Broken Rules

by Arrixam

So God won some war and is now purging all supernatural monsters across the globe. Okay. And my best friend is the Devil who turned Kuoh into some refugee camp for them. Fine. But why do I have to be in the middle of their fight! I was just a regular guy minding my own business. It all started the day I finally got a girlfriend...

1. Chapter 1

AN: ...I should be working on something else before posted a NEW story. I have like five that need updates.

This story contains a few original elements and a large AU setting. Read at your own discretion.

Chapter 1

I just wanted a girlfriend!

"An Earth without the Black Sun…"

He came through the skies from afar, from another world consumed in darkness. A world without its sun. A world long without life. A world with its core dead.

He came through a burst of fire and light, donned in armor of gold and light, blazing in a radiance only one could rival. He came surrounded in beings of light, each one just as brilliant as the greatest of Angels of Heaven. He came with hundreds of them.

"The godsair here… it is so rich…"

He came when they were at their weakest. He came right after their Father had perished. They tried to fight him. But the War had thinned them down and the death of their Father ruined their spirits. They didn't stand a chance.

Now he sat on the Throne. On His Throne. The center of the universe was his to command just as it had been the Heavenly Father's. It was unbelievable. It was blasphemy. None were as great as the Father, not even the greatest of his creations. Not the Archangels, not the Voice of God, and not even the Lord Incarnate.

Yet, he did.

There was no resistance from the Throne. It was as if it had welcomed him. His fingers slid across its surface, clicking buttons and sliding panels only he could see. His eyes traced over screens meant only for the eyes of the Lord.

"What a marvelous Ruler He was… this God of yours. But, this world is mine now. An Earth without Sir Rolan… I must thank you, Godking Dalang, for sending me to such a planet.

"A world with its sun. A world with humanity. Humanity offering prayers… producing godsair. A world with monsters and pagans to hunt them, to have them live in fear, and for them to offer prayers for salvation. Dalang, I could not have asked for a better world.

"And now, I am its God."

*Scene*

I, Hyoudou Issei, am having one of those days where I regret getting out of bed.

It started like any normal day, really. Mom yells at me to get out of bed, I head on over to school, run into my two mates and we talk about the latest hentai and eroge we played over the weekend, and the whole school looks down on us for talking about these things in public. Nothing was out of the norm.

And then, Motohama tells us, after school on this day, that he located a new spot to peep on the girls' changing room. My gut was telling me how bad of an idea it was… but then my instincts were tossed out the window. I mean, really, the heck with survival instincts! This was girls he was talking about! Girls changing for their club activities!

So we went, hiding around the corner under the tree and inside the bushes. The peephole Motohama was talking about was only big enough for two at a time, which meant I had to play a game with Matsuda to see which of us went first. Sadly, Matsuda won and the two of them got first dibs at the glorious sight through forbidden territory.

"Okay, Ise. It's your turn now."

So said Motohama. Even Matsuda moved away and gave me the OK. I should have thought more about their behavior— these two would have tried to extend their time for as long as possible. But, hey, GIRLS! Without thinking about it any further, I dove straight to have my turn.

Only, there weren't any girls. No one was inside.

"Hey, uh, guys? What gives— Guys?"

I turned back around to ask them, but they were nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, great, it's you again. Will you ever learn?"

It took me a second to realize that voice was talking to me. When I turned to see who it was, I felt the coldness of death wash over me. Standing behind me was the entirety of the kendo team in their gear and holding their boken.

"Wait…" I said as I counted the days with my fingers. "Today should have been for the field sports. W-Why are you guys here?"

"He knows our schedule?" one of the girls looked at me with disgust.

"As expected by one of the Perverted Trio," another looked at me with dead eyes.

The team captain sighed and tapped her boken against her shoulder. "I was wondering why the soccer captain asked me to switch days. Now I know. Any last words?"

The intensity of their glares increased.

"…I didn't get to see anything," was all I could manage. Those damn 'friends' of mine totally got to see everything and then booked it when they had gotten caught. And they used me as a scapegoat too!

The captain nodded, "Doesn't matter. You should know the drill by this point. We were going to make you forget anyways. Better safe than sorry."

And then they began to beat me with their practice swords.

*Scene*

"Hyoudou-san, you need to stop doing this," groaned Rossweisse-sensei as she continued to scold me from within the teacher's lounge.

The disciplinary squad showed up while the Kendo Club continued to wail on me. They didn't bother to stop it until they thought I had enough and then dragged me away. That's the downside about going to a school that was previously an all-girl's academy; most of the girls tend to look down on us boys. Especially people like me, who is the incarnation of sexual desires.

But, no matter what, it'll always be worth it! If I can at least spot some pants on a windy day or breasts during one of our peeping events then I'll withstand any punishment the girls throw at me!

"Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, Rossweisse-sensei," I bowed my head and nodded. Rossweisse was only a year older than me but was apparently some sort of genius back in her home country. She already graduated from college and gained her teacher's license. With her relatable age, her long silver hair, her crystalline blue eyes, and her impressive figure Rossweisse was one of the Top Ten Beauties of Kuoh Academy. She was number five or six, I think.

She was also the only teacher available this late in the day. Normally one of the other teachers would be here but she's still fairly new and I think the other teachers just hand their work over to her. Like some sort of initiation she has to go through to be fully accepted. It would explain why there are so many documents on her desk and why she's the only one here.

"This is the third time this month, Hyoudou-san," she sighed with disappointment and weariness. Y-Yeah, we've had these sort of dealings a number of times. "I thought we came to an understanding when I talked to your parents. But it looks like that wasn't enough to get through to you. What to do with you…? I guess I have no choice but to suspend—"

"Coming in~" came my sweet salvation!

The door slid open and a really tall bishounen entered with a stack of papers in his hands. This was Philips Artemis-san. Or, how he likes to introduce himself, Artemis James Philips. He was a first-year who transferred all the way from America. The guy was another one of those damn handsomes and ranked number three in the Top Five Royals. He was nicknamed the King of Kuoh for this kingly attitude everyone comments on but I've never really seen it.

On another note, the number one guy, Kiba Yuuto, is nicknamed the Prince of Kuoh. Doesn't make sense to have the top spot named 'Prince' while the number three guy named 'King'. But whatever. I don't know who comes up with these names.

"Rose-sensei…?" Philips-san looked at Rossweisse-sensei. That damn handsome was the only one who could call the Valkyrie of Kuoh 'Rose'! All else got a tongue lashing from her. But somehow this guy could get away with it! "What are you still doing here? I thought you'd be at the flash sale by now."

Rossweisse's head snapped towards him fast enough to make me think she hurt her neck. Her eyes were wide and sparkling. "Flash what?! Where?! Why?! How?!"

…Ah, that's right. Rossweisse was always talking in her free time about bargain sales and one-hundred yen specialty shops. She even slipped them in during her lectures and lessons. It must be hard trying to live with a teacher's budget.

"Oh, I thought you knew about it," Philips-san shrugged as he placed the stack of papers in one of the bins on a teacher's desk. "Samachi-san is having certain produce on sale. I think certain things are going for a hundred yen."

"Eh?!" Rossweisse-sensei shrieked and stood from her seat.

"Sensei, you should leave now. It's going to be over in, like, fifteen minutes."

Rossweisse froze with her mouth agape. She began to calculate things with her fingers while looking at me and outside the window. "It'll take me ten minutes to wrap this all up. Paperwork and writing the letter to his parents. Another ten minutes to at least get into town and then two to get to the shop. I won't have enough time unless I…"

She stood straight, coughed into her hand, and addressed me in a stern voice. "H-Hyoudou-san! Don't do this again! Now if you'll excuse me I need to be going!"

…And she was out the door before I could blink. Really. She had grabbed her things, thanked Philips-san for the information in a quick bow, and was out the door all in a split second. There was even an afterimage of her wagging her finger at me before it faded away.

I let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Philips-san. I thought I was going to be in serious trouble right about—"

"You owe me, Hyoudou," he said with a frown. He crossed his arms as he leaned against Rossweisse-san's desk. His expression looked peeved at me. This guy! Going as far as to drop the honorifics on my name! He must be pissed. "There was a flash sale and I'm missing it because of you. So now I'm not going to have food for the rest of the week, let alone for dinner tonight. Buy me something or there won't be a next time."

For a 'King', he was always complaining about money… Well I guess that's what happens when you live by yourself after coming from America.

The guy was lucky I had gotten my allowance from my parents just recently. I'm also lucky I got my allowance or the next time I got in trouble Philips-san wouldn't save me. I guess we're both lucky then.

*Scene*

"Kid, we need to talk," Philips-san began as we sat at chain diner 'Benny's'. The guy never ate Japanese food. There's nothing wrong with it! But he always drags me to get American food. He also orders a lot and says he'll only eat half of it and then save the other half for later.

"Don't call me that. I'm older than you! So call me sempai!"

"And what a marvelous job you've done so far living up as a fine example to your juniors, sempai," he sassed back at me. Seriously, this guy always ticks me off. He always calls me 'kid' or drops the honorifics. I get it's the American equivalent to calling someone 'baldy' but regardless it's rude!

"Don't you get tired of getting in trouble? I'm definitely tired of pulling your ass out of the fire, pardon my language. The girls constantly beat you before sending you off for your sentence. You're clearly not getting any results in… whatever it is you're trying to attempt. Don't you think you've learned by now what you're doing isn't going to get you a girl?"

Shut up you damn handsome! Just because you get girls looking at you doesn't mean you know what it's like to be me! I'm not that good looking and all the girls already hate me. There's no way I can get myself a girlfriend this late in the game so I might as well get what I can.

I sighed and answered him, "Philips-san, why do you even do this? I never asked you to help me before."

I had never asked him this, only thanked him. Apparently it was a weird question 'cause he stopped moving. His eyes were downcast as his face looked melancholy. But it quickly went away as his normal expression returned.

"Two reasons, I suppose. First, you're an excellent source of quick cash when I run out of funds. Rent is hard to pay even with my work license. No, I think because of my work license I'm having difficulty paying rent. They only allow me to work certain hours and I have to make time for studying. I need to keep up a perfect record if I'm allowed to keep it…

"The other reason… I had some friends back in America. Two of them. Their names were Luc Moe and Tony Lolifor— that's their western names addressee, by the way. You could call them… the Perverted Duo back in my old school. You and your friends remind me of them. Except, they at least won the girl in the end. I once stumbled on Lolifor doing the deed with Rachael Cornsbrea— you could call her an onee-sama of our school. You guys are nowhere near their level, but you still remind me of them."

I guess I'm supposed to be moved to tears by his explanation, but instead I only want to punch something. A Perverted Duo who could get the girl?! Heresy! What makes them so different from what we're doing?!

He waved his hand to move back to the conversation beforehand. "Look, I get you want to get laid. Nothing wrong with that. But you're going about it the wrong way. The way you're going now you're going to stay a virgin forever. Isn't there a curse here in Japan? Like if you stay a virgin by the time you're thirty you become a fairy?"

Y-Yes, there was a rumor like that. But you don't need to say it in a tone that suggests you actually believe in it.

"I don't care!" I argued against him. "So long as I get to see a pair of breasts then I'll gladly turn into a fairy!"

"…You don't need to say that so loud, especially in a place like this. People are staring now."

Ah. Yeah. Everyone was looking away as if pretending to have never heard me but I could still feel their eyes judging me. Philips-san looked embarrassed to be in the same table as me.

But I don't care! I am a pervert and proud to be one!

He tapped his fingers against the table in an odd rhythm. And then swayed them as if conducting an orchestra. It was weird whenever he did that. Weird things always happened. Sometimes the girls chasing me would stop running or they would listen to Philips-san's reasons to leave me alone. Sometimes they would trip over nothing. Sometimes a small fire would break out and everyone would help to put it out. Little things like that but they always happened whenever he moved his fingers and hands like that.

Nothing special happened. But I suddenly felt like the people were no longer paying attention to us. It was like Philips-san was some kind of magician or esper!

…I also tried to do what he does. It never worked and seemed to make the problems that much worse. The girls always thought I was messing with them.

"Hyoudou-san, wouldn't you like to touch a pair of breasts at some point in time?"

This guy had my full attention.

He nodded in satisfaction and went on. "Here's my proposition. I know a lot of girls. Don't give me that look; pay attention until the very end. Now, I know a lot of girls. I can introduce you to a few of them and can… persuade them, let's say, to go out with you. But by them dating you doesn't mean you're going to get any action. You need to work for that. So here's the deal; you and your friends meet with me after school from now on and I will coach you guys into what it means to be a gentleman. Hyoudou-san, as you are now, you're just going to get beaten up over and over again. Or wind up in prison. Or both."

I nodded as I listened to everything he had to say. I still wanted to punch him about his boasting on knowing girls. It was like he was rubbing it in my face… But Philips-san isn't like that. He always turns down the girls whenever they confess to him— which pisses me off because who would dare turn down any girl?! He's the sort of guy who could get a girlfriend whenever he wanted. He was humble, polite (if not a little blunt), modest, and helpful.

Huh. So there is some truth to him being a 'King' after all.

"What's the catch?" I asked. I couldn't help it. There was no way this deal was too good to be true.

"I was thinking you guys pay for a few of my meals here and there…" he began but then shook his head. "But no, that won't do. This will be free of charge. I'd like to consider you a friend, Hyoudou-san. You're terribly misguided but not a bad person. You never once ratted out those other two and always took the blame when they constantly ditched you. You're a good kid."

There he goes again, calling me a kid despite me being older. His praise was more of a backhanded compliment.

"…You mean it? I can really get to feel some tits after this is over?"

And now he looked at me with a glare of disappointment. It wasn't that far off from the dead looks the girls always gave me. As if I was a piece of trash someone was too lazy to throw away and left to rot on the street.

"Yes, Hyoudou-san, if you listen to my advice you can… 'feel some tits'," he said in monotone. "I guarantee you'll be able to get a girlfriend— and keep her, that's the important part— by the time this is over. However, I don't want to see you get in trouble like today again. The internet was made for a reason."

The way this guy talks… it's like he's the senior and I the junior. He always looks down on me and talks in a tone of authority like I was a child and he the parent. I guess that's what it means to be the King of Kuoh…

"I have Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays free after school. We can talk on those days… Oh. And I also want you to think of a goal. As in, who would you like to date. I can arrange something for you but you're going to have to work for it still, when I feel you're ready also. If that's everything, then I'll see you tomorrow, Hyoudou-san. Have a good night."

The guy pulled out a few plastic Tupperware from his backpack and scooped as much as he could into each container. Seriously Philips-san?! You totally had this planned, didn't you?! You knew I was going to pay for your meal, didn't you?! Don't tell me you planned for me to get caught by the kendo club!

With a wave to another, he slid out of his chair and walked back to the entrance of the diner with his backpack full of food over his shoulder.

Ten minutes later, the bill arrived. My heart skipped a beat. The bill was almost as much as my allowance and I won't be getting another one until the end of the month! I won't have enough for any of the new eroge coming out this weekend!

Damn that handsome!

*Scene*

It was the next day. The sun was shining high above the sky and I was smiling. There was even a sort of dance in my steps. And why not? The greatest of things happened to me last night. This morning I had told those two bastards who ditched me, they didn't believe me, and then proof came along just like it was supposed to! The look on their faces was priceless!

I had gotten a girlfriend! Amano Yuuma was her name and she had met me halfway to her school just like she promised she would. We were able to walk together until we had to go our separate ways. But it was enough to piss off those two.

"Oh ew, it's Hyoudou from second year."

"Don't let him touch you. I hear you'll get some nasty disease if he comes near you."

"Why is he here? I feel like I need a shower for him just being here!"

It was lunch time and I couldn't wait until after school. So I walked into the first year classroom and found Philips-san. He was sitting by his desk in the far back right next to the window. Of course someone like him would sit in the Legend Seat— the seat where every protagonist in every anime sat.

And of course he was eating the half-eaten burger he took from yesterday!

What's worse, he was sharing a meal with Toujou Koneko-chan! She was another one of the Top Ten Beauties and called the School Mascot! How dare he not only share the same classroom as her but was also so close as to get her to sit with him?! Unforgiveable.

The girls of the classroom were also huddled in a corner so to get as far away from me as possible. They kept saying harmful things to me. Philips-san, how can I get a girlfriend with such a bad reputation already?

But wait! I already have a girlfriend!

"Philips-san, can I talk to you? Ah, excuse me, hello Toujou-san."

The white haired loli stopped munching on her meal just enough to look at me. Her eyes narrowed but I guess she didn't see anything wrong because she went back to her meal right after.

Philips looked back at me after chewing his burger. I couldn't help but think it was cold and looked soggy. But he ate what he could when it was free. "Something you need, kid? This can't wait until after school?"

Outside his vision, Koneko's eyes flashed. She slowly moved her hand across her desk to try and nab one of his fries. Apparently it wasn't sneaky enough 'cause Philips slapped her hand away without having to look. Wow, so stingy about his food. Koneko puffed her cheeks and glared at him.

Ah. Toujou-san looks so cute when she's pouting like that. No wonder she's the school mascot.

"…Don't stare at me like that, pervert," she sent her glare then at me. It felt like I had been pierced through the heart. I've never felt words hurt me so badly.

"I have a lot to work with…" I heard Philips mutter under his breath. "Alright. Since you're here. What is it?"

I quickly snapped back. There was no time to be bleeding from Toujou-san's words! This was something epic! "That's right! Philips-san! I need your help more than ever now! You know that thing we were talking about last night?"

"Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

"Well it happened!"

He blinked. "R-Really?"

"Really!"

He put down his food and fully faced me. He was so focused on me this time he didn't catch Toujou-san stealing a fry from his container. "I'm… having some difficulty believing you. But alright. I'll believe you, for now at least. So I take it you're serious about my offer then?"

I bowed my head. "Please, Philips-san. More than anything right now I need your help. Please take good care of me."

"…I'm a man of my word. I'll come get you after school and then we can go from there."

"Thank you very much! I'll be in your care!"

"Sure, sure. But you should probably leave now before the girls get any further ideas about us."

I didn't understand what he was talking about. I raised my head and looked around the classroom. All the girls were staring at me and whispering amongst themselves. Nothing out of the norm whenever I was around. But then I started to hear the things they were talking about.

"D-Don't tell me they… y'know."

"Is this the beginnings of a Hyouduo x Philips?"

"…Or is it Philips x Hyoudou?"

"So that's what Philips-sama was talking about when he said he was a pitcher!"

"I told you there was no baseball club here! You all didn't believe me!"

"So that's why he didn't accept any of our advances. He bats for the other team…"

"No! I won't accept it! Philips-sama if you're going to play that game then be on Kiba-kun's team instead! Anyone but Hyoudou!"

O-Oi! What the hell are you guys saying?! I'm standing right in front of you so don't act like I'm no longer in the room!

"Dammit Toujou!" shouted Philips. "One or two I can forgive but did you have to eat my whole freaking lunch?!"

I looked back to see Toujou-chan wiping her mouth with a napkin. Both her bento and Philips' box was empty. "…A lowered guard may lead to a fatality."

She said such sharp words! Even Philips flinched. He slammed his head against the desk. Toujou-chan raised her fist up into the air in victory. A technical knock-out?! Someone in the back of the room even rang a bell. They kept such a thing for moments like these?!

I excused myself from the room. It started to get a little awkward when Philips-san began to cry…

*Scene*

"Ooouuuuu~ I get to have Rossweisse-sensei as a partner?!"

It was after school. Philips-san dragged me away to the teacher's lounge without a word. I guess he was still upset about lunch. I felt a little bad for him so I bought him a snack from one of the vending machines. Just a bag of chips, really. His sour mood immediately lit up and he was a lot happier.

I didn't know why we were in the teacher's lounge. It was also depressing to find Rossweisse by herself again with another huge stack of papers. The teachers really put her to work. She's been here for a few months so I don't see why they keep doing this. Maybe they just got used to having her doing all their workload? What a bunch of lazy people.

"Rose-sensei has agreed to be the test-dummy. May her sacrifice be remembered for thousands of generations…"

H-Hey! You don't need to make it sound like I'm going to do something terrible to her! Yeah, Rossweisse-sensei is smoking hot but at least have some faith in me! I have a girlfriend! If anything I'm going to be doing things to Yuuma-chan instead! Rossweisse is a beautiful foreign beauty but Yuuma-chan is even prettier and has much bigger boobs!

Rossweisse stood with a focused look on her face and a fist raised at chest height. She looked determined. "I accept this roll, Artemis-san! Y-You promised, right? I get to have those coupons for the upcoming steak sale, right?! Sirloins for half off?!"

O-Oh. So that's why she agreed to this.

And come on! I knew he gets to call her 'Rose' but she even calls him by a first-name basis?! What the hell is up with this guy?!

Philips-san then turned to me and began to explain things. He had a lecturing tone and wagged his finger around. "Hyoudou-san, you said you had a date this Sunday, right? So here's what we're going to do. The three of us are going to run some exercises. I'm going to be guiding you and telling you how you should act. And if I see anything inappropriate, you're going to get penalized. Got it?"

I nodded. I don't know what sort of penalty Philips-san could give but it didn't matter! I was serious about this! I want to do my best to please my girlfriend!

"Good, I like that look in your eyes. Now, face Rose-sensei. Don't slouch. Keep your back straight and chin up. Look straight at her eyes. I don't want you to see you looking anywhere below her lips, do you understand?"

"Um… sure? But what am I supposed to do?"

"Talk to her," he said with a shrug. As if such a thing were so simple!

I scratched the back of my head but listened to his words. I made sure to keep looking at her like how Philips-san instructed. But I had difficulty thinking of something to talk about. So I began with the first thing that came to my mind.

"I… like your suit Rossweisse-sensei."

She nodded and gave a small smile. "Thank you, Hyoudou-san. I got it on a discount! I managed to convince the manager that one sleeve was shorter than the other and I got ten percent off."

W-Wow. Being a teacher must be really difficult. I think I'm going to cross that out as one my career choices when I have to meet with the career consultant at the end of the year. Such a shame too. The idea of forever being surrounded by young high school girls for the rest of my life was a pleasant idea…

But so far so good! Philips-san nodded at me in approval. He then waved his hand around in a gesture to keep the conversation rolling.

"Y-Yes! It's a very nice suit! The stripes really make your boobs stand out—"

"NO!" shouted Philips and then he hit me with something hard on the head! A fan! A fold up fan?! Who uses a fold up fan outside of comedy sketches?! And is that thing lined with iron or something?! It hurt!

"Kid, it's fine if you think like that but you need to stop those thoughts from escaping into the real world. If you're going to compliment her then talk about something she likes. Her hair. Her eyes. Her nails. Her shoes. Her clothes. Anything is fine except her womanly parts. That's sexual harassment. Alright. I'm going to show you an example. So pay attention."

He put the fan down onto one of the desks and then turned to Rossweisse-sensei. He put up a smile— one of those smiles I hated so much because it caused the girls to coo every time it appeared. "Hello Rose-sensei. I see you got a new hairpin. It looks good on you. How has your day been going so far?"

Rossweisse nodded and played along. She put up a smile on her own and added to the scene. "Oh this thing old thing? It was a gift from my graduation. As for today…"

She suddenly sagged her shoulders and sighed. She made herself depressed that fast?! This is still an act… right?

"I got yelled at again for yesterday. I didn't get to finish grading some of the papers and the director got mad at me. So now I have to stay longer than usual until I finish them. I may even have to take some of them home and finish them there if it gets too late."

"…I'm very sorry to hear that. But don't let it bother you too much. You left because of that flash sale. Your health is a bigger concern. Your students understand and we all look up to you. I think we'll live if we have to wait a day or two for some test results. Least most of us will. You know how some of those smarties are with their exam fetishes."

His words pumped Rossweisse-sensei. She raised both her fists close to her chest. There was fire in her eyes. "Y-You're right! I would be a disgrace of a teacher if I let this bother me! My students will always be behind me… and I won't let them down! I'll get to those papers and hand them back as soon as I can!"

Philips-san nodded and then turned back to me. "See? Now let's look at what I did. I engaged in a conversation by starting with a greeting. And then I complimented her on her accessory. And then I asked her about her wellbeing. See, the trick is to find a topic for the both of you to relate on. But do you want to know the secret?"

I nodded. Philips-san sure was impressive. He was able to get Rossweisse so excited! She even went back to her desk and was flipping through papers like crazy while we were talking.

He gestured for me to come closer. I-It must be a huge secret if he didn't want Rossweisse to hear… not that I think she will since she's so absorbed in her work. But I went anyways. He leaned against my shoulder and whispered into my ear.

"The secret… is to listen."

…Huh?

And then the guy stands regularly and gives us space. He even nods as if his words came from the heavens itself!

I really don't get this damn handsome at all.

"Don't give me that look. I'm serious. How would you like it if you blabbed about something and no one bothered to pay attention to you? Look at it this way. Let's say… Ah. A new game came out. You bought it, played it, loved it, and want to share it with someone. So you go to one of your friends and recommend it to them and tell them how great it is. But at the end of your speech they reply with something like 'Oh, Ise, is that a new shirt?' How would you feel?"

"…I'm not getting it," I said. "Motohama and Matsuda would be interested in any eroge I play. I'm pretty sure they would have played it before me or would have gotten the game along with me. So how can they—"

He smacked me with the fan again. Stop that! It hurts!

"God dammit, kid. Listen. The trick to any successful relationship is to have a connection between the both of you. Even mute couples are able to get along because they still manage to find something to share with. Now how will you learn anything about this girl if you're not willing to listen to anything she has to say? You can't keep staring at her breasts the whole time and draw a blank when she asks you a question."

"…But what if I stare at her boobs and am still able to answer her question?"

It was a serious question! You didn't have to hit me again for that!

"It's not her body you're supposed to pay attention to. It's her. Let's flip the scenario for a second. She has no interest whatsoever in you. She's only interested in, I don't know, let's say for this situation one of your DVDs. She really wants this movie and is only focused on getting it from you. She couldn't care less about you."

"…But we can watch it together. I'm okay with that."

"She wants to own it. She's a collector. And once she gets it from you she's going to throw you away and pretend to have never met you."

"…Do I get to grope her boobs in exchange for this DVD?"

"…No."

"Then what's the point?!"

"Exactly!" he cheered. Apparently I reached some good conclusion. "If you don't get what you want out of her then what's the point in dating her? You're not going to get any action so you might as well cut ties with her and move on, right? You can't do anything perverted to her and that's your whole reason for getting a girlfriend, right? If that's the case then you might as well get rid of her."

"Right!" I nodded fiercely. So this guy did understand me! And here I was beginning to think he did play for the other team.

"…Aretmis-san, please don't put things like that inside his head," said Rossweisse from her desk. Oh. So she was listening this whole time…

Philips-san nodded at her words and then went back to me. "So you're not going to get what you want, Issei. Because this girl isn't willing to give you anything. She's uninterested in you personally and is only after your things. That sort of girl is trash, right? You want nothing to do with her, right?"

"Right," I nodded.

"Good. Because that's exactly what you are."

I blinked.

"…Eh?"

Philips-san crossed his arms as he leaned on Rossweisse's desk. She stopped what she was doing after his remark and listened more intently on our conversation.

"Kid, here's where you stand. You are on the bottom of the totem pole. Do you know what that means? It doesn't just mean you are the least popular person in this school. It also means you are the one thing everyone walks all over. You are dirt and you want to know why?

"Because you don't respect anyone. You don't bother to look anyone as if they are human beings. Kid, when a boy comes your way I see you look at them as something threatening simply because they are male. And you look at the girls as nothing more than meat. If you are going to keep going like this then why should they treat you any differently?

"You are going to be alone. No, you are alone. This girl who asked to date you will quickly find out how shallow you really are. She'll stick with you for only one date before she realizes how worthless you are. She won't give you the chance to see anything under her clothes. You'd be lucky if you ever saw her again. But you know what, she won't be the first. There'll be a long line of women who will treat you this way. In fact, that line's already there. Just look at every girl in this academy.

"You will never have a serious relationship with another woman. But, if you're fine with it, if you really want to see a pair of tits that bad then I can point you in the right direction. I know a few hookers who are willing to do anything for drug money. You know, the kind that have been with hundreds of men before you come along. It's the best you're going to get with the way things are. So long as you're fine never knowing what love really is…"

He sighed and reached for something in his back pocket. But he realized something after taking a few blinks and stopped himself from doing so. Instead, he rubbed the lower half of his jaw.

I'll admit… most of the words he said flew over my head. Not because I couldn't understand them… but because I didn't want to hear them.

…Because I knew he was telling the truth. Even if I covered my ears and turned away from him I would still be able to hear everything. His words bounced around inside my head.

No one liked me. Yeah, that was true. I only had Motohama and Matsuda to turn to and those two had been my best buds since the old days because of a sort of comradery. Honestly, we knew nothing about the other outside of our interest of porn and women. Even my parents avoided looking at me; they were so ashamed of my antics and how much trouble I caused them.

I always wanted a girlfriend. I was dangerously close to accepting I would never get one because I was so hated. But was I really okay with that? No! I really wanted a girlfriend! But Philips-san was right. I would never be able to keep her if the only thing I cared about was seeing her breasts.

"Artemis-san, honestly, you didn't have to go so far as to make him cry," sighed Rossweisse from her seat.

"Yes I did. It's called a reality check. We all go through with it at least once in our lives," was his reply.

S-Shut up, you damn handsome! You don't know what I've been going through! You always have girls looking your way and you always turn down their advances. Why?! Do you really bat for the other team?! No, you even turn down the boys. You preach about love and companionship but I only ever see you talk to me. You don't even talk to Toujou-chan even though you eat lunch with her. And you only tell Rossweisse-sensei about the latest deals going on even when you guys call each other by nicknames and first-names.

"Hyoudou… don't you want to do something special with someone you love?" Philips-san began to talk in a gentler voice. "To hold her hand? To embrace her? To kiss her? Don't you want her to stay by your side and willingly let you do things to her, because she loves you? Aren't you tired of being alone?"

He stared at me. No. His eyes were looking at me but it didn't feel like he was focusing on me. It sounded more like he was asking himself that question than anything.

"Philips-san… what do I have to do?" I asked him after wiping my face on my sleeve. I swear I wasn't crying! It was just dust getting into my eyes! "I want to do ecchi things to Yuuma-chan but… I don't want her to hate me. I like Yuuma-chan! She's the first girl to ever ask me out! I want to be a good boyfriend!"

He gave me a smile. A smile like a father being proud of their son. Geez… I wish my dad looked at me that way. It's been a while since I've seen my old man look like that…

"Rose-sensei, if you're not too busy, I'd like to borrow you just a little bit longer. We have a lot to cover before Sunday."

*Scene*

Today was the big day! Ooo, I was so nervous!

Both Philips-san and Rossweisse-sensei were a lot of help. Both of them stayed after hours to go over scenarios and offered advice… though Rossweisse wasn't that much of a help in that department. She always fell into a crying fit whenever asked about her love life. It was a sensitive topic for her, apparently. The best she could do was act as the test-dummy.

Philips-san still hit me with the fan here and there. Just throwing it out there.

I was surprised my father lent me some spending money when I told him I was going on a date. I didn't think either he or my mom would believe me when they asked what I was doing this Sunday afternoon. But after a quick explanation and, apparently from the old man's comments, some expression on my face told them I was telling the truth. And then they both gave me embarrassing advice on how to treat Yuuma-chan.

Huh. I was more surprised to hear it was the same stuff Philips-san told me.

"Hello, Ise-kun," Yuuma appeared a few minutes after the appointed time we were supposed to meet. "Sorry I'm late. Did you wait long for me?"

"No, I just got here myself," I replied. A-Actually I got here half an hour earlier than I was supposed to because I was so excited. But I wanted to use that line for so long!

Ah~ Yuuma-chan looks so cute today in her dress and blouse combo. I've only seen her in her school uniform whenever we met in the mornings on our way to school. She looked adorable in regular clothes.

With that, we started on our big date! I made sure to follow every piece of advice given to me down to the letter. We went to the aquarium to look at the fish; I made sure to give Yuuma plenty of space but at the same time made sure I was within her viewing distance. We had lunch at a café and I made sure to keep my eyes locked on hers, trying my hardest not to look at her impressive and alluring breasts, and listened to every word she had to say. We went shopping and I commented on her choice of clothing, complimenting how it went with her after recalling what not to say as sexual harassment.

We also went to the gaming center; I won her a plush toy. It wasn't all that impressive and it took me a lot of tries. But Yuuma seemed happy about the prize.

Before I realized it, the sun was already setting. Time sure does fly when you're having fun.

Ah!

Before I realize it, Yuuma is wrapping her arm around mine! I can feel my arm rub against her breast! I'm sorry Philips-san! No matter how hard I try I can't ignore a soft sensation such as this!

"Ise-kun, before the day's over there's one more place I want to go. Is that okay?"

"S-Sure," I stuttered. My face was getting warm but I kept my smile and made sure to never look anywhere lower than her lips. It felt like my brain was frying itself from this must mental strain. I never looked at her breasts all day!

Remember the end goal, Issei! Remember the end goal! This was just one date out of many!

In the end, Yuuma held my hand the entire time as she led me into the nearby park. No one was around us as we walked towards the center where a fountain lay. A few benches were spread about here and there. With the setting sun it looked like the perfect place to end a date.

Yuuma took a seat at the fountain edge as she looked at the Red Plush-kun I had won her. It was some fat, squat person in red dragon armor based on some anime about a guy named Red Blur. I didn't like it. But all the girls in the class were gooing over it. Apparently even Yuuma.

But… her face looked kinda sad. Did I do something wrong? Was today not enjoyable?! I was sure I did everything correct! Where did I go wrong?!

"…I really did enjoy today," she said. It sounded like she couldn't believe it. "Ise-kun, can you come here? There's something I need to tell you."

I nodded my head and came closer, but not too close. She gave me a small smile and gestured for me to come closer. I did, slowly, and she kept waving her hand to come closer. It go to the point where I was between her legs.

And then she wrapped them around mine! Ooowwwaaaaaaa! I don't know what's going on but I won't reject it.

She put Red Plush-kun to the side and put one hand on my cheek. "I was… surprised. Impressed even. It wasn't the best date I've been on but… it really did look like you had some potential. I like you, Ise-kun. If this were a normal date I would have let you take me to one of the love hotels."

Eh?! Seriously, Yuuma-chan! T-That's a joke, right?! No… by the look on your face you're really serious. Then… I could have done ecchi things to you and you would have been okay with—

Wait. What do you mean by 'if this were a normal date'?

"That magician made a contract with me. He told me to ask you out. We had some big story for you. I was to go on this date with you and no matter what you did to me I would pretend to like you to the very end. And then tell you I was moving away and disappear thereafter. A big boost to your ego and self-esteem. He really did believe in you, it seems. He was watching our date earlier to make sure everything went smoothly and then left after a good hour in.

"But it seems I kinda like you. I thought you'd be some gross child but you turned out to be quite the gentleman. You still have some fault… but you would have grown into something wonderful if given enough time.

"But that magician failed to mention something to me…"

I have no idea what she's talking about. Magician? Like from some RPG? Is this some kind of LARP? Do I go along with it?

But as soon as I opened my mouth to ask her, Yuuma pulled me in with her legs and pressed her lips against mine. T-This is my first kiss! To think I could have it with someone as cute as Yuuma-chan~ Awaaaaaa~ Her tongue! Her tongue was wiggling inside! It was making a mess inside my mouth and ooowwaaaaaahhhhhhh it felt amazing!

"Please forgive me with this…" she said as she pulled away.

Pain.

Pain surged through my stomach. A very sharp pain I couldn't understand. I've never felt anything like it before.

I lowered my head and looked. My eyes widened. I couldn't believe it. I didn't understand what was happening.

Yuuma was holding… a bar of… light? Something bright and glowing hot. Whatever it was, it was stabbing me in the abdomen. I could feel the burning sensation scorching my insides and drilling out of my back. If I look behind me I know this thing, this spear, was poking out of my back.

Yuuma pulled the spear out of my stomach. I lost my strength and fell to the floor. My hands went to the wound to keep the blood from escaping but there was nothing I could do. I was feeling weak.

"I'm sorry, Ise-kun," I heard her say with indifference. This wasn't the cute Yuuma I had liked. Her face was cold. She was looking at me as if I was dirt. No, lower than dirt. Like I was some maggot crawling within the ground. "But you have a Sacred Gear. No matter how hard you would have tried, you would have become our enemy at some point. It's better you die now than later."

Sacred what? I don't understand. I don't understand anything! Yuuma-chan, why did you stab me? Why did you kill me? What did I do wrong on our date?! At least tell me that and slap me. Did I really deserve to die because I made a mistake somewhere?!

Urk… the world is getting dark. The pain is dying now. I'm starting to feel cold. My body is so heavy it feels like I need to sleep. But my mind is still panicking. If I fall asleep now I will never be able to wake up again.

Oh… Yuuma is gone… I didn't even see her leave. I'm all alone.

Ah, Philips-san was right. I would be alone in the end. Because I must have made a mistake somewhere, because I didn't treat Yuuma-chan right, I'm going to die alone.

I don't want that. Please. I don't want that.

Hey, God, I know I never prayed to you before. And I know I'm the most sinful of beings as the living incarnation of lust and all… but will you listen to my last words?

I wish… even if for the last moments of my life… I wish someone would stay with me.

I don't want to be alone…

I can't see anything anymore. But it feels like the world is spinning. It's so cold but I don't shiver. Man… I don't even have the strength to shiver.

Death is so peaceful. It's frightening. But it's peaceful.

And soothing. Ah~ It feels like my head is resting against someone's lap. If only this were real. What I wouldn't give to have a real onee-sama let me use her thighs as a pillow.

But that'll never happen.

I'm dead.

*Scene*

You know, being dead isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Not sure what I was expecting but I know it wasn't going to be as nice as this. It felt warm and comfortable. It felt like I was swimming through sheets of silk and cotton while being wrapped in the arms of Shinigami onee-sama.

Ah~ Her breasts are nice and soft. Not as big as I would like them to be but they're still nice.

But, I didn't think being dead would be so similar to being alive. I don't have a body anymore so I should just be a wisp, right? Weird. It feels like I'm sleeping away in my own bed with this onee-sama stroking my head.

"Good morning, Issei~"

Even the sound of her voice sounded cute. It definitely belonged to an onee-sama. If I could stay like this for the rest of eternity then I think I'll be happy with that. Onee-sama please stroke my head some more~

Shinigami onee-sama giggled and did as I asked. Her fingers running through my hair felt really nice. She even scratched that spot behind my ear for me.

"Isn't it time you wake up now?"

But I don't wanna! I just wanna stay here while it's still warm. I know you're just transporting me to be judged Shinigami-oneesama but let me stay like this just a little bit longer.

"Oh Angels above… We can stay like this if you want, Issei. But I still think it's time for you to wake up. Open your eyes? For me?"

Open… my eyes?

So I did. It was kinda hard to see at first. But my eyes quickly adjusted. The area around us was dark but I could see traces of light seeping through the gaps in the… curtains?

Wait a minute…

This was my room!

I was lying in bed. I know it was my bed. I've had this thing since I was in middle school. And this was my room. I recognize the posters of buxom women and eroge characters anywhere. But it didn't make any sense. I thought I was dead…

Maybe this was heaven? Yeah that had to be it. I always wanted to wake up one morning with a girl in my bed. So if this is heaven… then Shinigami-oneesama is really an Angel-oneesama?

"This isn't Heaven, Issei," said Angel-oneesama. "This is still Kuoh. You're very much alive."

She was beautiful. Really beautiful. I was breath-taken by her appearance.

Long, honey colored hair that curled at the tips, honey colored eyes, and pure white skin. She had a heart-shaped face, pink lips, a small cute nose, and a really gentle smile. She looked a few years older than me. Maybe some college girl? Hmm… No, definitely an angel. Her skin was glowing as if some light was pulsing under her skin.

We were lying in my bed. Together. Her arms were wrapped around my neck while she continued to stroke my head like I wanted. But being this close to such a beauty… e-especially in bed…

She smiled as she let go of me and sat up, pushing the sheets aside. She was dressed in pure white pajamas. They were so normal but they made her look that much more adorable.

By the way, I was dressed in a tank-top and some gym shorts. It's usually what I wear to bed anyways. Weird. I'd imagine the both of us being naked if we were waking up like this. Did that mean I didn't become a man last night?

Mou… So I didn't lose my virginity. That's not fair. Angel-oneesama was so pretty too. Her breasts aren't as great as Yuuma-chan's but they're still really nice—

Yuuma.

My head started to hurt. I… I suddenly remembered. Did last night really happen? Did that really happen? Did my girlfriend really kill me after our date? My hand went to my stomach but there was no gaping hole there. Did I just imagine everything? Was it all just a dream?

Angel-oneesama put her hands on mine. Her smile turned sad. Ah, I'm sorry Angel-oneesama. I was just having a moment to myself. Please don't make a face like that.

"You did nothing wrong," she said to me. Her voice was so gentle it felt like she was still stroking my head. "From what I saw… you really were trying to be the perfect gentleman. If you wish to blame someone, blame that Fallen Angel. It was her fault you are in such pain."

You saw? What do you mean you saw? And everything last night did happen? Yuuma really did try to kill me? And what do you mean by Fallen Angel? What is that? Who are you, Angel-oneesama? What's going on?

I couldn't voice these questions. But Angel-oneesama understood. Maybe it was from the look in my eyes. Or maybe it was because she was an angel. Her sad smile returned as her grip on my hand tightened just a little. Just enough to assure me everything will be okay.

"My name is Azu'Kurano," she said in a soft voice. "God has heard your wish. He was watching over you in your time of need. And He sent me to stay by your side. I am your designated guardian, Hyoudou Issei. Please take good care of me."

Owah… So Onee-sama is really an angel after all. She's my guardian angel.

"B-But I'm not religious!" I protested. Sure I'm crying on the inside of having a beautiful onee-sama being there for me from now on but I also don't feel like I deserve it. I never once prayed to God. And my parents followed the Shinto faith. "I mean… I don't think I've even seen a church in this town and I never once read anything from the bible. Why would God answer me of all people?"

Her smile brightened as she answered cheerily. "God loves all his children. He listens to the prayers of all and responds to them… provided they are within reason. He was delighted you had prayed to Him. But He also does not wish for you to change your faith. God will still love you no matter who you are, Issei. And He apologizes for giving you such a hard life of isolation. Thus, he sent me to stay by your side. To watch over your wellbeing from this point onwards.

"Understand I am no angel, though I am your guardian henceforth. I am the Princess of Heaven, His one and only daughter. Even the mighty Seraphim could not have resurrected you from the dead. Only I and God Himself possess the power to do so. Besides… there really isn't much for me to do in Heaven…"

She suddenly made such a bitter face. A face that would be seen on Rossweisse-sensei. Are things up in Heaven really that bad? Do you also struggle finding income to pay for things? Is that why you're being sent to handle a small guy like me?

I'm also crossing off angel as one of my future career choices.

"So… I really did die?" I asked. My hands still patted on my stomach. It felt perfectly fine as if there wasn't a gaping hole there before. "And, I guess, you saved me?"

"Yes, with my blessings I gave you new life," Azu'Ka… Azu'Ka-something said to me with another one of her beautiful smiles. I felt so bad. She did all this for me and I can't even remember her name.

"…You can call me Azu if you like," she said suddenly.

Ah. That would be easier to remember. I'm really sorry Azu-oneesama.

"T-Then you can call me Ise," I replied. My cheeks reddened by her friendliness. Only those bastards Motohama and Matsuda call me that and only because they were my best mates. But to have this really cute girl call me that felt really nice…

I raised my hand as if I was still in class. But I had a question that needed to be answered. "C-Can I call you Azu-oneesama?!"

This was a serious question! Don't judge me!

She seemed startled. Her eyes widened slightly and her smile dropped. I was beginning to think it was the wrong thing to ask of an angel… no, she was the Princess of Heaven… whatever that was. But then her smile returned. No! It grew bigger than before! Her smile lit up the room as this was the first time I've seen her this happy.

"I would be delighted if you did," she said.

M-My heart. What incredible power Onee-sama! I don't think it'll be healthy for my heart if you smile like that.

"T-Then, thank you Azu-oneesama," I folded up my knees under my body and gave a bow. "I owe you my life! I don't know how to repay you."

I felt her hands stroke my head again. "There is no need for you to thank me nor for you to prostrate yourself. It should have been our responsibility to prevent this from happening in the first place. I can only ask for your forgiveness instead. You went through something horrible because of our negligence."

D-Don't say such things! I'm a quip! You don't have to go out of your way for someone as insignificant as me!

"But… Onee-sama… what was Yuuma-chan…?"

Yes. This was something I needed answered more than anything. Azu says I did nothing wrong and it was all her fault but I don't believe it. I still feel like I did something wrong on the date. I needed to know what it was.

"…Amano Yuuma was never her real name," Azu explained in a heavy voice. Her face was sad again. Please don't make such a face like that. It makes me want to cry seeing such a face. "She is a Fallen Angel, one who had slipped through our attention. Had we noticed her we would have stopped her from harming you beforehand. But, we believed because of the special zone placed over this city, any creature hiding here can appear as human under our detection."

Special zone? Creatures? You mean there are more of them out there in the city?

"This town… it is a zest pool of pagans and monsters. They all flock here because Satan placed a grand barrier to reject Heaven. And using humans as shields… we cannot send angels to smite them. This town is a refuge for the world's worst. But I am getting ahead of myself…

"Her name is Raynare. She is a Fallen Angel of the Grigori— a sect of Fallen who broke off from Heaven ages ago and hid in the human realm. Most of their members were forgiven and welcomed back into Heaven but… many of them remained because they loved their sins so dearly. Raynare is one such individual. She lives in the sin of lust, pride, and gluttony. But understand it is nothing like the eroticisms you understand.

"She craves the blood of humans. She loves dominating them, proving this misguided sense of superiority of hers. And she devours in the taste when she kills humans. She is an existence Heaven cannot ignore. We have tried many times to purge her but she has always eluded us. Coming to this special zone made her that much harder to track…

"She saw you as an enemy. I am sorry. This was a fault on ours. You got involved in our affairs because of our inadequacy. It was another reason why I have been sent here. I am to make sure this mistake never happens again and to repent for my transgressions. I… was comfortable in Heaven. I was lax in my duties…"

Azu was quiet for a moment. Her eyes were downcast as she was thinking to herself. She must be really bummed out over this. Hey, God, don't you think that's a little harsh? I mean, yeah a mistake was made but was it so serious to punish her by kicking her out of Heaven? I'm just one person of no value whatsoever. You didn't have to go that far…

I waited… Yeah, there was no answer. Not that I thought there would have been.

It also got me thinking, her words I mean. Yuuma— I mean, Raynare thought I was an enemy. As I recall, she said something like that when she killed me. She said I would have become her enemy at some point no matter what I tried.

"Azu-oneesama, what is a Sacred Gear?" I asked.

Raynare mentioned the reason why she killed me had something to do with a Sacred Gear.

Azu's bitter mood was shaken off. She lifted her head and her small smile returned. "A Sacred Gear is an instrument bestowed upon humanity by the Lord. There was once a time when humanity could not protect their selves. It was a dark age when Devils and Fallen plagued on humanity and God's armies were not enough to fend them both off. So God created the Sacred Gears system and gave his blessings to humanity.

"A Sacred Gear can be many things. They could be an instrument of phenomenal power or they could be something so simple and domestic. Sometimes Sacred Gears don't awaken and the human goes on with their life never knowing, but it is undeniable all of those who possess them— whether awakened or not— become extraordinary individuals. You have one such power inside you, Ise. As a bearer of a Sacred Gear, you hold God's blessing. Thus, to a Fallen, you are their enemy."

Huh. Not gonna lie but a lot of this information is pretty hard to soak in. Like seriously. It was just yesterday I thought life was normal. But then I learn about Fallen— I heard some mention about Devils so there's that— learn God is real, sent his Princess to save and protect me, and now hear about Sacred Gears? It sounds like the plot to some shonen manga if you ask me.

I'm still trying to wrap my head over the thought of my girlfriend killing me. Can I still call her my girlfriend? No. From what I remember, she was never supposed to be my girlfriend in the first place. She said something about a magician hiring her to ask me on a date. That's a real bummer. I thought she had asked me out because she really liked me.

And I tried so hard to impress her…

Ah. I must have had a heavy look on my face. Onee-sama put her hands over mine again and gave a firm squeeze. Azu-oneesama your touch is really gentle and soothing.

"It's okay, Ise, I will be here for you. Nothing is going to hurt you again while I am here. I promise."

There was that smile again. That gentle smile that made me want to be embraced by this onee-sama as I nuzzled my head against her breasts.

"Angels above… Maybe if you're a good boy," she said randomly. I don't know what it meant.

"Issei how long are you going to stay in your room?!" I heard mom shout from the hallway. "You better not be masturbating again!"

Shit! I completely forgot to check what time it was! A-And hey! Don't be shouting embarrassing things like that! How little faith do you have in your son?! Azu-oneesama I swear it's not as bad as you think—

Wait! Azu is still here! Shit! How am I going to explain this?!

Mom! Wait! Don't open the door until I can think of something!

But it was too late. She flung the door open with her mouth agape. But not out of shock. She looked ready to yell at me to get out of bed. After our eyes made contact, she looked satisfied.

"Good, you're awake. Don't stay idle too long. Breakfast is almost ready."

And then she shut the door as if nothing had happened.

Mom… did you not see the glowing onee-sama sitting across of me on the bed?

Azu gave a small laugh— the sound of her laugh immediately sent me into a blissful mood. "Don't worry, Ise. I know how inconvenient these things are. Neither of your parents will be able to see me unless I will it. And you can have a normal conversation with me in this house with them present. They will ignore anything you say so you don't have to worry about looking like a crazy person. This isn't my first time playing guardian."

Ah. So she had done this before. How convenient.

"But I should press," she began in a firm tone. Even with a serious face she looked super cute. "This trick will not work on everyone. Kuoh is infested with pagans and monsters. None of them will be able to see me but they will take notice of you if you start talking to seemingly nothing. While you are out and about, please keep all conversations you want with me inside your head."

Huh. Yeah it would be a bit of an inconvenience if anyone saw me talking to myself. Though… I don't think at this point it could lower my reputation any further. Most pretend I don't exist so even if I acted like a crazy person no one would look my way.

Wait a minute. Onee-sama you mean to say you can read my mind?!

"It's not quite like that," she said, answering my unspoken question. "While, yes, I can hear all of your thoughts if I so chose, I will only hear the ones you direct towards me. I am not so prude as to invade your innermost thoughts. Having that said… I am flattered you think so highly of me. Please continue to compliment me… if it's not too much trouble…"

S-So she heard all the things I said about her? About how I thought she was pretty and adorable? Ah. Yeah, she can hear me. Azu-oneesama was bowing her head and blushing. She can totally hear everything I think about her. Then… does that mean she heard what I wanted to do with her breasts?!

"Maybe if you're a good boy," she had said before. I didn't understand what it meant but now I suddenly understood.

"I-Ise, what's wrong?" she asked.

Because I grabbed the blankets and hid my shame. I couldn't look at Onee-sama anymore after this. She heard what I wanted to do with her. I was so ashamed to have had such thoughts about this beautiful Princess after everything she's done for me. Yeah this is like a dream come true but Philips-san and Rossweisse-sensei taught me better than that! And now because she knows I'm a pervert I'll never be able to do those things with Azu-oneesama!

The sheets were pulled up and Azu-oneesama slipped underneath. Her arms wrapped around my head and brought me to her chest. Her breasts were so soft and warm, like two of the nicest pillows I've ever felt. I could even hear her heart beat. I don't deserve such a feeling.

"If you will never do anything indecent in these moments, I will hold you like this as many times as you wish," she said in a gentle voice. And then she began to stroke my head again.

Tears began to fall. I couldn't help it! This was such a nice feeling that I became so emotional. Onee-sama I'm sorry if I stain your pajamas. I'll be sure to wash them for you.

"Come now, that's enough," she patted my head and slipped out of the bed. "You should listen to your mother; being idle for so long is a burden. The day is beginning. But… if you still unwell I can make it so you can stay at home. I understand if you are still troubled over everything."

Hmm… staying at home does sound nice. I really do just want to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away. I'm already in bed so it could be as simple as closing my eyes.

But I didn't want to do that. I'm not the type to sulk for so long. Even I get tired of doing that. It would be better for everyone if I got out of bed and went on with my life. I'm still upset over my girlfriend being a fake and killing me. But what can I do about it? It happened and apparently there was nothing I could have done to change it.

If only she didn't kiss me. That had been my first kiss. If she hadn't kissed me then maybe I would have felt better about all this. I could have hated her. But I can't help but still have feelings for her. I know it was all a lie… but still. I don't know how to feel about Yuuma-Raynare-Whoever at the moment.

"No, I think I should go to school," I eventually answered.

I pushed the sheets off of me. To my surprise, Azu had already changed. She was out of her pajamas and in a sleeveless white sundress. It went well with her curves and gave her this summertime-beauty look to her. I was a little upset I didn't get to see her change.

She cleared her throat. Ah. She must have heard that last part…

*Scene*

"Hmm…" said Azu. Again. She had said that a number of times as we walked to school together. She hummed to herself whenever we passed by a group of people.

"Hmm…!" she said again as we made it to school. This time there was more enthusiasm, kinda like how I spot a smoking hot babe that matches all my preferences. She seemed excited as her head was moving around.

"It has been some time since I've been to a place like this…" she said to herself as she tapped a finger on her lips.

"I'm not the first person you've done this for?" I asked aloud.

Azu spun on her heels— her dress fluttered as she spun and I got to catch a glimpse of her pearly skin. She knitted her fingers together as she answered with delight, "Not under the same conditions but I did attend an academy like this in a similar situation. I was to retrieve the regalia of Heaven that fell into the hands of a… of an interesting young man. It would have been enjoyable if not for the circumstances of my involvement and for what he and his party were trying to achieve…"

Though she had a smile on her lips, she had this look of joy and melancholy mixing together. She was happy recalling the experiences but also sad probably because she was no longer a part of this person's life. I wonder what happened to that guy and why she's no longer there. Did she succeed in her job in getting the 'regalia of Heaven' from him? I wanted to ask but I didn't want to step on her toes.

"Can you possibly join my school then?" I asked.

Her normal warm smile returned. She gave a light laugh, "No, not under these conditions. Everyone here is an enemy of Heaven; I am not welcomed here and only permitted tolerance because I am your guardian. Simply because you are human. I fear they would either attempt to slay me or run me out of town if I reveal myself. Do not fret; I am perfectly fine with the way things are now.

"But, Ise, perhaps you should cease all communications with me like this," she said with a smile that was almost teasing. "You're looking at me and speaking out loud."

"…So?"

"I am invisible to everyone else, remember?" she answered with another fit of light laughter.

I looked around. Students walking through the quad were either staring at me or averting their eyes while whispering amongst themselves. My face started to burn. They probably think I'm crazy now. And Azu-oneesama told me earlier what might happen. And here I am looking like I'm talking to a figment of my imagination.

I bowed my head and kept walking until I made it to my shoe locker. But everyone was still talking about me. I could feel their stares and if I try hard enough I could hear their sharp words.

"One in every three students here is a creature of supernatural origins," Azu said to me as she leaned against the wall of lockers beside mine. Ah, she had already switched her sandals into a pair of school slippers. When does she do this? I never see her change. "I knew there were a lot of pagan beings in the specialty zone but I never knew this many. This exceeds Heaven's expectations."

Eh? So a third of my classmates are monsters? Like Yuuma-chan?

"Raynare," Azu reminded me. She got up from the locker as soon as I started to head to my classroom. We walked together side-by-side as she explained. "And yes. Most of them have humanoid forms or have the natural ability to shapeshift. But others have spells, charms, and instruments to hide their true forms. They're blending in with the human children without notice. It doesn't look like even some of them don't recognize the other."

Huh. But Onee-sama can. That's amazing.

"Thank you, but this is truly nothing so special," she said after sighing and placing a hand to her cheek. Her smile increased— she did ask me to keep complimenting her. It's not that hard when Azu-oneesama really is incredible as she is cute. "Oh please, Ise, I'm nothing compared to Gabriel. She's the most beautiful woman in Heaven. Ise, please keep your eyes forward. Do not look my way. Remember I'm not supposed to be here."

It's kinda hard to do that when I have this beautiful hime-sama walking beside me. Even if you don't talk to me you being at my side is enough of a distraction. Hmm… I wonder if I could pay attention to classes if I keep trying to peek glances at Azu-oneesama's side boob. I mean, the way she sways her arms and the way her dress if fitted I can catch a peek every so often. And she's not wearing a bra! I'm waiting for that perfect chance to see into the deeper—

Azu cleared her throat. Her smile was gone.

Ah! I totally forgot she can hear my thoughts…

I'm sorry Onee-sama, I can't help it! I'm a pervert!

We didn't say anything to another until we got to my classroom. Azu hummed again after inspecting everyone in the room. There wasn't anything special about her hum so I could only assume she found just as many supernatural people in my classroom.

"Oi! Ise!"

"Yo, Ise! We didn't see you this morning!"

My mates were calling out to me from the corner we normally hung around during breaks. I returned the greeting but my feet froze. A thought occurred to me. Something that made me break out into a cold sweat.

Were Motohama and Matsuda monsters in disguise as well?

"You can rest easy," Azu said at my side. "Those two are human. While there are pagan beings in this room as well… none of them will be of any threat to you, especially while I am here. You are under my protective blessings. They'll leave you alone. Think of it as a coating of insect repellent."

She said that last part with a chipper attitude. Heaven must really hate the supernatural if they're going to look at them like bugs. I can somewhat understand. If there are a lot of people like the Fallen Angel Raynare then I wouldn't like any of them either.

Azu walked over to the back of the room and sat in one of the spare desks. She must have known it was a spare somehow… or she didn't and guessed right? Or maybe read my mind to know which ones she could use? I don't know…

Anyways, I walked over to my buds and we did our usual greetings. We talked about what we did this weekend. Motohama told some story about how a few of his forum buddies got together in on offline meeting and was horrendously disappointed none of them were chicks. Matsuda just whined about how his parents were getting on him to go back into sports and stop hanging around with us. They said we were a bad influence on him. Which was true but, hey, I don't need to hear that!

"Yeah… my girlfriend turned out to be a fake and tried to kill me…" I told my story with a heavy sigh as I slouched in my seat. It still hurts. I really want to cry right now. Yuuma-chan… whhyyyyy?!

"…You hit your head or something, Ise?" Motohama questioned as he fixed his glasses.

"Yeah I think the world would have ended before any of us got a girlfriend," Matsuda returned with a blunt look.

Hey! Don't say such things with that kind of face! Wasn't the whole reason we enrolled here was to get a girlfriend?!

"That's not funny guys," I groaned back. "Ha, ha, ha, I get it, I get it. Yuuma-chan couldn't have possibly been real if she went out with someone like me, right?"

"Who?" they both asked.

Now I was getting annoyed.

"Amano Yuuma? The girl I introduced you to. The one who walked with me to school all week? You guys even filled my shoes with tacks when you found out! I bet you don't even believe we really went on a date yesterday."

They looked at me as if I was crazy, just like the other students had when I was seen talking to an invisible Azu.

"…I think he's finally cracked," Motohama said.

"Agreed," nodded Matsuda.

Why are you guys looking at me like that? You guys did some terrible things to me when you found out I had a girlfriend. Motohama, you tried to peek under Yuuma-chan's skirt and she decked you hard in the face for it. Why did neither of you remember any of this? Why are you accusing me of being a liar? Come one. This joke has gone far enough, hasn't it?

"Issei…"

I heard Azu's voice whisper to my ear. I almost turned my head to look at her but she pushed me away with a finger at my chin. She had a sad smile… What is it Onee-sama?

"No one here should remember the Fallen Angel," she explained to me. "You should not for that matter. You were supposed to be dead so that is why you are unaffected. But a curse has been placed throughout the city. All who came in contact with that woman had their memories wiped of her existence. I'm sorry…"

O-Oh. I… I see now. So… not only did she try to kill me but she made it so she never existed. What would that have meant for me then? I would be dead— would no one remember me? Would it have been reported that I would have been killed by some freak accident?

Would anyone have honestly cared?

Mom and Dad would have. They would have cried. But I've been such a useless son to them they probably would get over it quickly. Motohama and Matsuda probably would as well. It's not like they need me. I've been nothing but some scapegoat for them these past few years. Everyone would be able to get by without me.

Before I knew it, Azu had slipped her arms around my shoulder and gave me a hug. She did it without having to move my body. It would have looked awkward to have me leaning against something invisible. I understood this much. Thank you Onee-sama for doing this much for me. You're a really nice person, aren't you? Geez. I wish I had a girlfriend as nice as you.

"I'm thankful you feel that way about me," she sighed as she released me. "Be strong. I will be there to make sure no one hurts you ever again. So be strong and be happy. My blessings will insure you will find someone who will return such affections."

"Yo, Ise, you alright there?"

I didn't realize I had spaced out at that moment. Motohama had called me out while Matsuda waved a hand in front of my face. Yeah, yeah, I'm alright. No need to get in my face about it. It was just a moment of shock, okay?

I told them I was fine and made up some excuse that it must have been just a dream. It sure felt like it anyways. I mean, my girlfriend was a Fallen Angel? I still can't wrap my head around that. Well, they accepted my excuse easily and thought to cheer me up by inviting me to Matsuda's for another porn marathon.

"Oh, wait, it's Monday," I dejected with a heavy sigh. "I can't. I've got another session after school."

"Come on, Ise, you can surely ditch one day," complained Matsuda. "Those remedial lessons aren't mandatory, you said."

I looked away in shame. I told them I was taking remedial lessons instead of lectures on how to obtain a girlfriend. I wouldn't know how these two would react if I told them that. I also didn't want to burden Philips-san with anything more than he could handle.

Before we knew it, the day was about to begin. Everyone scurried to their seats just as the teacher strolled in. That professor of ours gave a long yawn with a bored expression. Ick. He smelled heavy of booze. Is it really fine for someone in charge of instructing the youth to be out drinking every night? This guy never takes his job seriously.

"…Oh Angels above," I heard Azu gasp all the way from her spot in the back of the room.

"Quiet down everyone, you know the drill," Azazel-sensei sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't bother to wear a tie again today, not that he ever did in the first place. "Stand, bow, sit, you know all that. Let's get started and get this over with…"

I know I don't pay any attention in classes but can you at least put some enthusiasm in your lectures Azazel-sensei? Maybe then I would start to have decent grades.

"Sensei!" the girl behind me suddenly raised her hand. "It seems my prescription has changed recently. Can I move to the front to see the board?"

Azazel-sensei groaned as he opened the seating chart in his binder and began to make notes. "Yeah, yeah. You're lucky there's a spare. Anyone else have a problem with their seating while we're at it?"

No one else had any complaints, it seems. The girl quickly gathered her things and moved to the front of the class. And then, Azu moved from her spot in the far back to the desk right behind me. She didn't take a seat on the chair though. She sat on the desk directly.

I felt her hands grip on my shoulders.

Uwah. Azazel-sensei was looking my way. What's with this intense pressure? He wasn't looking at me; he was looking behind me where my classmate had previously been. Wait. Did that mean he could see Azu-oneesama?

His eyes narrowed for a moment before he shrugged and began today's lecture.

"Thank you for not looking my way," Azu whispered to me in a low voice. It sounded urgent. "Do not make a fuss. My blessings are still in effect but he will take notice if you do anything. I will tell you everything when we are alone."

I thought about nodding my head but Azazel-sensei continued to glance my way every so often. Like he was watching me. It made me feel very uncomfortable having such an intense stare focused on me. So all I could do was sit still while I listened to his lecture.

But under these conditions I couldn't focus at all. So the entire day blew over my head.

*Scene*

It felt like the life had been sucked out of me.

The day had ended without any incidents. But all day it felt like the teachers were watching me intently. First Azazel-sensei, then Yasaka-sensei, then Leviathan-sensei, and then Tiamat-sensei.

Then again… Tiamat-sensei always looks at me with those eyes. Like she wants to eat me. Not in the hot seductive way either. Like she wants to literally eat me. There are a lot of girls who hate me but Tiamat-sensei hated me since the first day I enrolled in this school. I don't know why. But her stare was twice as fierce today.

"…Things are worse than Father anticipated," Azu said when the last class finished. She always made sure to be sitting near me no matter what class I went to. "To have such a gathering of powerful beings… Just what are you planning Dalang?"

I have no idea who or what that is. Nor what she is talking about. But I can only assume more than half of my teachers were important in the supernatural community.

Man… I kinda wish I didn't learn anything about all this. I want things to go back the way they were before. Ignorance is bliss~

"Hyoudou-san," Tiamat-sensei called out to me before she was about to leave. "You and Takamichi-san are on cleanup duty today. Since you're going to the teacher's lounge, Hyoudou, I suggest you take today's tests there. Be sure to hand them to Rossweisse."

Hey, hey! Don't you think you should be doing your share of the work? These are things you need to grade for your class after all.

As if hearing my thoughts, Tiamat-sensei gave me a cold look that made my body freeze solid. S-So scary. I immediately gathered what was requested of me and headed straight for the teacher's lounge.

Come to think about it… how did she know I would be going there? Normally I go straight to the first-year classrooms and then Philips-san takes me to the teachers' lounge to have Rossweisse assist us.

"The Fallen Governor, the Youkai Matriarch, the Princess of Envy, and the Dragon Queen…?" muttered Azu as she followed me. She was saying something else but I really couldn't hear quite clearly. Nor did I know what she was talking about anyways. It seemed to be bothering her a lot so I made a note to myself to ask her about it when we got home.

"Oh good, you're here," Azazel-sensei said as I was about to open the door. But he did it first and we almost bumped into each other. The guy gave a heavy sigh and rubbed a hand on his forehead. "If it's you then I'm sure you can get them to stop. Please get them to stop. No good will come out of this. We need Rossweisse to finish grading those papers."

Again with Rossweisse-sensei doing all of your work. Can't you guys pull your own weight over here?

And what's this trying to get me doing you a favor?!

"Don't make that face," sighed Azazel-sensei again. "I'm not so mean to forget those who do me favors. I'll make it up to you. Probably. Well, good luck, Hyoudou-san."

He patted my shoulder and departed. I had immediately noticed Azu tensed at the touch.

"Do I…?" she whispered to herself while examining the shoulder the professor touched. "No. It's clearly a trap. If I remove it then he'll know something is up. That man… to go this far with his own student…"

"Huh?" I asked out loud. No one else was around so I think this is fine.

She shook her head. "It's nothing to worry about. Please, continue as you were."

But there was something troubling her. She wasn't smiling like how she normally does and she had her fingers knitted under her chest. She was also staring off down the hallway where Azazel-sensei had left. I wish I knew what went on in her mind. It's not all that fair how she gets to know what goes on in my head but I never know what she's thinking about. Maybe I could be of some help if she let me in. I have a debt to pay to her after all.

I don't have any ulterior motives! I'm not interested in learning her three sizes! Honest!

See! She heard me! Azu turned her head to give me that look. I'm sorry Onee-sama. I can't help myself sometimes.

Not wanting to face that painful look she was giving me, I slipped through the doorway that Azazel left open. I won't say I was shocked by what I was seeing. But it was more like I was confused. I couldn't make any sense about what these two were up to.

"Right, and then by 14:56 you cross over to Shizuku's."

"Yes! And then I leave by 15:00 for the flash sale next door! Meanwhile you leave Mizuki's by 14:55 for the 15:00 bus."

"And then we meet up at Tetiri by 15:15 for the couple's all-you-can-eat cake buffet!"

"B-But what if someone sees?! You and I are teacher and student! This is indecent in every way imaginable!"

"Don't worry. Remember at 12:45 we are to switch costumes and reenter the supermarket for the free samples. No one will recognize us!"

"I see, I see! Yes! I must focus on the prize! I will finally be able to afford to have my first desert in over a year! This could surely work!"

…Philips-san and Rossweisse-sensei were standing in front of a white board and charted some sort of schedule. But it looked like a giant mess of lines that I couldn't understand. They seemed capable of doing so. They were so grossed in their planning that they didn't see me enter.

I see this was what Azazel was talking about. Yeah these two were very cheap and always talking about their financial problems. Philips always got me to pay for some of his meals whenever I got in trouble and he saves me. Apparently something big is going on in the near future in the market area and they were planning to take full advantage of it.

"N-No… Why is he here? He shouldn't be here."

Azu's voice was low. But I felt… something come out of it. Emotion. But something else. Something raw. Something I could feel tingle on the surface of my skin.

"Hey kid," Philips smiled my way as he waved towards me. "There you are. Congratulations! You've successfully completed a whole week without getting into trouble. I also didn't expect to see you today. So hey, tell me about everything. How did the date go?"

It felt like my heart had dropped straight into my stomach. Not just because it forced memories of my girlfriend stabbing me to death. It felt like it dropped because no one had remembered about the Fallen Angel I introduced to everyone. No one should have. Azu had said some magic had been casted by the Fallen to erase everyone's memories.

"Oh, did Hyoudou-san go on a date?" Rossweisse asked skeptically. "Artemis-san, you should have told me these things. It all makes sense now why you needed my help last week. I could have been a better help, you know."

Even Rossweisse forgot the reason why we bothered her while she was still working. Philips-san gave her a strange look before turning back to me.

"I… assumed you went on some date," he said quickly. "Right? That was the reason you asked me to help you, right? Your request was kind of specific."

I don't know what's going on. Philips clearly remembers Yuuma-chan and is making things up to cover for himself. Did he ask these questions because he thought I wouldn't remember her either? Did he have something to do with all of this? Did it have something to do with Azu's reaction just now?

"Hey kid, you alright?" he asked after a moment when I didn't answer him. "Hmm… I guess I was wrong? Alright, I'm sorry about that. Let's work on that. Today we'll focus on you asking someone out to date—"

"Issei, get away from him!" Azu shouted urgently.

I reacted instantly. It felt like something else was controlling my body and I was going along with it. Philips had come close enough to properly greet me. Usually he'll pat my shoulder or give me a friendly jab on my arm. He raised his arm to do just that when Azu-oneesama made me move away.

Philips-san stared at me for a moment. He blinked with clear confusion on his face. "Kid… Hyoudou, what's wrong?"

"Um… t-that is…" I opened my mouth to tell him something, anything, but my mind was drawing a blank. Why did I move away suddenly like this? Only because Azu told me to. I didn't have any other reason.

"Go home," Azu ushered to me. "Now. I can protect you from everyone here but him."

I didn't understand. I really don't understand what's going on right now!

Philips-san continued to stare at me. I must have looked around, maybe towards Azu-oneesama, because his eyes narrowed and tried to follow my gaze.

"Hyoudou-san why don't you sit down? You look pale," Rossweisse moved to one of the desks and pulled out a chair.

"Issei, we need to leave now," Azu urged me. She moved in front of me. She wanted to push me away but refrained from touching me. Probably had something to do with hiding her existence.

I don't think it would do you any good right now, Onee-sama. Philips-san can see you, it seems. He was able to follow you when you moved in front of me. But… with the way his brows were down, he couldn't see clearly. Maybe he just knew you were there and that's it.

"Ise," Azu turned and pleaded with me. She looked desperate. "Listen to me quickly. This man is the worst kind of monster. He is the ultimate enemy of Heaven, one even God Himself cannot defeat. He heralds himself as Godking.

"He is Satan."

…Huh.

So… Philips-san is the Devil Himself, eh?

My girlfriend was a Fallen Angel.

The entire town is infested with monsters.

I go to school with a league of monsters, apparently.

More than half of my teachers are monsters in disguise as well.

And the guy who tried to get me a girlfriend was the Devil.

Yeah, I think I hit my limit of functuality.

Sorry, Onee-sama, but it seems I won't be able to comply with that request.

Because I think I'm going to take a nap instead.

And before I knew it, the world was spinning and quickly turned dark. I think someone caught me. I couldn't tell who. But, ah, the papers I was still holding onto fell out of my hands. They flew everywhere and some of them got crumbled by my body and whoever caught me.

Tiamat-sensei was going to be pretty upset I flunked on the job…