HalfWright here, just going to say briefly that I'm not writing anything major any more, just the occasional oneshot every so often.

To all my friends here on FF, remain awesome.

What am I doing?

What have I become?

Even I don't understand it... time, etcetera and whatnot.

Whatnot - knot.
Knot – Knothole, emphasis on "hole," as in, "asshole."

Fucking horrible place to grow up; dirt, mud, disease, cold, damp filled, asshole forest village known as Knothole; you remember a lot of shit when you're a kid that age, you don't forget the trees, fucking trees where countless numbers of fatty's machines could be hiding behind waiting to massacre everyone, and everyone's all like "oh, save us Sonic and other such freedom fighters, we're all useless faggots and whatnot! But we don't like Fatty's dick up our pooper butt; please save our freedoms so we can just fuck ourselves in the same-sex rectal style!"

The majority of them seeing friends and other assorted close one's getting all robotey-sized and etcetera; fucking whining good for nothing bitches, go suck a fat one you infected whores.

The thought challenges me: did they just not care? Fuck, they were pussies, of course they had feelings; yet could they even organise some type of militia? Bloody pricks, only ever good for farming and chewing a stalk of corn.

At this point you're probably wondering why I'm being a little bitch; and at this very point, I'm wondering why I should even have to cater to your interests; fuck you.

You want truth, Doc?

I feel nothing, I don't give a damn.

And before you say that's wrong and fucking bullshit, it's not. I have no fucking emotion.

No colourful concoction of words to brighten up your miserable day; you faggot.

I can put design plans together, for the most powerful jet in known existence; in mere hours.

Build a super computer in 30 minutes or less, or it's free.

Fuck, I can work out life's little mysteries: the reasoning behind why we exist; why gravity exists, not works, why it exists; even what goes through the mind of god.

Not going to lie or boast, those last few took a while; it was the wake up in the middle of night and couldn't get back to sleep thing really; night after night after night. same bullshit idea, same repetitive thought pattern, same... goddamn shit. Again and again and... once more just for shits and gigs. Fucking sleep man, good night's rest for me is a rarity.

I can figure the craziest shit out. Why can't I figure myself out?

No, what I am is quite simple; I'm just a smartarse.
Sociopathic? Most definitely so... saying it on paper seems so easy.
A cunt? No; no. I find that word is often used by ass-holes and douche-bags, right before they hit someone. Now ask yourself, Do I slap your tittys?
A hero? Some may call me that, maybe I am and maybe I am not. I don't really feel that title is applicable to myself though; I just do what's needed, I don't ask for fame and glory... all that jazz.

What I can't figure out, is why I'm different... I want to end it, my life.

I see no point, it goes nowhere as I wait for something to happen... for the sun to shine.

The sun has to shine one day right?
It never does, of course.
But the sun has to shine one day, right?

I'm forever trapped in my own mind, in my own insecurities, in my own place.

It's dark.

The worst part is that it's just like knothole.

I can see light shining through the canopy, only ever reaching me in the smallest specks.

There has to be a point, hidden amongst it somewhere.

People ask, life, what is the purpose of life? Like it's some kind of universal secret; what will that solve? Them asking that.
I ask, life, why the fuck should I even care, I just exist day in, day out.

This question is difficult to me.

What am I asking, Doctor? Do you know what the answer is?

I've been taking those pills you gave me last time, they help with the sleeping. But not by much, I feel I need something stronger.