Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga or any of the characters' belonging to it. The Twilight Saga in it's entirety belongs rightfully to Stephenie Meyer.

Author's note: I wrote this piece of fiction to explore what would happen if Bella had chosen Jacob over Edward. What would happen if Bella had decided to lift herself out of her depression in New Moon and by doing so, travel down a far healthier path? I've tried to keep Bella's voice as true to the books as possible. Reviews welcome :)

Chapter One - The Cliff

I stepped out to the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it. I drew in a deep breath... And I looked down.

Had I gone insane? Had I finally, finally lost it?

The waves splashed threateningly far below me. Yet, absurdly, I was still tempted to jump. Just to hear his voice again... I could almost hear him already. The way his velvet voice would scold me, how it would order me to stop this madness. Instinctively my body took another step forward.

I froze. Did my own life mean so little to me? Was I really so eager to hurt myself like this? To hurt Charlie? To hurt Jake?

Hadn't I put them through enough?

I hesitated, but still the waves below were dangerously inviting. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I could do this. I could walk away.

I exhaled slowly. "Goodbye, Edward." I whispered to the wind, his name stinging in my throat.

I pulled myself away then and stumbled blindly to my truck. My hands were shaking when I put the keys in the ignition. I drove down the path with tears brimming in my eyes. The hole inside me ached but I ignored it.

I don't know how long it took me to get home. I don't remember getting out of my truck, or flinging myself on the bed - but that's where I was when Jacob found me.

"Bells? Honey?" He murmured, shaking my shoulder. "Are you okay?" He asked, his voice filled with concern.

Suddenly I was sick of everyone being so concerned about me all the time.

"Yes. Yes I am." I said as brightly as I could. "What about you? Is everything alright?"

Jake hesitated, he glanced nervously at the floor. "We lost her. She took off into the water - the bloodsuckers have the advantage there. I went looking for you at the beach, you spend so much time there..." He trailed off and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God you were here though!"

I smiled feebly back at him but my mind was back to looking over at the waves again.

She took off into the water...

My heart turned to ice in my chest. If I had jumped I would have made it all too easy for her. A shiver crawled up my spine, I shuddered and Jake noticed - the way he noticed everything - his face burrowed into a frown.

"Bells, are you sure you're okay?" He said.

I nodded frantically, wiping a tear from my cheek. "I'm just incredibly lucky, that's all."

Jake took my hand reassuringly and then he cleared his throat, "I have some bad news though Bella."

I sat up straighter. Immediately paying attention.

"It's Harry Clearwater. Harry had a heart attack this morning."

"Harry?" I shook my head, trying to absorb what he was saying. "Oh no! Does Charlie know?"

"Yeah. He's over there, too, with my dad."

"Is Harry going to be okay?"

Jacob's eyes tightened. "It doesn't look so great right now."

I felt sick to the stomach. And to think, I had almost jumped off a cliff this afternoon! I tried to imagine what would have happened if I had...how much more Charlie would have to worry about. What a stupid time to be reckless.

"What can I do?" I asked.

Outside the rain thundered and the rain pounded harder on the roof.

"You can stay here." Jacob said decidedly. "I don't think Charlie would appreciate it if you went driving out into the middle of a hurricane."

I said nothing, Jacob was right. I didn't need to cause Charlie any more concern. I would simply prepare some food and make the house comfortable for when he returned.

From in front of me Jacob stood up and stretched.

"Wait, you're not leaving, are you?" I asked.

"Victoria's still out there, Bells. We still need to patrol, protect the borders."

"Do you really think she'll try something tonight? In the middle of this storm?"

Jacob paused for a moment before replying, clearly in thought. "I guess not..."

"Then stay here." I said.

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "But Charlie..."

"Charlie loves you." I cut in. "Besides, I'll make up a bed for you on the sofa."

I could tell from the look in his eyes, he was tempted. For a brief second I felt a pang of guilt.

"Well..." He said slowly, "It would be easier to protect you if I'm only a few rooms away."

He smiled his sunny smile, my smile. "Okay then."

I felt relief flood through me. Jake would be staying the night, I wondered briefly if having him here would help keep the nightmares away. The same way he seemed to help with everything else.

I shook away the thought.

As Jake went outside to let the rest of his pack know where he would be, I busied myself with setting up his sofa-bed and cleaning the kitchen. By the time he got back I had already started making some lasagna.

"Wow, Bella! That smells good." Jake said as he wandered back into the kitchen.

"It's Charlie's favourite." I replied.

Jacob chatted affably away as I pottered around the kitchen, although I knew he was just as worried about Charlie's return as I was. Still, it was nice to hear Jacob talk, he had a knack for making any dull topic interesting. He discussed school, the pack, the motorbikes...there was no subject off limits to Jacob. I listened intently, enjoying the passion and enthusiasm that he managed to put into every word.

Then we heard Charlie's car in the driveway.

Charlie trudged slowly up the walk, his eyes on the ground and his shoulders slumped. I knew then that the worst had happened. I walked forward to meet him; he didn't even see me until I hugged him around the waist. He embraced me back fiercely.

"I'm so sorry about Harry, Dad."

"I'm really going to miss him." He mumbled.

I didn't know what to say to that, so I let him pass me and into the house. He didn't seem too surprised to see Jake there. But I saw his eye twitch a little when he saw the blankets on the sofa.

"I hope you don't mind, but I invited Jake to stay tonight." I said quietly.

Charlie made an attempt at a smile. "Sure kid, you know you're always welcome here. Does Billy know?"

Jake nodded solemnly.

Soon the three of us were in the kitchen eating dinner, and Jake and Charlie reminisced about Harry. Charlie spoke at length of their fishing trips together, Jake remembered the year that Harry had dressed up as Santa for Christmas and how all the kids knew it was him. I watched the two of them raise their glasses to Harry Clearwater. I raised my glass too, even though I knew I did not share even a fraction of their grief. Again I found myself glad that Jacob was here, to help Charlie with his mourning. Jacob could always find some light in the dark...

Hours passed and eventually Charlie went to bed. I knew that I should follow suit, my eyes were barely staying open as it was. Jake made himself comfortable - or as comfortable as possible - on the sofa, and I had to suppress a smile when I saw just how far his legs dangled off the edge.

Be happy. A voice whispered in my head.

I froze.

But the voice, the impossibly perfect voice, had gone.