Divergent oneshot
I sat down at the table with my family: My husband, Andrew; my 12-year-old daughter Beatrice; and my 12-year-old son, Caleb. I served the usual meal-plain chicken breasts with a thin gravy, and mashed potatoes. We all ate silently, as usual. Why? Why didn't we speak at all with each other? The other members of our families? Every other family is the same; same houses, same meals, same clothing. I couldn't believe I had lasted this long in Abnegation.
When I realized I hadn't eaten yet, i hurriedly cut my chicken and chewed it slowly, wishing that it just had a little more flavor, wishing for it to be the one thing that would make life interesting. As I scooped up the rest of my potatoes, I realized that Beatrice had hardly eaten. I decided to break the silence.
"Beatrice?" I ask, looking at her. She looks up, surprised.
"Yes, mother?" She replies slowly.
"Are you going to eat your food?" I ask gently. She looks at her plate like it has dirt on it instead of food. Actually, that's how I think of it, too. I smile inwardly. Beatrice shrugs.
"Do you want me to save it for tomorrow?" I ask, and she nods. I stand up, bringing both my clean plate and her full one to the kitchen. I put hers in the fridge and mine in the sink. Luckily, it's Caleb's turn to do the dishes, not Beatrice's. Caleb soon follows me into the room with his plate and Andrew's, and begins to wash them in the sink. I walk back to the dining room to see that my daughter has already left the table. Andrew has opened his newspaper, and I ask him where Beatrice is.
"Upstairs. She said she had to do some work for school." He answers, and goes back to his paper. I go upstairs and knock on her door. I open it to see Beatrice curled in a ball on the floor. I hurry over and kneel down beside her.
"Honey? Beatrice, what's wrong?" I ask worriedly. She looks like she's about to cry.
"I-I don't know mommy" she says, and I can tell she is scared. She hasn't called me that since she was seven.
"Please tell me, Beatrice" I plead. She squirms uncomfortably.
"Well…I was at school today, and…I think there's something wrong with me." She finishes quickly and cringes. "But I didn't want to tell the teacher or anyone because I didn't want to be selfish."
"What do you mean? Are you hurt?" She shrugs.
"A little, I think. My stomach hurts and I'm not hungry. And I-I'm…" she trails off.
"You're what, honey?"
"I'm…bleeding." Suddenly, I realize what has happened.
"Oh, my baby" I say, and hug her tightly. "You're growing up faster than I thought." She is confused, so I pull away and look at her. "Why don't we go to my bathroom?" She nods. I help her up, and we walk down the hall to the bedroom that I share with my husband. I lead her into the bathroom, and she sits down on the toilet. I open the cupboard under the sink and pull out a box. I turn back to her. "Can you…take off your pants and underwear, please?" She slowly does as I ask, drawing her legs together self-consciously. I look at her underwear and sigh. "We're going to have to buy some more of those" I say.
"Mom? What's happening?" She says, confused.
"Did they not tell you about this in school?" I ask, surprised. She shakes her head and I sigh. "Well, you know how babies are made, right?" She nods. "Well, to prepare for having a baby, a girl will do this a few days every month. It's called a period." Now she looks like she remembers what I'm talking about.
"Oh, yeah…I think our science teacher mentioned that. But I didn't know when it would happen."
"I know, Beatrice. It comes when you least expect it. But now, when it comes, you will learn how to be prepared." I hold up the box. "These are pads. Do you know how they work?" She shrugs. "Just put one on your underwear, and change it after about every three or four hours, or until you think it is going to bleed through to your underwear. It looks like you are pretty light now, so you should be fine. Okay?"
"I'm scared, mom" she whispers.
"I know, honey. But now that you know, it will get better. This just means that you are growing from a little girl to a mature woman." She nods. I pick up her underwear and drop it in the trash. "Stay right here" I say, and hurry back to her room to get her a clean pair. I open her drawer, and as I pull one out, I spot something. A book. But not just any book- a diary. I discover this fact as I quickly flip through it. I smile at the thoughts that she has written on the pages.
"Mrs. Monroe was really annoying today. She partnered me with Jacob, and I had to sit as he read his passage of the textbook slower than I though humanly possible. His parents are both transfers from Amity, so maybe that's why he can't read very well. Anyway, after that, I noticed Wendy pass a note to Ethan as we read silently. Usually, I don't pay attention to other people, because I love reading. I could read forever if class didn't have to end :(. But I noticed because, well, sometimes I like to just sit and watch Ethan while pretending to read. I don't really know why. He's just…different. He has light brown hair and blue eyes, and he's really funny. He's also popular and smart. All the girls like him…maybe I do, too"
Maybe my little girl isn't so bland after all, I think, as I walk back to the bathroom. After I get her situated, I tell her that I will buy her her own pads (and some new underwear) tomorrow. It's already getting dark, so we all get ready for bed. As I lay down with Andrew, I tell him what happened, excluding the diary. After I tell him, he falls asleep quickly. I lay back and wait for sleep to come over me. But it doesn't. Instead, I hear the sound of footsteps heading down the dark hallway. I sit up and look towards the door as it opens slowly.
"Mom?" Beatrice whispers quietly. I push off the covers and walk over to her.
"Yes, Beatrice? Are you doing okay?" She shakes her head.
"I know I'm being selfish, but my stomach really hurts." She says.
"Follow me" I say, and lead her downstairs to the kitchen. I turn on a light and quietly grab a saucepan. I turn the stove on and fill the pot with water. I let the water heat up as I reach down into a cupboard. I pull out a metal water bottle and place it by the stove. When the water gets hot, I carefully pour it into the bottle and hand it to Beatrice. "Here. Rest that on your stomach when you're in bed." She stares at me with wide eyes. Suddenly, she whispers,
"I'm not going to stay in Abnegation, am I?" I stare back, shocked.
"Why are you asking me?" I reply. "Why are you thinking about this?"
"I-I know I don't fit in here. I try to be selfless, but it's too hard. I don't want to leave you and Caleb and Dad, but I don't think I can stay." Now she looks upset again. I bend down until my eyes are level with hers.
"Beatrice Prior. You know that we all want you to be happy. And if that means switching factions, then I don't mind, as long as you are happy. And you know what?" I lower my voice to a whisper. "I think that Abnegation food tastes like dirt, too." She chuckles, and I smile slightly. "I bet Candor has better food" I say, and she wrinkles her nose and shakes her head.
"Nah. I couldn't go there. I could never tell the truth all the time."
"What? You mean you lie to me sometimes?" I say teasingly.
"No! I'm just saying!" I smile.
"I know, honey. How about Erudite? You're smart, and you like to read a lot at school…" Beatrice gasps.
"Hey! Did you read my diary?" She accuses. I shrug.
"I flipped through it when I found it in your underwear drawer. But no, I didn't read a lot of it. You're allowed to have privacy." I say. "Plus, it was good to know that I'm not the only one who thinks that Dauntless is cool." I add.
"Really? You think Dauntless is cool?"
"Yeah. Dangerous, but way more exciting than Abnegation." I wink. "Their initiation is really tough. Lots of transfers don't survive." She yawns in the middle of my sentence and I realize that it's getting late. I guide her up to bed, and I sit next to her for a minute, stroking her hair as she drifts off to sleep. Right before she does, she murmurs:
"Mom, why do you know so much about Dauntless?" But it's too late. She's asleep. I kiss her forehead gently and leave the room. Is it too much to hope that she is not Divergent? If so, where will she go? I realize that I won't know until the Choosing Ceremony whether she will stay or leave. But if she is Divergent, I swear to god that I will keep her safe. Whatever the cost.