The Night of the Problem with James West

Chapter 1

The Other Story

The boys were enjoying an after dinner smoke, on a sofa, hidden away from the rest of the attendees, at a White House reception, being held in honour of a British dignitary and his entourage. That reminded James West of something.

"That reminds me of something," Jim said, taking a puff on his cigar.

"What's that?" Artie asked absent-mindedly, enjoying the fact that they weren't on duty at this particular function, so were free to relax.

"When you came back from England, you said they gave you a desk job but you never said what it was. Isn't it time you told me?"

"Oh, you wouldn't find it at all interesting," Artie said, suddenly very interested in his boots.

"Then why did you say 'that's another story'? That implies there was a story to be told, so come on, spit it out!"

"Honestly, Jim, I don't want to bore you with the dull things I did back then."

"Then you shouldn't have mentioned it."

"I'm beginning to wish I hadn't." Artie puffed harder on his cigar, a clear sign to his partner that he was agitated.

"Did it involve me, is that why you won't talk about it?

"Aw Jim, you do this every time. It's like you have a crystal ball or something."

"So it did involve me," Jim said, pleased at having his guess confirmed, but then suddenly worried. "They weren't questioning my loyalty, were they?"

"No, no, it wasn't that..." The sentence trailed off and now Artie had stopped smoking and was looking at his cigar, as if trying to make up his mind about something.

"You'd better tell me," Jim said, "otherwise I'm just going to imagine it to be worse than it was. Also, I'm not going to let up on you until you do."

"Alright, but you're not going to like it."

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Artie had only been back in Washington a week or so when he was invited to lunch by Colonel Richmond. He was not too pleased by this honour, even though it would mean a free meal at one of the best restaurants, because he had already arranged to eat with one of the local beauties. However, he smiled and accepted and so found himself sitting at a table with his superior, taking in the sight of a familiar place, after his recent sojourn across the Atlantic.

The two men had settled back in their seats to digest the delicious meal they had just eaten, coffee cups in front of them and cigars in their hands.

"Thank you, Colonel," Artie said, "that was delicious."

"Yes, I must remember to send our compliments to the chef."

"Tell me, Sir, why did you bring me here?"

"I want your opinion on a matter," Richmond said. Artie sensed reluctance on his part to elaborate.

"Couldn't we have discussed this in your office?"

"Due to the nature of the problem, I thought a relaxed atmosphere would be the best setting."

"Problem? Now I'm intrigued and a little worried." Artie laughed.

Richmond took a sip of coffee. "It involves James West," he said.

There was silence for a moment and then Artie said anxiously, "What's wrong, is he in trouble? He's not dead is he? Good God, tell me?" There was panic in his voice.

"No, no, nothing like that," Richmond assured him. "West is fine. As far as I know he's safe and sound on the Wanderer."

"Thank God for that. Then how does this problem involve him?"

"I've read in between the lines of your reports, Artemus, and it seems to me that females play quite a large part in a lot of your assignments. That's all very well but, knowing West's reputation with the ladies, I'm worried that he's allowing himself to be diverted and it's leading him, and also you, into trouble."

"Sir, I think you're being unfair," Artie said. "Nine times out of ten the success of a mission, involving a woman relies on Jim's rapport with her."

"It's alright, Artemus, I expect you to defend him, and you may be correct. However, if there's even a chance that his dalliances are jeopardising his work then I need to do something about it."

"What are you going to do? He doesn't even have to lift a finger to attract females. They're like bees round a honey-pot where he's concerned."

"I am aware of that. After all, I've known him a long time. I was hoping you could somehow take on any females, when necessary and prevent any unnecessary association."

"How am I supposed to do that? Jim's in charge of our assignments. I don't have the authority to tell him what to do."

"In that case, I may have to put you in charge."

"I'm surprised that you'd think I want that. Anyway, you can't do that to Jim."

"I can. I'll have a word with West."

"No, look, why don't you let me investigate and wait until I've given you my report? Then you can speak to Jim, if it's warranted."

"All right, as I said, I'm willing to believe I'm wrong."

Artie stood up. "If you'll excuse me, Sir, I'd like to get to work on it right away."

Richmond nodded in acknowledgement and Artie turned and left the restaurant.

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Going back through his old reports, Artie realised he didn't have all of the information about the assignments he had shared with his friend James West. He really needed his notes as well. As a matter of delicacy, not everything went into the official reports. Sometimes, as in the case of the time travelling Colonel Vautrain, it had been best to sidestep the truth altogether.

Luckily, the Wanderer was in Washington, undergoing maintenance, so it was easy for Artie to gain access to the cabinet, in his sleeping quarters, which contained all of his notes. It was wonderful to be back on their beloved train again. He just hoped that things would be the same between him and James when he finally returned there, after his time in Washington.

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