DISCLAIMER: I claim no ownership of the television series Smallville. Smallville is the property of Warner Bros. Entertainment and the CW Television Network. No profit is being made in the making of this review, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Topic: Episode Review

Reviewed Episode: The Smallville Season 10 Premiere: "Lazarus."

Reviewer: Dark Onyx

Dedication: This chapter, and every following chapter, is dedicated to both Jimmy Olsen and my deceased grandfather Andre. Rest in Peace. The both of you will be dearly missed.

"THE SMALLVILLE SEASON TEN PREMIERE: LAZARUS."

Welcome one, welcome all, to my review of Smallville's Season 10 premiere. As I'm sure at least a few of you know, I'm not quite a newbie at reviewing episodes of this series. If you check my profile, you'll see that I've already written exactly one review for the Season 8 finale "Doomsday." Suffice to say, that episode is my absolute least favorite Smallville episode of all time. But despite my feelings on that episode (or Season 8 in general, for that matter) I'm coming into this episode and Season with no hard feelings. So, ladies and gentlemen, sit back, relax, grab some popcorn and kiss your lady, because this is gonna be a bumpy ride! May I present to you all my review of the Smallville Season 10 Premiere Episode "Lazarus."

REVIEW

Our episode opens with the scene of Clark plummeting towards the ground at an extraordinarily fast rate. The gateway opened by the Book of Rao has spontaneously closed in on itself, apparently sealing the gateway and returning the sky to its normal hue. Clark hits the ground with a rather sickening THUNK. If you remember, the Blue Kryptonite dagger is still embedded in his torso, so in all likelihood, he's not getting up anytime soon.

Lois runs over to him out of nowhere, finding Clark (who is AMAZINGLY still in one piece) lying "dead" on the street. She puts her head on his chest to check and see if he has a heartbeat, but before we can receive complete confirmation on whether or not he has one, we switch scenes.

Clark in lying in grass, looking quite good for somone who just feel a hundred stories. Seriously, he looks great. His hair's gratuitously styled, his mortal and bloody wounds are all gone, and he's waling around as if he just got up from a comfy little nap. I know, I know, real world logic doesn't apply in life-or-death situations such as these, but still: I bet I wouldn't look half as good in his place. The tosser.

He gets up from his lying position and begins to look around. He seems to be in a cornfield. He looks understandably confused at this, but his confusion turns to alarm when he looks around and sees the surreal, blue-green sky. Cautiously, he begins to walk forwards into the field.

He comes to a small clearing, one that should look familiar to anyone who has seen the Smallville pilot. Right in the middle of the clearing is a wooden cross, on which are a pack of ravens. The ravens fly off ominously (I swear to God one of them flipped him the bird) and in a flash of green light, a tombstone appears a few feet away from him on his left-hand side.

Clark looks over to inspect it. The first name is covered up by a convenient patch of grass, but the name "Kent" can be clearly seen. Suddenly, big daddy douche Jor-El begins to speak.

Clark asks Jor-El if he's dead. Jor-El responds by saying that he's simply teetering on the abyss between our world and the afterlife. Clark walks over to get a better look at the grave, believing it's Jonathan's. He brushes the grass aside and it is revealed that the grave isn't Jonathan's - it's Clark's.

Spooky.

Clark refuses his death, but he looks noticeably shaken. Jor-El comments that since Clark allowed himself to be killed, he left the humans vulnerable to future evil. Clark refutes Jor-El's accusations, mentioning that he left the JLA/JSA behind to protect us. Jor-El scoffs at this, basically saying that Clark is the world's only hope.

Clark asks Jor-El to send him back. I think it's worth mentioning that I became slightly worried at this. As most of you know, the last time that Jor-El brought Clark back from the edge of death, another life was taken in return for his. The circumstances were admittedly a little different back then, but we all know that Jor-El isn't one to split hairs. The point is, if I were Clark, I would have been just a little bit more cautious in asking Jor-El to send me back.

Jor-El began to get angry. He claims that Clark actually denied his destiny once again by choosing the "martyr's path" and isn't sure if Clark even deserves another chance at life. Clark angrily claims that he knows his fate and smashes the tombstone. Thunder begins to boom, and then all of a sudden, everything goes silent. Jor-El has left the building.

A man in white steps out into the field. He's bald and his face is hidden by the glow of the sun. It's Lex. Both he and Clark disappear, one after the other, in a flash of green light.

We cut back to Lois, who is still hanging over Clark's body. She has (for whatever reason) pulled out the Blue Kryptonite dagger. She tosses it far away from Clark, and almost instantly, he begins to stir. She gets up a slips behind a convenient curtain. She watches Clark stand up and look to the sky (did I mention it's morning now all of a sudden?), the rain washing off all that icky blood. His wounds heal themselves and he speeds away.

Question: now that Clark has his powers back, shouldn't he have been sucked into the gateway? I know I mentioned that the gateway closed in on itself as Clark was plummeting, and if we're speaking logically, then that would be because all of the super-powered Kryptonians on Earth had been sucked sent into the new world. However: the Book of Rao is still in the console, and it has never once been said that it would "deactivate" after it "succeeded" in zapping all of the Kryptonians to the new world. Since no evidence to the contrary has ever been revealed or implied, I'm going to have to call this a plot hole.

Clark also left the Book in the console at the top of the tower, where anyone could theoretically retrieve it. That's a second plot hole.

We cut now to the Watchtower. Chloe bursts through the double doors and pulls up the video file she's just collected of the incident with Oliver. Just before the video ends, a man appears where Oliver once was, claiming that he was "coming for all of them."

With a determined look on her face, Chloe walks over to a desk drawer and pulls out a golden key. Just as she's about to go out and put it to good use, Clark super-speeds in out of nowhere.

I'm sorry, but I have to ask: how the heck is Clark able to just come in like that? As we've seen in a previous episode (Sacrifice, if memory serves me right) the only way to gain access into the main area is to take the elevator, which Clark obviously doesn't do. We have no idea if stairs exist in the Watchtower, but I'm going to assume that they do. So my question is this: just how exactly are the stairs of the Watchtower protected?

If Clark could just waltz into the Tower whenever he wanted, doesn't it stand to reason that the Kandorians could have done so just as easily last season? To my knowledge, Watchtower is neither shielded with lead nor is made out of building material that would have somehow block even Clark's ears. If one of the Kandorians had been even mildly interested in finding and/or infiltrating the Tower, then by all means, it looks like they could have easily done so. Shouldn't the place be a bit more fortified than that?

One could argue that Chloe has cameras up and running around each and every stair level, but when we're dealing with Kryptonians, that's a very moot point.

(I realize this has nothing to do with the episode, and I'm not taking any points off for this observation.)

Clark and Chloe embrace. Chloe is shocked that Clark is still on Earth. Clark vaguely describes what happened with him and Jor-El, and Chloe immediately asks if Jor-El specifically identified the new evil he spoke of. Clark quickly mentions his brief sighting of Lex. He also reveals Dr. Fate's prediction about his and Lex's interconnected destinies.

Clark and Chloe begin to speculate on if Lex is truly alive and Clark guesses that he is maybe hiding out at one of his old research facilities. Chloe goes over to one of her computers (her electric bill must be crazy) and begins to dig of files on some of Lex's old projects. Chloe insists that every one of Lex's projects are dead. Clark presses the issue, pointing out that he could have perhaps revived a project from many years ago, when there "wasn't much digital record to track."

Chloe suggests that he go check out the archives at the Daily Planet to see if there was a story out there that could give them proper information. I'm going to assume that this is a diversionary tactic to get Clark to leave, since Chloe could very easily access the archives from her Watchtower computers.

After Clark exits, Chloe walks out of Watchtower.

Cut to the Daily Planet archives. Lois is looking through old "Torch" articles. She (through Smallville's signature miraculous leaps of logic) figures out that she's the last one to find out Clark's secret. Clark (sporting some new duds) walks in just as Lois rises to leave.

He's startled to see her, thinking that she'd be in Africa by now. She claims she "postponed" her trip and goes to hug him. Clark spots old newspaper headings detailing the Blur's heroics and questions her motivations. She confirms his suspicions and mentions the kiss. Clark looks uncomfortable at first, but at Lois' mention of just how fan-tabulous-ly awesome it was, he looks quite proud of himself.

Clark mentions that it was quite bold of the Blur to just kiss her like that. Lois wonders if being all dark and mysterious is a fetish of the Blur's. Naturally, this wipes the smile off Clark's face.

Lois (chipper) asks if there's a reason Clark was down in the archives. He responds that he's on a tight deadline and noticeably glances at the file cabinets across the room. Seeing this, Lois "accidentally" drops her pen. She (rather unconvincingly, I'd say) pretends to look for it. Even Clark notices how odd Lois is being ("Where are you pen?") but decides to brush it off. For reasons I can't fathom, Clark used his super-speed to zoom right across the room to grabs the file he needs.

You could argue that Lois wasn't trying to be convincing here, and I would agree with you. However, I would like to point out that she was really, really obvious about what she was trying to do. Wouldn't Clark have normally vocally questioned her odd behavior? I recognize that he was in a hurry (which is why points aren't being taken; and besides, this was hilarious, and not meant to be taken so seriously) but still, that's never stopped him before.

Clark makes up a customary crappy excuse for finding the file so fast and prepares to leave. Lois mentions that they need to have a talk. They agree to meet at the barn later on that night and Clark exits.

Who reading this actually thought that Clark would make it to the meeting?

No one? No? Didn't think so.

Clark looks through the file while simultaneously conversing with Chloe on his cell. He mentions CADMUS Labs was a place that was previously linked to LuthorCorp that wasn't in her files, and because of that, he needs her to look up the address for him. You'd think it'd have been in the article itself, considering its apparently small link to LuthorCorp was big enough to make the paper, but I digress.

Chloe can't do that, she says, because she isn't at Watchtower. The camera pans back to reveal to us that she is at the JSA's mansion. A voice begins to speak.

I couldn't make out a lot of the words, but I know I heard "…foolish girl" and "not chosen." It became obvious to me then and there that the one speaking was the Helmet of Nabu.

Clark, alarmed, demands to know where Chloe is. Chloe apologizes for what she's about to do, and hangs up on him.

After five seconds, I began to wonder if Clark really cared where she was.

Come on. The guy has super-speed, super-hearing, and X-Ray vision. If he wanted to, he could find Chloe in seven seconds, at the most. The fact that he didn't use his abilities to find her suggests that he either doesn't really care or that the writing is inconsistent. I'll take the second option for 300.

Chloe unlocks the case the Helmet was in and picks it up slowly. At this point, I asked myself: "Why the f*ck did the JSA leave the Helmet unattended?" Seriously. There is no one there. Any old fool could just walk right in and steal it. You could argue that the Helmet would always find its way back to the mansion if it was stolen by someone who wasn't "chosen" but the fact stands that the Helmet can either drive someone insane or transform them into an incredibly dangerous individual. Every member of the JSA knows this, so what could possibly possess them to leave it alone? That just doesn't make any sense.

And for that matter, who the Hell decided it was a good idea to give Chloe the key to unlock the case?

Anyway, Chloe picks up the Helmet and asks it where Oliver is. The Helmet asks if she would sacrifice herself to save him. It doesn't give her a chance to answer; it swallows her face and bombards her with visions, visions that we do not see.

Clark, several minutes too late, speeds into the mansion. The Helmet is off of Chloe's face and is lying near her arm. She's unconscious and doesn't look very good.

We cut, to my dismay, to Smallville's weekly dose of homo erotica.

We see Oliver, in a dark room, blindfolded. His chest is bare and he's chained to a chair and there's another grown man standing over him, pounding on his already battered body. Yeah…there's absolutely no hidden subtext there at all.

Oliver, ever the wise-cracker, shoots a witty retort at his captor. The captor thinks it's fit Ollie can't see him since the world is now half-blind because of the symbols that had been carved into it's greatest monuments. He also brings up the fact that all the satellites of the Earth had been shut down - except for Ollie's.

The captor reveals he knows that Oliver's satellite was tracking the Kandorians. He also mentions that the Blur is another person of interest, seeing as how his "dot" matched the Kandorians'. What the captor wants to know is Ollie's connection to the situation.

Ollie refuses to answer the question, but instead declares himself a good guy. After he gets smart again, the captor dishes out more punishment.

By the way: Oliver's scar - the one that Zod burned onto his chest - is missing. And for the record, I feel that these scenes of Oliver getting tortured were a real waste of time. It didn't give us much valuable information on either his captor or their true motives, so it was basically just taking up space. I understand that it was necessary to resolve the issue of who took Oliver last episode, but they could have solved that problem by ending it with us seeing the captor's face on Chloe's monitor and picking up on that and the end of this episode and continuing on it in later episodes.

These torture scenes felt like they came from a completely different show. In fact, while watching them, I had to ask myself what Oliver is still doing on the show. In my opinion, he should have long since left for Star City.

I enjoy Oliver's character and I think he's a good guy, but if he's only part of the show right now to continue to go behind Clark's back and just be Chloe's is he/isn't he boyfriend, then I'm afraid the writers are wasting our, their, and Just Hartley's time.

We cut to a lab. The camera pans up to reveal a sleeping Tess. She wakes and seems confused about her current whereabouts. After she turns, we see that there's something on her face. She hops off the makeshift bed she was sleeping on and runs over to examine herself. She removes the plastic covering her face, revealing that it has been completely healed.

It's revealed that she's in CADMUS Labs. Throwing on a convenient robe, Tess begins to explore. She leaves her room and goes into another, one filled with several deformed clones of Lex. She pulls out a convenient security card from her robe and swipes it in its appropriate spot, opening a door and revealing to us a red-headed little boy.

Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Alexander.

Alexander and Tess explore the place, hand-in-hand. Alexander reveals to Tess that the deformed clones are his "brothers." Tess figures out that all of them (including Alexander) had been engineered from Lex's DNA. Alexander tells Tess that they were all created to heal the "Creator" as they had healed Tess.

Alexander goes on to say that a lot of the clones either came out sick or aged too fast. Suddenly, there's a banging on a door. Tess (for some dumbass reason) opens it.

A hand reaches out and grabs Tess from behind. The one who grabbed her is tall and bald, obviously another clone of Lex. The clone (who will be henceforth referred to as Fake Lex, or "Flex") says her name, and they stop struggling.

At Tess' questioning, Flex reveals that he has all of Lex's memories up to the point where he was blown up in the truck. Flex gets a nosebleed out of nowhere; clearly, he's imperfect.

Tess uses the opportunity to fight him off, commanding Alexander to run away. Flex once again gets the upper hand and knocks Tess to the ground. Claiming that there can only be only Lex Luthor, he sets the lab on fire.

Cut to the Watchtower. Emil is there, his equipment all set up. Pushing Clark out of the way, he begins to examine Chloe. He comes to conclusion that her body is acting as if it has gone through massive trauma. Clark bends down to talk to her, and just like magic, Chloe wakes up right then and there.

…really?

Are they serious? That has got to be the most cliché thing they have ever done. And that's saying a lot.

Chloe, out of breath, reveals that she saw Ollie's location when she put on Fate's Helmet. Deflecting Clark's question on where he is exactly, she brings to his attention what she saw of him in her vision. He was a great hero, the best, and he wasn't wearing black. Almost off-handedly, she informs him of the ruination of CADMUS Labs. She urges him to go there, despite the fact that it was mentioned just a few minutes ago that he doesn't know where it is.

You could make the argument that he found its location during the time between Chloe put on the Helmet and him finding her, but I don't think that Clark would just leave her alone like that.

You could also say that Clark could have sped off to a computer to find some info. That doesn't work for two reasone. One...he's in the freakin' Watchtower. Two: Chloe made it sound as if he needed to get ther now, so stopping somewhere to gain the necessary info would be a big no-no. And besides: he's in the freakin' Watchtower. I can't stress that enough. If he didn't know where to go, he should have used the Watchtower's computers. And there's no way he could have known where to go beforehand, so him automatically showing up at CADMUS makes no sense.

Continuity is a real bitch, isn't it?

We cut to the barn. It's nighttime now. Clark should have used Watchtower's computers.

Lois is pacing and comes across the package Martha Kent left for Clark in Salvation. Curious, she opens it. And, for the first time, we see the Superman suit.

It's wrapped in red cloth. Lois gently pulls it aside to reveal the symbol of the House of El emblazoned on a blue shirt. The design is identical to the top half of the Superman Returns suit.

Lois rewraps the suit as she hears someone ascend the steps. Just as she turns around to greet Clark - Flex pimp smacks her across the face with a pole.

Flex is totally a pimp. And now he has a fancy black trench coat to show it. Say it with me: bad...ass.

We cut to CADMUS Labs, extra crispy. Clark walks in and sees all the dead clones. I wonder how the clones got set on the fire in the first place, seeing as how they were in water the entire time.

Clark walks into the other room to see Tess. For some reason, neither she nor the area she's in has been harmed by the fire, despite the fact that it's pretty well known that fire very easily spreads. She obviously didn't put it out, and I doubt Flex would readily have the means to stop the fire once it destroyed all of the clones, so, again, we have a plot hole.

Clark cautiously approaches Tess, asking who set the lab on fire. She reveals to him about Lex's plan to harvest the clones' organs and tells him about Flex. Clark releases her from where she had been tied and begins to walk away. Tess stops him, telling him that Flex had left a message (which is apparently the only reason why she was "allowed" to live). She tells him that Flex is waiting for him at Lawson's Field (the place where Lex rescued Clark for the first time).

It's about to go down.

We cut to a clearing Lawson's Field. Lois has been tied to a wooden cross and a red "S" has been painted onto the front of her shirt.

Okay, seriously, I have to call foul on this. I had to sit and watch Tom Welling stripped down to his undies, but Erica Durance gets to keep both her pants and her shirt on? That's bull.

Flex walks out and begins taunting her. I have to say: the guy who played Flex, Mackenzie Gray, bears a startling resemblance to Lord Voldemort. That adds extra points to his evil-o-meter.

It's through this taunting that Lois figures out that the creepy bald dude who dragged her unconscious body into a field and tied to a cross was Lex Luthor. She's suitably horrified.

Flex chuckles at her horror and tells her that she is Clark's - the Blur's - greatest weakness. Just before leaving her to go meet Clark, he sets the field ablaze.

Question: if all of Flex's memories are only of what happened up to the time Lex died, then why in the world is he going after Lois in the first place? He wants to destroy Clark emotionally, to break him. Wouldn't Martha Kent be a more logical choice, especially seeing as how he's had hours to come up with his scheme? Lex most likely couldn't have found out that Lois and Clark had gotten together in the last two years because of the sheer attention his plan needed (which I will go into more detail about later.) And even if he could have, they've only been together for one year, and he certainly would not know any of the specifics of their relationship. So I ask again: wouldn't Martha have been a better choice?

Before we go on, I have to admit: however objective I am of Flex's plan, I have to admit: he is awesome. He can do all the things the real Lex could have done, and the best part is, he does it with that Lex-y style. This guy's no Rosenbaum, but he is undeniably one bad motha -

We cut to Flex, waiting patiently in a different part of the field. Clark speeds up to him, dressed in his Blur attire. Clark looks unimpressed with Flex and demands to know where the real Lex is.

Flex reveals that the "Creator" died two years ago. The two begin to speak about the very first time Clark saved Lex's life.

Flex begins to taunt Clark, claiming that he has become arrogant. He claims that there is darkness in Clark's heart.

Flex comments that Clark is just like him.

Rightfully angry, Clark refutes this. Unperturbed, Flex continues to ridicule Clark, saying to him that he has brought on death and destruction. Clark grabs Flex angrily and all but slams him onto the ground. He's choking him, and he doesn't look like he has any intention of stopping. However, when Flex's nose begins to bleed, he finally lets up.

Flex reveals to us that he is dying. He expresses regret that he won't live to see the world turn on Clark. Clark orders Flex to tell him what he has done. Flex tells Clark that an explosion will soon rock the DP, and the giant globe at the top will fall onto the rush hour traffic. As Clark stands to take care of the explosion, Flex calls him back, giving him the second option to save Lois from the fire he caused.

I'll say it again: Flex should not know that Lois is the love of his life.

Let's go over his plan and see if we cna come up with a better one, shall we?

Flex's plan is simple: Clark must let himself be destroyed emotionally or choose to let thousands of people die for the sake of one. But the problem is, Lois shouldn't be the one who Flex is targeting. His target, if we're using logic, should by all means be either Lana or Martha Kent.

But Flex is obviously on a deadline, right? He seemed to know that he would die soon, and he had to act quick. One could argue that he used the first person available to him (Lois) and got lucky. But see, the "time" argument doesn't work so well when you realize the time limit that was available to him:

A. Flex had enough time to escape the lab and find a change his clothes.

B. He was able to find and hook up explosives explosives powerful enough to send the DP globe toppling.

C. He was able to go from Metropolis to Smallville (a two or three hour trip) to find Lois at the barn (after presumably checking the Talon first).

D. Drag Lois' body from Clark's barn into the field, tie her to the cross, and paint an "S" on her chest.

It was implied that his encounter with Tess took place in the morning, around the time Chloe was at the JSA mansion, or at least a few hours after. This means that Flex had a truckload of hours at his disposal.

That time Flex spent to think of the plan we saw could have been better used to devise one that was a bit more logical. For example, the part where the DP globe collapses onto thousands of people is great. However, the part of the plan that involves crippling Clark emotionally doesn't really hold up. A better idea would have been to set explosives at a key event (possibly a gala or a ball) that Martha was atttending, or even her very residence.

Flex tells Clark that he has to make a choice: he has to either save the thousands of Metropolis citizens from being crushed by the DP globe or save his own mother from being blown to Kingom Come.

The hero in him would want to place the needs of the people above his own and save them from the citizens of Metropolis. However, the man, Clark Kent, would want to save his mother, the othe rhalf of his moral compass, the woman halfway responsible for the man he is today, from being killed. Add that to the fact that it would surely take Clark a while to get from Washington to Metropolis (or vice-versa) and you keep the time issue that Flex was so fond of.

I think that's a pretty good plan. If you don't think so, don't be afraid to say so in your reviews.

Anyway: Flex chuckles and comments that not even Clark is fast enough to save both Lois and the people.

Shameless reference to the Donner films. I liked it.

Before Flex dies he gives Clark the info on Lois' location.

I felt a little sad when Flex died. He was an awesome villian, and the guy who played him was amazing. I wish he could have stayed on as a recurring character.

Clark runs, faster than he's ever ran before, to go save Lois, just as the bombs on the DP globe detonate. The fire is beginning to come closer and closer towards Lois, who is struggling to get free. Clark runs around in a circle, using his speed as a vacuum to get rid of the fire surrounding Lois. He releases her from the ropes binding her to the cross and speeds away.

Just as the globe is beginning to fall, Clark shows up. He comes in at maximum velocity, making a giant super-leap to catch the globe in mid-air. For a second, it almost looks like he's flying.

We cut to Clark running towards the farm. He goes right into the barn and heads straight for the package his mother left him, a smile on his face and a determined look in his eye. He lifts open the box and he sees his new costume. Before he has a chance to try it on, he (and it) is zapped into the Fortress.

QUESTION: how the F*UCK did the Fortress repair itself? Zod smashed the console! Smashed it! The Fortress was dead. Jor-El was gone. And now the writers want us to just ignore all of what happened in thelast episode and just go along with the bullcrap they're subjecting us to? No. Uh-uh. That ain't gonna fly.

Clark looks around at the somehow repaired Fortress. It has a shiny new console and everything. Seriously, they must think we're idiots.

Clark speaks up, filling Jor-El in on all that he's done. He even tells him that - for just one second - he felt as if he were flying. And he does it with a smile.

For the first time in a very long time, Clark feels proud of himself. He feels confident in himself. For once, he's not being self-deprecating. He's simply being positive.

So of course, it all has to get taken away from him.

Jor-El expresses anger at his son for "bragging" about his accomplishments. He expresses disgust at Clark's behavior towards Flex, criticizing his behavior heavily.

You're kidding. Jor-El has the nerve to grill into Clark for almost taking a man's life after he vaporized Lindsey Harrison and put Jonathan Kent into a coma for three months? This is coming from a man who burned a freaking symbol into his son's chest just to get him to obey? The f*cking nerve.

I'm not defending Clark. He shouldn't have lost his temper, and he shouldn't have been so agressive with Flex. But hearing all of this coming from Jor-El of all people? That's a dead mission.

Clark begins to shout back at Jor-El, defending himself. The Fortress shakes violently, and Clark is momentarily quieted. Jor-El reveals that the evil that is coming to Earth preys on weak souls like Clark's (the NERVE), and if/when the evil gains control of him, Clark will become the Earth's greatest threat.

Clark denies this fate, although with much less vigor than before. Clark, clearly hurt by his father's words, tries to shrug off Jor-El's words. He says that even though he (Jor-El) doesn't see him as a hero, the rest of the world does, and that's all that matters.

Jor-El's final words:

"I regret, as a father. My faith in you blinded me to the truth. You will never be Earth's savior."

The Fortress goes dark.

Ouch.

And I mean ouch.

So...instead of trying to help Clark manage his "arrogance" and learn to defeat the new evil, he just leaves him hanging. Jor-El is a hypocritical prick.

(Sigh) We cut to Oliver' Queens nipple. Oliver is awakened by a slap to the face. He is told he is being released.

MUSIC MONTAGE

We cut to Tess, who is revealed to have taken in little Alexander. She sees him playing with Lex's old action figures and hands him a glass of milk. Wow. Out-of-character, much?

We cut to a stormy sky. We see one person being exchanged for the other. Both of them have on masks that cover their faces. They are guided to the truck opposite them. One prisoner is obviously Oliver, but the other is unknown.

The other person's mask is pulled off. She is Chloe.

Once again, I must question the logic behind certain actions. Why the Hell did Chloe decide that it would be a good idea to let herself be traded for Oliver, especially when no one knows she did it? Going in like that was not only incredibly risky, but also stupid. What if the goons hadn't kept their word? What if they had decided to simply keep both of them?

I know, I know, apparently Chloe saw herself doing this in the visions she received from the Helmet. But the question is: why would Chloe, who is always so strong-willed, bow to fate? Wouldn't she make plans? Tell somebody?

She could have very easily contacted either Clark or the Martian Manhunter and inform them of what she was doing. While the trade-off was happening, one of them could just simply swoop in and apprehend the guys that took Oliver. Or, if Chloe insisted on following the vision, she could have still told someone and have them follow her to wherever it is she's going. Or she could have simply had a tracking device on her that would allow Clark or Oliver or whoever to be able to see where she is or what she's doing at any time. What Chloe did does. Not. Make. Sense.

And I know for a fact that Chloe did none of the things that I suggested she should have done before. How do I know? Two reasons.

1. Just after Clark left for CADMUS Labs, she said, in a very sorrowful tone: "Goodbye, Clark." It's obvious that Chloe and Clark won't be having much interaction in the upcoming episodes.

2. SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT! Allison Mack is only contracted for five or so episodes this season, so Chloe will obviously be gone for quite a long time. There will likely be no contact.

And by the way, I'm pretty sure that Allison's departure for a majority of this season's episodes is a reason why this illogical choice was made. The writers didn't know what the heck they could do with her, so instead of finding a logical way to get rid of her, they came up with this bull.

Here's something they could have used: Chloe could have simply stayed comatose. Or, if that option doesn't please enough, Chloe could have simply gotten a lead on Oliver and made the decision to move locations so as to find better leads. She could be brought in unheard phone conversations throughout the season. What we were given was just…lazy.

And I ask: how did Chloe get into contact with these guys in order to make the switch? Does that mean she was able to track them? Or did the Helmet give her information on the group? If the latter part is true, why didn't she tell anyone anything? This just adds to what I said above. This is just really bad, really lazy writing.

We cut to Lois, in the desert, looking at a picture of Clark and herself. She's crying.

We cut to Clark, on the farm. He's reading a letter from Lois. Apparently, Africa was just too good to pass up. He lets the letter go, and it floats away in the wind.

MONTAGE OVER

Clark sees a man working farther out into the farm. He walks closer. We see as he sees. As we live and breathe, Jonathan Kent is in full view.

The two begin to talk about Clark's progress. Jonathan refutes Clark's claims of being a disappointment; he in fact argues the contrary. Despite this, Clark soon starts to voice his frustrations. He wishes he was perfect, like Jonathan.

Jonathan, of course, denies being perfect. He goes on to tell Clark about how his own anger lead to his death. Jonathan encourages Clark to not let his second (more like fourth or fifth) chance at life pass him by. He urges him to go out into the world and prove Jor-El wrong, to become the hero he is destined to be.

As Clark digests this advice, Jonathan warns him of the approaching evil Jor-El warned him about previously. Just as Clark begins to ask what's coming, Jonathan disappears.

I liked this scene, I truly did, but I think it would have worked better if it had taken place while Clark was still in limbo. It felt oddly out place here, but I was easily able to forgive it. Good scene.

We cut to Clark's emo tower. Gray mist begins to swirl in the wind. It begins to head towards the very edge of the tower, before it begins to take shape. We see the face of Darkseid.

We cut to the Fortress. We peer into the crystals. We see the Superman suit, proudly displayed, just waiting for Clark to come back and retrieve it.

EPISODE: END

ADDRESSING CONCERNS

Some people have been wondering why exactly Jor-El felt the need to "confiscate" Clark's new suit. Jor-El did not make it, nor did he have any hand in its creation. Plus, he has no idea that that suit is the suit, the one that people from all over the world will recognize. So the question remains: why would he take it? Well, I answered this question back on the Kryptonsite forums, so all I need to do now is copy and paste.

I think the reason why Jor-El took the suit is, in and of itself, fairly simple. After Clark rescued both Lois and the innocent people in Metropolis (therefore denying Flex's predictions and almost flying) he (rightfully IMO) felt proud of himself. If you remember, Chloe told Clark that he would soon become the world's greatest hero, and he would do it in color.

Let's look at this from Clark's perspective:

-He "defeated" the great evil that Jor-El warned him about. (In reality, the Lex clone was just there for our convenience. The evil he's about to face is, as we all know, much more powerful.)

-He was able to save both Lois and innocent people; in doing this, he did a heroic deed and laughed in Lex's face for defying him.-He felt like he almost flew.-Chloe told him that he would soon be a great hero, and his colors wouldn't be the (actually kinda stylish) black and white.

-His mother had left him a costume, a costume that was bright and hopeful. It even had his biological family's shield on it!

-For once, for once, he finally felt proud of himself!Now let's add all of that up and look at it from Jor-El's (rather warped, if it really is him) perspective. Jor-El thinks that Clark's getting too vain, too prideful, and has a good bit of darkness in his heart. He is angered that Clark dares to think that he's done a good job, that he thinks that he deserves to be called a hero.

The reason why Jor-El took Clark's suit was because of what Clark saw it as. Clark saw the suit as his opportunity to fulfill his destiny, as an opportunity to start all over and become the hero he knew he was meant to be. Jor-El, again, disagrees with this, and wants to disillusion Clark from thinking he could ever become a real , Jor-El also feels like Clark thinks of the costume as his prize. He saved a load of people, yes, but he felt too "prideful" and "vain" Jor-El felt. He would be damned if he allowed Clark to gain any sort of prize for succumbing to the darkness inside of him, so he took it. He took away Clark's "prize." He didn't take away the suit for what it represents to us, or even to him. He took it away because of what it meant to Clark.

Also, a lot of people are also wondering why Lois decided to up and leave Clark. Here's my view on it.

As you know, Flex told Lois that she was Clark's greatest weakness. Lois apparently took his words to heart and felt that the best way for her to help Clark was to get as far away as she could from him. As much as she loves Clark, she recognizes his duty to the world, and she doesn't want to come between that. Hence, Africa.

Hopefully, I answered all of your questions.

RATING

There was just a lot of really illogical moments and leaps of logic (no pun intended) in this episode. It just seemed like it was all over the place at times. I understand the need to want to fit everything you want into an episode, but if you want to do that, you have to make it coherent. This episode just…wasn't. maybe I was just expecting to much of the writers, but I definitely feel that this premiere was one of the weaker ones. I hate to have to give this rating to the final premiere of the show, but I have to be fair. I give Lazarus…

A 2.5 out of 5. Better try next time, guys.

NEXT EPISODE'S PREVIEW

Here's the link: http: / www. youtube . com/watch?v=MzxpOBE2zbc

If you pause at the right moments, you'll see that Clark is sporting a new uniform and hairstyle. ;)

Here's hoping "Shield" will be better than "Lazarus."

Peace to you all, and God bless.

-Dark Onyx