WARNING: THIS IS EXTREMELY DEPRESSING. It's a one-shot, and while I normally prefer happy endings, this one is in no way happy. And it kinda sucks, but I needed to get this out.

Her fingers trembled as she picked up the single envelope that had fallen from the pile of mail that had been placed on her doorstep. Her sharp eyes ran quickly over the name of the sender, but it wasn't that that had made her heart stop; it was the short and simple word that was written in the corner, as if placed there by accident.

Always.

She nearly tore open the envelope, pulling out a single sheet of paper. Her nimble fingers pried it open, revealing a page full of black, elegant words.

Kate, it read in all too familiar writing. It's me.

The letter slid from her grasp and landed on the floor, while the woman let out a strangled gasp and stumbled backwards, finding her way to the white wall and falling to the ground, her hazel eyes zeroed in on the letter as if willing it to burst into flames. But it didn't, so the detective curled her knees up to her chest and buried her head in her legs. Her heart was pounding faster that it had probably ever been, and it didn't help that tears were streaking down her face.

Her mind flashed to a memory of long ago, when life was okay. Hey, he'd said, wrapping her in his arms. Everything's gonna be okay.

But what if it's not, she remembers asking. Castle-

Everything's gonna be fine, Beckett. I'm here.

That had been two years ago. It had been two years since Katherine Beckett had seen Richard Castle, when he left her without any warning.

Then next day she had found out she was pregnant.

A sudden wail echoed in the apartment, drawing Kate back to reality. Her eyes never left the envelope on the ground as her breaths came in gasps. Without a second thought she grabbed her phone off the kitchen counter and dialed an all too familiar number with shaking hands.

"Hello?"

"Lanie? Get over here. Now."

Her best friend must have recognized the note of desperation in her voice, because not ten minutes later a banging started against her door. Kate barely had time to lift her head from her knees before the scraping of a key in the lock sounded, and then footsteps came.

"Kate? Kate!"

She lifted her head, her tear stained cheeks causing her best friend to pause. But she croaked out, "Alex. Get Alex."

"But-"

"Get my son!"

Lanie's shadow disappeared from over her for a few moments, and her son's cries grew louder before Kate lifted her head and lifted her son into her arms, holding him tightly to her chest, his head resting on her shoulder.

After a moment, Kate lifted her head. "Thanks," she whispered.

Lanie just shook her head. "Kate," she said quietly. "What the hell happened?"

Kat swallowed, before nudging her head towards the dropped letter. Lanie's eyes furrowed when she saw the letter, but when she picked it up, a hand flew to her lips. "Oh Kate…" her voice trailed off at the sight of more tears falling from Kate's eyes.

The detective bit her lip. "Give it to me."

Lanie brought it over and slowly handed it to Kate, who held her son even closer as her eyes flew back and forth across the page.

Kate, it's me. I know, I know, it's been forever. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I had to leave for reasons that I couldn't tell you at the time, and I regret that completely. I'm sorry. I know that you probably hate me, but please, hear me out. I want to meet you at that little coffee shop we used to go to, the one right outside the precinct. Tonight, at six. Please, Kate. Please.

More tears fell down her cheeks. "He wants to meet me, Lanie. He wants to see me."

The ME bit her lip. "Kate…did he know that you were pregnant?"

"No," Kate whispered. "He never knew about our son."

Six came fast than it should of, but instead of staying home, Kate gave one last shuddering breath before stepping into the coffee shop. The aromas of coffee immediately surrounded her, and she slightly relaxed. Alexander was nestled in her arms, halfway hidden in her coat. He had been asleep for a while now, having been fed warm milk before she left.

She settled into a chair towards the back, biting her lip and looking at the clock. It was two minutes past six, so she glanced down at her sleeping son and let the smallest of smiles come on her lips. When she looked up again, he was sitting across from her, staring with wide eyes at her – their – son.

Kate froze, not willing to be the first to talk. But luckily she didn't have to, with Castle's strangled laugh. "So," he said quietly. "Is he yours?"

"Ours," she whispered, before looking back down at Alex's brown hair and closed eyes. She felt his hand place gently on hers.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Why, Castle? Why did you leave?" She was getting angry.

He looked away. "It's…complicated."

"Like hell it is. You left me, Castle. You left me when I was pregnant with your kid."

"I didn't know you were pregnant!"

"Still," she hissed. "You shouldn't have left at all. Do you have any idea what you put your mother and daughter through? What you put me through?"

"My dad showed up."

She stopped her rant. "Excuse me?"

"My dad. He's CIA. He made me leave for my own protection…for your protection."

"That's not an excuse," she said simply, before standing up. "And I'm leaving. I don't want to hear it."

But before she could get out, she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Kate-" he started, but she whirled around jabbed him in the chest with her free hand.

"Stay the hell away from me, and stay the hell away from our son."

She made it back to her apartment before she burst into tears.

The End.