Title: Goodbyes
Author: Um, me, I think
Summary: Just a stupid little fic that I wrote in a really boring lecture one day. I know it's not very funny, but believe me, it's much more amusing than the lecture.
Disclaimer: No-one belongs to me, Buffy and Co. belong to Joss Whedon and WB, and Scott Evil belongs to…. someone else.
Feedback: If it contains the word "sucks", don't bother. I'm a sensitive gal! Email mhaz2001@hotmail.com if you really feel like it.


The sewer was dark, slimy and filled with an awful stench, but Buffy Summers noticed none of this. She was too busy concentrating on what Angel was saying, and the sound of her breaking heart.
"Angel, how can you leave me? You can't!" she cried, reaching for him. He moved out of her reached and said gently, "I have to Buffy, you know that. We can't be together."
"But we can. We love each other, what else matters?"
"How could you ever have a normal life with me? You deserve better than that."
"But Angel, I don't care about me, all I care about is standing right in front of me," she said quietly, almost pleadingly.
"No Buffy, you know that it has to be this way," Angel replied, turning away so she wouldn't see the look in his eyes.
"I know, but why, Angel? Tell me why"
"Well, for one, how many new ways can the writers come up with for me to get my soul, lose my soul, kill your friends, and yada yada yada?" he reasoned.
"Hey, that's true actually. I never thought about it like that. Huh" Buffy said, a thoughtful look on her face.
"Yeah, see, you should think about people other than yourself for once. This vampire stuff is hard for the writers. How can they have the heroine jumping in the sack all the time if her boyfriend is always gonna lose his soul? It's gonna become a soap opera."
"Okay, okay, point taken. We're off the subject anyway. Oh Angel, where will you go?" Buffy asked, tears forming in her eyes.
"Off to Los Angeles of course. Everyone knows that it's the demon/vampire/ghoul capital of the world. Call yourself a slayer?"
"Hey, that's not fair. You get to see the scripts before I do. Anyway, stop this mocking stuff, this is supposed to be emotional. What are you gonna do there?"
"Oh, fight crime, save the world, just the usual. Joss has a pretty cool little show lined up for me"
"Really? What's it called?"
"Well, "Angel" has a certain ring to it, don't you think?"
"No way! You get to be in your own spin off in LA and I have stay here in a stinking sewer?"
"What can I say? Joss loves me. He thinks I've really grown as an actor, too much for this little show."
"What does that mean? You can do the "brooding" expression as well as "intense" now?" Buffy retorted, but Angel's expression didn't flicker.
"Hey, for your information, I can also do "emotional", and I'm working on my Irish accent too."
"Look forward to hearing that then. Anyway, this is beside the point, get back to it. What am I gonna do without you?"
"You'll find a way to cope Buffy. You'll move on" he replied, looking intensely into her eyes.
"Oh yeah, that's right actually. I'm going to college, aren't I? I'm sure that there will be plenty of opportunities for one night stands and falling in love with cutie pahootie TA's"
"Whatever. Oh, and by the way, I'll always love you Buffy. I know you'll feel the same."
"Didn't I just say about the cutie pahootie? Did you get hair gel in your ears or something?"
"Laugh if you like, I've made enough money in this show to keep me in hair products for the rest of my life"
"And let me guess, after "Angel", you'll never have to wear anything other than leather?"
"Jealous, aren't you? Anyway, we should get back to this emotional departure thing"
"Right. Angel, please don't go. I need you. I can't breathe without you."
"Sure you can. In out, in out, there you go. Buffy, I have to go. It's for the best. I get my own show, you get a boyfriend who can go out in sunlight. You can top up your perfect tans together. It works out great for both of us."
"Okay, I'll give you that, but how can you go? You were nothing before this show! Not even a guest star on ER!"
"And what were you? Commercial kid, soap opera actress and teen horror queen? Whoopy-doo!"
"Hey, hey, hey, I'll have you know that I've won awards! Emmy's, MTV awards, you name it pal! I'm CosmoGIRL of the year, dammit!"
There was silence for a moment before the two embraced, tears of sadness pouring down both of their faces. An embarrassed cough a moment later startled them, and breaking apart, they saw Oz and Willow standing nearby.
"Hey guys. Angel's just about to leave for his own show in LA. Can you believe it? Thinks he's too big for us now" Buffy informed them.
"Well, I kinda have an announcement to make too. I'm off to Tibet to learn to control the wolf in me" Oz spoke up, and Willow whirled round to face him.
"How can you leave? You're breaking my heart! How will I ever - oh, they've just heard all that, what's the point of repeating it? Oz, whatever Buffy just said to Angel"
"It'll be okay Will, I'll be back, once I can control the wolf, plus I'm more famous for being Scott Evil now so I'm gonna take advantage of that."
"Yeah, whatever. I'm going to discover I'm a lesbian and fall in love with a fellow Wicca anyway."
Oz and Buffy were so astounded by this revelation, for which there had been no warning signs at all, that they didn't notice Angel walking into the shadows. That is, until there was a piercing screech and Cordelia came running, calling, "Angel, wait! They're going to make Xander fall in love with a demon, so I might as well tag along with you. Angel, wait…"