Impulse

I had the urge to leave. I didn't know where it came from but I had to. This happened every now and then, the urge to just do something spontaneous. It pissed Crawford off to no end because you can't see spontaneity. Well tough shit for him. I grabbed my jacket, made sure I had my keys and my wallet in case I felt like having a night out on the town, and left. It was cold out, go figure—I didn't have a winter jacket. It didn't bother me though. Not much bothered me really. Nothing bothered me because I just didn't care.

I walked with no sense of direction whatsoever. I'd probably end up getting lost, and I didn't really care if I did. In this area of Berlin, there were always pubs I could ask for directions. Too bad I didn't know the name of the place we were staying at. I could just hear Crawford in my head, going, "Some bodyguard you are if you aren't aware of your surroundings all the time." Too bad I'm too busy trying to keep everyone's voices from drowning mine out in my head to notice where the hell we were staying.

I walked on, lost in my thoughts, and the thoughts of others, ones where the owners expressed how bored they were of their job, or how sick they were of their significant other, or how they just wanted to hit up all the pubs in Berlin, get as drunk as possible, and crawl back home. One lamented how the streets were lonely at night in this area, the 'undesirable' section. They complained of bitch ex-girlfriends, of bosses and mothers-in-law who wouldn't stop nagging them to death.

I lit up a cigarette and took a long drag before burying my other hand in my jacket pocket. It felt like it was getting colder, but I didn't want to find my way back yet.

I wonder if Crawford notices I'm gone yet. What a stupid thing to hope, or wonder about, but I couldn't help but wonder.

Author's notes: Finally redid this thing because it was too short, for one thing, and for another it didn't seem like Schuldig to me. It sounds a lot better now, more like him. Thanks to editing this, I'm planning a second chapter as a follow up. This was a stream-of-conscious like thing, so Schuldig's kind of giving a running commentary on things. It suits him in this, I think.