My Beanie Babies, a scrubs fanfic

Disclaimer : I do not own Scrubs or any of its characters. Nor do I own the Beanie Babies company/logo. I simply borrow them for my entertainment and yours.

Hey there, boys and girls. Do you miss watching new episodes of scrubs? I know I do! I had an idea for an episode somewhere in the beginning of season eight and I finally decided to write it

down. I tried to make it as true to the show as I could and I tried to write it such a way that you, the reader, feel like you are watching an episode of Scrubs. My writing can only take you so far

so let your imagination do the rest!

My Beanie Babies

JD and Turk were walking down the hall towards the doctor's lounge.

(JD's inner monologue)

One of the things I love about working at this hospital is I get to work with my best friend. I know I can always be myself around him but a lot of the time that self is nerdy or dare I say it, feminine. Turk

sort of keeps me in check. I used this new shampoo this morning and it was time to put it to the test.

Dr. Cox sat on the couch in the doctor's lounge with his feet up on the coffee table and stared at the TV.

"Just smell it, it's strawberries and vanilla," JD said as he and Turk walked into the Lounge. He stuck his hair under Turk's nose.

Turk took a whiff. "JD, that's the same shampoo Carla uses."

"Too feminine?" JD asked, looking disappointed. It makes my hair smell delicious.

Dr. Cox grimaced and turned up the volume. "Hey, Bert and Ernie, do me a solid and zip it. My soap is on and if you make me miss anything I'm gonna make you share a locker with the Todd." JD

and Turk looked at each other and shrugged.

"Locker five!" the Todd shouted, followed by a slam and then a snap.

JD whirled around and his eyes widened. "Did you shove the Todd into that locker?"

"You will be joining him if you don't shut your good for nothing cake holes!" Dr. Cox roared, never taking his eyes off the screen.

If Dr. Cox were an animal he'd be a lion, JD thought. He tilted his head and smiled.

(JD's fantasy)

A lion with Dr. Cox's face ran up and down the halls of the hospital, belting out menacing roars. JD and Turk were crouched behind the nurse's station wearing ridiculous cowboy outfits. JD pulled out a

lasso.

"Are you ready, Chocolate Bear?"

Turk pulled out a saddle. "Ready, Vanilla Bear."

The Cox-lion approached and JD and Turk jumped from behind the desk. Both of them yelled at the top of their lungs as JD swung his rope. The Cox-lion roared and clawed at the two idiots. They went

flying across the room.

"I have an idea!" JD cried, cradling the huge scratches on his face. He crawled up behind the Cox-lion.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"I know how to cure his uncontrollable rage!" JD answered. He came up behind the animal and attacked it with a super-hug. The Cox-lion stopped roaring. He purred and wagged his huge tail back and

forth. "Aw, who's a good boy, huh? Who's a good boy?" JD cooed.

Turk handed the saddle to JD and they strapped it onto the Cox-lion's back.

"I get to go first, right?" Turk asked eagerly.

"No way, it was my idea!"

"Dude, what are you thinking about?" Turk asked, staring at JD's goofy grin. "Dude!" he cried when JD didn't snap out of it.

"I can cure you if you let me try!" JD cried.

"That's it!" Dr. Cox yelled. He got up, puffed out his chest and stomped up to JD. Their faces were so close their noses could have touched. JD flashed a panicked smile and held out his arms in the

hugging position. "Ready for your cure?" he asked stupidly.

Dr. Cox grabbed one of JD's arms. "You're joining the Todd in time out!"

JD tried to squirm away and Dr. Cox swung him over his shoulder and onto the edge of the couch. The remote slid off the couch and onto the floor. JD followed a second later and landed on it. The

channel changed and Days of Our Lives disappeared. Dr. Cox was enraged and lunged after the remote.

A news reporter showed up on the screen. "A receiving truck flipped over this morning just a block away from Sacred Heart Hospital. Numerous Beanie Babies were scattered-"

JD saw Dr. Cox lunge toward him. He cowered against the couch and covered his head with his arms while still sitting on the remote. He hit a button with his butt and Days of our Lives came back

on. Dr. Cox made a pleased noise, grabbed the remote and sat back down on the couch. JD peaked through the opening of his arms and sighed in relief. Then he jumped up and ran over to Turk. He

pulled Turk outside of the room and cried, "Did you hear that?"

"What, the last sliver of your manhood being squashed?"

"No, the Beanie Babies!" he cried excitedly. Then added an offended, "Hey!" and scowled.

"Beanie Babies? Dude, those are so out. Nobody collects those anymore."

"They are so in, Turk!"

"Out!" Turk shouted back.

"Well, I say they're back in!"

Turk shrugged and nodded his head in agreement, mostly to get JD to stop shrieking like a woman. "You know, they're out there just lying on the pavement," Turk said thoughtfully.

"You know what that means," JD said.

"Free Beanie Babies!" they cried in unison.

"Didn't I tell you girls to pipe down?" Dr. Cox yelled from the doctor's lounge.

JD shot Turk a wide eyed look. "Let's go," he whispered.

XxXxX

Ted and his girlfriend, Stephanie Gooch, were in the park having a nice quiet lunch date. They were sitting on a blanket in the grass with a basket full of food. An old lady walked by with her dog.

The dog stopped to sniff their food.

"Hey lady, you wanna go out with me sometime?" Ted asked. Gooch shot a surprised look at him. The lady looked confused. "Well too bad because I have a girlfriend!" He shouted, pointing at

Gooch, who nervously waved. The lady shot them both a dirty look and pulled her dog away. Ted watched her walk out of sight, a look of triumph on his face.

"Ted, can we talk?" Gooch said, eyeing Ted's leg. Ants were crawling into his pants. He scratched furiously.

"What about?" Ted asked, concerned. "Is it my mom? Did she die?" he asked, wide-eyed.

"No Ted, your mom didn't die."

"Oh," he whispered, a little disappointed.

"Look, I-"

A little boy ran passed them to retrieve his Frisbee and Ted cried, "Hey, kid! Do you have a girlfriend?" The kid wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "Well I do," he said, pointing at Gooch again

and yelled, "In yo face!" Gooch put her head in her hands.

XxXxX

JD and Turk ran up to the nurse's station where Elliot and Carla were talking.

"It turns out my patient has Leukemia," Elliot said. She frowned down at her chart.

"The six year old?" Carla asked in horror.

"Hey guys, guess what!" JD shouted excitedly, wearing a huge idiotic grin.

"JD, I'm right here," Elliot said wincing.

"Sorry, I'm just so excited!" he yelled, jumping up and down.

Trying to avoid JD's flailing arms, Carla walked over to Turk and asked, "So, what's he so excited about?" not really caring about the answer.

"A lady on the news said a truck flipped over a block from here and beanie babies were scattered-"

"From here to edge of the universe!" JD finished. Elliot and Carla shot weird looks at him when he stopped jumping to hyperventilate.

"Well, probably not that far," Turk said.

"You don't know, the lady never finished! My butt changed the channel," JD said shrugging his shoulders. Hm, what if our butts had hands...

(JD's Fantasy)

JD stood in front of the TV, remote in hand, switching from channel to channel while his butt hands finished feeding Sam a bottle, burped him and then changed his diaper. "Ugh, five hundred channels

and there's never anything on."

"Life would be so much easier if we let our butt's do all the work," he commented.

Elliot sighed in frustration, "I don't have time for this," then turning to Carla she said, "I have to break the news to his parents."

"You want me to go with you?" Carla asked in response to Elliot's big pleading puppy dog eyes. Elliot nodded. Carla took Elliot's arm and they disappeared into the patient's room.

Turk and JD made their way into the waiting room at the front of the hospital.

"Ah, who needs them. Let's go!" JD shouted.

"Hey you," said the Janitor.

"Hey me?" JD said incredulously. "After all this time you can't seriously not know my name."

"Why not? You don't know mine."

"Nobody does."

"Wait, it's on the tip of my tongue," the Janitor said. JD glared at the Janitor as he scratched his chin. "Oh, I know. Your name is BJ!"

"It's JD!"

"And there it is," the Janitor said, glaring.

"There what is?"

"You thought you could make me forget, didn't ya?" he said, pointing the handle of his mop in JD's face. "All these name games..." he whispered. "I'm smarter than that," he said, taking the mop

handle out of JD's face and tapping his left temple with it.

"What are you talking about?" JD shouted.

"Not so loud," Janitor whispered. "Do you want them to hear you?"

"Who?" JD said. He raised his eyebrows and looked around.

"The aliens. They could be anywhere," the Janitor whispered. He took JD's stethoscope and handed him the mop. JD watched the Janitor circle the waiting room, listening to each wall. Then the

Janitor crouched down on the floor and listened to some guys shoe.

"What are you doing?" JD asked.

"I'm checking for eavesdropping devices. They could be listening to us right now," he answered, holding up the confused man's foot.

"I'm so sorry, sir," JD said to the man and pulled the Janitor away from him. "Give me back my stethoscope!" He tried to grab it but the janitor held it up out of his reach.

"Let's go," Turk said. "You can get that back later."

XxXxX

"Ted listen," Gooch said, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her. "I'm trying to tell you something."

"Wait, did you say you wanted to talk?"

"Yes."

Ted's eyes grew enormous. "Oh boy, here it comes. I knew this would happen sooner or later! To be honest I thought it would be sooner."

"Ted-"

"No, don't say it. I- I don't think I can handle it."

"I don't think you understand."

"Why do these things keep happening to me?" he yelled. He jumped up and darted to a bike nearby.

"Wait, Ted!" Gooch called after him.

"Hey, that's mine!" a girl cried as he rode away, pompom handles blowing in the wind.

XxXxX

"They're beautiful... have you ever seen so many beanie babies?" JD said. He and Turk were standing behind the cones that blocked off the part of the street where the truck flipped over. The

news reporter and her crew were putting up their equipment and getting ready to leave. The truck driver was talking to a policeman.

"Excuse me, fine gentlemen," JD interrupted. "I was just wondering what was going to happen to all of these beanie babies?"

"Well," the truck driver replied. "I just got off the phone with the toy store. No one's gonna wanna buy these now, so they're donating them to Toys for Tots.

"Oh." JD picked up one of the toys and stroked it. "Soft..."

"I suppose you could take some," the truck driver said, eyeballing JD as he continued to pet the toy. JD and Turk grinned at each other.

XxXxX

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your son has leukemia," Elliot said clutching the chart tightly. "We need to start him on chemotherapy right away."

The little boy's mom burst into tears and her husband put his arm around her. The boy lay sleeping in his bed, completely unaware.

Carla took Elliot's arm and led her out of the room. Elliot sat in a chair by the nurses station.

"This sucks," Elliot stated.

(JD's inner monologue)

Turk and I got beanie babies that reminded us of, well, us.

JD held up the hand of Valentino the White Bear and said, "Bear five!" Turk held up the hand of his brown bear and as the little bear hands met JD giggled like a girl.

"Alright, double bear five!" the Todd said and high-fived the bears out of their hands. Snap.

"Not you, Todd!" JD yelled and scooped his beanie baby off of the floor. "There, there, Vanilla Bear. You're ok."

We also got beanie babies for our friends. But not for the Todd, that high-fiving lunatic.

"Hey, what's with the long face?" JD said when he reached Elliot and Carla.

"She just had to tell a couple their six year old has Leukemia," Carla stated.

"Oh, I'm sorry," JD replied. Turk tapped the backpack JD was holding. JD smiled and nodded. "Hey, here's something that'll cheer you up." He unzipped the backpack, pulled out a beanie baby and

set it in Elliot's lap.

Elliot jumped out of her chair and the toy fell to the floor. "What the frick is that?"

"It's a beanie baby," JD answered. He scooped it off the ground, looking horribly offended.

"We picked it out just for you," Turk added.

"Out of all the possible beanie babies you could have picked, you decided to give me a rat? I hate rats," she shrieked. "They're icky and dirty and they scamper across your feet and chew holes in

all of your cereal boxes! Which means you gotta eat oatmeal for breakfast instead, which I guess isn't so bad. My grandpa always said it was good for you."

"We thought it suited you..." JD said.

"What? How the frick-could-you-say-that-How-long-have-you-known-me?" Most of her sentence sounded like squeaky gibberish because she was talking so fast and so high that only Carla could

understand her. She sounded like a rat that got it's tail stepped on.

"Elliot, no one but me understands you when you get like this," Carla said, staring at the colorful rat. "Oh, I get it," she added. Turk and JD smirked at each other.

"Get what, Carla?" Elliot squeaked.

"Well, you do kinda squeak like a-"

"I do not sound like a rat!" Elliot screeched and stormed off.

"Elliot!" Carla called. Elliot didn't turn around. "So," Carla said turning to Turk, "what did you get for me?" Turk and JD looked at each other hesitantly.

XxXxX

Elliot stormed down the hallway clenching her fists. She turned a corner, screamed and flew forward.

The Janitor was on his knees listening to the wheels of an empty wheel chair with JD's stethoscope. "Oh, sorry Blonde Doctor." He stood up and reached his hand down to her. She allowed him to

pull her up. When she was back on her feet she violently straightened her dress.

"Frickety frick frick! I can't believe them!"

"Alright, what did they do?" the Janitor asked.

"They called me a rat!"

"Those alien scum!"

Elliot's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. She stared at the Janitor with her bulging bug eyes for a second then continued her angry march.

XxXxX

"You got me one didn't you?" Carla asked.

"Uh, listen, baby, I gotta go. We'll continue this later," Turk said, trying to escape. She grabbed his arm.

"Turk?"

"Look, after seeing Elliot's reaction to hers I don't know if I wanna give you yours."

"Yeah, we've pissed off enough women for one day," JD added.

"Oh, please. I'm not gonna react like that," she said, pointing in the direction Elliot went.

"You sure you want it?" Turk asked.

"Yes."

You promise you won't get mad, like Elliot?"

"Yes, just hand it over!" she said, one hand on her hip, the other outstretched and waiting.

Turk shot JD a look that said you give it to her. JD searched his backpack and dropped the toy into Carla's waiting hand. He closed his eyes tight, waiting for the yelling to start.

Carla stared at the animal and didn't say a word.

"Baby?" Turk looked nervous.

"Is this what I think it is?" Carla said in an icy tone. The temperature in the room seemed to drop.

JD had a brief image in his head of Carla morphing into and ice-witch and blasting the hospital to smithereens with her icy eye beams. His eyes shot open. "I have to go," he said and ran.

"Chicken!" Turk called after him.

"Obviously JD isn't the one you think is the chicken!" Carla said holding up the beanie baby in a vice grip.

XxXxX

Ted was sitting at a table in the cafeteria. His face was sweatier than usual and he was drowning his sorrows in a glass of chocolate milk.

"Ted?" Gooch sat down across from him. He looked up and let out apathetic moan. "Why did you run away from me?" She asked.

"I was hoping if you couldn't catch up to me then… you couldn't break up with me," he said in that pathetic tone only he could produce. "And then I got thirsty," he added, looking down into his cup of

cold chocolate milk.

"Ted, I'm not breaking up with you."

"I understand. Well, it was fun while it lasted." He stood up and turned to walk away.

Gooch got up and grabbed his sleeve to stop him.

"Didn't you hear what I said? I'm not breaking up with you," She said sitting him back down.

"You're not? Aw yeah! Still in the game!" he said and shot his arms into the air. He knocked over his cup of cold chocolate milk and it spilled into his lap. "Aw…" he moaned and jumped up. "These

are my mom's pants..."

Gooch grabbed him a handful of napkins and tried not to laugh at him as he wiped at the stain fruitlessly.

"Wait a minute. If you're not breaking up with me then why do we need to talk?"

"Well, my parents are coming into town. I know we haven't been dating long but I thought it would be nice if the four of us could have dinner and, you know, you could meet my parents."

"Oh," Ted said, surprised. The his surprise turned into a vacant expression.

"You don't want to. I knew it, it's too soon! Forget I said anything."

"Oh, It's not that. I just- a girl's never invited me to meet her parents before. Usually the farthest I get is a restraining order."

"It'll be great." Gooch smiled. Then frowned. "Can I ask you one favor?"

"You want me to stay at least ten feet away from them?"

"Could you just, you know, stop asking out random old ladies and yelling at little kids?"

XxXxX

Elliot put her money into the vending machine and hit G4. The bag of chips she paid for got stuck in the metal ring and refused to drop.

"Frick on a stick!" she cried and shook the machine.

"Now, what's got your pantyhose in a twist there, Barbie?" Dr. Cox strolled in holding a patient's chart in one hand and a beanie baby in the other, "And what in the name of all that is barbecued

is this?" he said, holding out the animal. "I found it on my desk."

Elliot gasped, "I should have gotten the barbecued. Frick!" She looked over at what Dr. Cox was holding. "Aw, it's a little lion. Why couldn't JD have given me something like that? Something that

says I'm brave and wild," as she said the word "wild" she tried to make her voice sound sexy, "untamed yet in control, strong, confident-"

"Well, Barboo, you are nawt any of those things. I on the other hand, well, I am all of those things," he said, flashing an egotistical smile, "and much, much more." He looked down at the lion. "You

say this is from Priscilla?" he asked. Elliot nodded, envious of the adorable yet fierce little lion. Dr. Cox grunted and hurled it across the room into the nearest garbage can. "Nothing but net!" he said as

the lion landed right in the center. He made this impressive shot just as JD walked in. Dr. Cox walked passed him, bumping his shoulder so hard JD almost fell into the wall. "You are not allowed in my

office, Priscilla. Go in there again and I'll break your arms."

JD dashed over to the trash can and fished out the lion. "So, does this mean you don't like your present?" He frowned down at the lion and sighed. "Hey Elliot, can we talk?"

"I have nothing to say to you, JD."

"Look," he pulled the rat beanie baby out of his backpack, "I think you misunderstand the real reason I gave you this."

XxXxX

The janitor yawned and walked out of an empty patient's room, still wearing JD's stethoscope around his neck. "Nothing like a third afternoon nap," he said smiling. He walked over to his janitorial

cart and saw something curious. A large, goofy looking ostrich beanie baby was sitting next to the container of urinal cakes. "Now, where did you come from? Could it be… a peace offering? No," he said

narrowing his eyes and looking around, "It's the Trojan horse all over again! Never trust men you don't know. Especially little green ones." He took out his knife-wrench and ripped into it. "I'll find that

eavesdropping device!"

XxXxX

"It's not a chicken," Turk stated.

"Oh, really? It sure looks like one to me!" Carla said.

"It's a hen."

"Hens are chickens, Turk!"

"Okay, if you wanna get technical,"

Carla stared at the bird in her hands. "Why a chicken, Turk? You better start explaining right now!"

XxXxX

"Then you'd better start explaining right now." Elliot said.

"Elliot, I picked this out for you because, like a rat, you are very resilient." JD stated. "No matter what this hospital throws at you, you always keep going with your head held high. You never give

up and you always do your best. You inspire me."

"Really?" She asked. Her voice squeaked again. This time it was because she was touched.

"Yeah, you're like one of those lab rats that just won't give up. No matter how much they poke you and prod you and experiment on you, you just won't die-"

"JD! Don't ruin it."

"Sorry."

"Is that really the reason?" she said, eyeballing the rat. It's eyes were blue and wide, giving it a sort of scared look.

JD smiled. I actually just came up with that on the spot. And even though what I had just said was true, it wasn't the real reason. But it didn't matter, because what I said made Elliot feel good about herself.

"Yes, Elliot," he lied. "Yes it is."

Elliot took the rat from his hands. "I guess it's kind of cute."

"And you know what else? It's from the Chinese zodiac." JD said, reading the tag.

"Coolio!"

XxXxX

"Look, baby, the reason I picked this out for you is because you're an amazing mother. You're great with Izzy, you took crazy care of me when I found out I have diabetes, you take care of

everybody in this place. The people in this hospital are your family. And, baby, whether you like it or not, you're the mother hen," Turk stated.

Carla sighed and smiled down at the chicken. "I guess I can live with that."

"Yeah, who's my momma hen? Gimme some sugar, momma." He pulled her into a side hug and kissed her.

"Hey, everything OK in here?" JD asked Turk as he and Elliot walked in.

Carla saw Elliot holding the rat and smiling. "Hey, Elliot. You like the rat now?"

"Yep, JD explained everything," Elliot said, stroking the rat. "I'm resilient." She looked down at what Carla was holding. "Aw, is that a turkey?"

"It's a hen." Carla and Turk said in unison.

The janitor walked in pushing his cart. JD jumped up and grabbed his stethoscope from around the janitor's neck. "I believe this is mine," he said. Then he looked down at a pile of cotton with a

pair of large bird feet on top. "Hey! What did you do to my beanie baby?"

"Oh, that was from you? Well, here," he said, handing the sad mess to JD. "A little duct tape and it'll be good as new."

"Hey, JD. Since Dr. Cox doesn't want it, do you think I could have the lion?"

"Sure, Elliot." He pulled the lion out and handed it to her.

Before she could grab it Dr. Cox walked by and swiped it. "Thank you."

JD gasped. He wants it! Quick, give him a hug!

Dr. Cox chucked the lion into the trash can on his way out of Sacred Heart.

Or not…

"Frick!" Elliot exclaimed.

Ted walked up to the nurses station. He looked around at Turk, JD, Elliot and Carla. They were all holding beanie babies. "Hey, where'd you get those?"

Bob Kelso walked by with a muffin in one hand and a dog beanie baby in the other. "Sorry, Ted. These are for winners."

"Aw…" Ted moaned.

"Mine looks just like Baxter!" Kelso said, smiling at JD as he passed.

"You're welcome," JD said returning the smile. He looked over at Ted. Poor, sweaty, pathetic Ted. Then looked down at the pathetic mess that was once the janitor's beanie

baby. "You can have this one," he offered.

XxXxX

JD, Turk, Carla, and Elliot walked out of the hospital with their arms linked, all holding their beanie babies.

One of the things I love most about working in this hospital is I get to work with my best friends, and I know I can always be myself around them. I know that no matter what, they will always accept me

for who I am.

Dr. Cox drove up in his Porsche and stopped right in front of the four doctors, blocking their way. "Hey, Priscilla. Why don't you give up the little girl toys and grow a pair!"

Well, most of them.

END

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I tried making it as much like an episode as I could. Let me know if you want me to do more. If anyone has an

idea for another episode I'd be happy to consider it. Is there something you've always wanted to happen on the show? Any parings that never made it on TV? Tell me about it and I just might

write it! I'll try to be as realistic as possible. Thanks again. ^_^

~ Dakosaurus ~