Thinking Out Loud

This begins after the family dinner at the Bates House

Chapter 1 : After Dinner Walk

As the evening grew long and transformed in the night, the lovely dinner at the Bates' house slowly ended as people slowly faded back into their own universe. First Sheriff Romaro excused himself shortly after coffee stating that the station would probably be coming apart without his presence. Using this queue and afraid to over extend what had been an evening he had so long hoped for Caleb to make a graceful exit. Once again thanking his sister for the lovely meal. Norma had behaved remarkably well considering the setting of the evening but the last remarked had made her crave some normalcy. As soon as the two men walked out she excused herself, claiming wanting to keep the food from sticking to the dishes. She looked clearly a little flustered.

Emma: Norma, would you like some help, I am sure we could get them finished in no time.

Norma: Oh darling, this is so kind of you. I am so happy you decided to join us tonight, but you already help me out. Norman, why don't you come and help your mother? Norman?

Norman: Oh Mother, I think you had enough men here tonight to help you, now you want me to help you when they are gone. Isn't this particular? May be you could ask James to come over again, he was so helpful earlier?

Norma became even more flustered and upset my Norman's comment.

Norma: Dylan, would you please make sure Emma gets home safely?

Dylan: Sure Mama.

Dylan without even realising it grabbed Emma's hand and hustled her out of the room not knowing in which state Norman and Norma's argument could turn. As they were walking out of the house they could hear Norma wondering why Norman wanted to spoil her perfect evening and then run out to the kitchen.

Emma had a worried look on her face as they stood outside on the porch. She turned to Dylan.

Emma: Do you think they will be ok, I mean what is Norman has another break? Do you think your mother will be ok?

Dylan: I am sure they will be fine; there is already no more yelling. In a normal family this might stand out but in this family, as you know, this was a normal finish dinner.

Dylan answered with a mild awkward laugh.

Dylan: I am so sorry Emma, you know this is not what I thought. I wanted to thank you and instead now you are worried this is not how I wanted the evening to go at all.

Emma: Why? No. Dylan. This was perfect. I am used to Norman behaving this way now. I have come to realise that this is how he is and will always be with him. But this evening was perfect. Bringing me here, to this family that I love so much, it had been a while since I had seen a real family dinner, wards and all. Please don't apologize.

Dylan: But I wanted you to relax and rest, not worry.

Emma: I did relax, but I don't want to rest I want to be happy and tonight made me happy.

Dylan: I really don't know what made you happy like this, are you sure this is the family you want to belong to?

Emma: You know at dinner tonight when your … well… Caleb was telling one of the stories from when he lived away and you mom was laughing.

Dylan: Yeah

Emma: Well, well I wasn't looking at them, I was looking and you and you had this smile on your face. Just for a minute there it looked like all your worries had faded away. It was just like for a second there, things were just perfect.

Dylan for a moment simply smiled looking down. This felt like earlier when they had been sitting in the living room before his father showed up. He didn't know where he should look, where to put his hands instantly noticing he had been holding Emma's hand this whole time. He quickly reacting taking his hand away and immediately realize this felt more awkward and tried to keep him cool biting his lower lip and running the hand through his hair.

Dylan: So what you are telling me Emma is that when you look at me, you see a child, I can't say I am not a little hurt, he added nervously laughing.

Emma had herself never noticed he hadn't let go. Those last few seconds holding Dylan's hand had been magical. So many feelings were rushing through her she felt like she couldn't keep up. It was like when she desperately grasped for air but instead of a sense of dread and panic, she felt joy and excitement. But what she done and gone, called him a child? How stupid could she be? Telling him she was staring at him. Of course he took his hand away. Why would she go and do something like that.

Emma: No, I mean it's not, I … I don't think you look like a child. Dylan!; Emma exclaimed, "You are making me say things I don't mean". Emma added while jokingly hitting his chest.

Dylan smiled and laughed. He managed to make her laughed. He didn't know when this had started happening but the sound of her laugh had lately been brought so much comfort to her. He knew then he had to make the run, no matter the risk, he could not lose that laugh.

Dylan: This might now have been quite what I had planned but maybe we could walk for a bit?

Emma: Well my car is parked at the hotel.

Dylan Well then, let me walk you to your car? You know the gentleman like way.

Dylan added with a laughing smile. Emma, who was now also smiling nodded approvingly as they slowly started down the step. The awkwardness of a moment had dissipated as they walked side by side, silently down the stairs. Emma tried so hard not to be caught staring after her faux pas earlier the last thing she wanted was for Dylan to think was that she was a love sick school girl who wasn't able to stop staring at him. Instead she stared at the stars. Feeling the quiet of the evening sky, feeling the warmth of the presence beside her; this in fact was a pretty perfect night.

On the other hand, Dylan could do nothing but stare and wonder. What was she thinking about looking up like that at the star? The stars, it looked like the stars were in her eyes, they looked just beautiful. Wow, when did this awkward girl start to look so mesmerizing? But why wasn't she looking at him what was she thinking so intently with this half serious face. He was so distracted he almost skipped the last step.

Emma: Dylan, are you ok?

Dylan: Haha, ya I think, I missed a step there. I got distracted.

Emma: "By what?" Emma asked laughingly.

Dylan: Oh nothing, just trying to figure out what you were thinking about?

Emma: What? I wasn't thinking about anything interesting, my thoughts are not interesting, I know this for a fact.

Dylan: Why would you ever say that?

Emma: Well sometimes I think out loud… if that makes any sense and I know well, it doesn't inspire any traction.

Dylan: What do you mean you think out loud?

Emma: "I can't tell you… it is too embarrassing." Said Emma who had just turned well realising she may have said too much.

Dylan: So you won't tell me what you were thinking about?

Emma: Nope… I would probably just rant nonsense anyways.

They were both laughing when they reached the car.

Emma: Well I should go.

Dylan: Wait Emma there is something I need to tell you. I… hum…

Emma: Dylan what is it, you look all serious.

Dylan took both of her hand in his and said: I am going to be gone. I mean I am going somewhere. I won't be gone long. I was just thinking, before I went I just needed to…

Emma: Why are you telling me that? You are not doing anything dangerous because I know you have been working so hard to try to do good and …

Dylan: No no! It is not why I am telling, it's not anything like that I don't want you to worry. Its just I could be gone for a couple days and I didn't want you to … you know… think if I wasn't around or something… I was avoiding you or something like that.

Emma: You left plenty of time before, it's fine, I am fine on my own.

Dylan; I know that. You are really incredibly strong Emma. I… I.. I don't know why, it's just this time I thought for some reason, I just didn't… you know.

Dylan looked so shaken and intend yet so vulnerable all at once. Emma simply didn't really know how to react but also didn't want to move. She notices that when they had been talking Dylan had closed the space between them. She now found herself with almost no room between her car behind her and Dylan on the other side. She could feel his warm breath cut though the evening air and caress the skin of her face. For a moment, she forgot how to breathe. No words could come out as Dylan lean forward and kissed her cheek. No air could enter her lungs.

"I will be back real soon" said Dylan as he turned around and walked back to the house not even daring to turn around for fear Emma would notice the nervousness in his eyes. He realized it was not the gun run which caused him to be afraid, it was the idea he would never see her again if things went wrong. Not only that but if he didn't succeed, it was her life that might be next. He swallowed with pain the ball in his throat as he walked back to the house.

Emma with her mouth still closed was still pined to the driver's door of her orange vehicle. "Breath, you have to breath" she told herself finally letting go the painful but warm hair she had been holding in. Embarrassed at not knowing how long she had just been standing there and in which state she might be in the rushed in her car and took off wide eyed and with a brilliant smile that she thought nothing could erase.