Prologue

Just another day sitting in the park, contemplating my life. Should I stay here in the park tonight? Or should I try to find a shelter with space? Or should I just end my misery? My life has been nothing but Hell these past few months. After graduating from WSU, I had some money saved up to move here to Seattle; Vancouver was now filled with hurtful memories just as every other place I've ever been. No one ever understood. Why couldn't I just..

My thoughts are interrupted by a cheering crowd int he distance. At first I thought it was some birthday party of group of friends meeting up, things I had never experienced, but then I see a flash from a large professional looking camera. There are people in suits standing around some sort of make shift podium; probably some businessman or politician talking about 'cleaning the parks' to make their image look good. The thing is, when they say things like that, they don't mean putting recycling bins around but kicking the rejects like me out. Those people have no idea what it is like to hurt as much as I do right now and honestly, I hop they never will. No one should have to feel this kind of pain; not necessarily the physical pain but the pain of knowing you're a disappointment to yourself and to life in general, of knowing you're a nobody.

Pulling away from the fucked up-ness of the thoughts that often cloud my mind these days, I try to focus on the now. The sun is starting to dip lower in the sky and if I want a chance to get in to a shelter tonight, I should really leave now. But I kind of like this park. With no job and no life, I've gotten to explore the city a little more and Denny is one of the few big parks close to the heart of the city. When I was first evicted, I tried to stay away from the city as it would bring back old memories in to the life I had and the life that could have been. Usually, I would run away like I did in Vancouver - I didn't even walk across the stage - my dad, well step-dad, Ray wasn't all too happy about not being able to see me walk but I used some excuse about wanting to start working as soon as possible. The day after finals were done, I took off. But for some reason, I can't shake this city, besides all that's happened here, for some reason it feels like home. Montesano felt like home once but there was always the lingering reason why I ended up living there full time…

Great, I've been sitting here for 35 minutes reminiscing/remembering a bunch of crap. Now I'll never get in to a shelter. I guess I'll have to stay here. This is my first time staying in this park, maybe I should go to another one? I have no idea who they treat people in this park or how safe I will be once the sun goes down. It is in the city though so I should be safe right? I don't really see any other homeless people around but maybe they don't look homeless; then again, I don't think I look homeless. I make sure to wash at least every couple of days, I keep my hair up to prevent it from getting too dirty and my clothes are.. okay. There aren't any snags or noticeable holes in them; I probably just look like some teenager sitting on a park bench. My tiny frame and lack of body fat/muscle undoubtedly make me look younger than the 23 years old that I am.

Great, another 20 minutes lost! I put my head in my hands and try to focus on one single topic: staying alive and safe tonight! I look up again and take a good look around: the crowd of obnoxious people are gone and there are just a few families and people around seemingly enjoying their lives. I wonder if people like me are even allowed to sleep in a park this close to the affluence of the city-folk; maybe that's the reason I don't see any one else here. If not, I don't think my spot is too obvious. You can't see me from the roads and there is a decent sized tree behind me so I should blend in once it gets darker.

I take out my iPod shuffle and sketchpad to kill some time and soon the sun is starting to set.

Author's Note:

Hello All,

I just want to clarify that this is a re-write of the story I originally published in April of this past year. Instead of publishing it as a new story, I decided to start it over here since it was my first published fanfic. I'm sorry if this confuses any of you but I like this option best for myself. I said I would not give up on this story and I meant it.

Thanks for reading. Please review, comment, ask questions, etc.

p.s if you have previously reviewed a chapter and cannot anymore but would like to voice your opinion, feel free to PM me.

-Ari