Bitter
Disclaimer: Disclaimers suck! Hey Arnold! Is not mine…
Bitter – Part 7 (Finale)
I guess all of this stuff has seemed out of character for Arnold. Well, some of it is, some not. I mean he is a wonderful guy but he has his faults to. He is VERY sympathetic to himself. He will tale sob stories to girl after girl who will just fall in his lap. Dense is another major problem. Still…I guess I'm just angry. Since that fateful event, I've been moping around from show to show. I see him a lot, but he tries as hard as he can to avoid me without being hurtful. I guess it's just me. You confess your undying love for someone and you think that they would talk to you, you know? Ah, don't mind my sarcasm…
I've been crazy for him for along time but still. I never thought it would be me. In movies and television, whenever one falls for someone, they almost always return the feeling. I wish I was taught better.
I was always the first for everything. First to hit puberty, first to loose a tooth, etc. Not to say I'm a fast mover, on the contrary. I like to grow up as slow as possible. This just threw me overboard.
I mean, I am such an interior romantic it's crazy. Not like the kind that reads romance novels and cries over every movie. Just a simple "hopeless romantic." One that looks for the little things in life, and is romantic in every sense of the word. But I've had my heart broken too many times. In fact I am fucking SICK of being heartbroken.
So what do I do? I keep my heart under lock and key, with an electric fence around the perimeter, a minefield around that, security guards, and an enclosing pool of piranhas. I just expected that like most men they'd try to bang down the door down. I was wrong.
You know what he did?
He fed the piranhas, sweet talked the security guards, tiptoed around the minefield, dug under the electric fence, picked the lock open and melted the steel door down. I've fallen. God, this seems so sad.
Is something wrong with me? Am I so unworthy? I mean…all right, I am somewhat of a 'classroom comedienne.' Maybe that's it, I'm obnoxious. Or, it could be my looks. I never thought much of my looks. I don't act feminine. I mean, I have that side but I don't show it. Oh God, what am I lacking? Tell me, I'll get it. What is his ideal woman? What does he want to fall in love with? I mean I thought that love was the only requirement.
It never occurred to me that someone could fall in love with someone and they wouldn't feel the same. I mean it just never occurred to me. Yes, I knew that relationships didn't work out, but the idea of someone falling in love with someone and the feelings not being returned? What was the sense in that?
Deep down, I know…I don't like to admit it, but I know he feels the same way. He just does, I don't know how to tell you, but he does. I guess he's never going to act on it now. He's just discovered his tiny little rebellion and he doesn't need me tying him down. I guess this is just my punishment for being a hopeless romantic. Also, being a part of the TV generation.
In the movies, it's usually the guy who falls first, then there's an uninterested and or/unattainable girl who he manages to woo. But when the girl falls? She's obnoxious and pathetic. He? Well, he's amazing and out of her league.
It's just so hard. It hurts like hell. I just don't understand why….agh… I guess it's because of those damned movies and TV again. Raised my hopes up and made me think that true love will always find it's way, and for that I'm bitter. Being a writer, as I sit her writing down my tale to help vent, I am reminded of books as well. True love always finds a way then, why not now? I guess that this is just some sort of cruel joke put upon me.
You know what? Maybe I'm tired of reality. I mean, why should I deal with it when everything I've grown up with has told me the opposite…Until then I will journey of unto the lands where families are perfect, anything is possible, and true love always finds a way…
Wouldn't it be wonderful?
Thanks everyone for reading! I'm sure you're all wondering, "What's the big surprise ending?" Well, I guess it's lame but the surprise is that this story is a true story. It's mine in fact.
Thank you and I'd appreciate any feedback!