A/N: This came to my head while listening to Psychotic over and over again. no real pairing, but this is my first Vocaloid fanfiction. I normally write -Man but I felt a need to switch things up. Feedback is much appreciated.
I stood outside, the rain was pouring on my head and I tried desperatly to not look at my shoes which were caked in blood. I could hear the police sirens and I was pretty sure they were looking for me. But what would they need with a fourteen year old kid, right? Maybe I should start at the beginning for this story to make sense.
A while ago, I noticed I had fallen in love with someone who I was forbidden to touch. Rin, being my twin, caught on almost immediately. She was a little disappointed because she thought I was attracted to her. No, it wasn't Rin who I had fallen for. I had fallen for our manager. Us meaning Rin, Miku, Kaito, Meiko and myself. We were internet sensations called the Vocaloids. We even got to perform live once or twice. We were recognized everywhere by our fans and couldn't go out to eat without someone being there to want to speak to me, Rin, Miku, Kaito or Meiko.
When things were peaceful, I could spend a few hours with Manager-san and she would focus entirely on me, which made me happy. Just seeing her smile everyday made me happy and made my heart flutter.
I was happy.
Until some new manager for Crypton came. He took up all of Manager-san's time. She didn't pay attention to us anymore, and I wouldn't blame her. The male was tall, strong, hansome, everything I wasn't. Hell, he was probably bigger then me as well.
As I lay in bed one day, Rin cuddled up to my chest as she always was, I started having these thoughts I normally didn't have for someone my age. I thought that if I couldn't have Manager-san, then no one should. As I started thinking of ways to take her fom that new man, an unbearable ringing started to sound in my ears. I pulled Rin closer to me and started to cry. My twin slowly srated to wake up and ask me what was wrong.
"Rin-chan, my heart can't take this pain anymore." I said, sobbing into her underdeveloped chest.
"Len-kun," She whispered as she held me close, whispering in my ear that it was going to be alright until I fell asleep; but, when I woke up the next morning, the ringing was back. And so were those thoughts that scared me.
I walked into the Crypton building and Manager-san gave me her normal "Good morning" smile. I should have been happy to see it, but when the new man came and wrapped his arms around her I snapped. "Who the fuck do you think you are you asshole!" I yelled at the new manager and pulled him off Manager-san. The elder male, not to mention everyone in the room, was shocked. All he could do was stare at me wide-eyed. "Did she say you could hold her like that?"
"Len-kun," Manager-san pulled me away from the male in front of me. "Calm down. I know you're just a kid so you won't understand, but this is Hiroshi. He's the manager for the Sony Vocaloids. Plus he's my new boyfriend."
I felt my hear rip in two. Manager-san had a boyfriend?
I pushed her away and ran out of the building. I didn't want to see her or the Vocaloids. I didn't stop running until I was far enough from the building to not see the top of it anymore. All that was visible of the Crypton building was the blinking red light on top of it.
Thunder and lightning crackled in the sky above me and I looked up to the grey sky. Droplets of water mixed with my tears and soon I couldn't even tell whether I wa still crying or not. I don't remember how long I sat on the cold ground, avoiding the home Crypton was so nice to give us and the Crypton building.
I remember walking into a store, and somehow purchasing a gun. I hid it between my boxers and my pants with my shirt covering it, of course the safety was on. Swallowing my guilt I could feel my feet dragging me back to the Crypton building. I din'r remember how long I walked, but it must have been for a while as I was then soaked to the bone from being out in the rain.
Looking at the watch hidden under my sleeve, I knew the other Vocaloids had gone home and would be waiting for me; but Manager-san was still at the building. My heart started to hurt once more as soon as I was in the recording booth inside Crypton. I dropped to my knees and clutched my chest just begging for the pain to pass. I don't know how long I was on the floor, but once I got up I knew why I had bought the gun, what I had to do.
Manager-san was in her office, making a report to the head of Crypton, Mr. Yamaha-san, on what was done today. Glancing over it, I saw that no one did anything without me there.
I wrapped my arms around her neck and I could feel her visibly jump. "Manager-san…" I said into her ear.
She turned around and looked at me. Her green eyes were concerned, I could tell she was worried about me. A voice rang in my head but I couldn't hear it. "Len-kun, where were you? You're all wet."
"It doesn't matter where I was." I say.
"We were all worried about you!" Manager-san said. I just shook my head and pulled her close. I wanted her to hear my hurting heart. The heart that bleeds for her everyday.
I pulled her to the floor and set her on top of my waist. Her hips wrapping around mine perfectly, I couldn't help but let out a groan. Her eyes widened and I pulled her head down to mine as my lips locked with hers.
I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, asking for entrance, only to be refused. Manager-san pulled back and looked at me with cold eyes. "Len-kun, I like you, but not like that. You're a great guy to be around, but I don't love you."
The voice in my head got louder as the pain in my chest escaladed. Why don't you just finish it? The voice said. That ungrateful bitch doesn't want you. You bought that gun for this reason. Put a hole in her fucking head!
The voice was right. I reached behind me and grabbed the gun from my shorts and switched the safety off. I know Manager-san saw the gun as she started squirming. She was pleading and I wasn't listening.
If you can't have her then no one can.
That's right. Hiroshi-teme can have her in a body bag and know that it was all his fault for interfearing. I put the gun to her temple and looked away as I shot her. I begged for me to miss, but it was too close to miss. I had killed her, the person that I had loved.
Her blood was all over my hands and shirt. The pool forming on the ground was getting my shoes caked in the stuff.
I shakily stood up and dropped the gun. I could not hear the voice in my head anymore. It was then that I realized that it wasn't a voice in my head telling me to shoot.
It was myself.
I was the one who was telling myself to kill Manager-san, not some stupid voice. I felt so…
….psychotic.
I grabbed the gun and ran. That's all I could do was run. The building was empty so I had no reason to fear anybody stopping me. I ran into the rain and didn't stop until I could no longer see any familiar land marks. I was alone in a strange place.
I could hear sirens pass me and I cringed everytime one did, fearing I would be caught.
Now I can do the only thing left to do.
My heart never stopped hurting, and I had to do something about this ache in my chest. I grabbed on to the fence in front of me and screamed until I couldn't scream anymore. When that didn't help I looked at the gun in my hand. I would be put away anyway, so why not spare myself and just end it?
Go ahead, you have nothing to live for.
I really don't anymore. If I went back, I would just put the other Vocaloids, expecially my sister, into a predicament that they don't need. It's better to just vanish.
The gun felt like I weighed a ton in my hands as I pulled it up to my head.
Just fucking shoot yourself already you pussy.
So the voice is back. No, not a voice. It's my other psychotic half. The half that made me kill Manager-san and the half that is making me kill myself now.
I looked at the cloudy sky one last time before I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger.
I didn't hear Rin calling my name until after I fell to the ground.
Did I have regrets? Hell yeah I did.
I regret that I let my psychotic self take over and kill Manager-san. I regret that I had let his crazy-ass take over again. And I regret that Rin had to see me shoot myself.
-Fin.
