DISCLAIMER: I don't own the show or characters. Fresh TV owns that stuff. Credit goes to I'll Cover Angel and Collins for making me the sweet cover. Thanks, Brittany! :P
Well, this is definitely the longest oneshot I've written as of late, if not the longest one I've submitted as of right now. So, this took me maybe almost two weeks to write... I kind of lost track.
Anyway, sorry if Scott and Courtney might seem a little OOC at some points; I do usually try to envision the characters saying this stuff in my head as I write it out, so I am trying my best here. :P This also isn't as fluffy as most of the Scourtney fics I've written, which is what I intended because I actually wanted to set a different mood to this pairing for once.
Hope you guys enjoy it, and please be sure to R & R!
Finding Solace
(Scott's POV)
It's been about four months since I've heard from her last, not that I'm complaining… The on off friendship that me and Court have is a fairly typical thing; she prefers to keep her distance from me for short periods of time, while I just sit here in this crummy, old farmhouse and contemplate. Plus, compared to her "preppy" high school friends, I'm just some kind of white trash to them… I get that kind of thing from quite a few people, so I completely understand that she'd like to keep her reputation in best interest.
As crazy as it sounds, I think I might actually be falling for her, but I know I'm totally off my rocker with that one; there's no way in hell that a high maintenance chick like Courtney would ever want anything to do with dirt-poor farm boy like me… Plus, she kinda already has a boyfriend, so, my chances would already have been crushed by the time I even tried to get with her. Just speaking common sense, is all…
Yet, there's just something about her that's been making me go crazy lately! I can't quite put my finger on it, but one thing's for sure, I just can't seem to get her off my mind… Even in my dreams, she taunts me; I'm normally not one of those weirdos to actually take my dreams seriously, but now I actually think my dreams might mean something. I don't know what exactly, but all I know is that I've been deprived of her for too damn long…
I knew I needed to clear my head of this crap, so I did the sensible thing by leaving the farm to get some fresh air; maybe then Courtney wouldn't have as much of a hold on me.
The weather outside today was fairly refreshing: wasn't too hot, and wasn't too cold. Just rather cloudy with the slight chance of rain. Definitely beats out a heatwave during some heavy-duty work on the farm, that's for sure.
I decided to cut through the park on the way back, but stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of a certain figure sitting on one of the park benches: now I knew my mind had to have been playing tricks on me… There, sitting alone in the gloomy atmosphere, was Courtney; looking slightly more downcast than usual. I couldn't help but wonder what she was even doing here? It's not really like Court to be all isolated from others like this… I knew that something definitely was up, and I was gonna find out what that thing was, whether she liked it or not.
I slowly walked over to where she was at, and my heart nearly stopped once I took a good look at her: Courtney looked so much more prettier than I remembered… Maybe it's just because I haven't seen her in so long, but dang… Couldn't resist taking in the sight of her. Her brunette hair was neatly combed and in place, which complemented her skin tone nicely, and her eyes… Courtney's freaking eyes! I swear I could get myself lost in them for hours and never get tired of em'… As for the spatter of freckles across her nose, I'd give her kisses for each one of them she had on her face… I'm sorry, does that sound weird to ya? Oh, who the heck cares! You all know you'd to the same thing if you saw a gal like Courtney!
I'm so freaking glad she wasn't paying me any mind right now, because I felt my face flushing up so hard right now… Can't believe she's doing this to me.
Through all my jitteriness and slight light headedness, I finally managed to choke something back up to say to her. "Um, hey, Courtney… Haven't seen ya in awhile."
Once she looked up and saw me standing there, she got all wide-eyed and quickly regained her composure as if nothing had happened. "Oh, hey, Scott… Sorry, I didn't see you there." Courtney then took her attention off of me and slowly looked down at the grass, looking almost sullen like as she did; her lips were pursed up in a frown while her mind seemed to be elsewhere… I could tell that Court was thinking long and hard about something. I know it really ain't any of my business, but, her expression was somewhat intriguing to me that I couldn't help but question it. Also, were those… Dry tears? Had she been crying before I even came around here? I've always known Courtney for being a strong and independent lady, so usually she never let this kind of crap bother her. So… I finally broke the silence to see what was up.
"So, what's been troubling ya?" I wasn't gonna let her get out of this so easily either, because I already knew that she'd try to deny how she felt by just lying straight to my face.
"I'm fine. No problems here." she assured me, but then I caught sight of her lower lip quivering a bit, and I raised an eyebrow at her.
"That's funny, cause you didn't look so fine the few seconds ago that I was here…" I say, crossing my arms. "Come on, Courtney. Just be straight with me… What's on your mind?"
"I already told you, I'm fine…" Courtney scowled at me, the firmness now present in her voice. "Don't try to be a smartass with me, Scott. Everything is perfectly fine…"
"Hey, I ain't trying to be a smartass with ya, Court." I go on and say in defense. "It's just that I've known you long enough to know that what you're spewing at me is a bunch of crap. You just let your pride go on and get in the way…" I knew I probably dug my own grave by saying that, but I wanted to know what the heck was up with her, and it was really the only way I could get through to Courtney at this point; her eyes were acting like daggers to my heart right now.
"Are you calling me a liar?!" the brunette fumed at me, prodding a finger to my chest. "Listen, here you greasy, piece of trailer trash! I will not have someone of lower social class than myself accuse me of being wrong! Got it?! Now, shut up! And leave me alone!"
I sort of just smirked at her while she was still seething with anger, which caused her to become even more furious with me. "What the heck are you smiling at?!"
"I think you and I need to have a little talk…" I replied back as I quickly grabbed onto her. Courtney started flailing her arms like crazy in my grasp, and as I picked her up, she landed a swift kick to my lower area… Dammit, that smarts. I tried my best to hold back my muffled yelps that the blow had caused me and flung her over my shoulder, as she continued wailing right onto me; thank the Lord no one else was here to see this, otherwise we'd be causing a real scene. I then proceeded to carefully take her back to my place while she was still busy protesting…
After what seemed like a freaking eternity, I finally managed to arrive on my front porch and get us both inside…
"Let go of me!" Courtney screamed, well more like demanded, as I put her down gently… Only to receive a quick kick to the shin in response; yeah, I probably deserved that, so I didn't mind the pain all too much.
"What the hell is your problem?!" she retorted back at me, her words being spat viciously like the venom of a snake's.
"My problem is that you refuse to tell me your problem…" I explain simply, my back leaning against the wall. "There. Happy?"
"No!" she growled, clenching her fists. "Ugh, you're so unreasonable, Scott… I don't even know why I bother wasting my time with you."
"Hey, I ain't exactly being the unreasonable one here right now…" I chuckle a bit, but stopped once she shot me a glare. "I mean, I tolerate ya enough, right? Even with the whole distance thing, I just want ya to know that I support you through thick and thin, and that I'd be willing to do anything for ya… And to be honest, well, I really missed you, Court… It gets really lonely out here, so it's always nice for me to have someone to talk to. You understand, right?"
I noticed that the tightness of her facial expression loosened up a bit, as she cracked a small smile at me. I couldn't help but smile back at her, because I knew I was finally getting through to her.
"I mean, we're friends, right Courtney?" I continued on, still having her attention. "So, you should feel comfortable telling me anything that's been bugging ya, and not feeling all shy about it. Sometimes, it's just good to let things out of your system, ya know? It's not healthy to keep things bottled up all the time…"
At this point, Courtney's expression had become very soft, as her eyes soon drifted off of me and onto the floor. But she then looked back up at me, grinning warmly. "Scott, I don't think I've ever seen this side of you before… You're acting all, sweet… All this time I've completely misjudged you."
"Well, hey. There's a lot of things you don't know about me…" I laughed a little, rubbing the back of my head all bashful like. "You're embarrassing me… And look, I'm sorry about what happened earli-"
"No, Scott." Courtney immediately corrected me. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have tried to push you away when you were only trying to help… Like you said before, it's my pride that blinds me from reality. I should've just been open with you from the very beginning and not give into my stubborn tendencies…"
I noticed the frown returning to her face as she lowered her head at me, rather ashamed of the way that she had acted around me earlier. But she eyed me in confusion as I just sort of smiled at her. "Well, it's who you are. Nothing to feel all bad about… Besides, I kind of like it when you're all moody like this." I couldn't help but tease her a bit, adding a playful wink in there. I saw her mood lighten up a bit, but was caught completely off guard once she threw her arms around me.
"Thanks, Scott…" Courtney softly spoke in my ear, and that alone with enough to send chills down my spin. I couldn't deny it: I was madly in love with her, but I just had to face the facts on how we were never gonna work out… It's a sad truth that I've gotta face.
After she broke away from me, we both just stood there all silently for a minute before I decided to continue our little discussion. "Well, seems like it's getting awfully late out. I don't wanna just have ya walk back out in the dark like this, so I think it would be probably best if you stayed here for the night. I mean, if you're alright with it, anyway… Either way, it's up to you."
"I like that idea." Court happily nodded back at me in response, which instantly made me smile on the inside; my heart was just melting at the very sight of her right now. She was just too perfect… But I knew I was never gonna have her.
"Well, anyway. Just make yourself at home." I kindly offered, gesturing around the room. "My place is yours. My parents ain't exactly in town right now, so we pretty much have the whole place to ourselves."
That's when Courtney started looking long and hard at me over something, and I couldn't help but get a little worried over it. "Umm, is something wrong?"
"It's just…" she slowly began, once again avoiding eye contact with me. "Why are you doing all this for me? I mean, I didn't exactly treat you the best… If anything, I was a lousy friend to you. I just don't think I'm very deserving of your kindness…" I could tell Courtney was feeling a little depressed again, as I just sort of stood there biting my lip looking like a total idiot; I knew I had to quickly think of something so I wouldn't end up losing her again.
"Hey, don't be all like that…" I assured her, lifting her chin up so I could get her to look me straight in the eyes. "Like I said earlier, we're friends. And how I'd be willing to do anything I can to help you out. Don't doubt yourself anymore, Courtney. Because I know this ain't the real you… You're strong, independent, and the most intelligent gal I know. And whatever happened, happened… Whatever this thing was that happened to ya, it's not the end of the world… Every life has it's fair share of obstacles, but ya just gotta saddle up and take a bull by the horns, if you get my gist…"
Dang, whenever did I start yammering on about all this philosophical crap? Well, I think I might've known what happened: my feelings for Courtney had finally overcome me, to the point where it just kind of all started overflowing on out of me. I didn't regret a thing either because I meant what I freaking said, and it definitely got her attention again.
"So, get yourself cleaned up, take a shower if ya have to." I informed, seeing as how she was a little more content with herself again. "You're welcome to my bed, if ya want. I can always just sleep on the couch downstairs."
Courtney looked at me with genuine emotion in her eyes, and it was enough to make my heart stop beating… But I'm rather glad that we kinda sorted things out. And about Court's problem, I wasn't gonna pressure her into telling me it… I wanted her to do that on her own once she felt more comfortable enough sharing it with me, because I had total respect for that.
It was almost a quarter till eleven, so I felt like hitting the sack soon… I ripped my jeans off and quickly slipped on my red sweatpants to get more comfortable. I then lie myself down on the wooden sofa and stretch my legs out, staring at the ceiling fan and thinking about how Courtney's doing… It's like I've become a lovesick puppy, or something. Because normally, I like barking out orders and having others do stuff for me, but whenever I'm with Courtney… I'm the exact opposite. She just has that kind of effect on me, as humiliating as that sounds… But I didn't care! As long as she was happy, I'm happy! And that's all that mattered to me at this point on…
It wasn't too long until I completely passed out, that is, until I felt something shaking me awake. I couldn't help but scowl slightly as I slowly opened my eyes to find the perpetrator behind my rude awakening…
"Scott? Scott! Come on, get up!" I squinted my eyes a little more, and eventually made out the blurry image in front of me.
Ok, the world must seriously hate me right now… It's the only explanation! There, towering above me in nothing but a bathrobe, was Courtney. Her brown hair even looked a little wet as she just stood there hovering above me; guess she must've showered while I was sleeping. I just continued staring at her like a freaking moron, my face flushing up like hell!
That's when the sound of her voice freed me from the trance. "Scott, I don't have anything to wear to bed. Is there anything around here that I could possibly borrow?"
I slowly got up, just scratching my head and looking around the room nervously. "Umm, sure. Just wait here, and… I'll find ya something." I then quickly dashed up the stairs to my room, and began rummaging on through all the drawers. I grew frustrated as I continued on digging through all the crap in my dresser; let's face it, none of my pit stained shirts were gonna cut it for this girl… My eyes then grew wide once I pulled something out from underneath all the crud, and I just slapped my forehead: what the hell is ma's nightdress doing in here? Well, it was her nightdress until she grew out of it. Pappy must've mixed up the laundry for like the billionth time again… But I cut him some slack, because hey, old age will do that to ya. Plus, even if this ain't really mine, it did sort of fit Court's slim figure; I bit my lip a bit just blushing at the thought.
I then ran back downstairs and presented her with it. "Umm… Here. It used to be my ma's, but you know…"
"Thanks, Scott." she smiled sweetly at me, taking it right out of my hands. Courtney looked at the yellow silk nighty with the tacky bluebonnet design and grinned right back at me. "It does look a little, old. But it definitely has character; your mother has good taste."
I smiled back a little at her as I watched her go back upstairs to get changed. "I'll check up on ya in a little while to see how you're doing, Ok?"
"It's a deal." she nodded right back, shutting the door behind her.
I anxiously made my way up the stairs to my bedroom, still feeling a bit groggy from the lack of sleep I'd gotten… I knew I was freaking tired and all, but I wanted to check on Courtney one last time before I hit the hay completely, just to see if she was doing alright. I slowly cracked open the door, just in case she was already passed out, but it turned out she was still lying awake with her nose buried in a book.
I just sighed in relief as I continued on looking her over; I don't know what the heck I was so worried about… Maybe I'm just being a tad bit too overprotective; I've gotta learn to give the girl some air instead of just popping in every couple of minutes. Thankfully, she didn't seem to mind it all too much as Courtney slowly looked back up at me, smiling that signature smile of hers. "Oh, hey Scott. Didn't hear you come in… You know, I do think it's rather sweet of you to be constantly checking up on me like this. It's like I'm being waited on hand and foot." She couldn't help but jokingly laugh a little, while I followed suit.
"So, is my bed comfy enough for ya?" I inquired nervously, making sure it was enough to satisfy her needs. "Because if it ain't, I could always…"
"Scott, the bed's fine." Courtney cut me off mid sentence, the firmness returning to her voice. "What I don't find very fine is the fact that you insist on sleeping on that crappy, wooden sofa downstairs… I mean, I wouldn't mind so much if we, well, you know…"
"Ya mean, sleep in my bed with ya?" I felt my face going red again, but shook the feeling away. "Look, thanks but no thanks, Court. I'd much rather just-"
But before I could finish, Courtney yanked me to her without any warning and plopped me down right next to her and started… Cuddlin' me. Ok, who are you and what the hell have you done to the real Courtney?! Seriously, though. This was pretty out of left field for her… She was acting more friendly around me now than usual, if you get what I'm saying. I mean, I know she hugged me earlier and all, but still… This was a little too much for me to freaking handle.
Eventually, I just sort of rolled with it and slowly wrapped my arms around her. This was still pretty awkward all things considering, but hey, I wasn't just gonna pass up a cuddling session with Court; I could just imagine the look on her boyfriend's face right now, but then my mind quickly switched over to imagery of him beating the living daylights out of me… I cringed in fear a little just thinking about it.
Courtney eventually shut her eyes and dozed off finally, her head nuzzling against my chest; I could feel her warm breaths through my shirt and hitting my skin, making me tingle all over. It's fascinating how she makes me feel this way. Oh, who am I kidding! She's fascinating… Not only is she attractive as heck with a great personality, but she's also full of surprises… Sure, she tends to yell at me whenever I manage to tick her off like I did today, but hey, I kind of liked it. Plus, Courtney always looks so cute whenever she goes off on me after I say stuff wrong. I ain't weird or crazy, I'm just telling it like it is.
I gently combed my fingers through her hair, causing her to stir a bit. I immediately stopped and just looked at her sleeping, smiling warmly. "Night, Court. Hope you sleep well." I soon let out a yawn and eventually fell asleep alongside her.
All was peaceful until I felt a kick to the leg jab me awake, causing me to immediately sit upright in my bed; my eyes grew wide with concern once I saw Courtney squirming in her sleep. Was she… Dreaming? Well, whatever dream it was, it clearly wasn't a pleasant one. I did the only thing I could do, and that was by shaking her awake.
"Courtney! Courtney!" I called out to her subconscious almost urgently. "Get up! You're dreaming!"
She soon stopped, and slowly opened her eyes and looked at me: I saw fresh tears running down her face, and watched as she brushed some of them away. Apparently, she had been… Sleep crying? Is that really a thing? Well, anyway. Courtney was wide awake again, and I instantly knew that something fishy was up; no way was she gonna be able to get out of this one… I just wanted Court to be straight with me instead of hiding all this crap.
"Courtney, I understand that it ain't really any of my business to know, but… After that display, I can't help but feel a tad bit concerned for ya. Now, what seems to be the problem?" I looked at her with genuine concern while she just sort of sat there anxiously rubbing her arm: just by the agitated look in her eyes, I could tell that this wasn't such an easy thing for her to muster, but I continued on being patient with her as we just sort of sat there staring.
Finally, Courtney managed to choke out a verbal response. "I had a dream… About him… Kissing her…"
"About who, Court?" I questioned, wanting to get to the bottom of things. "Who was kissing who?"
She continued on looking at me, before her eyes flooded with tears as she began sobbing heavily into my shirt. "Why did this have to happen?! Why now?! When everything was going so perfect…"
"What was, Court?" I asked, softly trailing my hand down her back. "Come on, you can tell me…"
I then noticed that her crying had died down a bit, as I slowly lifted her chin up to look at me; Courtney's eyes were still leaking a bit, but I soon brushed away a few of them with my free hand, causing her eyes to fill up with affection towards me.
After finally having soothed her, Courtney took a deep breath and told me her story:
Flashback…
I was driving down the worn out pavement late at night, a little after ten, as I kept my eyes adjusted to the stretch of road in front of me.
I wasn't alone, however, as two other passengers were occupying the back seat: Gwen, one of my closest and dearest friends, and Duncan, my long-term boyfriend that I had been dating for two and a half years exactly. We had all just got back from seeing a movie together, and I had informed them that I had to make a stop by the school on the way home: as the head of the homecoming committee, it was my duty to make sure that the dance preparations were coming along accordingly, even if it meant stopping by campus during after-hours.
I immediately slammed the car door once parked in the driveway, as I slowly turned my head to look at them in the car. "You guys just wait out here for now while I go inside to check how things are doing. I shouldn't be long. I'll be back in a sec."
"No problem, princess." Duncan assured me, looking suggestively at Gwen. "We'll both be fine out here."
My back had been turned when he said that, so I had no idea that my boyfriend was actually being all flirtatious around my best friend, and I could only imagine that she was smiling at him, too.
I quickly headed inside the school and closed the door behind me, unaware that this would completely bite me in the ass.
Fifteen minutes later, I emerged from the building with papers in hand, eager to get home after the events of this long and tiring day. Once I reached the front view of my car, I didn't see either Duncan or Gwen, as I stood outside the vehicle looking rather puzzled. As I got closer to the door, I heard noises coming from the back seating area of the car, and I looked through the window to make my horrifying discovery: there, right there on the flooring of the backseat, was Gwen and Duncan in the middle of an intense make out session. At that very moment, I felt feelings of absolute dread, sorrow and betrayal pierce me right through the heart as I looked on aimlessly.
I dropped everything I was carrying onto the blacktop of the school, and just ran off… Sobbing.
End flashback.
Courtney had started crying again once she got through telling me, both of us now lying down gently on my bed as I continued to comfort her; I could only imagine that just retelling the memory itself was painful for her, so I really couldn't blame her all that much… Technically speaking, if our roles were reversed, I would've completely disowned Gwen from ever speaking to me again, and I'd kick Duncan's ass right in front of her while I was at it. Either way, I wouldn't have allowed either of them to get away with this kind of crap scotch free, because I ain't one of those folks that can just sit idly and not watch them get theirs.
I felt my sleeveless white shirt get completely soaked as Courtney continued on bawling right into it. "I just wish there were more guys like you…" I felt my face heat up at her compliment towards me as I continued on holding her.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked her curiously, my voice soft and soothing.
"It's just… I know you'd never cheat on me if we were dating." the brunette continued, choking on her tears. "Because you're loyal and you'd never do anything to hurt me like that. There are so many other qualities I could list, but I'm much too distraught to."
My face just kept getting redder and redder at each remark she had made about me, my throat going completely numb; Courtney had no idea that this situation was just about as hard for me as it was for her. I soon swallowed my fear and finally said something.
"That's really sweet of ya to say, Court." I grinned back at her, my eyes planted right on her. "I couldn't be anymore happier to be your friend, supporting ya every which way you go."
Her lips soon formed a grin as she looked at me, as I dried away the last couple of tears on her face. "You really mean that?"
"Of course, Courtney." I replied without hesitating. "I'll always have your back, and if that two-bit crook ever does anything else to hurt ya, give me a call and I'll kick him in the arse."
We both just laughed, as Courtney slowly snuggled in the crook of my neck, her heart beating perfectly against mine.
I might not ever be her perfect dream guy, but hey, a guy can dream.