Welcome to the Harry Potter Christmas Special! This is a One-Shot! Will contain SLASH! Will contain TWINCEST! (Though very brief.) You have been warned! And I'm not sure if Fred and George are one year above the Trio or two, so let's just say it's one. And let's just say Spello-Tape doesn't exist. Oh…you'll see.
Summary: Dumbledore decides to have a Christmas Party for the seventh years and as a special treat have muggle alcohol. And who to assign the decorating to but the Gryffindor Trio, hyped up Ravenclaws, flamboyant Hufflepuffs, vain Slytherins, and Draco Malfoy? Slashiness ensues. Het ensues. But there's still more slashiness. Pairings a many.
Note: Interestingly, we don't get to the actual party…
Pairings: Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione, Blaise/Terry, Zacharias/Ernie, Pansy/Pansy, and Luna/Invisible Shmurfpuff.
Oh dear! There's only one Het coupling! Oh what to do? OH! I know! Let's turn it into SLASH! Oh wait…we can't do that, we must have some variation at least. Gosh, am I obsessed.
BIG NOTE: You're all probably wondering why I've updated this for a note. I know lots of people have been asking me to continue this fic and it will continue in The Harry Potter Easter Special, which, knowing me, will probably come out around summer time. Be on the look out!
###
The Great Hall was silenced almost immediately after Dumbledore rose from his seat. He took about ten minutes looking at each and every person in the Great Hall, his blue eyes twinkling merrily.
This was not good.
"I have decided, after many 'discussions'" he glanced at Snape, "with the Professors that we are going to have a Christmas Party!"
Not good at all.
Students all around took a shaking breath. Dumbledore smiled widely and continued.
"Ah, but it will be a party like no other. Without adult chaperones and more importantly with the lovely muggle drinks they call 'alcohol'."
Or not.
The muggle born students jumped from their seats and cheered, but Dumbledore did not stop there.
"However, it is only for the sixth and seventh years." The said years let out cries of joy, now not being forced to share their fun with the younger years. However, this earned cries of outrage from the fifth and fourth years. The younger years were too innocent for alcohol after all. Interestingly, Dumbledore still went on.
"I have chosen three representatives from each House to help prepare. Gryffindor: Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley. Hufflepuff: Hannah Abbot, Ernie McMillan, and Zacharias Smith. Ravenclaw: Terry Boot, Cho Chang, and Luna Lovegood, and Slytherin: Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, and Blaise Zabini!"
On the other hand, yes maybe it was.
"WHAT???" Harry and Ron both flew from their chairs and stared at Dumbledore. Draco simply rose from his seat and crossed his arms looking at the Headmaster, his chin tilted upwards.
"I would like to say on behalf of my housemates that we would not agree to work in such a…hostile environment." He said haughtily tossing the Gryffindor Trio a sideways glance. Hermione got up angrily.
"Oh yes, you would know all about hostile environments would you Malfoy?!" She spat. Draco blinked and turned back to the Headmaster, smirking.
"See what I mean?" Hermione's cheeks turned red. She had just been tricked! "Mudbloods are so incompetent…"
"Mr. Malfoy!"
"50 POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!"
"Don't exaggerate McGonagall." Said Snape calmly. "You look puffy when you exaggerate." McGonagall stared at him.
"Well, we can't have that!" Dumbledore said cheerily. "30 points back to Slytherin please!"
"WHAT??"
"Severus was quite right Minerva, you do look puffy. Maybe Poppy would have a potion for it…?"
"Ahem! I believe we were discussing the, er, arrangements?" Hermione's voice rang out. The teachers momentarily forgot about McGonagall's complexion.
"I'm sorry Ms. Granger," said Dumbledore, not sounding very sorry at all, "But it has been decided. House unity and all." He smiled brightly. "You will begin decorating the Great Hall while the other students will have an extended visit to Hogsmeade after breakfast. You have one day; your supplies are in the corner. Good luck!" With that said, the others were ushered out leaving a bewildered bunch of students.
"This is an outrage!" cried Cho Chang, the natural leader. "I think the Slytherins should be excluded from the project!"
"And leave you tasteless freaks to decorate? I think not!" said Pansy snottily. Draco smirked, silently agreeing. Gryffindors were positively rubbish at interior decorating.
"Blaise, be useful and get these boxes over here." He commanded, waving his hand. The ever-silent Slytherin nodded and levitated three large boxes to the middle of the room. Instantly after, the boxes flew right back. Strange giggling followed.
"Well, it looks like we aren't allowed to use magic." Said Hermione uncertainly. She waved it off. "If there's going to be a party I think we should move the tables out of the way, no?" she smiled an uncharacteristically evil smile. "Boys?" Cho, Hannah, Luna, and Pansy cackled cruelly and sat on a bench near Hermione.
"Well, go on." Said Cho innocently. Luna took out a copy of The Quibbler, crossing one leg over the other. The boys stared at each other.
"Rule 1, 978 of the Malfoy Family Code of Honor clearly states that household chores are below ones worthy of the Malfoy name!" said Draco, puffing his chest out. He walked over and sat next to Pansy, Blaise following him like a puppy. "Go on peasants, do your work." He waved at them.
"Well Malfoy," said Ron nastily, "since you're afraid of lifting a few tables that will make you a pansy now wouldn't it? Not that you weren't one before mind you, all Slytherins are." The others laughed. Draco raised an eyebrow.
"Better be a pansy Slytherin and completely healthy rather than a valiant Gryffindor with aching muscles. May I?" he motioned towards the tray full of lemon drops that rested on Hannah's lap.
"I don't see what's so wrong with being Pansy…" said Pansy to herself, a rather hurt look on her face.
"Well, Ravenclaws are too intelligent for such medial labors." Said Terry, plopping down next to Blaise, who offered him a lemon drop.
"I don't like cleaning." Said Ron grumpily and sat next to Terry. Harry, being left alone with two hard working Hufflepuffs decided to do the noble thing and helped them move all the tables. Zacharias Smith looked at Harry angrily and was about to go sit down himself but was stopped with a meaningful glance from Ernie. He smiled and fluttered his eyelashes at him flamboyantly, earning a raised eyebrow from Harry. Oh well, the Gryffindor thought, whatever gets more people to help me with these tables. When the three sweating teens finished the work they glared furiously at the lazy smirking bums who observed them all the way through. Luna, realizing they were done stood up.
"I think we should start with the spinachtoe." She said dreamily, eyeing Ron. Everyone looked at her oddly.
"Luna, don't you mean mi-" started Hermione.
"Don't say the M-word! Don't you know that it's the Invisible Shmurfpuff's archenemy? We can't say the word in their presence!" She said angrily. The others shrugged, not really caring but agreeing nonetheless, everyone knew that arguing with Luna was pointless. And everyone also knew of the incident last year when some poor third year said the M-word in her presence. The Ravenclaw Common Room was never the same.
"Alright!" Cho clapped her hands together. "Harry, Malfoy you can work on the mi-uh, spinachtoe. Remember that it has to be all around the school as well, Christmas is a time for love and kisses! Parkinson, Hermione and I will start planning the entertainment. Zabini, Terry and Ernie prepare the snacks and alco…alco…er…"'
"Alcohol, you ingrate." Scowled Draco. Even those of the purest blood knew not to be stupid enough to ignore such fine drinks, be they muggle or troll.
"Right." Said Cho tightly. "And Hannah, Luna, and Zacharias can start on the decorations. Ron…you're tall, you can decorate as well. Okay, everyone know their jobs? Great! Let's get to it!" Everyone quickly found out that Cho was one of those people that really got into the Christmas spirit.
And so the fun begins.
"This is so not the way I wanted to spend the weekend."
"It's not exactly my lifelong dream either Malfoy."
"Humph, I wouldn't be surprised."
"Shut it, you git."
"Is that the best you can do, Scarhead?"
"Why, you-"
"Ahem!" both sixth years stopped their arguing to face Cho Chang, who was suddenly wearing a Santa hat. "You haven't even left the Great Hall yet! How do you expect to finish decorating the whole school with mi-SPINACHtoe by tomorrow if you keep arguing like this! I will start the inspection in exactly five hours and if I do not find all of the Hogwarts doorframes singing with green plants, someone will get injured! NOBODY ruins my Christmas!" She finished with glare to match Snape's and pushed the startled pair out of the Great Hall, two bags of mi-pardon, spinachtoe in their arms.
"And don't set FOOT in this room until you're done!" she roared, and slammed the door loudly.
"Well," started Harry uncomfortably, "We best be started." Draco nodded sheepishly.
"Agreed." And so, the unlucky pair headed off to the Entrance Hall, to hang the very first spinachtoe on top of the door.
"Get a ladder Potter." Stated Draco after looking up at the doorframe. Harry glanced at him dubiously.
"Why should I get it? You do it." Draco sighed exaggeratedly.
"Must I repeat Rule 1, 978 of the Malfoy Family Code of Honor every second? We. Are not. House elves. Is that clear? Good, now you know how Chang gets, we need to get this done. Ladder, now." He pointed to the nearest broom closet, silently daring Harry to disagree. The other boy's shoulders sagged slightly and he obeyed, too tired to argue. They had a long day of spinachtoe hanging ahead of them after all.
"Alright, so I hold, and you tape." Said Harry, setting up the ladder. Draco blinked.
"Tape?" Harry looked at him incredulously and pulled out the roll of duck tape out of the bag. How ironically convenient, using tape to stick plants on top of a door of a school of magic. Draco apparently, wasn't amused.
"What is this muggle contraption?"
"Tape is used to stick things on. Example." Harry cut a piece off and stuck it to Draco's lips, grinning smugly. He figured if Malfoy didn't know what tape was, he wouldn't know how to get it off either, and peace and quiet was much welcome.
"Potmerph! Gurgh flit blofgh!" Draco protested, afraid to touch the piece of offending material. Harry guffawed happily, being very tempted to call the others in, that is, until a very angry Malfoy pushed him up against the wall.
"Gurgh flit blofgh nowh!" Harry resisted laughing this time, now having a close up of a duck taped Malfoy, he couldn't help but grin slightly, unaware of impending danger. He looked kinda cute without the ability to talk.
………………………………..?????????????????????????????????????
It was then that Harry decided to take the tape off and never let it touch any part of Malfoy again.
"Ow! That is some dangerous muggle invention! Keep it away. Oh and Potter, if you ever do that again, be prepared for some lasting pain in your genitals. Now, let's do this." He pushed him away roughly and took a spinachtoe out of the bag, examining it carefully, muttering something about 'bloody holidays' and climbed up the ladder. Harry, slightly dazed, followed the blonde up the ladder. Draco held up the plant while Harry taped it and only realized they were both under it by the time they were done. But what they didn't realize is that this was special spinachtoe and it wouldn't let them get away that easily. Not a moment after Harry's hands left the plant both boys were flung towards each other and caught in a tight lip lock. They were so startled by the feel of each other's lips that both lost balance and fell off the ladder, landing in a pile of limbs.
"Malfoy! What the bloody hell did you do?!" yelled Harry, moving away from the Slytherin as quick as he could.
"Potter, you blithering idiot, I didn't do anything. Magical mistletoe, I should've known. Damn that old crackpot of a headmaster." Draco spat, eyes blazing. "Eurgh, great, now I have to spend the evening swallowing mouthwash. That was utterly sickening Potter, what did you have for breakfast?" He asked, not particularly into it, while wiping his lips roughly with a conjured up napkin. Harry glared at him, but a sudden horrifying thought occurred to him. Why wasn't he wiping his own mouth with a napkin? Didn't he want to? Remembering the incident with the duck tape he instantly decided not to get under any more mistletoe with Malfoy. Teeeerrible things could happen. That brought up another issue. How were they supposed to hang the plants around Hogwarts now? He voiced the question to Draco. The blonde looked at him with a mortified expression.
"If we aren't allowed to use magic on the supplies…" he paused.
Uh-oh.
"…then there isn't any other way."
###
"Muggle entertainment would be the best! It'd cost a lot less and would be very educational!"
"Shut it, Mudblood! I say Weird Sisters. Muggle music, what'll they think up next?"
"I'm sorry Hermione, I'm afraid I agree with Parkinson, muggle music would be…well…"
"Revolting?"
"Yes, that's the word I was looking for."
"MUGGLE MUSIC!"
"WEIRD SISTERS!"
"GIRLS PLEASE DON'T FIGHT! HEY! THAT HURT! AW-YOU, YOU LEAVE MY HAIR ALONE! THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DONE FOR!"
"AAAARGHHH!"
Yes, all was going well with the entertainment committee.
###
"Wow, I've never had alcohol before…" stated Terry, looking at the bottles apprehensively. Blaise looked at the vodka with the expression one would look with at their newborn baby.
"Bugger." He looked up. "Alcohol is just another word for heaven. And muggles must live in paradise." Ernie looked at him with distaste.
"Now, you see here missy, alcohol is bad for you. Humph, I should've known that Slytherins like that sort of thing." Blaise examined him for a moment.
"You've never had alcohol have you?" He grinned evilly when Ernie proudly shook his head. Grabbing the shocked Hufflepuff he tore open the bottle and poured the vodka down his throat. He came up sputtering and blinking dizzily.
"Where are you Zabini?! How dare you do that?? I'll tell Professor Dumbledore!" He said, weakly punching the air around him. After a few more minutes of entertainment for the others Ernie started to feel light headed and fuzzy.
"Ehehe, weeell, doesn't he look scrumptious." He giggled looking over at Zacharias. "Hic, must get, his, hic, hehehe." He started muttering nonsense and drunkenly stumbled over to the blonde who was hanging decorations.
"Well…this should be fun." Said Blaise amusedly, thinking that Draco would be extremely proud of him. He took a swig of the bottle and stumbled slightly. "Boot? Care to join in the fun? Hic." Terry looked around, searching whether anyone spotted a self respecting Ravenclaw drown out a bottle of vodka and grinned afterwards, giggling madly.
"Oooh, look at all the pretty colors, Blaise!" Blaise nodded eagerly and swung an arm around Terry's shoulder.
"I wonder if the others would like a, hic, drink."
"Nah, hehehe, Granger would have a cow. Oooh, look, she is a cow!" Laughed Terry.
This was fun.
But what do you know? Blaise soon got tired of the confusing conversation and felt the need to, ehe, have some different kinds of fun.
"Oh, Terry?"
"Hic, yes?"
"Do you see that broom closet? Hehe." Terry looked at him, realization dawning on his face. He grabbed Blaise's hand and soon the broom closet was locked and shaking and the bottles of vodka mysteriously disappeared from the table.
###
"Aw, look at the cutie-wutie wittle shmuwfpuff!" Luna exclaimed, seemingly stroking thin air.
"Well, that's a bit uncharacteristic." Said Hannah, her pigtails swaying slightly. Ron was too busy staring at Hermione and Pansy, seemingly in a bitch fight and Cho trying to break them apart. The sight of torn blouses and ripped skirts was positively riveting. Zacharias took one look at the arguing girls and sniffed disdainfully, turning back to the decorations. He wouldn't let useless Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, and Slytherins ruin the good work that he was doing. He smiled slightly. He was the only good Hufflepuff in the whole house. Well, except Ernie of course. He turned around, eyes searching for the short boy.
What as shame that he chose that moment to do so and forgot to scream when he was grabbed from behind and shoved into a broom closet.
###
"Are you suggesting that I agree to KISS you at my own will? Possibly over three hundred times???" Harry sputtered indignantly. Draco put on a sour expression.
"Why, yes actually. As much as it pains me to bring you any kind of pleasure it'd be better to do so and stay alive then go back to the Great Hall and suffer Chang's wrath." Apparently, Harry was still recovering from a previous remark to hear the rest.
"P-pleasure?!What????"
"You are such a twit Potter. It's amazing you even got to sixth year, what with your brains being nonexistent. Well, quit standing around looking like a fish, we need to hang these things." He motioned to the spinachtoe in his hand and walked over to the entrance of the Charms classroom and crossed his arms.
"I'm waiting." Harry took in a deep breath and giving in to fate, cut off a piece of duck tape and slowly walked over to Draco.
Meanwhile, the said Slytherin was looking at him appraisingly. Well, Draco thought, he's not too hard on the eyes and might even look tolerable after a few, sorry, a few hundred butterbeers…He smirked. No one needed a few butterbeers to make Draco Malfoy look tolerable. It comes naturally. I do hope Potter will be able to handle himself. He winced slightly, remembering the Marcus Flint incident two years before. It was only after finding that every single one of his towels were missing and his clothes were stolen once again, that he requested a separate changing room…
"Really Potter, you look like you're going to shag Voldemort for Merlin's sake!" Harry gritted his teeth and climbed up the ladder.
"Now, I would like to have no more bruises marring this perfect body of mine Potter." He held up the mistletoe. Harry looked at the offending plant.
"Are you absolutely sure there's no other way?" Harry paused and looked at Draco suspiciously. "Are you going to poison me?" Draco raised an eyebrow and put two fingers to his forehead, shaking his head.
"You aren't making this easier Scarhead. Do you think I actually want to kiss you? And yeah, of course, I foresaw this whole incident and now my lips are delightfully toxic. What, scared Potter?" he challenged, amazed at the Gryffindor's stubborn, well…'Gryffindority'. Harry narrowed his eyes, his patience running thin.
"You wish." He growled and grabbed the blonde by the shoulders, crushing their lips together furiously. Completely ignoring the other's gasp of surprise, Harry Potter was determined to prove his point by using the best weapon there is, was, and always will be…
Tongue.
###
"Well, I'd say, now there's a snog session if I ever saw one."
"Couldn't agree with you more Fred."
Fred and George Weasley had sneaked away from Hogsmeade not too long ago, eager to observe the students preparing for the party. The said twins were currently hiding behind statue of Didilus the Dodgy, observing two figures on the ladder, snogging as if the apocalypse was coming near.
"Hmm…is it just me or are they sort of leaning towards the broom closet?"
"They're on a ladder Fred. Besides why would they be…oh…OH, well, you certainly are-"
"Naughty? Why thank you dear brother."
"Indeed. I think we should-"
"Check up on the others? Yes, yes in a moment. Let's just watch a bit more-"
"FRED!"
"Oh, fine, but you promise that we'll open a few broom closets along the way?"
"Weasley honor Fred, now c'mon."
And with that, our favorite Weasley twins headed to the Great Hall, finding amusing surprises along the way.
"CLOSE THE BUGGERING BROOM CLOSET, YOU WEASLEY BUGGERS!" And with that, the first broom closet door was slammed in their faces by Blaise Zabini, who was very busy with a very drunk Terry Boot.
The twins were amused.
Luckily that wasn't the end of it since not too long after another door was slammed, well actually, gently closed in their faces by a grinning Ernie McMillan.
"Excuse me, hic, but we're kind of, hic, busy here, honey!"
However, those incidents couldn't even compare to what they witnessed next.
"By gods Fred, now that's what I call ripped material!"
"We should make something for that. Weasley's Wizard Winders we'd call it. Take with caution and only while wearing old clothes!"
"Fred, George!" They turned their heads reluctantly from the full-out bitch fight to their little brother Ron, who was covered with tinsel. "What are you doing here?" He quickly forgot that question when three screaming females rolled his way and knocked him off his feet.
"Hey! Hermione watch where you-OH MY BLOODY GOD!"
"RON! Oh my gosh, I'm SO sorry, I thought I was squeezing Pansy's-"
"No, no." Ron said breathlessly, while Cho and Pansy ran off to fix themselves up. "I kinda liked it…"
Hermione was dumbfounded.
Fred and George were amused.
"Why little brother, you are growing up! I think that's the most straightforward thing-" started George.
"You've ever said to a girl!" ended Fred. Ron looked at them and then at Hermione, who was staring at him dubiously.
"Well," he started shakily. "I think that, since it's Christmas and all…I wanted to tell you…that, um."
"He wants the two of you to shag!" said Fred merrily.
"Like rabbits!" added George.
"FRED! GEORGE!" Hermione said shrilly. "That's, that's-"
"Exactly what I wanted to say actually…" Ron said quietly. Hermione slowly…veeeery slowly turned to look at him. Ron cowered back, expecting to be beaten and yelled at. What followed was a bit of a surprise.
"Why didn't you say so sooner!?" Hermione laughed and Ron blinked, hoping against hope that it wasn't that dream again. So, throwing all hope to the wind he gathered her up in his arms and kissed her passionately. This really wasn't how Fred and George wanted things to end, SO…
"Repulsing!"
"Sickening!"
"Abominable!"
"Beastly!"
"Nauseating!"
"Gruesome!"
"Horrendous!"
"Unsightly!"
"Abhorrent!"
"Horrid!"
"Monstrous!"
"Heinous!"
"Odious!"
"Foul!"
"Gross!"
"Cloying!"
"Outrageous!"
"Revolting!"
"Vile!"
"Atrocious!"
"Despicable!"
"Dreadful!"
"Obscene!"
"Repugnant!"
"Ooh, that's a good one George."
"Thanks Fred…hey what were we insulting again? Oh yeah! That was positively-"
"YUCK!"
"Exactly! Ronnie, Ronnie what are you thinking? Hermione must be disgusted now! Wherever did you learn to kiss so horribly?" Ron sputtered indignantly and Hermione just looked at them, waiting for what was going to come. And she knew it'd be amusing.
"Well, well, why don't you SHOW me how it's done then??" Ron all but yelled at his offending brothers. They glanced at each other, smirking slightly. And then suddenly, without any warning whatsoever Fred put his arms around George's waist and pressed his lips to his brother's.
Noises were heard.
Sensations were felt.
The Great Hall was silent.
And after five blissful minutes the twins got up grinning.
"And that's how it's done Ronniekiens. Keep it in mind!" Said George.
Staring continued, while gaping joined its distant friend. Fred put his arms on his hips.
"If you think that was fun, wait till you see Harry and Malfoy making out in front of the Charms classroom!"
"WHAT?!?"
Yes, this was a start of a very merry Christmas indeed.
And a Yuletide, oh so gay…
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! And have a Happy New Year!!