The Zodiac
To Peppis, cause you love Astrology
(and because you're not feeling your best right now)
A/N: A little one-shot that I'm kind of fond of. It takes place in 1995, pre-HBP. I don't know if Ginny or Draco takes Divination but in this fic they do. It's not beta-ed but I hope you'll like it anyway.
This subject sucked. Trelawney was an old fraud and the stench of all incense she was burning was making him feel dizzy.
Divination was just a combination of logic and luck. With some logic guesses and a simple calculation of probability, half of the "seeing" was done. Then you had to be lucky. Trelawney was not smart or lucky. The only prophecy she'd ever gotten right was Potter's death and even he himself could predict that, really, it was just to look at the odds.
Today's lesson was even worse than usual, Professor Umbridge wasn't there but she'd been in the class before the 5th year Slytherins'. Trelawney was all upset, constantly interrupting herself with mutterings about 'horrid women who should pay some respect' and 'hired by Dumbledore himself'. He rolled his eyes and prepared for a long class. Vaguely he heard Crabbe snore to his left. Goyle was breathing annoyingly loud, it was like it required serious brainwork and concentration for him just to draw a breath and let it out. Moron.
Trelawney's next statement woke him up from his musings.
"As a Seer…" Right, like she'd know what anything was like, being a Seer. "The standard questions concerns money, power and above all, love." Merlin, why were people so stupid that they believed in love? Love was weaker minds that confused attraction, lust and liking with something unreachable and heavenly. Precisely, heavenly, it was nothing you found on earth. Besides, infatuation just made you act ridiculously. Just look at Pansy, she fancies herself in love with me and she's a Slytherin. People are so in love with the thought of being in love.
"Therefore, today we will study the zodiac. Page 900, find your sign and read. Begin!" He flipped the pages uninterestedly and found his paragraph.
'June 1st-10th , Nine of Gemini. Two things are unforgivable for the Nine of Gemini. One is to be unfaithful. The other is to be boring. Either one of these issues, even if suspected at, is enough for them to turn off the relationship. They also require your spotlight to be firmly turned upon them at all times or they can be very grumpy. Be prepared for lots of talk about what love is all about and where you are in the mutual bond, but action will be less prompt. Jealousy is to be watched out for.'
Well, if you looked for signs they were there. But that didn't mean it was actually true. Fine, he might want to have attention. With attention came spotlight and with spotlight came power. That was the only reason he'd overdone it a bit in his third year with the Hippogriff wound. He was no drama queen, for Merlin's sake! Besides, he still had faint scars and they were big, from his elbow to his wrist. Well, almost.
Jealous? Absolutely not. A bit possessive with his belongings maybe but with idiots like Crabbe and Goyle around you had to be. Of course whomever he slept with would not sleep with someone else as well. The thought was ridiculous. Malfoys didn't share.
Boring? It was obvious, wasn't it? Who would want to be with someone boring? Please.
Talk? Love? Sweet Circe, the day he talked about feelings was the day he took Granger the Mudblood for a drink and told her about them. This book was nutters. Like Trelawney.
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She was going to fall asleep any minute now. She didn't know why she took this subject. All her friends had said it sucked. And they were right too; she thought and wished that she'd listened to Hermione. Like this year wasn't bad enough already with Umbridge running around, clearing her throat behind your back when you least expected it. She looked around in the classroom that looked a lot like someone's grandmother's attic, half-expecting to see the toadey face of Umbridge pop up from behind some stuffy armchair. With a sigh of relief when she couldn't see the horrible woman anywhere she sunk back in her chair. She could just use the time for napping.
"Page 900. Now!" It seemed like Umbridge had been around recently, she mused. Trelawney didn't have even the tiniest inclination towards her usual dreamy voice. She was actually snapping. With a small shrug Ginny turned the pages and found the right one.
August 2nd to August 11th, Six of Leo. These people have the ability to wait for the perfect person to come along and more often than not they are right! Again and again they pass over reasonably good choices in what appears to be unreasonable manners, but they know that there is something and someone special out there for them and they are not content with anything other than the best in their love life.
Not that she believed in this or anything but it kind of fit her. She had maybe passed over some nice guys just because they were no Prince Charmings...But really, love...love was supposed to be so much more. It was supposed to be overwhelming, faithful to death, surrender of the soul, that was love. Not snogging in some corner with the only excitement being whether or not a prefect would catch them. Which had yet to happen since she wasn't the twins' sister for nothing.
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He doubted it was possible to be more bored. He could only pray he'd fall asleep so he wouldn't have to suffer anymore. But no such luck. He was condemned to be wide-awake and bored into oblivion.
"...discover your true self...Page 850..." Trelawney's voice proclaimed and disinterestedly he found the right passage.
The Gemini Man
Whatever he is doing at the moment he wishes to do something else. You can never be sure of his thoughts since it is natural for him to camouflage his feelings in self-defense. If he ignores you he is probably intensively aware of your existence and if his attention is turned upon you he probably does not care.
He is intelligent and often intellectual with a gift of the gab. He can talk his way to almost anything in such a charming way you probably never even realized it happened. Because of these talents he is the perfect guest at any party. He is social enough for three silent guests. A dinner with a Gemini man around is never boring, he radiates a charisma he has been blessed with and he will always be in the center of the attention.
He is bored with routines and needs constant change. Those are the reasons why he loves to travel; new places and people are like air for him.
Well...that was enlightening. So what if it fit perfectly. It was probably written to fit a lot of people. Everyone would love to have that description of themselves. That had to be it. Was this class never over?
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Just about when Ginny though the class would be over she remembered it was a double lesson. Damn. Trelawney was droning on and on about the signs of the zodiac and frankly being so boring about it that even her faithful fans were snoring discreetly. She was about to follow their example when Trelawney rattled off a page.
"850, please!" With an irritated snort Ginny flipped the pages so dust rose in spirals over the tome.
The Leo Woman
She is always in the center of the attention. Probably most in the center of the male attention. The Leo woman was born to be admired and thinks of most social meetings as a stage where she can play whatever she fancies.
She is impulsive, intense, unpredictable and enchanting. She also has a good sense of humor.
She is a skilled actress; life is her play and stage so she has had a lot of practice. She hates routine and everyday life. She dreams of traveling to places, romantic ones, like the Spanish Stairs, Venice, Taj Mahal, and Stonehenge. She is intellectual and spiritual and hates critique.
Pretty accurate. Spot on. It was kind of creepy, really. It shouldn't matter what time of the year you were born. That shouldn't rule how you became as a person. The thought was ridiculous. Well, Ginny, that's what this class is, ridiculous. And long.
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The Gemini Man
Love
He always has to assure himself of his intellectual superiority and if a woman gives in too easily he is frustrated. He wants to fight for it.
He is often known as a womanizer but it does not mean he is over-sexualized, he is just curious for new experiences.
The signs that suit him best are: Or is. The sign that matches this man is the Leo woman. He has got possibilities with Aries, Aquarius and Scales but the odds are on the Leo woman.
Leo is often content with doing it Gemini's way but she doesn't give in too easily and that stimulates him. These two will never be bored with each other, and that is the key to a happily ever after for the Gemini.
A Leo, huh? He didn't like that sign, it was too close to the Gryffindor symbol. Happily ever after, by the way? Who believed in such things?
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"Find who you will find your happily ever after with. Page 870!"
That was at least something interesting even if it was rubbish.
The Leo Woman
Love
This woman's popularity often results in a love triangle, to her delight or discomfort, she can't help it, and men find her to be the answer to everything they have searched for. It can be hard to cooperate with a Leo woman.
The signs she fits with are few and the man most likely to tie her down is the Gemini man. For short affairs Leo fits with almost any of the zodiac signs but in 'til death do us apart' he is probably the one to see her walk down the aisle to him and then face a happy marriage.
Gemini's natural instinct for what to say at the right time will help the two of them to cooperate and overcome the difficulties both of these signs have with sticking to one person through their lives.
A Gemini? She did a quick calculation and found out that Harry without a doubt was a Leo like herself. She checked the book for a Leo + Leo match. "Possible, but not ideal" That didn't sound good at all. Shut up Ginny, you're overreacting; we're talking about Divination here! It's not true! Accusingly she glared at the book until they were finally dismissed.
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Back again. Trelawney seemed a bit cheerier today and he saw that as a bad sign. She usually interacted with the students when she was in a good mood and that was scary. The woman hated him and used to predict all kinds of accidents and horrible deaths for him. He smirked. It was just that the accidents never occurred. Because she was not a Seer.
"Yesterday you read about your sign and found out which of the zodiac signs you'd be best off with. Today I will give you names." The whole class held their breath as the frail woman put twelve piles of parchment scraps on her desk. "These cards bear the names of the person you would find to be your true loves. As long as they are within the walls of Hogwarts. Some of you will receive blank cards, your one true love is somewhere outside. Some of you will receive names of people too old or too young for you. If the age had been right they would have been perfect for you. I have not touched the cards, they work in a peculiar way. They are always right and not many people get this close to advanced magic in their whole lives. All you have to do is touch the scrap of parchment and then put it in your book over the paragraph with your sign. Then close the book. When you open there will be a name on the card. Now take a card from the pile that belongs to your sign." He rolled his eyes and went to get a scrap in the pile marked Gemini. He put it in the book and closed it. All around him eager students flipped the pages to find the note again. He opened the book again and the letters on the note almost seemed to shine him in the eyes.
Ginevra Weasley
"Hey, what did you get, Malfoy? Someone ugly, cause you look pretty disappointed?" He swallowed. There was something wrong with his card.
"I got nothing. It was blank."
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"...Then close the book. When you open there will be a name on the card. Now take a card from the pile that belongs to your sign." This was a fun thing to do. For being in Divination it was great. She knew her card would probably say Harry but it would be fun if it was blank. Then she'd know she could love someone besides him. Carefully she put the card over her paragraph and closed. With an excited little sigh she opened the book. The letters on the card seemed to dance and quickly she closed the book. She'd read it wrong. Of course it didn't say...She opened the book again.
Draco Malfoy
She must have put the card over the wrong paragraph. There was no way...
"Hey, Ginny, got someone bad?"
"No...No, I got a blank."
Thirty Years Later
"I hate cleaning the attic. Why do we even do it? I mean no one's ever here. Why can't the elves do it?"
"Because they don't know what to throw away and what to save. We do. Or, I do, but you have to be up here because I like torturing you every fifth year."
"Witch."
"Thank you, for stating the obvious. Now let's start with that trunk over there. And don't roll your eyes at me."
"How come you get to have eyes in the back of your head?"
"Because I gave birth to our children that needed constant watching."
"So it's actually possible to learn?" She smiled easily at him.
"Well, you got to be pretty smart. And beautiful. And stunning. Charming. Amazing..." He smirked at her and leaned against a pile of boxes filled with their children's old favorite toys.
"I'm all that."
"...And female."
"Very funny."
"I know, I forgot that. You got to be funny too. Oh, look, it's our school books!"
"Er...Wow? You've read them before, they sucked and all you wanted to do when you had them was burn them. It's supposed to be 'ewww', love."
"You're so sentimental. Don't get too soppy." She lifted a book out of the trunk and started to flip the pages. "This is yours. Divination."
"Here's yours." He started flipping the pages too. A small scrap of paper slipped out and landed on his left shoe. "Are you sure that book is mine? Cause there's a scrap of paper with my name on it in this one."
"There's a scrap with my name on in this...But it says it's yours in the cover..." Her eyes widened suddenly. "Divination. 4th year. Love predictions. I got your name. Did you actually get mine?"
"Imagine my rejoicing." She laughed.
"Quite a lot has changed, hasn't it...Odd you know..."
"That we got each other's names? We found out we loved each other without predictions."
"No, I mean it's odd that Trelawney for once actually was right about something." He met her eyes and wondered what dark place his life would be if she hadn't been his.
"That is odd. But I'm glad she was right, Ginny." She looked up at him and wondered how horrid her life would be if she hadn't found him.
"Me too, Draco, me too."
A/N: I hope you enjoyed. If you did, leave a thought and I'd be delighted!
Most of the Astrology texts are accurate and cited from and the book Sexual Astrology by Martine.