Author's Note: I don't own V. They belong to their production companies and the actors and writers and directors... bla bla bla... Go ahead, flame if you want. I don't mind... really, I don't. Although I don't encourage you to flame... do we understand each other? Good. Hope you enjoy! (Hope you enjoy is another way of saying reviews, please.)
"There is always a choice. You just have to be able to see it."
Tyler's entire body shook, his hands felt numb. They twitched as he tried to start up his motorcycle. The key wouldn't go in. Tyler's head was throbbing, his vision was blurry and he felt like he was going to throw up and cry at the same time. He was going insane. This wasn't real. Lisa couldn't be a... no, Tyler forced his eyes shut and tried to block out the word. He didn't want to think of the conversation he just had with Lisa. This wasn't real. Lisa couldn't be... what she was. He was dreaming, he had to be dreaming.
"'Cmon, work.," Tyler muttered, trying to put the stupid key in to start up his motorcycle. Anger coursed through him, flooding every blood cell in his body. No, it wasn't anger. It was fury,
"Work, goddammit!" Tyler yelled, he tried to calm down. How hard was it to put a key in a hole? He sighed, his breath coming out ragged. Tyler closed his eyes and opened them. The key slid in easily. He turned it and the beautiful machine roared to life, producing a glorious sound that reflected his own rage. Tyler had to get out of here. Away from New York, away from the spaceships and Lisa and the rest of the lizards. Away from everything. His motorcycle purred under him. Tyler didn't care if he got a ticket or if he broke the speeding limit. That's why they were there in the first place, to be followed and then broken. He rode off into the streets of Manhatten, not knowing, or caring where he was going.
Lisa stood frozen in place, unable to move. She was too afraid to think, blink, or even breathe. What were the consequences of what she had just done? Why did she do it? Lisa answered these questions herself. He had to know. He was probably going to find out soon anyway. He left her. He said that he had to clear his head. But he would be back, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he? This question repeated over and over in Lisa's head. She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. She was going to collapse at any moment, burst into millions of pieces, never to be put back together again. Either that or she would burst into tears and curl up on the ground. No, she wouldn't. Lisa wouldn't be broken by him. Only her mother could do that. Keep your emotions hidden. Walk, Lisa. Walk forward and don't look back. Lisa told herself. She barely noticed or felt her legs touching the pavement. The rest of the world was hazy to her. She decided that she would walk and see where she ended up. Maybe it wasn't the most intelligent idea, but it was the best that she could think of.
The world became a blur. Tyler didn't even see the colors flying past him as he pushed his bike past the limit; it was all one color. Tyler didn't pay attention to anything around him. He still felt like he was dreaming. Maybe if he crashed into something it would be enough to wake him up. He wasn't dreaming. Tyler felt like he was in between worlds. He was at a point where he didn't know if he was awake or asleep. The only thing that was on Tyler's mind was her. Not her. The real her. Those golden eyes. Her teeth like daggers waiting to rip his throat out. But if she had wanted to would she have done it already? Probably. Her skin. Tyler felt a cold chill crawl up and down his spine, and it wasn't from the wind. He slowed his bike down and pulled off to the side of the road. It was deserted except for him. He was about pretty far from Manhatten by now. He didn't know how long he had been riding. Tyler pulled the key out of the ignition and banged his head repeatedly on the handlebars. Tyler had forgotten his helmet. He tried to sort things out in his head. I am awake. Lisa is a lizard. Why didn't she tell me before? Because she didn't think I'd stay? Does she think I'm a shallow bastard? I'm not going to leave her forever. Just long enough to figure this crap out! Tyler had that feeling in your gut when you know you're about to cry. He slammed his head on the handlebars, hard. He grunted from the pain in his head. Tyler gritted his teeth and looked up slowly. He would have to fill up on gas sometime soon if he was just going to keep riding nowhere. Tyler had to choose a destination. Not a final one, but a destination nonetheless. A place where his life had turned upside down in an instant. The place that had changed his life forever. Maybe the pain from that would overcome the pain he was feeling now. Tyler turned on his bike again and got back on the road. He knew where he had to go.
Lisa felt she had walked this path before but she couldn't place when she had. It didn't matter anyway. What was there to fight for when Tyler was gone? Nothing. Without him there was nothing. There was no point in fighting anymore. It would be so easy to die. All she had to do was take a quick trip up to the mothership, find her mother, and have an emotional breakdown in front of her. That would seal her fate. Then Tyler would be sorry. Lisa bit back the urge to cry. She felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach and something was weighing heavily on her was making it hard for her to breathe, like someone had ran her through with a sharp blade, taking part of her with it. It wasn't really a pain, it was more of an emptyness. She felt that she was missing something but she didn't know what it was. Lisa turned a corner and realized why it felt so familiar; in a few more blocks she would reach his street. Lisa stopped walking. She had nowhere else to go, so why not? Because of his mother. If she found out that Tyler left... Lisa didn't know what Tyler's mom would do to him, but it would be interesting to see, and maybe it would be good to talk to someone else. Lisa started walking again and pushed away the pain that threatened to consume her. Tears began to fill her eyes but she blinked them back hastily and kept moving forward.
Tyler slowed his bike down then sped up as he turned a corner. He sighed and let the memory come to him. It was better than thinking of Lisa, and yet worse.
"Is that why you left, so you didn't have to raise someone else's kid?" Tyler asked, the anger rising in his voice.
"No,Ty, I love you." His dad said gently. Tyler backed away. Then he left, with Lisa tagging along with him. They didn't say much to each other on the ride home. Tyler dropped her off at the Peace Ambassador Center and told her he was sorry for everything. She had said that there was nothing to be sorry for and went up to the mothership. Tyler had nowhere to go except home, where he stayed until his mom came back from work. Just hearing her voice had made his blood boil. How could she cheat on his dad? Then she lied about it, saying that she never did. Oh, sure you didn't. he had thought. Then the next day...
A smile tugged at Tyler's lips as he thought of the shuttle and then he felt sick as he reminded himself that Lisa was a lizard. It was one of the first things he thought of when Lisa had told him... no, he wasn't going to remember the last conversation they had. He wouldn't. Well one good thing came out of this, at least she isn't knocked up. Tyler thought and then had a horrible image of a half lizard half human baby. It's golden eyes and green skin and sharp fanglike teeth. Tyler shuddered and growled. Damn lizards. Dammit, I just damned Lisa. Lisa shouldn't be damned. But still, she didn't tell him. It felt as if the dreamlike state had burned away, but instead of leaving ashes behind, it left anger. Tyler wished that there was another road to go down, but there wasn't. Tyler slowed to a stop. Tyler wondered if he made a wrong descision about coming here. He took a deep breath and rode as fast as he could down the street and past his dad's house.
Lisa stood at the door of Tyler's house, fist poised and ready to knock. Knock, Lisa. Do it. It is not that hard. She thought. Lisa sighed, closed her eyes, and knocked three times. She guessed, and silently hoped, that Mrs. Evans wasn't home. Sadly, she was mistaken. Erica opened the door and smiled.
"Lisa, come on in. Is Tyler with you?" Erica asked. Lisa was frozen in place, the mention of Tyler's name sent her mind into chaos. Do not be weak. Be strong. Do not even think for a second of letting your emotions show. Hide them. Lisa told herself. She couldn't move. Lisa slowly shook her head. She was afraid to open her mouth because she would probably start crying.
"Lisa, what's wrong? Where's Tyler?" Erica asked, concern flooding her eyes. The walls she tried to build to block out her emotions were slowly crumbling. She had to fortify them somehow. Lisa tried her hardest to hide her emotions, to cover them up and ignore them. She had never felt this way before. Never this much pain. Lisa didn't move, she was afraid that if she did the walls would break. The emptiness wasn't as bad now, the pain not as much. She wouldn't let her emotions show, not this time. Lisa kept trying to strengthen the walls, to be untouchable. That's what she would try to be for the time being, untouchable.
"Lisa." Erica repeated.
Lisa fought back every emotion she could and opened her mouth to speak but she found that she couldn't. If she spoke then her voice would tremble, if her voice trembled she would cry, if she cried she would break. Lisa was so fragile. For a moment, when Lisa had helped blow up her mother's eggs she had felt invincible; no, she hadn't helped that much. Although she had gotten Joshua out of his blue prison cell. Joshua. Lisa was disgusted with him. The little... what had she heard Tyler say once, paisley? Lisa tried to ignore the pain in her chest as she thought his name. Pansy! That's what it was. Joshua was a pansy. Why didn't he just kill himself? Maybe because it was looked upon as an act of cowardliness. Lisa would rather have Joshua dead then have him be as he was now. Emotionless, the hollowness in his eyes that never left. The way he worshipped her mother. For a while he was the only person she could go to for help. He was her confident, the person that she could go to if she was confused about her emotions. He was the father she never had. But now he was just like the rest of them. Just like the rest of her mother's followers. Whenever she looked at him it made her sad. But whenever Lisa was around Ty... No... She wasn't going to think about him. Instead she realized that she was feeling a little bit better. Maybe Lisa could talk without giving her emotions away. Lisa looked at Erica, who looked as if she was going to shatter as well, but not from pain, from anticipation. Lisa took a shaky breath and walked past her. Erica closed the door and Lisa turned around. Bravery comes to you at the darkest of times.
"He...," Lisa began but found herself about to cry again. "left."
"What do you mean he left? Why did he leave? Where'd he go?" Erica asked. Lisa shook her head and gritted her teeth.
"I told him."
"What?"
"The truth. I told him and he just... left. I don't know where he went or when..." Lisa closed her eyes, in an attempt to stop the oncoming flow of tears. Her lower lip trembled.
"You showed him... and he just left?," Erica asked. Lisa nodded. "I'm going to kill him." The way she said it made it believeable. Lisa's eyes went wide for a moment then remembered that humans didn't actually kill their children. They were just punished severely. It was used in a metaphorical way. Erica pulled Lisa into a hug. Tears began to fall from Lisa's eyes.
"Don't worry. He'll come back," Erica said, then in a darker tone. "They always do... I'm going to see if i can get ahold of him." Erica walked into the kitchen to call her son. Lisa curled up on the couch. She listened closely to the phone conversation. His number was being dialed. The phone rang a few times. He wasn't answering. Lisa tried to block out the noise. She couldn't listen to his voice, at least not now. Instead, she focused on her pain. There was an emptiness that couldn't be filled, a weight that threatened to crush her, and an aching that filled her entire body. When Lisa thought of him or even his name, it felt like a slap in the face. Erica's voice repeated in her head. Don't worry. He'll come back. They always do. Lisa heard Erica talking in the kitchen and felt it was safe to listen again. She was dialing a different number. The phone rang a few times until someone picked it up.
"Hello?" It was Tyler's dad. Lisa felt her heart sink. If only she hadn't listened in on that phone conversation.
"Joe. It's Erica. Is Tyler there?"
"No... but why-"
"Have you seen him at all?"
"I think he went by here a few minutes ago, but I wasn't sure... why would he come here anyway, Erica?"
"Because, he has nowhere else to go."
"Are you sure he's not with his girlfr-"
"Yes, she's sitting right here. I don't know where the hell he went so if you thought you saw him, could you make sure that it's him?"
"Does she know where he went?"
"No. Look, just find him, okay?"
"What happened?"
"I'll tell you later. If you were Tyler where would you go?"
"I don't know, I'm not Tyler."
"Think of the last place Tyler would be."
"In a gay bar."
"No, Joseph! I'd better go. Find him. Now."
"Hold on... I think I know where he might be."
"Great. Have him call me if you find him." The line went dead and Erica hung up the phone and walked into the living room.
"Lisa, are you hungry? There's some leftover pizza in the fridge." Erica offered. Lisa shook her head and the weight threatened to press her to the couch. Pizza. Of course, it had to be pizza. It was what Tyler and her had eaten on their first date. Lisa gritted her teeth and didn't want to think of the memory. She forced herself not to cry. Crying was a sign of weakness.
"I don't know why I did it. What was I thinking? That he would be okay with it?," Lisa let out a crazed laugh. "That he would just act as if nothing ever happened? I mean... I guess it's because I couldn't think of any other way to protect him. I'm tired of playing my mother's games. He needed to know. He was going to find out anyway." Lisa said, anger flowing through her. It spread like a wildfire. It helped hide the pain.
"If you don't kill him, then I will." Lisa stated icily.
She was losing her mind, but she meant what she said. If he didn't come back within a few weeks she was going to leave him on the threshold of death. Lisa couldn't handle this pain for a day, less than a week or two. She couldn't wait to feel his warm blood flowing across her skin. There was something wrong with her. She wasn't like this. Ever. She had never wanted to hurt anyone before, except her mother. Erica was looking at Lisa in a what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you type of way. Lisa focused on the floor, her eyes following it's pattern. The anger was diminishing and the pain was returning.
Lisa hated Tyler. If he were to walk through that door right now she didn't know whether she would slap him or hug him. Even if she did hug him, he would probably push her away. Of course he would. Reptiles were considered demonic to humans. That was why they had to replicate human D.N.A., so that they would be accepted. They would make sure this planet was suitable enough to fit their needs, and once it was, they would be accepted by humans, earn their trust, weave their way into controlling them, once they were able to gain control over this earth, they would conquer. Then dispose of all unneeded materials. Leaving water, land, food, shelter, and sunlight. They could create a whole new life here. The plan seemed so similar to her assignment with him. She was to make sure he was the right person, earn his love and trust, slowly begin to control him, and once she had control over him, Lisa was to use him. For what Lisa didn't know and wasn't sure she wanted to find out. After she uses him she is to sever all ties with him. To act as if none of this had happened. It would be as if he never existed. As if he never existed. Without him there is no point in living. Or is there? Could there be someone out there who could love me as I am if Tyler doesn't? The idea made Lisa sick. To love someone other than Tyler? There was no one else she wanted. Lisa couldn't think of anyone else she even wanted as a friend who was male except... Joshua. No, he was too much like a father to her. Besides, there had never been anything romantic between them. Lisa pushed the thought away. There was silence until Erica spoke.
"Do you want to stay here tonight?"
"No. I would but... there's too much of..." Lisa's voice trailed off and felt the emptyness weigh heavily on her. But Erica finished the sentence for her.
"Him here." Lisa didn't have to nod for Erica to know that she was right. Lisa suddenly realized what she had done by coming here. She remembered one of his memories; the one about his dad leaving. Erica had felt this way before. Lisa had just reminded her of the pain. She had reminded Erica of memories and emotions that weren't meant to be remembered. Lisa hadn't helped anybody by coming here. She had just made things worse. Lisa felt an emotion she knew all too well. Shame.
"I'm sorry for coming here." Lisa muttered, standing up to leave.
"No, it's okay, Lisa. Don't be sorry. I probably would have called you anyway. Where are you going to stay, though?" Erica asked.
"I'll stay at some hotel. I'll be fine." Lisa said.
"Do you need a toothbrush or anything?" Erica asked.
"Sure, thanks." Lisa said. Erica began to walk upstairs and Lisa looked out the window, watching the sun begin to set behind the houses and slanting along the street, creating dark shadows. Lisa's heart sank deep into the pit of her stomach and she felt as if she was suffocating. The pain was beginning to slowly rip her apart. Lisa closed her eyes for a few seconds, keeping the water from flowing from her eyes, to keep the weight from crushing her lungs. Lisa took a deep breath, which didn't feel like a breath at all, and opened her eyes. For a moment she could swear she saw Tyler riding down the road on his motorcycle. Lisa's phone vibrated in her pocket. Hope surged through her, causing a smile to spread across her face. Lisa pulled the phone out of her pocket and looked at the name of who was calling. Lisa's blood ran cold, she wasn't able to breathe. Her body started to shake. This was not good. Lisa cleared her throat and got herself under control. Then she answered the phone.