In a Wizarding Minute

by thistlemeg

Parody of Don Henley's "New York Minute" sung by Dumbledore, Remus, and Sirius set before PoA. Give it a try.

Author's Note: I was listening to this song and had a sudden urge to do a Harry Potter version of it. Naturally, it ended up a MWPP. Kinda dark and depressing. Works best if you're listening to Don Henley's "In a New York Minute," the song parodied here.

The scene is pitch black. We hear footsteps, and a whisper, "Lumos." DUMBLEDORE appears, and begins to sing softly:

Harry got up
Dressed all in black
Went down to the station
And he never came back
To the Muggle world quite the same
Followed a whole new track
And he won't be stuck on Privet Drive
all year long

The music continues to play. DUMBLEDORE says softly, "But what happened before that?" He waves his wand and on our right, an unshaven man with long, matted black hair and ripped robes sits in the corner of a dank cell. DUMBLEDORE then waves his wand to the left, revealing a man in a dingy room lit by a dull candle. REMUS sings:

James had a home
The love of a girl
But friends get lost sometimes
As years unfurl
Once we would have given our lives
Than cross over to that world
But I guess it didn't matter anymore

DUMBLEDORE, REMUS, AND SIRIUS:

In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Everything can change
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Things can get pretty strange
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Everything can change
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)

REMUS sings:

Lying here in the darkness
Hears his parents wail
Somebody going to sacrifice
Somebody's going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hang on tooth and nail
The wolf can tell you that for sure

DUMBLEDORE, REMUS, AND SIRIUS:

In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Everything can change
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Things can get a little strange
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Everything can change
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)

DUMBLEDORE:

And in these days
When Dark Marks fill the air
And people rush home
To the ones they love

REMUS:

You better take a fool's advice
And take care of your own

SIRIUS:

One day they're here;
Next day they're gone

REMUS buries his face in his hands and is still, meanwhile SIRIUS stands up, begins to pace, singing:

I pull my cloak around my shoulders
Got no energy to even bark
Men are screaming all around me
I think of what happened one day so dark
On some solitary street
A desperate friend finds a Mark,
"It's all my fault. Please come back."

Dementors make it all cloudy
The heart fills with fear
The days were so much brighter
In the time when they were here
But I know there must be some way out
'cause my innocence is clear
Until that day, I have to believe
I believe, I believe

REMUS AND SIRIUS:

In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Everything can change
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
You can get out of the rain
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Everything can change
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Everything can change
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Things can get a little strange
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)
Everything can change
In a Wizarding minute (ooooh)

In the cell, a looming black-cloaked figure draws near, and SIRIUS transforms into a dog. REMUS turns back to a parchment on the table and begins to scribble. Both scenes fade out. DUMBLEDORE waits for the music to stop, then whispers, "Nox" and there is only darkness and the sounds of receding footsteps.


DISCLAIMER: "A New York Minute" was written by Don Henley, Danny Kortchmar and Jai Winding, and performed by Don Henley. All characters and themes from my version belong to J.K. Rowling.