For Cara, who I will miss immensely while she is away having the time of her life in Europe.
"I really don't have to go."
"Yes, you do."
"Really, it's not too late for me to back out. I can do this some other time—"
"When exactly do you plan on receiving this offer again?"
"It's not that big of deal…"
"Designing in Athens, Paris and Rome isn't a big deal?"
Blaine raised his eyebrows at the boy sitting on the bed; Kurt refused to meet his eyes. Kurt had been counting down to this for months; it was practically the only thing he talked about. He still couldn't believe it—one of his professors adored his work and offered him a one-of-a-kind internship over the summer. He would spend three weeks studying and designing in Europe, traveling to Greece, Italy, and France. 'Excitement' didn't even seem like the proper word to describe how he felt.
Now, the only word he would use to describe how he felt was dreadful.
Kurt had just finished packing his bags when he stormed into the living room and promptly told Blaine that he wasn't going to go. Blaine had coerced him back into the bedroom, sitting him back on the bed and now ready to figure out what's going through his boyfriend's head.
"Kurt, I don't understand. Yesterday you were ecstatic, and now you're telling me that you want to pass this by?" Blaine rubbed at the back of his neck, unknotting an imaginary kink.
There was a pregnant pause, and Blaine noticed Kurt's breathing was becoming staggered. He walked over to the side of the bed, kneeling down on the floor to look Kurt in the eye. Kurt, however, continued to bow his head and avoid his gaze. Blaine reached forward, taking Kurt's hand in his, intertwining their fingers, and gently rested his other hand on top of theirs.
"Talk to me here, Kurt. Let me know what you're thinking, please."
"I don't want to leave you." The words were barely above a whisper, but Blaine heard them loud and clear. A part of his heart felt as if it were rupturing. He didn't want to be the thing keeping Kurt back, never in a million years did he want to be responsible for Kurt not snatching up all of the opportunities he could. He didn't want to be the reason Kurt was unhappy… and Kurt definitely looked unhappy sitting in front of him.
"Oh, Kurt," he sighed, "It's just three weeks. It's not even a month…" He meant it as words of encouragement, putting a positive spin on everything. Kurt didn't hear it as such, though, if his sudden choke of a sob was any indication.
"Are you really not going to miss me?"
"NO! No, no, no! Kurt of course I'll miss you. I'm going to miss you like crazy!" Blaine stood up a little, taking a seat next to Kurt on the bed. He lifted a hand and used it to cup Kurt's face, stroking a thumb over his cheekbone.
"Kurt, this isn't easy for me either. When you first got this offer, I was a wreck inside. I don't want to go that long without you, but you… you're going to have the time of your life out there."
There was one little detail that Blaine hadn't overlooked about this trip, had been dwelling on from the very beginning, and he was sure it played a large part in Kurt's breakdown. During the course of the internship, there would be no communication to home. No internet access, no international cell phone use, nothing. It would be three weeks of absolute cut off from one another.
"You are going to be living such an extraordinary life for those three weeks, Kurt—"
"Without you."
Kurt's voice broke on the last word. Blaine was about to respond, but was distracted by his boyfriends trembling lip. Before he knew what was going on, he was burying Kurt in his arms, kissing the side of his head and whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Heavy sobs wrecked through Kurt's body and soaked through Blaine's shirt, but he didn't care. All Blaine wanted for his love to feel happy.
"I can't make you go, Kurt. I know that, but I think you should go. It's not that I want to be away from you, but I honestly don't want you to miss out on something as wonderful as this. I am so proud of you for getting selected to be a part of this program. You are so talented, and I want you to be able to showcase those talents to people who are going to take you far—"
"You're going to take me far,"
"Not in the fashion industry. I will always be here, Kurt. You aren't getting rid of me anytime soon. This, this chanceisn't always going to be here."
Kurt was still wrapped in Blaine's arms, but he slowly backed out of the embrace. He took a tissue that Blaine offered to him and wiped at his eyes. Blaine caressed the back of his head, pushing down the hairs that had fallen out of place.
"You think I should go?"
"I think you should go."
Kurt pushed his way through the airport terminal, lugging his carry-on bag behind him and making his way to the exit as quickly as possible. It wasn't easy, but eventually he made it through the crowd. There was a line of people across the room, families waiting for loved ones and drivers holding simple signs with a name. Kurt scanned the row of people, searching for that one face he had been dreaming of for weeks. Tears had been shed over him, but he had stayed and completed his work because he knew that not only was he living his dream , making connections that he would never forget, he was also making that Blaine proud. Enduring those occasional moments of the trip when he would feel a wave of loneliness, wishing more than anything he could feel tight arms wrapped around him, it was all worth it to know that Blaine would be proud of him.
Kurt felt a pang of disappointment as he reached the end of the row and still had no visual on Blaine. Had he given the wrong information to him? Did he leave out any crucial details on the packet he pinned to the fridge? Blaine should be here.
He decided walk through, call it quits to find his luggage and then a way home. Blaine, however, had different plans. Kurt was attacked from behind, strong arms enclosed him and soft kisses were pressed into his shoulder. His initial reaction was to freak out, search for his pepper spray or some other weapon, but then he recognized the cologne.
Kurt managed to spin around in the arms, and was finally face to face with his lover for the first time in twenty days. The two boys leaned into a kiss, savoring the familiarity in it all and losing themselves in I love yous. Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist as they walked out of the airport, closely nestled into each other.
For the rest of the day, countless stories were exchanged. Blaine went on of how he spent time with Grant, a close friend he made in college, and how he was hired by a local club to perform on Thursday nights during the summers. Kurt recollected meeting designers and photographers he had read about in Vogue, seeing the Eiffel tower and promising Blaine that one day they would return together.
"Don't stop with Paris, I want to know everything you did, Kurt!" Blaine encouraged, wearing the face of an excited puppy.
"There's plenty of time to go over everything later. Right now I want to focus on the one thing that was missing in Europe…"
"Hmm, and what might that be?" Blaine smirked, leaning closer to Kurt. The older boy shifted closer to Blaine, his mouth right up next to Blaine's ear.
"Air conditioning," Kurt laughed, jumping out of bed, dodging Blaine's grab at his arm. Kurt was chased by Blaine around the apartment, ducking behind chairs and yelling threats at Blaine when he jumped over their newly upholstered couch.
Yeah, it's good to be home