This was written for Poirot Café's "6-8k Writing Competition #2: Personality". Just a heads up that I do reference/quote some of the opening scene from chapter 954, vol. 89 of the manga, though I wouldn't exactly call what I've written here a major spoiler. At least, not if you've been following the Bourbon/Akai arcs.
Zero
Rei's heart pounded as he ran up the stairs, frustration pushing him to take the steps two at a time. He barely noticed the burning in his legs, barely noticed the growing tightness in his chest; he just pushed himself harder, because he knew that he wasn't moving fast enough. Not by a long shot. Every second was an eternity. The stairs were a nightmare of endless levels and peeling linoleum. Each thud of his boots took him closer, but never enough. All he could do was run, driven by the awful premonition that had seized his heart like a vice.
"Sorry, Furuya … they've found out I'm PSB."
Rei gritted his teeth. He gripped the banister to propel himself forward, his forehead beading with sweat. One step, two steps—damn it, where was the top?
"Looks like the only way out is the other world."
No, no, no! Just a little more. Just a few more steps!
"Goodbye, Zero."
Rei's heart lurched, as if trying to escape into his throat. The sharp gunshot that followed seemed to echo in his ears over and over again. He couldn't hear the thudding of his boots against the stairs anymore, couldn't grasp the silence that whispered unwanted truths to him; he just moved in a daze, dashing up the last few steps to enter the room. Scotch's body lay slumped and bleeding against the wall. Moroboshi Dai stood in front of him with a smoking gun, crimson splatters on his face and jacket.
Blood. A smoking gun. Scotch's lifeless body.
Rei stared at the damning scene in front of him, his chest heaving. No. No!
Moroboshi glanced at him over his shoulder. The coldness of the man's expression made his eyes appear like emotionless jade. "Traitors must be punished accordingly," he said in his cool way. "Right?"
Rei took in a shuddering breath. This was—
X
An alarm was beeping. Rei rolled over in the bed and pushed the button on the clock to stop the incessant noise. Silence settled through the room, broken only by the sound of his uneven breathing and the slight hum of electricity. He exhaled and ran a hand over his face, conscious of the clamminess that chilled his skin. No matter how many times he had the dream now—too many for him to even consider it a nightmare—it seemed that his body still remembered the horror he had felt the day Scotch died.
The day that FBI dog, Akai Shuichi, had killed his closest friend.
Rei shoved the covers off his body and got to his feet. Teeth gritted, he crossed the room and flicked on the light. The stereo was next, already set to play a fast-paced rock mix. He peeled off his shirt and dropped into the form for push-ups, hands planted firmly on the ground. One, two, three—Rei let his mind go blank as he counted, trying to expend the pent-up frustration that was like an itch crawling all over him. It was better when he was moving. Better when everything wasn't silent. Distraction was key, because then the full brunt of his emotions wouldn't sharpen into clarity.
Then the festering bundle of hate that writhed under his skin would have to sink back into the darkness where it belonged.
He closed his eyes and shifted through the different movements of his workout. By the end, he was sweating from exertion rather than from the chill of a bad dream, and his mind was as clear as it was ever going to get. It was always a little tricky navigating multiple identities. Rei compartmentalised as much of his separate personalities as he could, but sometimes Zero liked to slip out of the little box in which he was kept, blurring the lines between Bourbon and Amuro. Zero was dangerous like that. Too much pain. Too much anger. Rei almost wished that he could make his true self as non-existent as the meaning behind the name.
Rei for zero. Zero for nothing. The saying did go that ignorance was bliss.
He turned down the volume on the stereo and walked into the bathroom, turning on the tap and removing the rest of his clothes to take a quick shower. He wasn't in the mood to linger under the water. It was already obvious to him that it was going to be one of those days. Zero was too close to the surface thanks to that damn dream. If he wanted to keep it together, he had to stay active and distracted. Amuro Tooru couldn't afford to be blighted by Zero's brooding. Amuro was cheerful and laid back: the harmless, approachable guy who made people comfortable with his easy smile and who had no trouble making friends. Amuro could not be preoccupied with death and revenge, because that past did not exist for the happy-go-lucky waiter.
It was time to focus.
Rei turned off the shower and dried himself with a towel. The mirror above the sink had fogged. He wiped his hand along the surface, clearing off the moisture. His reflection stared back at him: dyed-blond hair damp and slightly curling at the ends; blue eyes rimmed with shadows and looking too large in his angular face. Thank the gods for tanned skin, because those dark circles would have given a woman with day-old, smudged mascara a run for her money had he been paler.
"You're Amuro Tooru," he told his reflection. "You're a detective who works part time at Café Poirot. You do not care that the man codenamed Scotch died."
He forced his jaw to relax and raised the corners of his mouth into a smile. The expression didn't look natural—not how it was supposed to on Amuro's face—but it would have to do for now.
Rei turned away from his reflection and left the bathroom, crossing over to his closet to select an outfit for the day. Amuro always dressed nicely—casually, but nicely—but then so did Bourbon and Zero. It was one of the few traits he had kept for all of his identities. It wasn't like it was a crime to enjoy quality fabric or a form-fitting jacket. Besides, the Organisation encouraged him to play on his good looks, as did the secret police. It helped with gathering intelligence. Dressing in a tasteful, presentable way was just part of the deal.
His phone vibrated from an incoming message. Rei frowned at the sleek device while he tugged on a grey vest over his shirt. He grabbed the phone from where it lay on the kotatsu. It was mail from Vermouth—all coded, of course. He deciphered the message and saw that it listed the time and meeting place for their next rendezvous. The boss must have a new target for him, though sometimes he wondered if Vermouth used him for her own agenda. Well, Rei couldn't complain. He used her just as much.
Rei deleted the message and finished getting ready. A cup of black coffee wasn't exactly the ideal breakfast, but it was all he could bring himself to stomach. Between dreaming about Scotch's death and the knowledge that he would probably have to kill someone in the near future if this new target of Vermouth's ended up being a liability, he found that he didn't have much of an appetite. Just the thought of eating something solid made him want to gag. Training had prepared him to kill for the sake of protecting his country, but all the training in the world didn't change the fact that taking a life for the Organisation was an awful thing. Every time he fired a bullet on Vermouth's command, he felt like another piece of his soul had been tainted.
Like another part of Zero had been taken over by Bourbon.
Rei slapped his cheeks. "Get a grip," he told himself.
He really was losing the plot today. Dwelling on such useless, depressing matters wasn't going to get him anywhere. Though, if he was to be honest, he'd had trouble focussing ever since he had confirmed that Akai Shuichi was alive. It bothered Rei that the FBI agent knew his name; however, it was Akai's parting words that had really wreaked havoc on his composure.
"About him, I regret what happened even now…"
Rei curled his hands into fists. It still made him angry to think that Akai had dared to say such a thing. Angry and confused. All three of them had been undercover agents working to take down the Organisation. All three of them had known the risks they were taking, yet Rei had never thought it would be an FBI agent who would kill his friend. Gin maybe, but Akai?
He could have found another way.
It was a thought that had festered in Rei's mind. Akai was an FBI agent. There had been no need for him to kill Scotch. Akai could have chosen differently—faked Scotch's death, just as the FBI agent had ended up faking his own.
"Don't fixate on what's directly ahead of you and lose sight of the real prey in this hunt."
Rei let out a small breath. Those words had struck a chord as well, much as he hadn't wanted to admit it. Sometimes, in his more reasonable moments, he wondered if he had been expecting too much of Akai. It was the genius behind Sleeping Kogoro who had really manipulated the strings to allow the FBI agent to fake his death. Akai was formidable, but he was no Edogawa Conan. Besides, for all the "could haves" and "what ifs", nothing would change the fact that Scotch was dead. The Organisation still needed to be taken down.
Even if Rei still hated Akai. Even if he still wanted revenge.
Rei shook his head. He was going in circles again. This was what happened when he let the world still and tried to sort through his tangled thoughts. Better to just shove the whole matter into the box of "For Another Day" and be done with it. Right now, he needed to focus on showing the world a calm, friendly face that revealed nothing of his inner turmoil. A good waiter left his personal baggage at home, and Amuro Tooru was a good waiter.
He cast a final glance in the mirror and was satisfied that the man who gazed back at him was as charming yet unassuming as desired. Rei grabbed his car keys and slipped his wallet and phone in his back pocket, then picked up the bag of rubbish that had been sitting by the door. He left the apartment and locked it behind him. The elderly woman who lived next to him came out of her apartment at the same time. He wished her a cheerful good morning—even offering to carry her rubbish bags for her, since he was already taking his own to the collection point.
"Thank you, Tooru-kun," she said, bowing her thanks and relinquishing the bags to his outstretched hand. "You're always so thoughtful."
Rei smiled and brushed the matter off as if it was nothing; Amuro was humble, after all. He walked down the steps and dropped the rubbish off on the street, then got into his car and began the usual drive to Café Poirot. Traffic was a pain. Rei drummed his fingers against the steering wheel and waited at the intersection for the light to switch to green. It was in that moment that he spotted Edogawa Conan and the boy's little group of detective friends walking to school on the footpath alongside him.
"I wish we were having eel on rice for lunch today," Genta said, his loud voice carrying through the open gap in the car window.
"Genta-kun, all you think about is food!" Ayumi scolded.
"Really, Genta-kun," Mitsuhiko said, shaking his head in solemn disapproval. "One of these days you're going to turn into a giant eel bowl."
The other children laughed, even Genta, though Rei noted that one of the girls merely smiled at the comedy routine. His gaze was naturally drawn to her thanks to her auburn hair, so light compared to the browns and blacks that surrounded her. In fact, the colour was so distinct and familiar that it made Rei do a double-take. That little girl looked just like—
"Sherry," he murmured.
The honk of a car horn made him tear his gaze away. The traffic light had turned green. Rei put his foot down on the accelerator and continued down the road, though his mind returned to the girl he had seen walking beside Edogawa. He couldn't remember if he'd ever seen her come to Café Poirot. In fact, when he tried to picture her face, he came up against a blank. The few times he had caught a glimpse of her, she'd always been half-hidden behind Edogawa or had a hat on or something of a similar nature shrouding her face. It was almost like she was trying too hard to make sure he didn't notice her.
Wait, what was he even thinking? Sherry was dead. She had got blown up by Vermouth's explosives on the Mystery Train—right in front of his eyes, might he add. The girl next to Edogawa was probably just shy.
"Pull it together," he ordered himself.
Getting side-tracked by thoughts of Scotch and Akai was one thing; actually contemplating whether one of the Detective Boys was really Miyano Shiho was a new low, even for him. This wasn't some science fiction novel; this was real life, and fully grown adults didn't just shrink to the size of children, nor did the dead come back to life. He knew that better than anyone. Every person who had ever been close to him was dead, and no amount of wishing had ever brought them back. Not his parents, not Elena, not Date, and not Scotch.
Maybe Edogawa Conan was a highly suspicious and far too intelligent child, but that didn't mean that every person around the kid was of the same calibre. Rei was just being paranoid. Hell, he was always being paranoid. Maybe that was why losing Scotch had hit such a raw nerve. Scotch had always been there to keep him grounded—a stabilising presence amidst all the schemes and ugliness of the Organisation.
A brother to him in everything but blood.
Rei rolled his shoulders, as if trying to shrug off the painful memories. Damn that dream. It normally wasn't this difficult to keep his thoughts in check. He felt frayed and untethered, like any moment the threads keeping his masks in place would unravel for all to see. He spent the rest of the drive recrafting his Amuro persona, using the techniques that had helped him in the past to compartmentalise his emotions. Oddly, though, it was Azusa who truly managed to calm the frantic tangle in his heart.
He'd left his car at the parking lot and met up with the brunette on the way to Poirot. She was balancing a stack of packages on one arm and trying to stop the wobbly pile from falling with her chin. In her other hand, she clutched a bag and some keys. She looked ridiculous, but her smile was wide and welcoming.
"Good morning, Amuro-san!" she said in her cheerful way.
He couldn't help but smile in return. She just had that effect. "Good morning, Azusa-san," he said, and glanced back at the precarious perch of packages. "Looks like you need some—"
The packages slipped forward. Rei stepped in and neatly scooped them into his arms before the stack could fall.
"—help," he finished, meeting her gaze with a slight twitch of his lips.
Azusa's cheeks coloured. "Sorry. I thought I had them."
He laughed. "It's fine."
"But—"
"Azusa-san," he cut in, "just let me carry the packages. It's not a big deal."
She bit her lip, smiling a bit sheepishly. "Thank you."
Rei nodded and readjusted his grip on the stack, which he saw was actually wrapped presents and a cake. "Am I to wish you a happy birthday?" he questioned.
"Ah, those aren't for me," she said, switching the bags she had been carrying to her other hand. "A friend left them at my place last night. She'll be coming to pick them up this morning. It's for her niece." Her brow furrowed. "Or was it her boss's niece?"
"So you carried them all the way here from your apartment?"
Azusa blinked. "It's not like I have a car. What else was I supposed to do?"
Rei didn't point out that it was her friend's fault for forgetting the packages and, as such, that there had been no need for Azusa to inconvenience herself. He knew it would be a waste of breath. Enomoto Azusa was one of those genuinely nice people who didn't think twice about going out of her way for someone. No doubt she got taken advantage of by friends and acquaintances alike, and probably smiled the whole time. It would have been sad—pathetic even—but Rei had to admit that Azusa's selflessness was one of the reasons he liked her.
There was no need to worry about hidden agendas with the waitress. She was sweet and sincere, though he was aware that she could be cunning. He'd heard all about the case that had involved her brother, including the way she had used her feminine wiles to escape from Detective Takagi's guard. Frankly, Rei had been amused rather than alarmed by her display of manipulation. She was like a kitten with sheathed claws compared to the likes of Vermouth. Rei did not consider Azusa a threat.
"Well, next time give me a call," Rei said. "Since I do have a car, it'll be no trouble."
"I wouldn't want to im—"
"You wouldn't be imposing," he said, and he was surprised to find that he actually meant it.
For all that he preferred to keep his distance from people when it was not required for a job, the thought of assisting Azusa didn't bother him. Maybe it was because he knew she was harmless. Maybe it was because Amuro wouldn't ignore her plight, and it was important for Rei as her co-worker to keep up appearances. Rei wasn't sure; he just knew that he liked how uncomplicated it was to be around Azusa. If he could make her life a little bit easier by giving her a ride to work when she had to act like a delivery mule, breaking his routine was a small price to pay.
Azusa's mouth quirked upwards. "You're going to spoil me, Amuro-san. You know I don't live far away. It's not like I had to trek across half of Tokyo."
"Regardless, the offer still stands."
She shook her head. "You're too nice. Tell me again, how is it that you don't have a girlfriend? I'm sure the females of Beika must be falling over their feet to get your number." Her eyes glinted with a hint of playfulness. "I certainly know of a few of our regulars who are interested."
"Please don't tease me," he said, feeling an odd sense of déjà vu; he could have sworn they'd had this conversation before. "Besides, the majority of our regulars come to see you. Isn't that why the café is filled with half the police force every day?"
"Now you're teasing me," she complained, even as her cheeks dusted with pink. "You know they only come for the pasta special."
Rei had to supress a snort. If that's what Azusa sincerely believed, she was more of an innocent than he had realised.
"I'm pretty sure it's not the pasta," he murmured.
"Hrm?"
He glanced over the brunette, taking in her slender form and pretty features. She was wearing a blue dress that brought out the colour of her eyes and her hair was down, only adding to her air of cute femininity. It was not difficult to see why the male customers liked her. Even Rei could admit that he found her attractive.
"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "So, what are you doing out here at this time, anyway? Shouldn't you have been at the café an hour ago?"
"Ah, I had to do a few errands this morning, so the Master opened up shop. I'm making up for it by finishing later."
"I see."
Rei would have said more, but they had reached Poirot. He glanced at the agency above the café, wondering if Mouri had got any new cases. Part of his role as Amuro—and the whole reason he had started working at Poirot—was to keep an eye on the older detective, though Rei was well aware that Edogawa was the true threat. Not that he would ever disclose as much to the Organisation. Only Vermouth was aware of the danger the child presented; however, since she had made Rei promise not to the harm the boy, it was unlikely that she would ever do anything to put Edogawa in danger.
Still, it did make him wonder sometimes. Vermouth had many secrets—some of which he had learnt by coincidence thanks to his childhood; some of which he had dug up himself when he took on the codename Bourbon—but he had never figured out why his "mentor" was so attached to Edogawa Conan and Mouri Ran. Mostly, he just dreaded the day the Organisation decided Sleeping Kogoro—be it the moustached man or the tiny puppeteer behind the voice—had meddled too much in the Organisation's business. Rei didn't know what he would do if he was ordered to take action beyond sleuthing.
Would Vermouth help him if he asked? Could he even take the risk of trying to circumvent the order after sacrificing so much—after letting Scotch sacrifice so much—just to get this deep into the Organisation?
"Amuro-san?"
Rei blinked. He wasn't sure how long Azusa had been trying to get his attention, but it must have been enough to alarm her. She leaned closer, her brow creasing as she studied his face.
"Are you okay?" she asked. "You know, I thought this earlier, but you don't look so well."
Haggard was the correct term. He missed his friend. He missed being more than a codename and a collection of fake identities. He was tired and on edge, desperate for revenge—desperate for any kind of relief, because the Organisation had spread its web of black threads everywhere, and he was just one man. These were Zero's secret thoughts, though, and right now he needed to be Amuro.
"I'm fine," he said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I just didn't get much sleep last night."
Azusa pursed her lips. The expression was meant to be reproving, but on her it just looked kind of adorable, like a judgemental kitten. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards. It really was difficult to stay upset at anything for too long when he was with her. She had a knack for making him smile.
"Come on," he said, balancing the packages on one arm so he could usher her ahead of him. "We're both going to be late if we stay out here any longer."
It was time to get to work—both for his real and fake job. He wasn't sure if it was Amuro or Zero who entered Poirot; the lines had blurred so much between the two that morning. Still, Rei found that he wasn't too worried. He had Azusa to keep him company. Somehow, he knew that Zero would stay in check with her at his side.
And that dependence—that trust—probably should have worried him the most of all.
X
"You seem distracted."
Rei glanced at the voluptuous blonde seated next to him in the car. Vermouth's expression was pleasant enough, but her teal eyes were too sharp, digging under his skin to uncover his secrets. He raised his guard. She was as close to a "friend" as he had in the Organisation, but their relationship had always been a bit like walking on a tightrope. Not surprising, considering the whole basis of their truce was founded on blackmail.
"I'm guessing you have a new target for me," he said, changing the subject. "Where's the file?"
Vermouth's mouth curved into a smile. "So quick to get to the point today."
"I need to get back to the café," he explained, which wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth either.
Café Poirot's master didn't care what Rei did half the time, since the "handsome waiter" brought in plenty of customers and practically paid himself to work there. Judging from Vermouth's widening smile, she saw through the half-lie as well.
"I didn't realise you were so dedicated to your role as a waiter," she teased.
"It's important for Amuro," he said with a shrug. "Plus, it helps me keep an eye on Detective Mouri."
"About that." Vermouth leaned forward, showing far too much cleavage than was seemly thanks to her low neckline. "Gin is getting suspicious again. That detective has been showing up too much around the cases involving Rum."
Rei repressed a sigh. He knew this had been coming. Just the thought made a stab of pressure start behind his eyes, warning of an oncoming headache.
"I'll see what I can do," he said. "I'm sure I can dredge up some clients to keep Mouri-san out of the way. In the meantime, give me what information you have on the Rum cases; I'll clean them up nice and quick so Gin won't have any reason to dig deeper into Sleeping Kogoro." His lips quirked sideways as he met her gaze. "That is what you're worried about, isn't it?"
Vermouth raised her eyebrow. "Don't get cocky, Bourbon." Don't forget I still have my eye on you, she silently added.
And I on you, he quipped.
There was a pause as they both stared each other, reassessing how far to trust, how much they could give before getting a bullet in the back. Vermouth was the first to break the standoff, stretching against the passenger's seat in a way that showed off her curves to advantage. Rei's mouth twitched. The whole "sex to manipulate" tactic had never worked on him, but Vermouth still couldn't help but slip into her old tricks when they were together.
"Well, I guess I'll let you get back to your day job." She glanced at him with a provocative smile. "Try not to get too caught up with your personal demons, Bourbon. It doesn't suit you."
Rei blinked, momentarily at a loss for words. Had Vermouth seen through that much?
She leaned forward and tapped him lightly on the cheek. "Take care. I'll call when I have the files."
Vermouth got out of the car and closed the door behind her. Rei watched her fade into the crowd. He wondered who had come out the worse from that meeting. He didn't like the fact that he felt like it was him who was struggling to maintain his balance on the tightrope.
X
It was closing time at the café. Rei was wiping down tables when a young woman entered through the doors. He was about to tell her they were closed when he recognised the white jacket and long black hair. It was Azusa's friend, the one who had come earlier to pick up the forgotten packages. If he remembered correctly, her name was Kimiko.
"Where's Azusa?" Kimiko asked.
"She just went out back," Rei answered, straightening to his full height. "Would you like me to get her for you?"
Kimiko brushed his offer off with a wave of her hand. "It's fine. I'll just wait here."
Rei nodded and went back to wiping tables. Azusa joined them not long after, and was immediately pounced upon by her friend. Apparently, they were supposed to be attending a goukon, or mixer party, later that night. At least, Kimiko was trying to make Azusa go with her.
"Please," Kimiko begged, complete with hands in supplication. "Please, please come!"
Azusa frowned. "I don't know, Kimiko. You know I don't really like those things."
Kimiko refused to take no for an answer. She pointed out that this was all in Azusa's best interests: the waitress had not been a date in a long time, and here was the chance to meet lots of nice, single men.
"I mean, all you do is work all day at this café and then go home," Kimiko said, folding her arms across her chest with a frown. "You're twenty-three, cute, and single. You've got to make the most of it!"
"But we don't know any of these men," Azusa said, shaking her head. "How do you know they'll even be nice? I've heard some bad stories about goukons."
"Yuri-chan promised me that her friend was a good guy, so I'm sure his friends will be as well."
"Yeah, but—"
Kimiko let out an exasperated huff. "If you're so worried then bring a male you do know. I'm sure we can scrounge up another female to make the numbers." Her eyes alighted on Rei. "Look, here's one right here. Ask him."
Azusa cast a startled glance at Rei. "I can't ask Amuro-san to—"
"Then I will." The little black-haired woman strode up to Rei, her chin set in a determined manner. "You'll come to the goukon to protect us poor, defenceless females, right?"
Rei let go of the cloth he had been using to wipe tables. "Excuse me?"
"Oh, don't try to act like you weren't eavesdropping," she said, waving her hand in another of those dismissive gestures. "I know you heard everything. So, will you come or not? This could decide Azusa's future, you know. She might meet her husband-to-be there—" Kimiko scrunched her nose "—or, I suppose, she could meet a male predator who will try to take her home and have his wicked way with her. Either way, are you willing to let her waste her youth and good looks by choosing not to come to the goukon at all?"
Rei shifted his gaze to Azusa, who looked a bit pink in the face and kept making shushing motions at her friend. The brunette caught Rei's eye, and her blush darkened. He knew that she would probably get cajoled into attending the goukon regardless of whether he agreed to attend with them or not; it wasn't in Azusa's nature to let her friends down, and it was obvious that Kimiko did want to go. That made him wonder just how safe the girls would be, though. The ugly side of males did sometimes come out at goukons: a side that saw men pushing drink upon drink upon their companions, hoping to get the females drunk enough for an easy lay. A flash of anger rippled through him at the thought of someone doing that to Azusa.
"Well, if you put it like that," Rei said, putting on Amuro's charming smile, "I guess I can't refuse."
"Great!" Kimiko said, rewarding him with an approving nod. "I'll call Yuri-chan now to let her know."
The black-haired woman wandered away with her phone, leaving the two Poirot employees to finish closing up shop. Azusa moved to where Rei was standing.
"You really don't have to do this," she said, biting her lip in an anxious manner. "I know you probably have other things to do, and—"
"It's fine," he assured her. "I didn't have any plans."
Which was true. His work for the Organisation and secret police wasn't going anywhere. One night off wouldn't do any real damage.
Azusa let out a breath. "Then thanks." Her eyes softened into a smile. "I have to admit, I'll feel much more comfortable with you there."
Rei murmured an appropriate response, but inwardly he just wondered what he was doing. For all his rationalisations, he knew that this wasn't his best decision. Amuro was nice enough to look out for a co-worker—maybe even attend a goukon to keep her safe—but Rei had no illusions; it was Zero who threatened to bare his teeth at any man who tried to take advantage of the pretty brunette; it was Zero who had agreed to attend the goukon, and it was Zero who smiled at Azusa now as he told her he would pick her up at seven to take her and Kimiko to the izakaya.
"Try not to get too caught up with your personal demons, Bourbon. It doesn't suit you."
Rei brushed aside Vermouth's warning. Azusa wasn't a personal demon. If anything, she often helped him to forget about the pain of his past and the ugly rage that filled him whenever he thought of Akai. The feelings she inspired in him were harmless and uncomplicated: amusement, affection, protectiveness. There was nothing in those emotions to cause alarm. Not even if it was Zero who was responding more and more to her instead of Amuro.
At least, that was what he told himself.
X
Everything had been going fine at the goukon until that idiot with the glasses tried to make a move on Azusa. Rei had been attentive enough to his own "date", and Kimiko had seemed happy with her partner. Still, Rei had not liked the look of the man who had been paired with Azusa. Tanaka's suit might be well-pressed and his features pleasant, but the smile had been a little too knowing, and the way the man kept touching Azusa's arm was grating. So, Rei had made sure to keep an eye on the two. That was how he had ended up following the pair out of the izakaya.
Apparently, Azusa had needed some fresh air. At least, that was the excuse Tanaka had given when Rei confronted him. It still didn't explain why Tanaka had been trying to shove his tongue down her throat, despite her protestations. No, there was no justification that could explain away that disgrace. So Rei had punched the sleaze right in the face. Again. And again. And again.
"Amuro-san!"
Azusa's panicked voice pierced through the fog of rage that clouded his mind. Rei stumbled back, shocked to see blood on his fists. Tanaka's face was a mess of crimson and split skin. God, he had done that.
"I told you not to do that, didn't I? Fighting of all things."
Elena's words drifted through his mind, reminding him of the promise he had made to not lose control again. Reminding him of the time when he was just a boy who was always getting into trouble: violent, angry, far too lonely Zero.
"Amuro-san," Azusa said, though much softer this time.
"I—" He swallowed, struggling to piece together his masks. Anything to cover the truth.
Tanaka groaned. The sound snapped Rei out of his daze. He had just assaulted a man. The blood was still on his hands. He had to take responsibility, because he wasn't a child anymore. Just like in the past when Elena had left to go somewhere "far away", there was no one to clean up his mess now except himself.
"He needs a doctor," Rei said, switching to a business-like tone and already moving to help Tanaka to his feet.
Maybe if he was lucky Tanaka wouldn't press charges. Rei might have to use all of his manipulative arts to pull off the feat, but it was doable. Besides, it was Tanaka who had tried to force himself on Azusa. Rei could work with that.
Azusa nodded, still looking a bit pale. Not surprising. She'd just watched him brutalise a man with his bare fists. "I'll let Kimiko know we're leaving."
"You don't have to come with me. I can take him to the hospital myself."
Rei felt like he needed to give her the option, because he knew that he had scared her. He hated how relieved he felt when she didn't take him up on his offer.
"You were only trying to defend me," Azusa said, shaking her head. "It wouldn't be right if I just left you to deal with everything yourself." She put on a brave smile. "I'll be your witness."
Rei's expression softened. "Thank you, Azusa-san."
Truly. He had to thank her. She had helped him to come back to his senses when Zero had taken over in all his ugly rage. It still shocked him that he had lost control like that, though he supposed the signs had all been there. He'd been on edge the whole day, struggling with the pressure of carrying out his mission alone—of dealing with his own personal demons, as Vermouth had called it. Seeing Tanaka kiss Azusa without her consent had been the proverbial straw on the camel's back. No one was allowed to upset Azusa. Especially not some idiot salary man with grabby hands. Rei just wished he hadn't demonstrated his disapproval quite so much, because he also knew what he had to do now.
More damage had been done tonight than just to Tanaka's face. Smoothing everything over was not going to be easy. Still, Rei would do what was necessary. It was imperative that he protect his cover as Amuro Tooru, and that meant putting certain barriers back in place. Azusa might have a knack for making him smile, but he had also discovered tonight that Zero—no, he—cared about her a little too much for his comfort. There was no room for such distractions in this mission. No room for Zero. The man who was always alone had to stay alone, regardless of his growing fondness for a pretty waitress.
After all, Zero meant nothing.
Right?
Well, I had not intended to end this one-shot here (actually, this was originally meant to be a comical fic about Rei and Azusa attending a goukon, and you all saw how great that turned out), but the deadline is looming and I really need sleep.
Oh, and I wrote the first half of this before the release of chapters 955 and 956, so yeah. I am aware that there are some canon discrepancies here.