DISCLAIMER: Needless to say: I am not Amy, so I don't own anything. Glad that we cleared that up.

Facts you might want to know:

The story begins approximately 5 years after Logan graduated and left for London.

Rory got pregnant not too long before Logan left for London.

Logan knew about the pregnancy, but he claimed he wasn't ready to become a father, so he left. He offered financial help, but Rory rejected it. (But she said he could come and see his daughter, if he wanted too.) He never came to see Ella. At first he felt he wasn't ready, later on he felt guilty.

Ella was born the January after Logan left, and Rory miraculously graduated in time, then moved into an apartment in New York, got a job at the Times, she has worked there since then.

Lorelai and Luke are married. Anna died, so they are raising April together.

Rory brings Ella to Stars Hollow quite often, but not weekly: driving 2 hours there and back again with a four-year-old every week is not what you consider as a pleasant journey...

Rory is best friends with Paris, who is in Medical School, lives in NY and dates Finn.

Colin and Stephanie are engaged, and are also in Rory's life: they live in NY too.

Things in italics are thoughts or flashbacks. (Except the only italics words in a normally written sentence: they are there for emphasis.)

That's it. If you need to know something and it's not in the story feel free to ask. I might answer... and now on with the story.

Chapter 1

It was a pleasant Sunday afternoon, probably the last one in the fall. In one of Central Park's playgrounds a brunette woman in her mid-twenties glanced at her watch. She decided it was time to go home, so she stood up, folded the large blue and white picnic rug she was sitting on, and put all the leftover food back into the hamper. Then she headed to the sandbox a few feet away to collect a four-year-old blonde girl playing in the sandbox.

"Ella, we have to go. Let's put your toys back in the backpack, please," said the woman, and handed her a pink Hello Kitty backpack.

"I don't feel like going yet," answered the little girl, giving her mother her best earnest face. The woman shook her head disapprovingly and suppressed a smile, wondering where that face and sentence came from. Her daughter was precocious, that was a given, but still... 'don't feel like going yet'? Please...

"Lorelai Blythe Gil..." -the woman started, but she was interrupted by her ringing cell phone. "Saved by the bell." mumbled the girl, much to her mother's amusement and went back to her puppet's sand paradise.

"Your call is very important to us, please hold," responded the woman to the ringing cell phone. Then she turned to her daughter "Start packing Missy, it's time for you to have a nap. We want you to stay this beautiful as long as possible, and bags are not pretty, let me just tell you. I thought we discussed this." Then she turned back to her cell phone, "Mother in distress. If you have magical powers and you're capable of collecting a less then willing girl from the sandbox please press '1.' If you know anybody who has the above-mentioned power, please press '2.' For giving moral support please press '3.' Dial '0' to get the operator."

"I think I'm going for the 'moral support'. We wouldn't want to waste my magical powers on 'collecting' an angel, now would we? Plus you just have to use the magic word."

"Magic word, Mom?"

"Please, thank you, or abracadabra. One of them always worked on you..." answered Lorelai in a 'duh' voice, as it was evident.

"Oh, silly me. How could have I forgotten 'abracadabra'?"

"Well. Maybe you were too busy staying in New York, doing who knows what instead of coming home to your loving mother."

"Mom, I really should put Ella into bed. She's always grouchy if she skips her nap, and Finn and Colin said they would drop by to watch a movie with us, and I really don't want to deal with a sober Finn, a tired Colin AND a grouchy Ella. On top of that, I've had a rough week, so can we get to the point please?"

"But of course, Rory" said Lorelai in a mock pouting voice. "I called you to ask whether Mom tried to rope you into a birthday party. She mentioned something on Friday at the dinner, but I thought maybe there is hope for us. The invitations aren't out yet, after all."

"Why would Grandma want to organize party for me? I'm not 16 anymore."

"We are talking about Emily Gilmore here. And if you truly believe that Emily Gilmore won't grab the chance -"

"Watch your language, young lady!" said Rory mimicking Emily.

"Oh, forgive me. So if you truly believe that Emily Gilmore won't take the opportunity to throw the party of the season, just because you over 21, I highly recommend you re-read the copy of "Everything You Must Know About Emily Gilmore for Dummies" I sent you for last Christmas."

"You're probably right. I live in denial when it comes to Grandma. Anyway, the answer is no. She didn't try to drag me into anything yet, which is surprising and come to think of it a little bit dubious too."

"That's my smart girl! Now go, take my granddaughter home, and be prepared. You never know with Emily Gilmore."

"Thanks for the heads up mom. And we are coming to Stars Hollow next weekend. Say hi to Luke for me."

"Will do. Love you kid. Bye."

"Love you too, bye," with that Rory hung up her cell, and helped Ella pack her toys. She bribed the little girl with a fairy tale, so Rory grabbed the folded rug and the hamper and helped Ella the backpack, and they headed home hand in hand.

As they arrived home Ella ran to the bathroom, washed her hands, put on her pajamas, and waited for her mother and the promised fairy tale with flushed cheeks. Somewhere between the evil stepmother's first and the second try to poison Snow White Ella fell asleep.

Rory raised Ella alone, she worked hard at the New York Times, Ella attended preschool, and they didn't have as much time together as she wanted. But Rory tried her best to make the time they spent together special for her daughter. They had their rituals in the morning, and in the evening, and the weekends were always magical for the little girl.

On Saturday mornings they had proper sit down breakfasts, and while Rory read the news, Ella 'read' the comic strip. They spent the morning with shopping for the upcoming week, on their way back home they picked up lunch. After lunch Ella took her nap while Rory read a book, or listened to music. In the afternoon the girls cleaned up the apartment singing along with the radio, and then went to the playground. Rory always played with her daughter, she even joined Ella in the sandbox, and didn't mind the daggers the other mothers sent in her direction (if looks could kill...) when their own kids tried to convince them to play with them, just like the woman with the blonde girl. She didn't want to just sit there and watch. She wanted to participate. She couldn't give her daughter a father, but she was there for Ella. And if 'being there for her' meant dirty clothes and sand in her mouth, then it meant dirty clothes and sand in her mouth. She didn't mind. Ella was truly happy, and that was the only thing that mattered. At home they had a long bubble bath, then dinner. When bedtime came they brushed their teeth together, mother and daughter stood in front of the mirror and tried their best to keep the foam in their mouth. It was a little competition between the two. You win, you get a point. The one who reaches 10 points sooner gets to choose the films for the next movie "night." Ella shamelessly tried to make her mother laugh so she could win. She tried all her funny faces she could make without jeopardizing defeat. And Rory didn't mind. Ella was way too precocious. Especially with Finn and Lorelai in her life. At moments like this she acted like a normal four-year-old. Since Ella could read they read the tales together in the evening 'til the little girl's eyes became too heavy to keep open. She would fall asleep in her mother's arms. Rory tucked her in, turned off the lights and just listened to her daughter's snuffles for a while, then kissed her cheek, and went to the living room to watch C-SPAN for old times' sake. (And because as a journalist she had to be up-to-date.)

Sundays were pure fun. After breakfast they went to shopping, or to the zoo, to the playground, to a museum, a nice bookstore, a stationery shop (Ella could spend hours there...) a cinema, whatever came up. They didn't go home for lunch, they just ate somewhere in the city, and then headed home, because dealing with a tired Ella was not something anybody in their right mind wanted to experience. In the afternoon they usually had company. Paris became her best friend, they completed each other. As Paris once said, Rory was the yin to her yang, Joel to her Ethan, Damon to her Affleck. Medical School was not easy, and it didn't leave too much time to the girls for bonding, but Paris tried hard and came over when she could. Just as Finn, Colin and Stephanie did. At first it was weird for Rory to meet up with Finn, Colin and/or Stephanie since they were still in touch with Logan, so just reminded to much her of him. But she realized that when they said that they were her friends too, they really meant it. Things became easier when Paris started to date Finn. After a few months things fell into their places, and Rory wasn't alone during her pregnancy. She missed Logan more than words could say, but she needed to keep herself up on the surface. She was responsible for another person too, after all.

This particular Sunday, Finn and Colin joined the Gilmores for a movie-afternoon. Paris was at the hospital, and Stephanie was in Europe: she had "only" six months until her wedding in April and she wanted her dress from Paris. (A/N: the city...)

At 4 PM sharp the boys arrived with a DVD and a paper bag full of candies.

"Uncle Finn, do you have cards with you? I practiced since last week; I think I could win this time!" with that Ella ran into Finn's arm. He picked up the little girl, and twirled her.

"I'm sorry Princess, but today you won't win candy from poor Uncle Finn. Today we are watching movies." answered Finn in his most earnest voice.

"Finn, I told you not to teach my daughter how to play poker, because A: she's only four, and B: I'm not planning on moving to Vegas, and for your information: teachers in New York do not appreciate poker in preschool."

"How shallow of them!" piped in Colin as he hugged Ella and she kissed him on the cheek.

"Well yes. I'm just preparing her for life. That is something school should do, so you should be grateful that I supplement her with some oh so needed practical knowledge..." reasoned Finn.

"Pardon, would you say that again please? Yesterday we had nice bubble bath, and I think there must be some water in my ears left, because I'd swear I heard you saying that I should be grateful for you for teaching my daughter how to play poker. How is poker oh so needed knowledge for her?"

"Are you blind, Kitten? She's gorgeous. With her blue eyes and blonde curls she looks like an angel. An innocent angel. Boys will do anything and everything to make her play strip-poker with them... We don't want her end up in her underwear in a room full of horny teenage boys, now do we?" asked Finn as it would be more evident than the fact that Rory loved coffee. By the time said the word 'innocent' Colin the always cautious covered Ella's ears with his hands, and Rory mentally thanked God for Colin's foresight.

They settled down with all the necessities, and Rory started the movie. They watched Anastasia. Ella sat between her two 'uncles' and Rory sat in the big armchair. They enjoyed the film, but once the song 'Once Upon a December' started Rory zoned out. It didn't help that Ella reminded her of Logan with her dark blond hair and mischievous smile either. Not to mention she ate fruit during movie-afternoons, much to Lorelai's dismay...

Dancing bears,
Painted wings
Things I almost remember
And a song someone sings
Once upon a December

Rory went home for Christmas, she was almost done with her finals. She worked doubly hard during the semester, partly because she wanted to finish before her due date, and partly because she needed something to keep herself occupied. She missed Logan badly. She needed him. She secretly hoped that he would change his mind and come back to her even if for a few days. Now she remembered how it felt standing there watching her mother and her loving and caring husband interact, while she felt alone.

Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...

When was the last time she felt safe and warm? Long ago. She didn't plan this pregnancy, but she loved the little person inside her, and after the things she and Logan went through she never thought that he would leave her.

Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart used to know,
Once upon a December

She told him she was pregnant, and he backed out. First Rory thought he just freaked out, that would have been understandable. But no. He said he wasn't ready for that. He offered his financial help anyhow. That was the moment when Rory realized that she was going to be a single mother. In a surprisingly calm voice she rejected his money, and told him he could be in his baby's life, but sending a check every month doesn't mean being in someone's life. They needed him, and not his money.

Someone holds me safe and warm
Horses prance through a silver storm
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...

She could vaguely remember how it felt being tangled in his arms. She had been alone for five long years. For five years she has been a mother, but she hasn't been a woman.

Far away, long ago
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart used to know,
Things it yearns to remember...

She felt alone. Right now she just needed to be loved.

And a song someone sings
Once upon a December

Finn and Colin noticed that she was somewhere else. The movie ended, Ella fell asleep between them, and Rory had yet to move. Finn cautiously squeezed her in order to wake her up from her trance. He could tell from the look on her face that she felt that her life was not whole. He knew that look very well. He has seen that look on his best friend's face for the past three years, every time they met in London or Hartford. The only difference was that Rory knew what she needed, she just couldn't convince herself to date again, although lots of her colleagues wanted a chance with her. Logan lived in denial. He was looking for something that could make his life a whole, but he had yet to find out what it was. He had a life people would have killed for. He had money, he had love. Or not love � but rather women.

Colin picked up Ella and carried her into her room, put her in her Pj's, meanwhile Finn hugged Rory, rubbing consoling circles on her back.

"It's gonna be OK, Kitten."

"I'm fine. It's just... it's just..." her voice trailed off, "I just miss him sometimes. Ella reminds me of him. I wish he wanted us. I wish we could be a real family. You guys are great. I don't know what we would do without you. But still..."

"I know. I understand. We all do. It's a wonder in itself that you still manage to smile and give so much happiness to your daughter. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks Finn. It means a lot. Now off you go. I need my beauty sleep. Oh... I almost forgot. There's a party at the paper Friday. Could you please watch her while I'm there? I was told that my presence is required, but I have no one to watch Ella yet. We're going to Stars Hollow on Saturday, but I can ask mom to come if you are busy..."

"Steph will be back by then, so we can watch her." Colin said as he caught the last part of the conversation.

"Thanks, Colin."

"No problem, our pleasure." Colin said as they bid their good-byes.

Rory cleaned up the place, and headed to her bedroom. She was tired. And those well suppressed feelings just popped up again... She needed to rest.

Meanwhile a private plane landed in Hartford...

A/N: It was the new betad, improved version of the first chapter. Thanks to 'dcrendi'.