A/N: Okay guys, here is my first attempt at a one-shot thing. I really love the idea of little!Dan, and there is a serious lack of that in the phanfiction universe. So I took matters into my own hands and made this...drabble, I guess? It's basically all fluff, and maybe like two swear words. Also, there's a tiny bit of body image description but I mean, that's okay, right?
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. I really enjoyed writing this one. As always, reviews are cherished!
-Justin
It only happened when he couldn't handle the stress. Most times, it happened in the middle of the night, and I'd wake up to him curling his body into a ball, pressing as tight to me as he could. His thumb would slip into his mouth, index finger hooked around his nose, and his other hand would reach out toward me, searching for something to snuggle up to. I always knew when it happened. My eyes would open and I'd look around in the darkness to find Danny tucking his face into the junction where my neck and shoulder met, and I'd smile into the night, wrapping an arm around him protectively as I thought of the things we'd be able to do while he was here.
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I was in the office when I heard the door slam. My head turned automatically toward the sound, and I stood up from the desk. Dan had been in meetings all week, preparing everything for the tour, and I could see the effect it was having on him. Of course, I'd been dealing with phone calls and plane tickets and editing for the both of us, but we both had a limit, and it looked like Dan had finally reached his.
He was sat on the floor, back against the wall, with his knees up against his chest. One arm was wrapped tightly around them and he had his thumb between his lips, pointer finger curled around his nose. It was just like all those times in the middle of the night, except now it was happening in the middle of our lounge. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I might never admit it to him, but I really loved being the one who took care of him when he got like this.
"Danny?" I said the name tentatively, as if it might be a fluke. The thumb-sucking was almost always a sign that he'd entered that little space, but I chose not to hope too much until I was sure. I walked to him slowly, knowing that Danny was more sensitive to personal space.
"Daddy," he whimpered, voice muffled. Once I was close enough, I knelt down in front of him, and he wasted no time in throwing himself on me, wrapping his legs around my waist and burying his face in my neck. His thumb never left his mouth as he held onto me, and I stood up with him cradled in my arms. He locked his ankles together at the small of my back and I took a sideways step, trying to keep my balance. As much as I enjoyed this, he was still taller than me, and these things got awkward sometimes.
"It's okay, baby," I cooed, running a hand through his hair. He let out a soft sigh as we made our way to my bedroom, where all his supplies were hidden in the wardrobe. Since we really only used my room for appearances now, it had become a kind of sanctuary for times like this. I thought about asking how the meeting went, because sometimes he could tell me things in this headspace, sometimes he could remember what he'd been doing right before.
"Mean people," he mumbled then, answering the question I hadn't asked yet. I took him to the bed and sat him down on the edge, but he just tightened his grip on me. "Don't wanna go back." He pulled his face back to look at me with watery eyes. His mind was only about two years old when he became like this; he had almost no control over his emotions.
"You don't have to," I promised him, prying away from his fingers. His lower lip jutted out in a pout at the loss of contact, so I reached out a hand to stroke his cheek. I leaned in close to him, resisting the urge to kiss him. That was one thing I didn't like about these encounters, because his toddler mind just didn't understand the intimacy and it always ended up scaring him.
To my surprise, he pressed forward to peck my cheek. "I love you, daddy," he said almost shyly. I smiled in response and pulled him into my arms again. His giggle told me that had been his plan all along, but I couldn't deny him these simple pleasures. I got just as much out of it as he did.
"Let's get you out of these things," I suggested, knowing he was feeling uncomfortable at this point. When he was Danny, he hated wearing 'adult stuff', as he referred to it, and usually opted for a nappy and oversized hoodie instead. He nodded against my shoulder and pushed himself away to lie back on the duvet. I hopped up and walked over to the wardrobe to gather supplies.
"Lift your hips,' I instructed, settling beside him. His jeans came off easily, and I heard him sigh softly as I slid the nappy under his bum. I shifted back a little to reach the powder I'd laid beside him and coated him enough to make him squirm. He was grinning wildly and running his hands over my arm, so I knew he was loving every moment. I moved my hands to his bare thighs to massage the skin gently, smiling again at the soft sounds he was making that told me he was relaxing quite nicely.
I lifted the flap to cover him and fastened the tabs quickly, before he could try to make a game of it. Now that he'd settled fully into this role, he'd be a toddler for the next few days- each time was different. I gave his diapered front a pat and gestured for him to sit up. "Arms up," I said, lifting his shirt when he did so. He laughed when I pinched a bit of skin under his arm, swatting me away.
"No, stop," he insisted in that high-pitched voice that always emerged, "it tickles."
"Here we go," I continued, holding out the York University hoodie that was way too big for him. He preferred it that way, though. He'd said once that it made him feel small and warm, which apparently helped the immersion. Ever since, I'd made sure it was ready for him when he entered the little headspace.
He held his arms out and slipped his head through, automatically pulling the hood to cover his face. I pushed it right back down so I could stroke my fingers through his hair. He reached out to hug my neck and I moved one hand down to hold him close to me. "I love you, Bear," I whispered as he tucked himself into my embrace once more. I picked him up then and left the bedroom. "Shall we watch Pooh Bear?" I asked when we stepped into the lounge. I set him down on the sofa, where he shuffled down to the arm and curled up. I watched him for a moment, and he nodded enthusiastically. He usually didn't talk much when he was Danny, but he was much more animated in his gestures, so it kind of evened out in the end. I set the film up quickly and settled on the floor in front of him. His hands immediately went to my hair, where he brushed his fingers through the locks over and over again.
Danny hummed along with the animals as they sang their songs and a few times, I heard him mumbling along with them as they talked to each other. His fingers eventually began to slow their movements, and when his hands finally dropped from my head, I glanced back to see that he'd fallen asleep, curled in on himself, bare legs poking out from under the hoodie that was more like a dress on his tiny figure. I watched his chest rise and fall steadily for a few minutes, and then I stood up to retrieve a blanket. He shivered slightly as I laid the cover over him, and his thumb went to his mouth, index finger curling around his nose again. He looked painfully adorable as he laid there, and I wondered if I'd be able to lay with him without waking him up. I didn't have to wonder for long because as soon as I got to my feet, his hand shot out to latch onto my arm, and I heard his barely audible murmur of, "Daddy, don't go."
"I'm not going anywhere, baby," I assured him, and he tugged on my arm, indicating for me to join him, so I did. He scooted back and I slipped under the cover beside him. His leg went over mine and he nuzzled up to my chest, pressing his face into my shirt. He was very cuddly when he was Danny, and I loved it. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him as close as possible, and I felt his lips through the fabric of my shirt as he pressed a tiny kiss to my chest.
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I pressed a palm to his front with a furrowed brow. He was definitely wet, but I hated to wake him up just for that. He spent a lot of time sleeping in this mindset, and I always thought that was the main point of it, reaching a corner of his mind where he could just shut everything off and recharge.
I removed my hand after a second, deciding to go ahead with it. Mainly because I didn't really know how many times he'd gone, and since he had no control over it when he was like this, there was no telling how much longer this nappy would last. I'd made that mistake the first time we tried nappies, and the experience was not something I'd like to repeat.
Luckily, he didn't notice when I removed myself from him and got up to get the things from my room. I came back with an armful and sat on the edge of the sofa, by his feet. He began to stir as I moved one of his legs over, and he was frowning when his eyes fluttered open. "It's all wet…" he complained, reaching a hand down to his crotch. I grabbed it before he could make a mess and held it to the side.
"Don't touch," I cautioned, patting his wrist. "I'll make it better." He kept his hands at his sides and picked at a string on the cushion. I undid the tabs quickly and lowered the flap to reveal his dick. He just watched me with a smile, eyes wide and bright; he was so innocent in this mindset. There was a certain art to this, which I'd had zero experience in before taking on this role with Dan, and I always surprised myself by getting better at it. He wriggled under my touch when I swiped a cloth over his inner thighs, but lifted his hips slightly when I tapped his side so I could remove the soiled nappy.
It was almost second nature swaddling him up in the new one, and, like clockwork, he squirmed when the powder hit his skin. When he was covered again, I tossed the soiled things into a bin I kept hidden behind the sofa for these moments and gathered him into my arms. "Made it all better…." He murmured against my shoulder, rubbing his hand in circles on my back. It never ceased to amaze me that he could comfort me even when he was in the middle of a crisis.
"It's almost bedtime," I mentioned after checking the time. It was kind of funny how these days were the only times either of us ever went to sleep at a decent hour. I could tell he was still tired because he didn't try to get me to let him stay up; he simply pulled back to see me, and then he nodded with a smile. His legs went around my waist and I stood up with him clutching my neck. "Hmm…" I began dramatically, eliciting another giggle from him, "should we sleep in my bed or yours?" I knew what he'd say; Danny loved bright colours. Ironic, since Dan's colour palette consisted of black and gray.
"Yours!" he called out cheerfully. He rested his head on my shoulder as we made our way through the flat, and he was asleep again by the time I laid him out on the bed. As soon as his head touched the pillow, he rolled onto his side and reached out for something, maybe me. I stripped down and went to my side, smiling when I saw that his eyes were open. "Bedtime," he stated, patting the space between us. I laughed, nodding in agreement, and settled down beside him.
"Sweet dreams, love," I said, pulling him close. He watched me for a moment, brown eyes wide, and lifted his thumb to his lips. I leaned forward to kiss the hand sticking out and wrapped an arm around his waist. His free hand moved to my chest, where he palmed the skin between my nipples and slid his fingers up slowly, until they were resting under my chin. After I was sure he was asleep, I took his hand in mine and twisted our fingers together. Today was the first time in a long while that he'd been like this during the daytime, and if I was being quite honest with myself, I hoped it would happen more often.
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I woke up to a pair of lips on my neck. As soon as I came to my senses, I realized it was Dan, and once I realized that, I could feel his palms on my chest. I'd turned over at some point during the night, so I rolled back to face him. He was obviously back to his adult self, as there was no child-like innocence in his expression; on the contrary, he was wearing a rather devilish grin.
"Good morning," he greeted, leaning forward to press his lips to mine, hands on my cheek, fingers curling over my ear. His hobbit hair was in full force, but that wasn't very surprising. He was smiling when he finally pulled away. That was his favorite way to show me he was out of the little headspace.
A/N: GUYS. I can't even tell you how much I love this thing that I wrote.
If you're interested, you can send me a prompt on here, or to my tumblr (certiphiedphantrash) because I want to write more things, but I only have so many ideas.
