Respite

Michonne stood in the doorway of the bathroom and watched Rick. Her lips parted as she took shallow breaths taking in the moment. Actually, it wasn't the moment she was taking in, it was him. Every inch of him. He was barefoot and shirtless in faded black jeans that were so worn-out they were gray in some places. His body was battle-worn but still strong with knife and gun wounds and bruises visible over his torso. It was an endless story underneath his clothes of what he had been through. Each scar was a badge of honor he proudly wore as the cost for protecting those he loved.

Her right hand slid around his body and rested against his lithe waist as she gripped his left bicep and placed three languid kisses on his shoulder. It felt so good being against his bare skin.

"Sasha asked me if I could have seen us together before the world changed; if we would have been compatible in the old world." She held her breath but when she didn't hear a response she looked into the mirror to see him watching her. His look was a mixture of amusement and something else, something she couldn't read. Was it curiosity? Apprehension?

"What did you say?"

Instead of an answer she gave him a slight shrug with one shoulder. She didn't want to admit she thought about this numerous times and her answer was always a definitive no to them falling in love in their former life. "Other than being, in her words, stone cold killers, we have nothing in common in her opinion."

"Well, let's see," he said as a playful smile tugged on his lips. "Music. I like Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Marshall Tucker Band, and The Allman Brothers. You?"

"Nina Simone, Bonnie Raitt, The Kinks, and of course, Prince."

"Beer."

She made a face and shook her head. "Wine. Pinot noir."

"Steak."

"Sushi."

"Disgusting."

She smiled at the face he made. The same one Carl made about soy milk. "Have you ever tried it?"

"No."

She laughed and ran her hand over his stomach, smiling as she watched his eyes close at the feel of her touch on his body. After a final peck on the shoulder, she walked out of the bathroom and into the adjoining master bedroom.

"Football," Rick yelled out at her.

"Tennis," she said as she removed all her clothes except for her underwear and folded them neatly in a chair before climbing into bed and sliding underneath the cool white sheets. She inhaled the scent of the lavender spray she adorned their sheets and pillowcases with each week.

She found it when they cleared a house on an isolated dirt road, actually it was more like a path than a road. It was hidden from the main street and overgrown vegetation. It was a gold mine and it obviously belonged to an extreme couponer. The garage was full of toilet paper, laundry and dish detergent, scented candles, deodorant, disposable razors, canned goods, drinks, and more. They had to use the RV to haul everything back to Alexandria.

Rick exited the bathroom and tossed his jeans in the same chair against the wall where she carefully placed her clothes. Pre-end of the world that would have annoyed her. Mike constantly told her to not sweat the small stuff but she didn't think that was possible. Little did she know it was possible, she just needed the world to end before it could happen.

She admired Rick's lean frame as he walked across the room in his boxers. Though they lived together for months, they never saw each other less than fully clothed. He never walked around shirtless and she never walked around showing her legs. The first time she saw his bare chest was the first night they made love and now she couldn't get enough of seeing him this way. She even found the way his silver watch contrasted against his tanned skin sexy. She was in love with this man for so long and she didn't even realize it. She had to be to swoon over the tiny things she noticed about him. She shook her head with a smile, something she had done often as of late.

The heavy blue curtains were almost always open so when he opened the window the autumn breeze blew the second set of window dressing, sheer white curtains. It was so quiet they could hear the sound of the sporadic raindrops on the windowpane.

"Maybe I should keep the window closed," he said.

"No, leave it open. I love the rain and it's just a drizzle."

Just as she turned her back to him he joined her in bed and wrapped his arms around her. "This is nice," he whispered in her ear.

Her response was a slight moan as she pushed her body back against his. At times, it didn't feel as if they could ever be close enough when they hugged or even made love.

This was their thing, under the sheets in the middle of the day, embracing each other, taking each other in. They tried to sneak away whenever the day allowed which was typically three days a week, four if they were lucky. The thirty minutes were long enough to quell their new love need to be together and short enough that no one missed them too much.

Their midday respite was possible because the days behind the walls of Alexandria were becoming mundane. It was almost like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. She could set a watch by Olivia opening the pantry or the change of shift for the watch tower. Even Judith settled into a schedule. Unfortunately, it meant waking up before the sun came up but she was consistent.

She sighed at the feel of his warm chest against her back and his hand on her hip. It sent a shiver down her spine. No matter how many times he touched her, that initial touch was always like the first time. And she felt at ease. Amazing how quickly she went from lonesome warrior to feeling her safest when he was near. No one in this new world could make her feel more content. There was no one place in the world she'd rather be than right here, right now.

"My favorite movie is Shane. How about yours?" He asked as he traced a circle with his finger on the flesh of her hip.

She could feel his breath on the back of her neck and it took a moment for her to compose herself. "Shawshank Redemption, Alien, L.A. Confidential, but I'm really a theater lover. My Fair Lady and Fences are my favorites. Wow, we really have nothing in common."

"It just proves that the only things that matter are the things that matter."

Profound. He was a man of few words, but those few words were just as impactive as his actions. He was right. They were together because only the important things were worthy of their focus. Who a person was at their core. They were stripped off pretenses, societal boxes, and standards. Her urban upbringing and his country roots didn't matter. The world showed them tax brackets, zip codes, and college rankings were irrelevant. What mattered in this new world was loyalty, trust, and determination.

"If I asked you out before, would you have said yes?"

She didn't know how to answer so she put the spotlight back on him. "Would you have asked?"

"Probably not."

"Why?"

"Well, I was married." He chuckled.

"Uh uh. That's too easy. If you weren't married." She pulled his arm around her waist .

"No."

That was disappointing even though it shouldn't be. She was more than happy in her previous life with Mike in the role of her partner. She still couldn't help but make assumptions about Rick. Unfair assumptions because, despite her initial behavior when she showed up at the prison, he had been nothing short of accepting. Well, once he got past trying to kick her out.

She briefly saw that picture of his wife when she was in that diner in King County with Carl. And Jessie, even though they never spoke of her, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew about his attraction to her. It was why she didn't act sooner that night they were walking through that herd. Had that been anyone but Jesse that had a hold of Carl and threatened his life, she would have chopped off their arm and not given it another thought. That's how much she loved Carl and that's what needed to be done. But deep down she knew, for Rick, there was something about Jessie. Whether it was in Rick's mind or even in his heart, Michonne didn't know, but something told her he didn't need to see her chopping off Jessie's arm. So no, she didn't know his full dating history but from what she knew, she felt like she would stand out in the crowd.

"Why not?" She held her breath as she counted the number of breaths he took before answering. It was three. Three long breaths that felt like forever.

"I have a feeling I'd be way too intimidated. I have a feeling you could hand someone their ass long before you learned how to use that sword."

Fair enough. Since high school, she heard how intimidating she was to the opposite sex. That's why she didn't have her first date or boyfriend until college.

"If I asked, would you have said yes?"

"Probably not." Which made her a hypocrite for being upset that he wouldn't have asked her out.

"Why not?"

"I would have been focused on the rat race."

"Rat race?"

"Yes, the corner office and my stock portfolio."

"See? Way out of my league. Back then you could have had anyone you wanted."

"I still can." She smiled.

He held her tighter. "True, so I have to know. Why me?"

His question made her frown. "What kind of question is that? There is no one else in this world for me. You're it. If it couldn't be you then I'd want no one else."

"Turn around."

She turned around so she was facing him. She placed her hand on his cheek then smiled as he moved against her touch tickling her palm with his stubble. His weightless gaze transfixed her. Had he always looked at her that way and she missed it? No, during her old life she could always tell when a man was interested by the way he took her in, be it a pregnant stare or a quick glance. She had been on the receiving end of Rick's intense, almost stifling, stares numerous times but never one that told so much, that made him so vulnerable like this one. This one said love. This one said she had his heart as he seemed to search for some answer in her eyes.

"I'm a simple man with simple tastes, that is, until I met you. There's nothing simple about you."

She was always unconventional in almost everything she did which was why her time spent being a corporate gunner started to get to her. Before the world ended she felt like she was having some crisis. She was suffocating and restless and ready to walk away from it all. But when those feelings surfaced she always pushed them away. Her life was what she was supposed to do, it was the responsible thing, especially since she had a son. But all she wanted was to travel and eat exotic foods while showing Andre the world and all it's beautifully different people. She wanted anything but that tired, stuffy so-called American dream. Meanwhile, Rick probably had family road trips and 4th of July BBQs, and dreamed of home ownership and two point five kids and a dog with his wife. She could see him coaching Carl's baseball team or leading is Boy Scout troop.

"Say something," he said.

"Say what?"

"Anything. I don't care what it is."

She laughed because she knew what he wanted to hear. He demanded it often since the first time she slipped into her second tongue during a particularly pleasurable lovemaking session. "Vous avez de beaux yeux tu sais. J'ai envie de t'embrasser."

"That was beautiful."

She brushed back an errant curl that fell across his forehead. "You don't even know what I said."

"It was in French and came out of this mouth." He ran his thumb over her bottom lip causing a shiver down her spine and a tingle on her lip. "It was perfect. But for the record, what did you say?"

"I said your eyes are beautiful. I want to kiss you."

"See? Beautiful."

As if she would say anything less than that in this moment. Their moment. He leaned in the two feet that separated their faces. It was so close but too far when all she wanted was his mouth on hers. Never could she have imagined two feet would feel like the distance around the world.

"I can't wait to hear more of that tonight." He laughed at her as she gawked at his randy comment.

She never envisioned he would be the guy he was in bed. Not that the thought entered her mind before that evening on the couch, but she would have pegged him as a timid guy, maybe even sweet to a fault when it came to all activities sexual. Never did she think he would be the guy commanding her to say and do things and boldly staring into her eyes as he did. But it made sense. He was bossy as hell and loved to be in charge.

Before their first night together she noticed things about him, both physical and personality-wise that she found to be attractive qualities. But those things never meant being in love with him in her mind. When he saved her that day at the prison and was imploring her to tell him her name, she noticed the intensity of those beautiful blue eyes. She noticed his fierce loyalty to his friends. His animalistic protective nature of his children. Even his voice. It was like a chameleon changing with his mood. There was the gruff one that signified his fearless leader mode. There was the soft and melodic one, reserved mostly for Judith, but there when they needed to hear that everything would be okay. There was the present one, the sexy one, that she never heard before they became one. That was her favorite.

"You should do this more often," she whispered as she gently ran her finger over his bottom lip.

"Do what?"

"Smile. A genuine smile. Not the ones you give when you're placating someone or because you don't know what to say. The one that makes those crinkles next to your eyes.

"Amazing. From the moment I met you you blew my mind. And you still do."

Months ago she couldn't imagine having a moment like this where the world slowed down and there was peace. For so long, while out on the road, they struggled so hard to survive that they started to believe they would never be able to live again. But the last few months in Alexandria taught them that if they couldn't enjoy these moments of laughter, happiness, and love, then what was the point? Why fight so hard? They couldn't put life on hold waiting for real life because this wasn't a nightmare. No one pressed a pause button on life; this was life.

From the moment she stopped distrusting him she admired him, was loyal to him. He made her change for the better and that created a fierce loyalty she couldn't explain with mere words. These feelings came out of nowhere because she was convinced she'd never find this again. Sure, she could have friends, love Carl, and even love Rick. But this kind of relationship and intimacy she never thought was possible. She didn't think she could find someone she could trust. After Mike's failure, The Governor, and Merle, she convinced herself this world was full of men who would disappoint, hurt, and destroy. For so long her heart was encased in an impermeable box where these feelings couldn't exist.

The quiet was interrupted with the sound of Carl screaming for his father. "Dad." Then there was the plodding of his footsteps coming up the stairs getting closer to their room. "Dad."

"Carl, in here."

Neither had to worry about Carl opening the door. He learned his lesson about opening their closed bedroom door unannounced a few weeks back. Nothing like looking into the eyes of your best friend as your father takes her from behind to scar a kid.

"Abraham and Eugene need to talk to you. They say it's important. Something about a game changer."

"Alright. On my way." He sighed and looked her with an apologetic roll of his eyes. "Sorry."

They watched each other as he got dressed and she remained in bed.

Before he opened the door he turned and looked at her. "Meet you back here tonight?"

"It's a date." She smiled.