It had just about melted his heart when his little Rachel had called him "Pa." Before that day, being the bachelor he was, he had never known what it felt to have people needing you and trusting you to take care of them. It was an exhilarating feeling, but with a weightiness to it. Can I actually do this? he asked himself. When his responsibilities started feeling too many, he'd just think of how much he had longed for a father when he was growing up, and just remembering the still-lingering empty place in his heart was enough to give him the courage to keep slugging on.
The problem was that he really wasn't sure how to be a good father. He'd never had one, to speak of, so that left lots of questions about what to do lingering in his mind. But there was a solution to that, too. Just one look at his friend Daniel Boone was all it took to know exactly what a strong and caring father looked like. If I can only be half the father Daniel is to his children, I'll be happy, Josh would tell himself. But he would always remember that enough wasn't what he was striving for. He wanted the best for the children.
That's the only reason he even considered marrying the widow. He wanted the best for the children, even if it meant sacrifices for himself. LOTS of sacrifices. Even so, it made him ever so relieved when he realized that wasn't what his children wanted either. If they were satisfied with just him as their father, he would certainly never complain. "Marriage just isn't for me," he would tell Daniel. While Daniel seemed mostly convinced that Josh was a happy bachelor, Becky most definitely was not. She was sure that someday, somehow, a woman would walk into Josh's life and stay there, sweeping him off his feet (at least as much as a woman can sweep a 6' 3" man off his feet).
Josh was not a believer in this fancy of Becky's. In fact, Becky was probably the only woman he could stand to be in the same room with for any length of time. Women are just so unpredictable and clingy, he would say. And that's what he believed, too. That is, until a certain day in the spring after he took the children in.
The day started out pretty normally. Josh woke up bright and early, rolled out of bed, and stumbled to the fireplace to start a fire and started to rustle up something for breakfast. He was kneeling and stirring the fire when he heard from behind him, "Good morning, Pa."
He turned around to see Rachel sleepily walking to him with her light blonde hair mussed up, rubbing her eyes. "Good morning, Rachel. You're up early," he said as he pulled her into his arms for a hug.
She wrapped her arms around his neck as she replied, "I wanted to see you before you left hunting."
As he released her, he smiled into her eyes and said, "I'll get breakfast ready so I can get an early start. I'll be back before you can say Jiminy Cricket."
Rachel smiled back and sweetly answered, "I know!" and then bustled around helping him make pancakes. For a minute, he just sat on his heels and watched her, enjoying her trying to mother him.
Billy was soon up and awake, and they had food on the table in a jiffy. As the three sat down, Rachel piped up with, "It's Billy's turn to say grace."
They bowed their heads and Billy prayed, "Dear God, thanks for the food and-and- for everything. Amen."
As they ate, Billy and Rachel kept a good chatter going, and Josh joined in the fun. He always felt bad when he had to leave Billy and Rachel, so he tried to make his absences as few and as short as possible. He still loved to wander unknown paths and see new places, but he always felt something pulling him home, so he didn't go far.
After breakfast was done, Rachel hopped up and declared she would wash the dishes so Josh could leave. He complied, not willing to argue with his little lady. He put his buckskin coat on, shouldered his pack, and picked up his rifle. He turned to his children and said "Goodbye!" as he stepped out of his cabin and into the woods. He listened and watched the forest intently, watching for an animal.
"Ughh," he groaned when he remembered that first of all, he needed to make the trek to the fort to get a bag of cornmeal. It's not that he really minded going to the fort and catching up on the news, but when his mindset was on hunting, it was not his idea of a good day.
But, they needed the cornmeal, so he turned his steps in the direction of Boonesborough. Maybe I can stop in on Dan and Becky, he thought, becoming happier.. It's been too long since I've seen 'em. The warm spring day was pleasant, and the dead leaves in the forest crunched softly as he walked along the path. The green of awakening plants was eclipsing those last remaining reminders of last autumn, and the young, new leaves were appearing on the trees, giving the forest an aura of rebirth.
It wasn't long before he was inside the gates and his long steps were headed towards Cincinnatus' store. On the way across the common, however, he caught a wisp of a conversation, which made him perk up his ears and listen.
"Of course I came here by myself. What would you expect?" an indignant female voice declared.
"You must be crazy," came an equally confident voice, this time a man's.
Josh looked around to see the people carrying on in such a way. A tall, dignified woman with dark chestnut hair wrapped into a neat bun stood toe-to-toe with a man Josh recognized immediately as the notoriously snoopy troublemaker Jim Butler. The woman, however, was quite a stranger.
"I don't know that it's any business of yours whether or not I'm crazy," the woman rebutted.
Jim rolled his eyes. "Women these days just don't know how to behave."
"I beg your pardon!" she heatedly replied.
"I meant every word I said," Jim stood his ground.
"In that case, I don't even need to excuse myself," she replied as she picked up two satchels and walked purposefully into the store.
Josh stood where he was, a good fifty feet from the whole scene, but even at his distance, he was impressed by the lady's fierce independence and ability to stand up to Jim. Then he recollected himself and followed in the fire trail of the lady.
When he entered the room, he could see her conversing with Cincinnatus, but when he was within earshot, she had thanked the old man and turned to head back out of the tavern. "Good day," Josh remembered his manners and tipped his hat as she walked by. For a moment, the fire was subdued in her green eyes, and she smiled at him, with dazzling brilliance.
She was soon gone and Josh had a job to do. He shouldered his cornmeal and pocketed the bag of candy for Billy and Rachel, and headed out into the bright morning sunshine. He looked around as he took long strides towards Dan and Becky's house. Birds were singing happily in the trees and the countryside was coming alive in vibrant green as spring took hold of the land.
Meanwhile at Dan and Becky's cabin, the lady Josh had just met was stepping onto the porch. She set her bags down and knocked on the door. "Hello?" she called.
The door opened, then Becky exclaimed, "Martha! You finally made it!" and threw her arms around the other woman.
After a long hug, Becky released her to look Martha over. "You've grown up a piece since I last saw you," Becky smiled. I'm so glad you came!"
Martha smiled bashfully. "I'm just glad you wanted me to come. I felt so lost and empty after Mother and Father died."
Becky gave her a compassionate look and put a hand on Martha's cheek. "It hurts, doesn't it. But we can help each other now."
Martha held back tears willfully and nodded, before turning to pick up her bags. Becky held the door open as Martha stepped into the homey cabin. The newcomer looked around at the comfortable surroundings. Becky followed and said, "If it's alright with you, you can stay with Jemima. I think you'll get along just fine. She's nineteen and Israel is fourteen."
Martha smiled. "It sounds just fine. I look forward to getting to know her."
At that instant, Israel and Jemima appeared in the doorway, each carrying a bucket of milk and Jemima with a basket of eggs. Becky introduced them, "Martha, this is Jemima and Israel. 'Mima probably remembers you, but Israel was too young to remember."
"It's nice to see you, Martha. I'm glad you came," Jemima smiled her pleasure.
Israel welcomed her with a "I hope you like it here." Then the two of them left the house again.
Becky showed her the side room where Jemima slept and left her to get settled. Martha unpacked, hanging up her dresses and setting her books on the table beside her bed. Then she just sat on the bed and thought. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of her parents. Oh, why does it hurt so bad? It feels like just yesterday we were all happy together. I wish the pain would just go away. Her thoughts were full of sorrow as she tried to deal with the loss of both her parents.
Becky was standing on the porch, looking out to see if she could spot her husband coming home. He had left three days before on a hunting trip, and was expected back anytime. She didn't see him, but she did see a different tall figure approaching from the fort. "Hi Josh!" she called to him and waved.
He waved back, and when he got to the cabin, he set down his sack and asked, "Where's Dan?"
"He's gone hunting. I think he'll be back today," she answered.
"Okay. I was just down at the fort gettin' supplies, so I supposed I'd stop by to say hi," Josh said.
Just then, the door opened and Martha stepped out. "Who's here?" she asked. Then she looked at Josh, and Josh looked at her, both with puzzled looks. Then understanding dawned to both of them and they smiled at each other. Becky was confused, and she asked, "What's going on now?"
Martha laughed as she explained, "We met at the fort just now. I'm afraid I still haven't been introduced."
It was Becky's turn to laugh. "Alright, Josh, this is my niece, Martha. She's gonna be staying with us."
Josh tipped his hat and said, "Nice to meet you, Martha."
She smiled, and walked over to shake his hand. Becky enjoyed watching the whole thing. Why isn't Josh clamming up like he usually does? Women make him nervous. was her main thought as the two shared a firm handshake. Then she had to ask about Josh's little charges. "How are Billy and Rachel, Josh?" she asked.
Josh grinned. "They're doing just fine. Rachel still tries to mother me, though. I can't really get her to stop. Well, I'd better be headin' on outta here, speakin' of the youngins," Josh picked up the cornmeal and headed up the trail to his cabin, leaving the two women standing on the porch, watching him leave.
Martha was full of questions. "Who is he?" she started.
Becky hid her amusement at Martha's interest in the tall backwoodsman and answered her questions. "He's one of Dan's friends. He's always been a rambler, but just this spring he adopted two little orphans from New Orleans. He's settled down a lot now."
Next Martha asked, "Does he have a wife?"
Becky shook her head, "He's not married."
Martha looked incredulous, "What!? How could someone that handsome-" she cut off abruptly, and Becky smiled knowingly. Martha picked up again, "You mean he's raising those kids all alone?"
Becky nodded. Martha looked impressed, and said admiringly, "That's so sweet! Imagine a man taking in children just because he has a heart for it."
Whatever else Becky and Martha were going to say, we'll never know, because just then a very tall man came into view as he emerged from the forest, taking long strides towards the house. "Dan!' Becky exclaimed as she ran to meet him. Unladylike as it was, she held up her skirts and ran to greet her husband. When they met, he wrapped his arms around her, lifted her up and kissed her soundly. "I'm glad you're home," she whispered as he held her tightly.
He finally let her go and said, "And I'm glad to be home." Their fingers interlocked and then they turned their steps toward the cabin, smiling at each other. Dan's eyes fell on the unfamiliar figure on their porch. With a look of surprise, he abruptly asked, "Who's that?" he asked.
"Well, Martha finally made it, and she needs our help, badly, " Becky explained.
Dan nodded in understanding, and gave her a sympathetic look. "Grief is hard enough with someone beside you. I can't imagine going through it alone."
Becky didn't say anything, but she squeezed his hand in understanding. As they came up to the porch, Dan smiled his welcome to Martha, and approached her saying, "I'm glad you came. My, have you grown!" Martha hesitantly walked toward him. His fatherly instincts kicked in, and knowing what she felt and what she needed, he opened his arms to her and she complied. He whispered compassionately, "I'm so sorry, Martha."
He could feel the tenseness in her body as he hugged her to him, as she held all her emotions inside. Martha pulled away, and then they walked into the cabin, with Dan starting to ask her about her trek. "How was the trip?"
The three of them sat at the table in the middle of the cabin, with Martha between the couple. Martha smiled. "It was pleasant. The view of the country was so beautiful. I wonder what it's like to actually live in a place this pretty. I guess the big city of Boston is a bit different from out here." Then she paused and laughed out loud, before explaining, "The only complaint I have is a man at the fort who was hounding me about how I was unladylike and foolhardy for coming out all by myself."
Becky and Dan smiled at each other knowingly. "It must have been Jim Butler," Becky shook her head. "He never knows when to back off, and he has a problem with women doing anything besides sitting at home daintily sewing patchwork quilts Don't mind him."
Martha answered, "I don't care what he or anyone else thinks, for that matter. If they mind, it's not my problem."
Becky smiled. Dan did too, and with a twinkle in his eye he bemoaned, "It looks like now I'm stuck with three stubborn and independent women on my hands now. I'm not sure if I can handle the extra challenge."
Becky said, "Dan! You know you wouldn't want us any other way."
Dan smiled lovingly back at her, "You're absolutely right."
Martha looked from Dan to Becky with a concerned look on her face, and slipped out of her seat, leaving them beside each other. "I think that was my exit cue," she nervously said as she backed away.
The couple laughed, and Dan said, "Always cautious. It's the safe way, but you don't have to worry. Your parents must have taught you well." With that he looked at Becky with a wink, then suddenly realized what he had said as Martha's face froze. Dan quickly apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't think…"
Martha gave him a small smile and assured him, "It's alright." Becky patted the place Martha had been, and she sat down again. Becky put an arm around her niece's shoulder and said, "If you ever need to talk, just go right ahead. We're all hurting, but we still can help each other."
Martha nodded wordlessly, biting her lip to keep the tears from flowing.
Meanwhile, Josh made his way towards his home. The sun was shining down through the trees with new leaves. Just now, though, he was oblivious to the beauty of the scenes around him. His mind was in a different place: at the cabin he just left. She's the spunkiest girl I've seen. Think of her, facing off with Jim. That takes guts. Josh laughed at the memory of Martha staring down the man who dared to question her actions.
Just then he heard rustling to the left of the trail. He stopped, set down the bag of cornmeal, and studied the area while lifting his musket. There, standing 30 feet from the trail, was a deer, eating the new blades of grass. He aimed and pulled the trigger with the speed and skill of an experienced hunter. As the sound exploded through the forest, the bullet hit home and his deer fell to the ground.
When he got the deer and the supplies from the fort all home, he sat down at his table, tired from the eventful morning. Rachel had lunch ready, and he submitted to her mothering for once. This was a productive morning, he thought, then his mind changed courses. I wonder when I'll see Martha again. She sure was pretty. Then he stopped himself, because after all, he wasn't interested in women.
At the Boone's, Jemima walked up to the house carrying an armload of flowers. She stepped through the doorway, and when she saw her father sitting at the table, her face lit up and she squealed, "Pa!' and ran over to throw her arms around him. She did remember to lay her flowers down on the table first, but then she flung herself into his open arms. He hugged her to him and kissed her hair. Then she sat beside him, with her head against his shoulder.
Becky turned from the hearth with a smile and said, " 'Mima, if you'll get Israel, we can have lunch now."
Jemima called out the door, and Israel came bounding in. "Well, hello Israel," Daniel greeted. Israel was giving him a quick hug in a second, and then eagerly awaiting the arrival of food on the table. The whole family sat around the table, Dan presiding at the head, Rebecca at his left, and Martha beside her, Jemima at his right and Israel beside her. Dan prayed, "Dear Lord, we thank You for all your blessings. Thank you for allowing Martha to come here, and please help her have a nice visit. Oh, and thanks for the food, and bless the hands that prepared it. Amen."
Although Martha didn't know her aunt or uncle very well, she felt at ease here around the family table. There was something welcoming about the Boones that put her at ease, but she couldn't put her finger on it exactly.
So the days went by, as Martha slowly became comfortable with her new family. She still wouldn't let herself talk about her parents or even cry. Even though Martha kept her pain tucked deep inside, Jemima became a good friend, and they loved to walk through the forest, talking about anything and everything. Martha's constantly happy mood was just a front. It wasn't too hard to tell, but the question was what to do about it.
One evening, six days after her arrival, the matron of the house was puzzling over the issue. Everyone else had gone to bed, and Daniel and Rebecca sat side by side beside the hearth on the high-backed bench. She was mending one of Israel's shirts, and he was cleaning Tick-Licker. They worked in companionable silence, until Dan finished, sighed, and set his musket aside. He turned to her and asked, "Now what are you thinking about, Becky? I know you're mulling over somethin'."
Becky looked up from her work to look at her husband, and smiled when she saw the knowing look on his face. "You know me too well," she said with a smile. Then a serious look came over her face. "I'm just worried about Martha. I know she's holding a mighty lot of grief, but she won't let it out. And she has to deal with it sometime."
Dan listened thoughtfully to her, then answered, "You got it right. But I don't know there's much we can do. I still don't know how to deal with stubborn women." With that teasing last comment, he draped his arm around her shoulders. She laid the shirt aside, then scooted towards him and leaned against him, giving him a mock offended look.
"Don't start on that: you could have chosen someone more compliant to marry."
"Really? I hadn't realized that was an option. Then again, I think I did pretty well anyway," he answered, then leaned down and kissed her softly. When he pulled away, she buried her head in his strong chest and he tightened his arms around her. He spoke quietly, "I've noticed Martha holing up inside herself, too. It's not healthy for a body to hide hurt like that from other people. How 'bout we both watch out for chances to help her?"
Becky smiled and answered, "I knew there was a reason I married you. I found a man who cares about other people's grief."
Dan soberly added, "I don't know if I'd be as understanding if I hadn't had a share of it myself," and ran a hand over her hair.
"But with God's grace, we made it through."
"That we did, 'Becca. He's the only reason we're here today. I know we'll get through this too." Then they stared into the fire, lost in their thoughts. After a pause Dan said, "Shall we go to bed? We've hashed enough out tonight, I think."
They banked the fire with ashes for the night, then headed to their bedroom to get rested for the coming day.