Prologe: Grotesque, disturbing, crazy and a lot of other such words were never directed at the vongola thunder guardian. Even though it was probably the words that were most accurate, but I would not blame them. For they have not yet seen the true Lambo, and he will insure that it will stay that way. No one even had the tiniest suspicion, for he was always the innocent stupid sweet tooth Lambo.
I liked it. No, I loved it, I needed it, I craved it. They would not understand, they did not understand the beauty of death. They were disgusted with it, especially Tsuna. I saw it in his eyes every time Reborn talked about his missions or when he got a report from Mukuros mission. Gokuderas eyes had the same disgust but I did not care much about his thoughts.
My eyes held a different disgust when Reborn talked about his missions, Tsunas eyes shined of pity for the victims, the sorrow over the fact that they had to die and disgust of Reborn over the fact that he did it.
I hated Reborn, more so now then back when I was five. Back then it was annoyance over that he would not acknowledge me and admiration for him. Now it was a raging fury of hatred, though many people thought that it was the opposite, that I like him now. He was disgusting, the way he killed was disgusting. He killed them fast with a bulled, a gun. Guns were disgusting. His regrets and secret mourning was disgusting.
I was beautiful; the way I killed was beautiful. Knives were beautiful. He would never know the beauty of cutting up a man, of feeling the beating heart in your hand and feeling the warm blood trail all over your body. I was beautiful, I was perfection. My choices were beautiful and my gleefulness was beautiful.
Recently he's been paying more attention to me, I pretended to be happy and excited whenever he talked to me, but in reality I wanted nothing else but to take my knife and –
I always liked violin. I would often go listen to the violin orchestra that played in the old theater, they were the best after all. The other never questioned where I was those nights, they thought I was having intimate meetings. Reborn liked sex; Reborn was disgusting so sex was too.
The first one to walk in on me killing was Chrome. It was mostly my fault; I was careless when deciding that killing the man on kokuyo school ground was a good plan. We were having a fun trip to namimori, so of course she would visit the old ruin of a school. She looked shocked to say the least, she looked scared and said some words I didn't hear. She looked disgusting, so I made her beautiful.
When they found her all of the vongola were out raged but me, she looked beautiful now. Mukuro was the angriest of them all; he should get angry more he looked beautiful when he was angry. The search for the killer was ended when a familiga I do not remember the name of, attacked not soon after the incident and mocked the death of the vongola guardian. All of vongola thought that it was that familiga who killed Chrome, and the familiga suffered quite a lot until it was burned to the ground. It was beautiful.
Reborn was the only one who noticed my lack of concern to the death of Chrome, and he questioned me about it. I simply replied with that I was a not that close to her, which was true but it seemed to shock him and he came to the conclusion that I had been crying all the time and pretended to be apathetic to the situation, which was good very good.
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