Hi. I'm the LazyToolshed – also known as Baron of Shadows (on HPFanficArchive, not here) – and, if you're not already aware, will be one hell of a dirty piece of trash. Dear lord, this will be bad.

If you're familiar with my work, which you're probably not, you should know that I'm currently writing two Harry Potter smut fics over on HPFanficArchive, and one includes a mother/four-year-old son relationship (including kinks such as breastfeeding) that'll likely grow to become mother/son/twin daughters/aunt kinda thing. And that's the tamer of the two, because the other includes things such as two sex slaves – one of which is the main character – and the aunt and mother of said sex slaves being their owners, not to mention urination, anal play, very severe spanking…

So yeah. Unethical stuff, and seeing it blatantly put together like that makes me want to laugh at my own perverseness, but you can sort of expect this fic to become the same. Nine-year-olds going at it, completely out-of-proportion boobs the size of Tsunade's times two, Oroike no Jutsu kinky stuff, threesomes, moresomes, golden showers, normal showers, incest, rape, breastfeeding, incest, and that's just the shit that I can think of off the top of my head.

I AM NOT EXAGGERATING. Some people were surprised that, when they read this, what I said was true. If you don't like stuff like this, don't continue. Someone commented that they felt sick - well, I warned you, didn't I? While not all of the above holds true for this chapter specifically, it will appear sometime in the future, and don't be surprised when it does.

Honestly, this fic, if it somehow manages to stay up despite 's rather harsh rules against MA-rated stuff, will probably be the perfect example of how complacent the mods really are.

One last thing; this will be updating SLOWLY. Months might pass in between chapters. But that's just because I rarely, if ever, feel like writing. So take it or leave it; I really don't care, as long as people appreciate the smut.

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Chapter 1

The Hyuuga were all, without fail, highly perverted.

They had eyes that could see through walls, for fuck's sake. Nobody in the hot springs was ever safe from their eternal gaze. Not that they knew of that, of course.

The Sandaime – and wielders of the Byakugan would forever bless his perverseness – had promised to have his best Sealmasters inscribe the seals used to provide privacy while within the Hyuuga compound around the hot springs, to protect the visitors against their unyielding, lecherous gaze, after a particularly shameless Hyuuga was spotted sitting around the hot springs with activated Byakugan and a raging boner he failed to hide completely from vengeful women.

His best Sealmasters were, of course, the same people that made the seal for the Hyuuga side branch; the Hyuuga Clan Elders, who diligently went to work with their tiny, precise brushes to provide the visitors of the hot springs with the privacy they oh-so-rightfully deserved.

(The seals were, by the way, a bunch of random symbols that glowed because someone had, at some point, fed a tiny trickle of Chakra into them. So the Hyuuga were free to stare all they wanted at the majestic boobs of bathing Kunoichi and the hard, muscled chests of relaxing Shinobi, because never let it be said that only Hyuuga men were lechers, safe in the knowledge that they wouldn't be suspected of peeking even if they sat right outside the fences for hours on end.)

The current Clan Heiress, Hinata, was more perverted than the best of them, which had come as a surprise to most (to most, but not to the people that had known her mother, Hitomi, intimately). While the entire clan, basically constantly seeing each other in the nude if they had their Byakugan activated and made even the barest of efforts, still bothered to at least pretend not to be that way – putting on clothes even though it really didn't make a difference, for one – seven-year-old Hinata didn't even take notice, and instead walked around in the nude all day, not even taking the time to seek some sort of rudimentary privacy such as a bathroom – which were just as well-protected as the hot springs – to diddle herself to an orgasm with her already developing tits.

Hiashi had taken her to a doctor, just to make sure her very, very early ascent into puberty wouldn't cause any problems later on down the road, but said doctor, a female Hyuuga, had assured him that all that was happening to Hinata was perfectly natural, and merely occurring a bit early, before promptly dropping down on her knees and offering her Clan Head a blowjob as payment instead of the usual five hundred Ryo check-up fee.

Hinata hadn't even batted an eye as her father and his not-so-distant relative went at it right in front of her, instead taking the time to relieve herself of an orgasm that'd been bugging her for quite some time, and that, more than anything, spoke wonders on the true perverseness of the clan.

Was it really such a wonder, then, as a girl that stood out even amongst fellow perverts, that someone would eventually get sucked into the raving tornado of sexuality that was Hinata?

Enter her crush, Naruto.

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The first time Hinata saw him, she'd found herself having to hide behind a conveniently-placed nearby wall, trying – and likely failing, judging from the faces of the people around her – to stifle the loud 'Kawaii!' that threatened to escape her treacherous, nine-year-old throat.

She honestly couldn't help it. His whiskers were just too adorable! And his hair! Oh, she could run her fingers through them for ages…

Then, she'd activated her Byakugan to take a quick peek at what hid behind the orange jumpsuit, and promptly had to stifle a moan.

Nine-year-olds should not be that well-hung!

(Nearly a decade later, seal-Kushina would laughingly explain that particular aspect of his physique by pointing out that the Uzumaki Life Force wasn't strictly Chakra-based, but changed things in their body as well, so they wouldn't end up wasting the fifty extra years they lived by not being able to move because of their brittle old bones. Apparently, that applied to genitals as well.)

Decision made very, very quickly, Hinata made her way over and slid into the seat next to him – and all of his four glorious inches, which would only grow, and grow, and grow as he came into her begging pussy… ahem, came into puberty, yes, puberty – and extended her hand in a happy greeting. "Ohayo, Classmate-kun! I'm Hinata Hyuuga. It's nice to meet you!"

The cute boy looked taken aback by the familiarity – by the fact that anyone had come up and spoke to him at all, really – but accepted the hand anyways. "O-ohayo, Hyuuga-san." He replied, sounding a bit shaken. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to meet you too, I suppose."

Hinata frowned; not only had Naruto used her surname with a neutral suffix, even after she'd called him, quite clearly, 'Classmate-kun', he seemed rather dejected as well, almost as if he didn't want to be there. "Well, that's not nice, is it?" Hinata reprimanded not unkindly, not paying attention to the startled look he gave her as she spoke. "I come up to you all nice and happy, and you come back with a pout, as if you didn't want me to sit here."

"T-that's n-not it at all!" Naruto's eyes grew wide as he swiftly waved his arms from side to side to convince her of his innocence. "I – I'm just kinda sad, Hyuuga-san. Don't mind me, please."

"It's Hinata-chan," Hinata told him sternly, "And what's going wrong in your life? Don't tell me someone died."

"N-no, Hinata-san." Naruto denied, and Hinata glared at him. "Hinata-chan." He amended quickly, and Hinata's glare turned into a fond (perverted) smile. "It's just – I was forced to stay behind a year, while my classmates went ahead. I got into the academy when I was five, and I was doing fine, but now that we've moved on to actual stuff, instead of sitting in a stuffy room all day, I wasn't able to keep up with the rest of the class."

"Why weren't you?" Hinata asked curiously, unable to stop herself. "Taijutsu? Chakra manipulation?"

"Nah." Naruto shook his head, wrinkling his nose at the unfamiliar terms. It was almost enough to send Hinata on another 'Kawaii'-ing spree, but instead it came out as nothing but a whimper, which Naruto blinked at but brushed off as nothing important. "I wasn't able to run as fast as the rest, even though I did better than the rest of the group in all training sessions, 'xcept for the final test.. Shiho-baka-Sensei said it had to do with somethin' called sta – sta – stamnah?"

"Stamina?" Hinata guessed, and smirked almost evilly when Naruto nodded in agreement. "Well, I think I know what to do about that. I'll give you some private lessons, right this afternoon."

"Really?" Naruto looked incredibly happy, and Hinata nodded with a smile. "Thanks, Hinata-chan! You're the best!" He exclaimed, reaching over to hug his new friend, and Hinata couldn't resist copping a feel of his behind.

She beamed.

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Much later that same day, Naruto was dragging Hinata along by her hand as he excitedly chatted about anything and everything that came to mind, while she listened with only half an ear to what he was saying as she glanced around her.

They were in… well, Hinata wouldn't call it the respectable part of town, which it was very, very clearly not, but it wasn't the Red Light District either, not by a long shot, just kinda somewhere in a happy in-between.

Then, just as Hinata was about to stare at some of the locals that kept glancing in their direction with constipated faces, Naruto promptly yanked her inside a rather old-looking building, which looked like it probably would've fallen over already if it weren't for the houses connected on either side.

"…And this is my apartment!" Naruto introduced grandiosely, throwing open the door they'd stopped in front of with a flourish. He flushed when he realised there were still Ramen cups from days before lying around, however, and he quickly hurried over to his small table to chuck them all down into his bin. "Yeah." He chuckled sheepishly. "It's not much, but make yourself at home."

"That I will, Naruto." Hinata smiled happily as she began unzipping the jacket she'd made sure to keep zipped up tight the entire day through, revealing the absolute nothingness that laid beneath. "There we go," She smiled happily, completely unbothered by the blonde's slack-jaw look. "No need for that pesky jacket while I'm in private. Now, where do I leave my shoes?"

She turned to ask this to Naruto, who immediately became crimson-faced, and pointed over to a small rack of orange jackets with a slightly trembling finger. "O-over there, Hinata-chan. B-but, why a-are you…" He trailed off there, seemingly unknowing of how to continue.

"Naked?" Hinata supplied helpfully as she bent down to get rid of her shoes, incidentally exposing her nine-year-old pussy, already dripping wet, to her newest friend. "You told me to make myself at home, didn't you?"

"S-so, you're naked at home, too?" Naruto asked tentatively, and Hinata nodded with a smile as she stood back upright.

"Yup!"

"A-alright…"

"Take your clothes off." Hinata commanded immediately after that, and Naruto yelped, staring at her with wide eyes.

"W-what?! W-w-why?"

"Because we're going to be doing Stamina training, of course." Hinata grinned, coming over to unzip his shirt when Naruto didn't look like he was about to. "A special kind I've never actually done before, but from how much Father seems to enjoy doing it all the time, I don't think it's going to be bad."

With the jacket and the shirt out of the way, Hinata instead turned her attention towards his pants, where the real treasure lay. After a quick bit of prompting, Naruto quickly lifted up his left foot to allow for room to remove his underwear and pants, and then shook the remnants off himself.

Now completely exposed to her, Hinata had to take a moment to appreciate the nine-year-old in front of her. He was an incredible specimen, honestly, and she was glad she found him and snagged him up before anyone else did… though Hinata definitely wouldn't be opposed to a threesome, if anyone were to offer at some point.

But she digressed, which was quite the accomplishment, given the gigantic thing currently blocking her vision of anything remotely distracting.

"W-w-what a-are we doing, H-Hinata-chan?" Naruto stuttered confusedly, bushing crimson, and Hinata beamed up at him from where she was inspecting his already hardening dick.

"It's called sex!" She chirped, reaching up with a hand to teasingly fondle Naruto's balls with a small hand. "Do you know what it is?"

Naruto's face, if possible, grew even redder, though if at the stimulation or the question, Hinata didn't know. "I-I've read s-some b-books on it, b-but…"

"Ah, well, then you know the basic stuff, right?" Hinata asked, and Naruto nodded hesitantly. "Right. Well, the kind of stamina training we're going to be doing involves a lot of sex. Sex is exercise – sexercise, if you will – and this is way more enjoyable than running laps around Konoha, isn't it?"

Hinata accentuated that statement by teasing the head of Naruto's dick with her tongue (her first taste of cock! Hurray!) and Naruto couldn't contain a small moan, though he quickly stifled it after. "So? You agree?"

Hinata didn't think she'd seen anyone nod faster than Naruto right then, and she smiled.

"Good."

Next thing Naruto knew Hinata had started suckling on the tip of his dick, rather like a baby on their mother's nipple, and he moaned again, reaching backwards for his table to help balance himself. "This tastes good." Hinata muttered to herself, surprised, and, hungry for more, engulfed the entire head in her mouth, suckling greedily to taste more of the good stuff.

Naruto moaned again, twitching his hips upwards on reflex, and his dick slipped deeper into Hinata's mouth. Hinata moaned in surprise at that, and reached up with one hand to brush the hair that had fallen into her face back, while her other hand dove down to her cunt to start fingering her pussy, like she'd done many times before – only now, she was sucking off Naruto while doing it, and Naruto certainly wasn't disappointed.

"H-Hinata-chan…" He moaned weakly, barely having enough strength to grab a chair before he collapsed from the sheer pleasure he was experiencing. "T-this feels incredible…"

Hinata smirked around the dick currently buried deep in her mouth, using her tiny tongue to lap at her treat. She'd gotten enough lessons from her mother in how to properly suck cock – with her father serving as willing example, of course – and even though said lessons had declined after the complications with childbirth gave Hitomi health problems, she'd practised on a dildo often enough by now to instinctively know what she was doing.

"H-Hinata-chan, I think – I think I'm going to –" But that was as far as Naruto got before he suddenly let loose, his dick twitching itself to an incredible orgasm as sperm erupted from its tip; unfortunately, Hinata only had a brief second to taste the heavenly drink before a second spurt came and she was forced to swallow the first ramen-flavoured batch to prevent herself from choking on the best thing in the world.

A few seconds later, Naruto sagged in his chair, looking completely spent, and Hinata pouted, removing her hands from where they'd been pleasuring her slit as she came to stand next to her boyfriend – which he definitely, definitely was, now – with a dejected expression on her face, reaching up with one hand to nibble a single finger cutely. "Aw, Naruto-kun, are you really going to leave me all worked up like this?" She pouted, crossing her hands under her chest to accentuate her growing nine-year-old chest, and Naruto immediately shot upright again, looking quite surprised.

"No, of course not, Hinata-chan!" He exclaimed, standing up quickly. Hinata giggled, taking his seat, and spread her legs wide open to reveal her dripping cunt, which was already making a small pool of juices on the chair. "What do I do?" Naruto asked, kneeling in between her legs, and Hinata smiled, laying her legs over Naruto's shoulders.

"Lick."

"Alright." Naruto mumbled confusedly, reaching forwards to extend his tongue towards her pussy – and Hinata moaned as her boyfriend started lapping like a kitten, his rough tongue sliding up and down and inside her dripping cunt as he sought to lather up the most juices he could, drinking it all greedily like it was ramen broth – and wasn't that a naughty thought?

Hinata gasped as Naruto's tongue flicked over her clit, her mind racing with naughty thoughts about serving breakfast in a slightly different way than was conventional. Another lick – another burst of pleasure – reminded her that there were bigger and better things to worry about, however; like the gigantic cock that was currently swinging uselessly between Naruto's legs, and the incredible, flexible tongue that was exploring the velvet walls of her nine-year-old pussy.

"Oh, N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata gasped, wrapping her legs around Naruto's head to trap him in her cunt. "Lick harder! Yes! Oh! Faster! Please!" She mewled, hands tugging harshly on her nipples as Naruto upped his pace, sticking his tongue in farther than anything had ever gone before. "Yes! Take me, Naruto-kun! Faster! This feels incredible! Oh! Naruto-kun! I'm coming!"

No sooner than she said that did she cum, and cum she did. Her cunt was gushing with fluids as she squirted, her cum flying high up past Naruto's head and splattering against the wall behind him, and it didn't take but half a second for Naruto to figure out where the fluids were coming from before he clamped his lips around her hole and sucked; and Hinata must've come a second time from sheer ecstasy alone as she cried out, fluids leaving her for Naruto's mouth faster than she ever thought possible.

At last, when her cunt was finally done cumming and Naruto stood up from his kneeling position to check up on how she was doing, Hinata smiled widely, beaming up at her boyfriend from where she was semi-passed-out on the chair. "Naruto-kun, we're doing this again, you know that, right?"

"What, right now?" Naruto looked surprised, and Hinata laughed, pulling him in for a kiss – and that was her first kiss, at nine years old, after sucking off and getting licked out by her new boyfriend! Best. Day. Ever.

"Of course not, Naruto-kun." She sighed happily, softly diddling with her cunt to ride out the remaining dredges of her orgasm. Naruto blushed at the casual display of sexuality, but Hinata didn't mention it, so he didn't either. "Not right now, but maybe in an hour… and then in another hour… and maybe again, then, just before I leave…"

Naruto pouted. "Can't you stay, Hinata-chan?"

Hinata laughed, pulling herself upright to give him another kiss. "I would love to, Naruto-kun, but Father and Mother would have my hide. I can stay for dinner, though. As long as I'm home before eight, they won't worry."

"Alright, Hinata-hime!" Naruto cheered adorably, reached out to pull his naked girlfriend into a hug. Hinata giggled at the nickname and, when his dick got trapped in between their bodies, and gave it a playful flick. Naruto blushed. "Can we eat Ramen, tonight? I've got quite a bit stashed around here."

"Sure, Naruto-kun." Hinata smiled, standing up with wobbly knees. "For now, though, how about some chakra training?"

"Hai, Hinata-hime!"

Not that far away, fresh ANBU-recruit Inu was panting as she removed her hands from within her uniform, where she'd been pleasuring herself to the sight of the two nine-year-olds. Inuzuka like herself usually never found their Alpha – their mate – until later in life, when they were ready to breed, but it seemed she'd accidently struck gold while guarding her target.

She sighed, lifting her mask a little to suck the juices off her fingers. Now, to hope that young Naruto-sama would actually accept her as his mate, despite her clan's inherent deformities…

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Note: Since I was unclear on this, Naruto is still a stamina freak. Thing is, his teachers all hate him, and want him to fail. This is obviously canon.

Even though Naruto was able to keep up perfectly well during all the practise runs and able to run laps around everyone - well, not really, but he definitely was able to outlast everyone else - he failed when it came down to it for no apparent reason. What does this tell us?

'Shiho-baka-sensei' drugged him. Drained his stamina, or whatever. Naruto isn't actually slow, or easily exhaustible, or anything like that. Shiho wanted him to fail, so he drugged him. Simple as that.

Hope this cleared things up a little.

Second note: Reviews, for some reason, don't work well with Gmail, and the site's being a bitch and not allowing me to check me reviews through here. If you can find the time, please PM instead. This'll also allow me to reply immediately, instead of having to wait a month or so until the next chapter's out.

This will, of course, no longer be necessary when the problem is fixed, but until then, PMs, please.