The earthy ground was beneath my feet, the stone was illuminated in the moon light. Hearing the wind whispering secrets to the dull stars made me look towards the trees as they stood watching over the stones like they were guardian angels. My face was dry, and still is. The feeling of nothing has been with me since the stone was engraved and the earth dug up.
My heart is now resting in the soil, along with her body. The day she died was the day I lost everything that mattered. She had blonde wavy hair that cascaded down to her elbows, her eyes were indigo and full of mirth, her smile was vibrant and bright and in the night sky she glowed along with the stars. I should start from the beginning but I won't, because if I did the pain would come back and cripple me to the ground.
My fiancé died last winter; she died on a blanket of snow. She was hit by a car, a car that had been speeding a car that hadn't stopped. When I first saw her she looked peaceful, but I knew she wasn't. I felt as if her soul was twisting and turning, she was screaming to be freed from this damned hell like place that most people call, The Place of the Dead.
I haven't done anything since last winter; I quit work, stopped visiting my family and unplugged the phone. I hardly eat or sleep, my eyes are constantly watery and dull. When children see me they run and hide fearing my gaze. My family tries, so do my friends, but I tell them to leave, leave and shut the door. I think about her daily, and I know that I need to find her, not her body that's forever in the ground but her, her soul.
Stepping outside of my dilapidated beach house I was greeted by the gulls calling to each other in deafening shrieks, it takes all my strength not to scream obscurities at them. I looked at the other houses, they were all brightly coloured and had potted plants in every window, mine was isolated, all alone and in a completely different world. I walked towards the dirty green water that was rolling towards my house; I took the same route we used to take together. As I approached the scattered rock pools I noticed a bottle, it was old and looked near cracking point, and inside was a note embellished with stars around the boarder. The wind around me picked up and forced me towards the bottle; my hand reached out at its own accord and scooped it up. I felt my breath grow heavier as I stared at the bottle; my hands were trembling as I pulled the cork out. I set the cork on the sandy floor before unravelling the letter; I took a deep breath and started to read
Freddie,
Once again I step outside of my house and gaze upon the many stars that patrol the night sky. You are inside watching the football, your wonderful, so, so wonderful. Now as I look upon the stars, I feel like something might happen, so I need to write this. I love you, you I love with all my heart, my soul and mind.
Yours,
Samantha Puckett, the woman who one day will be a star.
That night I watched the sky as it melted from indigo, violet and fuscia to black. One by one the stars popped through the fabric of the night darkness, I stared at them all. I looked at the smallest star, the one that had appeared last, I smiled for the first time since the snow, I felt tears roll down my now wet cheeks and thought to myself I've found her.