Author's note: Here's a new fic that has been collecting dust in my folder. It's based on a part of a Tennyson poem i found. Please R&R! Hope it doesn't get depressing in later chapters...but you can kinda tell from the poem can't you? :( Oh yeh...it's centered around Trunks and Pan.
Let the sweet heavens endure,
Not close and darken above me
Before I am quite quite sure
That there is one to love me;
Then let come what may
To a life that has been so sad,
I shall have had my day.
-Tennyson.
A cool breeze swept through the outside of the function building. Limousines lined the streets, the shiny paint gleaming under the dim glow of the street lights. The faint tinklings of music floated in the air as the Capsule Corp staff and friends partied it up during the annual ball.
In the nearby park sat a lone girl in a formal dress on a children's swing. A large, leafy tree cast shadows over a children's playground. In the poor lighting, one could see she was beautiful. Flawless porcelain like skin was enhanced by the moonlight. Intense dark blue eyes stared blankly into the dark. A body which would be a pleasant sight for sore eyes. Glossy black hair held up by a diamond studded clip, save several tendrils which framed the gentle curve of her cheek.
The deep blue silk dress did nothing to shield her from the cold. Though she was shivering in the cool breeze, she couldn't face returning to the building for her coat. No more of seeing a particular handsome man flirt with other girls, without a glance her way.
" Pan! What are you doing out here?"
A man with lavernder hair called out to her. She watched him as he whispered into another girl's ears. She watched that girl giggle and kiss him before returning inside the building.
" Whats up Pan?"
The man walked towards her, taking a seat at the swing next to her own.
" Nothing Trunks. Leave me alone. I'm enjoying my solitude."
" C'mon Pan. Come back to the party."
Trunks raked a hand through his soft lavender hair and grabbed her hand. For one fleeting moment, Pan felt warmth surging within her.
I...I have to tell him...but...
Pan pulled her hand away and kicked at the sand beneath her with her shoe.
" No...You got back. Have enough fun for the both of us. You've made a great head start already haven't you Trunks?"
Trunks frowned slightly at Pan's cold voice and shrugged.
" No way Panny! That's not part of our deal. Not until you tell me whats eating you!" he said lightheartedly.
Pan shifted her gaze back down from his face to the floor. Should she tell him? Her feelings raged inside her.
" Trunks...I'm 17 you know."
Sky blue eyes twinkled with mischief as they focused on her.
" And I'm 29...whats your point? That I'm old?"
Pan didn't seem to appreciate his humour as she replied in a flat voice.
" No...I'm going to leave for college tomorrow."
Trunks smiled began to swing back and forth.
" I always knew you were smart. You'll do well."
" That's not what I mean Trunks...Do you...Do you want me to leave?"
Trunks let himself come to a gentle stop and turned to look at her with a bewildered look.
" Well...not really. I mean you're one of my best friends."
" Will you miss me?"
Trunks was caught off guard with that question.
" Sure...everyone will."
Pan got up from her swing and stood in front of him. With the moon behind her, she seemed to look like an angel. Her deep blue eyes pierced into his.
" No. You don't understand my question. I'm asking YOU. Will YOU miss me?"
Trunks lifted a hand to loosen his collar, uncomfortable under Pan's pinning stare.
" Um...of course I will. You're my best-"
" Best friend right?" Pan interrupted. Her anger began to show in her voice. "Why do you have to be so BLIND?"
Trunks watched confused as tears began to sparkle in her eyes. Standing up, he pulled her into a tight hug to try and comfort her.
" What do you mean I'm blind Panny?" he said softly into her ear.
Being so close to him...she couldn't find the courage to tell him.
" I...I've got to go." She muttered, breaking out of his embrace.
Trunks grabbed her wrist before she could run away.
" Panny...why are you crying? Did I do something wrong? Did someone bully you?"
Once again they were standing close. This time Pan had no choice but to stare right into his eyes. When Pan didn't answer, Trunks assumed that he had found his answer.
" That's it isn't it? Tell me who it is and I'll arrange something."
" No!...that's not it. I don't understand..." Pan said while shaking her head. She could feel the tears roll down
her cheeks. " Bura-chan knows...even Uncle Goten knows! Why can't you figure it out? It makes me so angry...it hurts inside. I...I've got to go...let me go."
Trunks tightened his grip around her unknowingly to prevent her from leaving.
" no...don't leave. Tell me what you mean...what I'm supposed to figure out. Damnit Pan! Just tell me Pa-"
She slapped him.
His hand moved to automatically touch his flaming red cheek. He loosened his grip on her almost immediately in shock.
Pan took several steps back.
" Fine. I'll give you what you want BAKA. I love you. I've loved you ever since I could remember! But you still treat me like a kid. Like I'm your sister. But I'm 17 now Trunks. 17...It's too painful now to watch you will all those girls. It...it hurts so bad inside. I can't stand it!"
Finishing her outburst, Pan turned and took off into the sky, leaving Trunks standing alone in the park, completely shocked.
*********
I love you. I've loved you ever since I could remember!...it hurts so bad inside.
Trunks stared into his drink. It had only been a couple of hourse since the party, since Pan's confession. Now his entire life was turned upside down. He was confused as hell and was damned angry at himself for not realising earlier. Unlike the other relationships he had with girls, he simply couldn't figure what to do about this.
Even Goten knows! Why can't you figure it out?
She had yelled at him, sounded so angry, so tired...so confused. Same as he. He could see it all so clearly now, all the clues which had been under his nose the whole time. The gestures...the comments...the touches.
Then he remembered. She'd slapped him.
His hand once again reached up to touch his red cheek. The reddish tinge hadn't gone away, and it wasn't just the alchohol. He tipped more of the velvety liquid down, burning his throat as the potent liquid slid into his system. His eyesight began to waver as his whole body begain to relax. He stuggled to stay upright on the bar stool as his limbs turned to jelly.
" Hey sugar...looking for a good time?"
He lifted his head slowly to see an attractive woman in extremely small pieces of leather covering her body. He grunted in response as the woman led him away from the smoke filled bar.
******
Tears fell like rain as Pan sat alone on a rock. She looked out at the ocean before her which churned endlessly. The magnificent view of the ocean did little to cheer her up. Her hysterical sobs and hiccups had slowed to sniffling, though the tears still fell.
Why couldn't he understand?
Pan clenched her fists as she crossed her legs, one over the other.
Don't be stupid. He'll never love you.
WHY?
Because you're too young. Too much of a tomboy.
BUT I CHANGED.
He'll never see you as a woman.
Pan's head hurt from the mental torment. She knew all the logical reasons why Trunks would never love her, but her heart refused to listen. She tried to wipe her tears away with the back of her hand. It did nothing to slow her tears.
You're leaving tomorrow anyway. Forget him, forget everything. Don't come back.
Pan let her resolve harden before she made a move to leave. Suddenly a hand held a piece of wet cloth over her nose and mouth. The cloth smelled strangely sweet and intoxicating as she feld her limbs slacken.
Whats happening to me?
Those were her last thoughts as she slipped out of consciousness.
Let the sweet heavens endure,
Not close and darken above me
Before I am quite quite sure
That there is one to love me;
Then let come what may
To a life that has been so sad,
I shall have had my day.
-Tennyson.
A cool breeze swept through the outside of the function building. Limousines lined the streets, the shiny paint gleaming under the dim glow of the street lights. The faint tinklings of music floated in the air as the Capsule Corp staff and friends partied it up during the annual ball.
In the nearby park sat a lone girl in a formal dress on a children's swing. A large, leafy tree cast shadows over a children's playground. In the poor lighting, one could see she was beautiful. Flawless porcelain like skin was enhanced by the moonlight. Intense dark blue eyes stared blankly into the dark. A body which would be a pleasant sight for sore eyes. Glossy black hair held up by a diamond studded clip, save several tendrils which framed the gentle curve of her cheek.
The deep blue silk dress did nothing to shield her from the cold. Though she was shivering in the cool breeze, she couldn't face returning to the building for her coat. No more of seeing a particular handsome man flirt with other girls, without a glance her way.
" Pan! What are you doing out here?"
A man with lavernder hair called out to her. She watched him as he whispered into another girl's ears. She watched that girl giggle and kiss him before returning inside the building.
" Whats up Pan?"
The man walked towards her, taking a seat at the swing next to her own.
" Nothing Trunks. Leave me alone. I'm enjoying my solitude."
" C'mon Pan. Come back to the party."
Trunks raked a hand through his soft lavender hair and grabbed her hand. For one fleeting moment, Pan felt warmth surging within her.
I...I have to tell him...but...
Pan pulled her hand away and kicked at the sand beneath her with her shoe.
" No...You got back. Have enough fun for the both of us. You've made a great head start already haven't you Trunks?"
Trunks frowned slightly at Pan's cold voice and shrugged.
" No way Panny! That's not part of our deal. Not until you tell me whats eating you!" he said lightheartedly.
Pan shifted her gaze back down from his face to the floor. Should she tell him? Her feelings raged inside her.
" Trunks...I'm 17 you know."
Sky blue eyes twinkled with mischief as they focused on her.
" And I'm 29...whats your point? That I'm old?"
Pan didn't seem to appreciate his humour as she replied in a flat voice.
" No...I'm going to leave for college tomorrow."
Trunks smiled began to swing back and forth.
" I always knew you were smart. You'll do well."
" That's not what I mean Trunks...Do you...Do you want me to leave?"
Trunks let himself come to a gentle stop and turned to look at her with a bewildered look.
" Well...not really. I mean you're one of my best friends."
" Will you miss me?"
Trunks was caught off guard with that question.
" Sure...everyone will."
Pan got up from her swing and stood in front of him. With the moon behind her, she seemed to look like an angel. Her deep blue eyes pierced into his.
" No. You don't understand my question. I'm asking YOU. Will YOU miss me?"
Trunks lifted a hand to loosen his collar, uncomfortable under Pan's pinning stare.
" Um...of course I will. You're my best-"
" Best friend right?" Pan interrupted. Her anger began to show in her voice. "Why do you have to be so BLIND?"
Trunks watched confused as tears began to sparkle in her eyes. Standing up, he pulled her into a tight hug to try and comfort her.
" What do you mean I'm blind Panny?" he said softly into her ear.
Being so close to him...she couldn't find the courage to tell him.
" I...I've got to go." She muttered, breaking out of his embrace.
Trunks grabbed her wrist before she could run away.
" Panny...why are you crying? Did I do something wrong? Did someone bully you?"
Once again they were standing close. This time Pan had no choice but to stare right into his eyes. When Pan didn't answer, Trunks assumed that he had found his answer.
" That's it isn't it? Tell me who it is and I'll arrange something."
" No!...that's not it. I don't understand..." Pan said while shaking her head. She could feel the tears roll down
her cheeks. " Bura-chan knows...even Uncle Goten knows! Why can't you figure it out? It makes me so angry...it hurts inside. I...I've got to go...let me go."
Trunks tightened his grip around her unknowingly to prevent her from leaving.
" no...don't leave. Tell me what you mean...what I'm supposed to figure out. Damnit Pan! Just tell me Pa-"
She slapped him.
His hand moved to automatically touch his flaming red cheek. He loosened his grip on her almost immediately in shock.
Pan took several steps back.
" Fine. I'll give you what you want BAKA. I love you. I've loved you ever since I could remember! But you still treat me like a kid. Like I'm your sister. But I'm 17 now Trunks. 17...It's too painful now to watch you will all those girls. It...it hurts so bad inside. I can't stand it!"
Finishing her outburst, Pan turned and took off into the sky, leaving Trunks standing alone in the park, completely shocked.
*********
I love you. I've loved you ever since I could remember!...it hurts so bad inside.
Trunks stared into his drink. It had only been a couple of hourse since the party, since Pan's confession. Now his entire life was turned upside down. He was confused as hell and was damned angry at himself for not realising earlier. Unlike the other relationships he had with girls, he simply couldn't figure what to do about this.
Even Goten knows! Why can't you figure it out?
She had yelled at him, sounded so angry, so tired...so confused. Same as he. He could see it all so clearly now, all the clues which had been under his nose the whole time. The gestures...the comments...the touches.
Then he remembered. She'd slapped him.
His hand once again reached up to touch his red cheek. The reddish tinge hadn't gone away, and it wasn't just the alchohol. He tipped more of the velvety liquid down, burning his throat as the potent liquid slid into his system. His eyesight began to waver as his whole body begain to relax. He stuggled to stay upright on the bar stool as his limbs turned to jelly.
" Hey sugar...looking for a good time?"
He lifted his head slowly to see an attractive woman in extremely small pieces of leather covering her body. He grunted in response as the woman led him away from the smoke filled bar.
******
Tears fell like rain as Pan sat alone on a rock. She looked out at the ocean before her which churned endlessly. The magnificent view of the ocean did little to cheer her up. Her hysterical sobs and hiccups had slowed to sniffling, though the tears still fell.
Why couldn't he understand?
Pan clenched her fists as she crossed her legs, one over the other.
Don't be stupid. He'll never love you.
WHY?
Because you're too young. Too much of a tomboy.
BUT I CHANGED.
He'll never see you as a woman.
Pan's head hurt from the mental torment. She knew all the logical reasons why Trunks would never love her, but her heart refused to listen. She tried to wipe her tears away with the back of her hand. It did nothing to slow her tears.
You're leaving tomorrow anyway. Forget him, forget everything. Don't come back.
Pan let her resolve harden before she made a move to leave. Suddenly a hand held a piece of wet cloth over her nose and mouth. The cloth smelled strangely sweet and intoxicating as she feld her limbs slacken.
Whats happening to me?
Those were her last thoughts as she slipped out of consciousness.