I own nothing, that credit goes to Pendleton Ward and his staff.
Incident 013DF
"You know…This is your fault, right?" Finn grumbled as he looked down from the layers of bacon wrapped around his wrists holding him up along the wall taking a moment to glare down at his beloved hot as the sun girlfriend who had been unceremoniously sealed up in a hole in the ground. The room they were in, was the usual run of the mill dungeon usually found around the land of Oooo, four stone walls aging and crumbling here and there with the dank smell of wet mold somewhere between the cracks of the stone bricks, a decayed skeleton hanging against the wall, usually a new prisoner had a ten in one hundred chance that the skeleton was still able to talk and at this point in its long existence pretty comfortable with its lot in life or death if one would prefer. Only difference was the chains and manacles were made of different forms of cooked meat.
Flame Princess did not spare her boyfriend the same angered stare as she placed her hands on her curvy hips before throwing them up in exasperation. "They're talking weenie people; maybe being burnt is like going to a sauna or something for them. Besides that dumb guard had his spear pointed it at you, I was only protecting you." She replied, folding her arms across her chest. It was very lucky for these 'weenie people' though they much preferred the term Sausage Folk, that they had thought about putting in the underground cell the week before otherwise they would have been burnt to charcoaled crisps in trying to keep the Princess of Flame restrained.
"Yeah well, It's not like shouting 'I'm burning you alive, worm!' when the burning weenie guard screams out, asking what you're doing to him is going to help." The human riposted as he returned to chewing through his binds until he got to the last layer of bacon, he was planning on becoming a vegetarian after this. Perhaps it was not just the situation that had him aggravated, as much as he loved FP her tendency to be rather explosive in rage towards anyone who wasn't him, Jake, their friends or her father tended to get them in unsavory situations just as this one. It helped that the Flame Princess was able to power her way out of most sticky situations due to her natural abilities but at the same time it was a crux as that usually meant burning their way through folk that might just take offence to being toasted without their consent.
"I was just trying to help! You're no better than me rushing into battle wailing your war cries and slashing your sword around like a psycho, you might make a mistake one of these days and seriously get hurt. You're mortal Finn that makes it easier for you to die than anyone else on this crazy planet." She snapped before turning her back to Finn, folding her arms still, her short hair spitting up small flames as she looked down mumbling something to herself.
Finn tilted his head slightly in confusion before frowning a bit, he took a deep breath regretting it a bit as the horrible musty smell of the old dungeon filled his nostrils, granted it would be a smell he was used to due to how much time he spent poking around in such places but every now and again that aged stench managed to sting his olfactory in just the worst way. He ignored it however as he cleared his head and chewed through the rest of the bacon until he was free before hopping down from his previously restrained position and hurrying his way over to where Flame Princess was closed in, the large round iron door above her head made of a wrought iron circle with thick bars laid across it. Oddly enough resembling a charcoal grill surface, the fiery maiden still had her back turned to the young hero, soft licks of flame jumped from the ends of her shoulder length hair.
"Flame Princess, I'm sorry for getting angry with you a minute ago…You know I, well I really think you're amazing and stuff…Can we just move on and work on getting out of here together." He said to her apologizing and giving her a sheepish but hopeful smile as he looked down into the subterranean cell. It was a bit, an agonizingly long bit before she just slightly turned her head to cast upon the gaze of her amber eyes as she tilted her eyes towards him.
"…Finn, I shouldn't have burned that wienie but he had his spear pointed at us first and was jutting it at you like he had means to harm you." Flame Princess explained herself in a quiet voice of her slightly raspy tone. "And you're so soft and fleshy that anything from my own fire to a really jagged rock can tear at you, especially a spear. I mean probably just falling from a really high point and SPLAT! You'd be all over the ground, not to mention a giant boulder landing on your-"
"Okay! Okay, I get it FP. I get it…" Finn said interrupting her as he gestured his hands gently in a calming down motion. "You were worried about me, and you slightly overreacted and burnt a poor weenie man getting us locked up in here….And I appreciate you for that!" Finn added quickly as Flame Princess began to frown a bit. "Now we can make a little adventure of getting out of here, just let's try to limit these situations where we have to explain ourselves for burning a member of someone's town okay?" Finn said as nicely as he could. Flame Princess looked at him a bit, her amber eyes falling onto his bright blue gaze before nodding a bit.
"I can do that, sure." She nodded with a small smile, much to the relief of her bear hooded boyfriend.
"Okay, now to get you out of here." Finn remarked as he stood back up patting his hips blowing a raspberry as he looked around, in thought for a moment, his eyes scanning the cell he was in before looking back down at the grate below him where Flame Princess looked up at him expectantly. "Ahhh…There's a key hole here; looks like I'm gonna have to get you a key, FP." Finn said with a slight grin. Flame Princess' face falling did not fail to catch Finn's notice as he mentioned finding a key. "Hey, what's the problem FP?"
"Well it's just that…The last time we had to use keys we had to go about through twenty of them before we opened a chest and found a butt that winked at me." Flame Princess pointed out. "Mostly I don't want to have to try a bunch of keys before getting out of here….And that butt thing was kinda weird…"
"Aw c'mon, Gregory's a nice enough dude." Finn chuckled as he stood up before giving his girlfriend a reassuring smile. "Don't you worry, FP. I'm getting you out of here and I'll be getting the right key the first time." He assured her before heading to the cell door and looking through the bars. "Oh you gotta be kidding me." Finn remarked a bit as he grabbed one of the bars.
"What, what is it?" Flame Princess asked worriedly as she tried to peer up at anything through the bars as Finn seemed to be tugging on one of the bars.
"Looks like a few of the bars on this door are made of…Beef jerky." Finn replied as he pulled the bar of dried me at out of place tearing out most of the section that replaced aged bars that had worn down. "I'll be back as soon as possible." Finn whispered to Flame Princess as he made his way out of the bars and snuck down the corridor of other cells, the moist surface of aged stone squishing gently beneath his black sneakers as he made his way to the guard station stopping just at the corner and listening in as he heard two guards talking gibberish about something involving a ball of meat and kicking it around. He decided not to think too hard about where they got the meat from. Peeking just enough over the edge he could spot his sword and backpack hanging from some hooks on the wall, from one of the guard's belts he could spot a rung of keys as well silently crouching back behind the wall he considered his options.
Wait for the guards to leave, grab his gear and used the sword to threaten one of them for the key so he and Flame Princess could escape. Try to sneak in while the two were distracted, take the key and rush back to free Flame Princess then come back for the gear. Or grab his gear and use his phone to contact Jake so he could come by and morph his hand into a key so that Flame Princess could be freed. Just as he was mulling these choices over there was a rather loud commotion outside of people screaming, he peeked back towards the guards who had taken notice of the noise. "Mayor Skar must be here…" One of the guards said apprehensively as he reached for his spear and rushed out with the other.
"Now's my chance to get my sword back at least." Finn mumbled to himself as he moved to get up before he heard someone behind him.
"Right, now we can get out of this crazy place." Finn stopped screaming a bit as he turned around in surprised to see Flame Princess standing there.
"How'd you get out of there?" He asked with a raised brow, as he looked up at his cute girlfriend, her burning bangs falling in her face a bit as she stood there with her shorter dress on that allowed her to be more mobile when adventuring.
She simply smirked raising her hands up as balls of flame danced around each. "'Flame Princess' remember? I just melted my out through the bars." She explained with a light smile, though she could still see a perplex look on the last human's face. "I didn't want to risk heating up the room too much and cooking you in there…There's a lot of burnt meat in there, doesn't exactly smell good about two feet from here." She remarked with a slightly embarrassed smile. "…Plus, it takes quite a bit of heat through melt through metal like that, it took a bit to melt through each one. I'm a little drained."
Finn nodded as he moved to get up, before looking over his shoulder as he ran to the station and grabbed his sword and backpack. "You're going to be okay, right?"
"Of course, as long as they don't figure out they could have poured water down there and doused my flame I'm going to be just fine." She replied with a slight but reassuring smile. "And I think we can sneak out of here now that, that dragon is attacking the village….Wait! Finn, can we burn the dragon, that's a good thing to do right?"
Finn nodded with a broad smile as he shouldered his gear and slid his sword back in place. "Yep, even if these wieners did lock us up in here we can't just let them be turned into barbecue by a giant dragon." Finn stated as he walked out of the dungeon with Flame Princess who had a rather disgusted look on her face as she spotted the dragon.
"I don't think that's going to be a problem…" She remarked as she pointed to the large hot dog like beast, it was basically a fat beast with short horns on its oblong shaped head, eyes far apart on its head with a large teeth filled maw similar into how a shark had many rows of jutting saw like teeth in its mouth. Four stubby claws on either side of its body and a pair of large flapping wings, however it did not breathe fire it spewed broth from its mouth…The kind of foul tasting lukewarm water that was the remainder of boiled hotdogs. It seemed he was using it to stun and cause the Sausage Folk to slip on the floor so he could gobble them up. "This village is so disturbing…Let's just save these…people and get out of here." She remarked as she placed her fists on either side of her body flames erupting for them as her eyes narrowed changing from their usual amber hue to a complete ruby red glare before rising off the ground as flames erupted from where her legs should be and shot forward towards the 'dragon'.
Finn pulled the dark red sword of his father's and ran forward towards the dragon as well; Flame Princess's words had not been forgotten. He reminded himself not to make as much of an entrance as he was known for as he tried to pick the best way to attack as Flame Princess tackled the beast. It fell to its side though it was not down, it got back up only having a black layer of burnt flesh along its side now and tuned on the two roaring before spewing its nasty broth at them. Finn rolled out of the way and his beloved shot upward before skimming across the sky leaving a brief tail of fire behind her before landing to the dragon's blind side and charging up her fire for a powerful attack, it shouldn't have taken her long but she underestimated the hotdog dragon's awareness and surprising speed. She looked up and gasped as it turned towards her, she was expecting it to try and eat her so she hopped back instead it spewed its broth at her dousing her heavily as she sputtered in disgust and was forced to the ground as it felt like being hit by an incoming ocean wave. She hit the ground on her back, her fire completely soaked to just small bits of smoke danced in the air as they raised from her body her dull maroon color replacing the usually brilliant blaze of oranges and reds.
"Flame Princess!" Finn shouted in shock before he turned to the dragon that was lurching towards her on its stubby legs. "Hey you butthead, get over here and fight me like a man!" He taunted the beast which seemed to ignore him as it opened its gaping maw forcing Finn to run at it with his sword drawn wildly above his head.
"Hey aren't those the two kids we had locked up for burning Jerry?" One of the Sausage Folk asked his nearby comrade as they stood around watching the scene unfold. Not exactly sure what to do being afraid of the three invaders to their village.
"Hmm…" The other weenie remarked patting his chin in thought. "Hmm…Hmmm! Hey yeah, you're right the really angry chick and the spastic kid. Maybe Mayor Skar and those two will kill each other, our problems will be solved!" Both guards nodded smiling in satisfaction with this plan as they folded their arms.
Finn ran under the beast drawing his sword across the beast's belly causing its innards to spill out which were of course…Links of sausage. I howled in pain as an entire midsection of its belly was torn open, Finn hopped out on the other side sword drawn in one hand now as he glared at the creature turning to face him. "I dare thou to charge me, you milk livered maggot pie!" Finn shouted at the creature as he stood defiant of it. Mayor Skar roared and charged towards the young hero, Finn jumped to stab it in the head with his sword but the creature was smarter than it looked as it raised its neck to head butt Finn and send him flying a bit his sword landing on the other side of the dragon.
Finn grunted a bit in pain as he stood back up holding stomach a bit before remembering where he was as he stood back up. "I'm not done with you, yet." He growled as he turned to where Flame Princess was still laying motionless. She seemed unconscious at least he hoped that was the case, Finn dove away as he realized the creature was spitting up at him again and tried to run for his sword but the beast whacked him away with its wing sending him flying again and crashing into a tree. "Whatever…" Finn grimaced as he held his shoulder upon standing back up.
"Should we help?" The guard asked his friend with a worried look on his face.
"Naaaaaah, they'll work this all out I'm sure." His friend replied with a dismissive wave of his hand.
Flame Princess slowly sat up though her color was still rather dull and lacking its fierce shade, as she got up looking around the area as she tried to search for Finn. "Finn? Finn, are you okay?" She asked trying to spot him as she spoke a bit weakly. Mayor Skar turned back to his previous prey before darting for her though it was noticeably weaker as its entrails continued to spill out with each of its movements. Finn realized he would have just enough time to grab his sword and hopefully slay the beast before it ended up eating Flame Princess.
He took off on a mad dash for his sword, grabbing the demon blood made blade and turning back towards the scene as Flame Princess back up slowly away from the dragon. "Get away from me you freak!" She snapped at it as she began to try and crawl away faster, Finn panted as he tried to hurry faster, his body screamed at him in pain internally from being cast off into the tree earlier.
"Flame Princess!" He shouted realizing he wasn't going to make it in time, as she turned towards him she saw the blade flying towards her before landing just close enough to grab. She reached for the hilt pulling the sword from the ground as she yanked it out just in time she lurched under the creature as it lunged towards her, pushing the sword up and spearing it in the throat all the way to the hilt. It seemed stuck in the beast but not necessarily killing it as it tried to move its jaws close enough to bite at her. Growing angry and frustrated with this disturbing creature she growled and shoved the sword deeper as blood seeped out from the beast and her fire returned with a vengeance as heat seared against the dragons lower jaw, standing up as she held the blade before tearing it out leaving the stunned creature with a gaping wound in its neck and chin.
"Foul urchin! You dare try to devour the Princess of Flame!" She snarled as the fiery maiden stood with the sword in hand she darted upward above the beast before raising the sword above her head and slamming it down through the creature's head leaving it sliced open as she plummeted back towards the earth . Landing on one knee as her foe flopped onto its side, its split skull flapping open as Flame Princess panted a bit before standing up as Finn walked over towards her accepting his sword back from here. "Thank you, Finn…" She sighed leaning against him just long enough before causing harm to Finn from her flames.
"That was awesome, FP! But are you going to be okay…?" He asked concerned as he held her for the longest bit he could before having to back away, hiding the expression of physical pain on his face.
"I'll be fine, if I could actually bathe I would really like to right now." She joked, making a 'blegh' face from being spewed upon earlier by the 'dragon'. Finn chuckled at her joke pulling out the gauntlet he had recovered from the vault of bones and sliding it on his hand to wrap it around FP's hand as they walked back to the gathering of weenie people.
"So…Does this make up for the earlier incident?" Finn asked with a hopeful smile as they walked back towards the Sausage Folk with Flame Princess, she forced a smile; she was still weirded out by the odd villagers and still didn't exactly trust them after their rather cynical treatment towards her boyfriend Finn. Were it not for him however she probably would have roasted about half of them by now.
"Yeah man, you're all good. Just don't come here again, either of you." The seemingly relaxed guard replied though his last words were said rather firmly as he furrowed his brow for a brief moment.
"Gotcha, no problem." Finn replied with a slightly nervous chuckle before turning with Flame Princess and heading away from the village back along the hilly slopes, the two just happy to get back to the tree house as soon as they could. They were quiet for some time as they walked through the grassy plains as Finn looked over at Flame Princess. He remembered the concerns she had expressed in the dungeon, about his mortality, he had noticed this ever since they had been play boxing in the tree house. Finn had not been careful where he was moving and fell out of one of the windows; near the ground he got a pretty bad scrape on his knee though. It was nothing new to him but he was pretty sure it was the first time Flame Princess had seen so much blood from anything. Ever since when they'd adventure out together she seemed apprehensive about watching Finn rush into fights, he usually won his encounters in combat but still she was now a bit more aware of how easily harmed Finn could truly be. It didn't help his girlfriend was prone to violent mood swings and quick to anger, couple that with a brand new anxiety about the only person she really loves being harmed gravely and well you got quite a bad day for anyone trying to give Finn trouble.
"You know you don't have to worry about me too much right?" Finn asked as he looked down at her.
"That's a bit hard to do when I can't even touch you without causing your skin to turn red or possibly boil and melt." Flame Princess replied with slightly narrowed eyes. "At the very least, what I can do is protect you with my flame. I apologize if that means at times I will be hasty in burning down those that mean you harm right away, but I'm learning still and I just ask that you be patient with me and allow me the time to learn how to control myself and learn to love you the way you deserve to be, oh Hero of Ooooo." She stated gently but firmly as Finn grew a slight tint to his cheeks.
"Flame Princess…I hope you understand that I won't stop whooping evil butt no matter what." He replied as he squeezed her hand gently with his gauntlet protected hand as both paused on the path they were following.
"Of course and I understand that, after all it's who you are, protecting and risking yourself for people who may not even care a thing about you. " She nodded as she began walking ahead of Finn, her hands folded neatly at her waist. Finn frowned, he was missing something here he felt before following after her until they were side by side again, the burning home that belonged to Flame Princess in the distance. At least she kept at a gentle pace instead of dashing away from him with the use of her fiery energy.
"You know I was really worried about you when that lame dragon soaked you, FP?" Finn offered trying to show his concern for her, hoping it would change the subject and make up for seeming to be careless about her feelings.
"Well I'm quite fine I assure you." She replied simply, still seeming a bit flippant now as she kept her gaze from the young hero. Finn opened his mouth to say something when he paused and turned to the eastern horizon in the distance. He saw Jake in one of his giant forms, a large golden brown ball with long stilt legs as he made his way towards both Flame Princess and Finn swiftly.
"Finn! Finn, it's totally messed up, brother! Zombies, skeletons, and revenants!" Jake proclaimed as he ran up to the two.
"Oh my!" Flame Princess remarked as they looked up at the giant dog.
Jake nodded in agreement. "They're all headed for Candy Kingdom and these aren't the brainless kind looking for free food, they're carrying weapons and they look like they mean business. "
"Let's get going then!" Finn remarked as he hopped up onto Finn's back to move more quickly, Flame Princess burst into flames a bit as she got ready to take off with them towards the current threat. The three headed right for the Candy Kingdom in the distance as night cast its dark haze over the sky forcing the setting sun down past the frosty mountains in the distance.
AN: So! Looks like I'm crazy enough to try writing another fanfic. Don't ask me why, sometimes it just gets at you and you want to try, so I'm trying. Please if you read this story's first chapter, give it a review, did you like it? What did you like about it? Or did you hate it, what did you hate about it? What can be improved on?
Also, I realize that the whole lunch meat people thing was kinda weird but eh, I thought it was the right kinda weird for Adventure Time. And in case no one got the reference I was going for the dragon's name, 'Mayor Skar' is a reference to the lunch meat making company known as Oscar Meyers. Just thought I should throw that out there.