Tell Me Something Good

Hey what you got you don't know
Anything that I'm gonna say right now
Cuz I'm not so sure why I'm here and why I wanna
Keep on hanging 'round right now
Not that I do it now or any day
Sometimes I just get burned out
About lots of things and well just doubt

So tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Cuz I'm confused and do I break into two
So tell me how about you

Hey what you got something bad and I want it
Even though I know it's wrong
But I won't be blessed cuz I know this so I can't have that
So like good job I gotta be strong
Man I don't wanna be able to breathe
Be able to see what's become
of the wars of this world
and the wars from my tongue

So tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Cuz I'm confused and I bruise yes I do so tell me how about you
So please just tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Come on baby and race me and maybe we'll just find ourselves

I wanna be I wanna be like that mountain
I wanna stand taller and bigger than rest
See I just wanna be it a guy who wins all the time
I wanna be a big star a king and rule my own life
And God I know that it's wrong
So please just make my heart right
Inside and destroy my pride
So you can tell me something good you got it and
Why I am so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Cuz I'm confused and I bruise yes I do so tell how about you
So please just tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Come on baby and race me and maybe we'll just find ourselves

"Newbie! Where have you been?!? I've been looking all over for you! I paged you thirty minutes ago Pricilla! What, did you break a nail? Or is your favorite actor getting married and crushing your dreams Nancy? When I page, you RUN, Got it Louise?" Dr. Cox asked J.D. as he burst into the on call room.

"What? Oh… it's you. Waddya want now, Dr. Cox? I'm not in the mood to listen to you insult me and call me girl names, so save it for later, okay?" J.D. sighed. He sat up, wiping his eyes, red and swollen from crying.

"What's wrong Newbie?" Dr. Cox asked. He hadn't seen J.D. like this since his dad died. "Are you and Barbie calling it quits again?" He didn't mean to sound so condescending and bitter, it was just who he was. But it pushed J.D. passed his breaking point. He jumped up, tears now streaming down his face which was contorted in rage.

"God DAMN it! I can't believe you! You don't have feelings other than anger, I get that, I don't try to force you to feel anything. But GOD FORBID that I might feel something other than happiness and glee! DAMN YOU! Turk, he tries to understand and Carla, and the baby, and The Todd, he keeps on being perverted, and the Janitor won't let up, and Elliot, she just pretends nothings wrong, and He… he… h-he's-s… NOOOOOOOO!!!!" J.D. sank to his knees, tears streaming down his face. He curled up in the fetal position

What the Hell? Perry stared. Was this broken down puddle really his great-haired-no-worries-daydreaming- protégé? The kid hadn't even been this bad when his dad died. Perry sighed, running a hand through his light brown curls, wondering what to do as Newbie sobbed uncontrollably on the ground.

J.D felt strong arms come around his shaking form. His head shot up, amazed. Dr. Cox was hugging him… not quite how he'd all ways imagined it, but hey… he buried his head in the broad shoulder of his mentor… sobs still wracking his body.

"What's a matter, J.D.? What happened?"

J.D. Dr. Cox, his mentor, the man who had never shown him anything but disdain or anger, calling him Newbie, or girl names, had called him by his name. It was a surreal moment for JD. Now, if only he could tell Dr. Cox what was wrong.

"I-I …"

"C'mon, J.D. spit it out."

J.D. swallowed audibly.

"I can't tell you…" He cried harder… ashamed of what he did.
Dr. Cox Sighed. "You can come to me for anything important, Newbie, remember?"

"I-I … he's dead… and the last thing I said to him was that I hated him and that I hoped he died! Oh, My, GOD! I KILLED HIM!!" J.D. dissolved into tears again.

"Who? Newbie, who is it?" His brows furrowed. PLEASE don't let this be a lover's quarrel! Oh, Christ, that was something he so-hoooo couldn't deal with. How would J.D… NEWBIE, cope? He was so sensitive, took everything to heart… just another one of the many things Perry secretly loved about the boy.

"My brother… he died… car crash… in a ditch… bled to death, m-most likely conscious on impact… he… he … c-could-dn't-t get out of the ditch… and the last thing I said was I hoped he died…"

"J.D. he knows you didn't mean it… he knows you loved him… that you were mad…" J.D. just cried. Perry sighed. "God, J.D…" he pressed a kiss to the younger man's temple, making soothing noises in the kid's ear, cradling him as he cradled Jack when the baby was crying. As JD began to settle down, Perry slipped away from the boy, sitting cross-legged in front of him.

"Dr… Dr. Cox?" Perry looked into the boy's fathomless blue eyes, still swimming in tears, the trails of sorrow streaking his gorgeous face.

"Will you hold me?" The boy cringed away; obviously afraid he'd get hit.

"Sure thing J.D. It'll be okay… I won't leave you…"

He sniffed. "I- Turk couldn't save him… he was DOA… but… I … I saw him… he looked so sad… and oh god, your scrubs are all wet! I'm so sorry Dr. Cox!" J.D. scrambled up, a new wave of tears threatening to tumble down his face.

Perry sighed.

"Newbie, get your butt back down here…" He opened his arms, inviting J.D. to hide his head in his shoulder as long as necessary." JD immediately crawled back over to Dr Cox, burying his head in his shoulder once again, inhaling the smell of Dr. Cox's soap.

"Just remember Newbie, every one's living on borrowed time… you have to tell them how you feel while you still can…" He kissed the top of J.D.'s head, hating himself for being so hypocritical. He wished he could follow his own advice.

"Really? You think I should tell everyone EXACTLY how I feel… even if they won't like it?" J.D. asked, looking all the world like a tired five year old… moments from sleep.

"Yeah…y-you should." His voice hitched. Hold yourself together, Perry.

"Dr. Cox? Can I tell YOU how I feel?" J.D. asked, sleepily, resting his head on Perry's shoulder, wrapping his legs around Dr. Cox's waist as Perry carried him over to one of the cots.

"Sure thing, Newbie. Tell me what a hard ass I am as often as you want." He said… heart sinking in resignation… here goes.

"I- I love you, Dr. Cox, a lot more than I think I should…" J.D whispered. He worried his bottom lip. "Is that okay?" He looked so scarred.

"It's more than okay, Newbie… It's... perfect." Perry said, kissing his J.D. on his full, wet lips, smiling as J.D moaned softly.

Perry lay next to J.D and snuggled against him, pulling a blanket up over the two of them.

"Love… you… Dr. Cox…"

"Love you too, J.D. Now, sleep." He said, kissing the young man's cheek, before burying his head in J.D.'s hair. And if anyone had walked in, they would have seen a tear of joy begin a slow trek down Perry's face.