Hatori sat in his chair quietly gazing out at the garden his face blank. The snow was melting as spring began to show itself. Around this time of year his memories of Kana faded and seemed to disappear like the snow.
She had been his angel; his light in the darkness of the Sohma clan, the only form of joy he had in this cursed life. And Akito...the almighty god of the Zodiac had torn that from him.
He lit a cigarette quietly his green eyes still and yet complex; full of all the emotions he harboured inside but never spoke of. He breathed in slowly as smoke surrounded the room quietly.
After Kana; Hatori had never been the same. His heart was forever broken but he sealed his heart away along with her memories. He had become more cynical, stoic and kept to himself; however it didn't stop him caring for those close to him.
"Still smoking I see" a familiar voice said from the doorway. He knew who it was based on instinct; he was around him so often he sometimes could tell who it was before he even spoke.
Hatori turned in his chair to see Shigure; while he frowned upon his cousin's immature behaviour he appreciated his friendship. Only Shigure could truly understand the bitterness that lay dormant within him.
Hatori breathed in slowly and puffed out grey smoke; he hated the taste but the smell was soothing. He wasn't a frequent smoker but did now and again when the mood seemed right; it was more atmospherical than anything.
"What brings you here Shigure?" Hatori asked suspiciously. As far as he was concerned Akito hadn't called for him; nor had he called him for a talk. So his need to show up was unknown to him.
Shigure smiled fondly "I came to check up on you; I know that around this time you always seem at your saddest".
Over time Shigure can come to notice that when the snow fell or spring came; Hatori was at his saddest. It was because during this time his relationship with Kanna had come to a stop and he had been forced to lose her.
It broke his heart to see him like this; Hatori never deserved any of the pain he endured. He was a kind and gentle person who simply wished to be happy. He longed for a normal life but was unable to receive it.
Hatori sighed heavily and placed his cigarette over the dish quietly; despite his efforts to hide it Shigure could always read him so well. Even in middle school did the dog know his true feelings despite his best efforts to hide them.
"Thought you would catch me crying did you?" Hatori mocked sharply. He wanted to cry many times but since that day he was unable to.
It sometimes angered him how well Shigure was capable of reading him. Even if he lied about it he always knew somehow. He was the one person he wasn't capable of keeping secrets from next to Ayame.
Shigure laughed at the sarcasm; part of him believed he would but then again he never did. Somehow he wished Hatori would cry; but only for him. "I suppose a small part of me believed I would" he chuckled.
Hatori leaned back in his chair quietly staring at the ceiling; his eyes blank and emotionless "I think I lost that ability long ago" he said quietly.
Shigure stared at him quietly surprised by that answer; it seemed rather impossible for Hatori not to cry. He had always believed he had but in private when others were not around or sleeping.
All the zodiac members cried; maybe not all in front of others but still cried. Hell one rare occasion he had caught Kyo crying which took a lot. So how could Hatori not have that right too?
"Hari..." he said softly using the nickname he only used when they were alone.
"...I think I lost my tears when I lost her" he said bitterly his voice cracking slightly. While he was tempted to lose his cool and allow himself to shout; no tears came even now.
Shigure entered the room and closed the sliding door behind him; he then approached his cousin slowly taking him in.
His cousin was a truly beautiful young man; his long black bangs, his haunting green eyes, his toned body, his long legs and his solemn voice. For the longest time he had been harbouring unspoken feelings for him.
He felt that his love for Hatori was unrequited; while he himself was openly Bi he had no clue of Hatori's interests. The only people he had come close showing interest in was Tohru, Ayame and Mayuko; however for the longest time he had been harbouring love for Hatori.
He stood before Hatori quietly looming over him; he did not do so menacingly but simply dramatically. He had no desire to scare or threaten Hatori; simply to remind him he was not leaving.
"Shigure...am I capable of giving my heart to anyone? It seems no matter whom it is they only end up hurt" Hatori asked apprehensively.
Not just Kana but his own family members seemed to be hurt because of him. No matter who he reached out to they all got hurt.
Shigure felt a wave of sadness wash over him; Hatori deserved all the love in the world. He was better off being free and away from this place; sadly he was caged like the rest of them.
"I don't think it's a matter of trust Hari; It's a matter of allowing yourself to show the side of yourself you hide" he stated thoughtfully.
Hatori's eyes became cold and angry; the last time he had done that they had been taken away from him. They had been gotten rid of so he would be trapped; alone, unwanted and miserable.
He was still loyal to Akito even after what had happened; but only because he had no other choice. Part of him; the darker side wanted to ring her neck and end it all so he could be free.
But instead he continued to obey; he followed her orders and continued being obedient. He never spoke, never acted out and simply remained silent.
"Who could possibly love someone as cold and heartless as me?" Hatori hissed angrily. After all the orders he had carried out; all the people he had shut out. Who would love someone like him?
Shigure placed his hands either side of Hatori's chair quietly; his brown eyes intense and filled with desire. A small smirk spread across his lips "Someone like me" he teased gently.
Slowly Shigure leaned closer to the dragon and locked lips with him passionately. His lips were cold but sweet; they tasted like syrup and had the temperature of shaved ice.
He closed his eyes and leaned harder into the kiss; his cousin meant so much to him and he hated seeing him suffer. Even if Akito didn't approve he would continue to act as a shield protecting his cousin's heart.
Hatori moaned into the kiss quietly; he hadn't felt such affections in such a long time. It was bittersweet but so addictive. He wanted more, he needed more, he craved more.
Shigure pulled away slowly his eyes hungry and burning with desire; he wanted to make Hatori forget his pain. Even if it was a temporary cure he wanted to let the Dragon know his feelings and that he was always on his side.
"Shi...gure" Hatori panted quietly his cheeks slightly flushed. It wasn't too heavy but he had been caught off guard.
"I love you Hari; I always will..." he said slowly allowing one hand to stroke his cousin's bangs gently. They were silky and gentle; like feathers tingling his skin.
"Shigure..." Hatori repeated gently. He was grateful to have him in his life; without him and Ayame he would have fallen apart years ago.
Shigure locked eyes with his cousin solemnly his gaze longing yet gentle "Hmm?" he teased fondly.
"...help me forget" he said quietly his tone begging slightly. He needed to be free of the sadness within him; after this his heart was close up and he would never think of it till the next time it surfaced.
However until then he needed comfort, he needed love, he needed solstice from the agony within him. He needed Shigure to help him find peace within himself until it subsided once more.
Shigure smirked fondly "As you wish Hari-chan" he said gently leaning in for another kiss.