Anime Fan18.0 is PROUD to present… another comedy fic for FF.N…
BAD SUSHI
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Author's Note: YAY! My third story, I'm on a role! I'm having a little trouble with my other story (The Shadow Saga subject to name change VERY soon!) so I thought I'd do another humor one in the meantime. You won't be disappointed:D
Disclaimer: If I owned DBZ, would I be doing fan writing? No, I think not. Nonetheless,…I DONOTown Dragon BallZ, or its characters, or any thing DBZ related other than any original characters/plot I come up with. I also do not own Pokemon, so you can't sue for that either! So, if your a lawyer looking to sue somebody who SAID this isn't there material...YOU CAN NOT SUE ME!!!
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"This is ridiculous," Vegeta commented. It was Vegeta and Bulma's anniversary tonight, and Bulma was making Vegeta wear a tuxedo. Vegeta wasn't happy about this, not one bit. "Making I, the prince of all Sayains, were this stupid-wait no, scratch that-this unbelievably pointless piece of clothing these earthlings call 'good looking'! UGH!"
"Vegeta, are you done griping yet?" Bulma called from down stairs. "You've had twenty minutes to get dressed! Hurry up!"
'Sometimes I wonder why I don't just blow that annoying, loud mouthed woman!' thought Vegeta. "I'll be right down
" Vegeta shouted, and then added under his breath, "as soon as I can get this stupid tie on!" When he finished getting his tie on, he came down stairs were he saw Bulma in a lovely dark blue dress.
"What do you think?" Bulma asked, turning so Vegeta could see her front and back. "Pretty nice, huh?"
"Whatever…" Vegeta replied, not caring. This only slightly dampened Bulma's mood. "Can we get this over with?"
"Fine, mister sour puss," Bulma commented. "Let's go already; they probably gave out seats away by now!"
'I can only hope…' Vegeta thought. They were going to a Sushi restaurant called "Yu's Gourmet Sushi". It was supposed to be the best Sushi restaurant in town, so that's where Bulma, not Vegeta, choose to eat.
"Come on slowpoke!" Bulma teased. "Let's get going; every moment we waste is just another penny Trunks' babysitter gets!"
"Like it matters, were rich," Vegeta mumbled. He reluctantly followed Bulma out the door and into the hover car. They took off immediately, not wasting a moment more.
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"Ugh…" Vegeta groaned. Five hours after they first left, Vegeta and Bulma returned, not happy. They had received horrible service, and Vegeta thought-no KNEW that that stupid little waiter that had served them had brought him some old Sushi. "The little idiot…him giving me that bad Sushi-oh! I ought ta-" his stomach stopped him mid-sentence threatening to empty itself.
He heard Bulma stomp off to her bedroom. The reason he had been probably given bad Sushi was that he told the nosey waiter to stop staring at Bulma so 'thoroughly'. After Vegeta got sick, she saw the manager and made sure he fired the waiter. Vegeta crawled towards his couch and fell down.
"Ugh…I can't believe I, a Sayain, have gotten sick from a little fish!" Vegeta scorned. He slowly slipped off to sleep.
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Later, Vegeta woke up to find someone starring at him.
"Unnnnnnnh…" Vegeta groaned, a little nauseous from the Sushi. He expected to see Bulma, but instead he saw…Kakarot? "WHAT THE?!" Vegeta shouted as he immediately shot up from the couch.
"Hi Vegeta!" Goku called happily. For some reason he was wearing an apron, and Vegeta could only stare in bewilderment. "You've been sleeping for awhile.
"Kakarot…just what are you doing in my house?" Vegeta asked, anger slowly creeping its way into his mood.
"Why, taking care of you while your sick Veggie-poo!" replied Goku.
"SAY WHAT!? WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" Vegeta shouted.
"Veggie-poo, your favorite nickname, remember?" answered Goku.
Vegeta's eyes twitched. "Okay Kakarot, you have about ten seconds to get out of here before I blow you up!"
Goku blinked. "Huh? Why?"
Vegeta started to turn red. "Because," Vegeta "tried" to say calmly, "you are annoying the crud out of me. And I am trying VERY hard to keep from killing you…" Vegeta's eyes kept twitching with annoyance.
"Well, that's no way to talk to your room mate is it?" asked Goku.
"…" Vegeta put his gloved finger inside his ear and cleaned it. "I'm sorry, I must have misheard you! WHAT did you say?"
"Your room mate! Remember? Bulma died, Chi-chi left me, sooooooo…we became room mates!"
Vegeta's face paled. "…Oooooookaaaaay! Its official, I've lost my mind!"
"Pika chu!" Pikachu cried as he ran in.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE (CENSORED) IS THAT DOING HERE!?!?" Vegeta cried shocked.
"Oh, Pikachu? We adopted him when we found him in an alley," Goku explained. Vegeta could only stare in horror and confusion at the little electric mouse. Then Pikachu came up to Vegeta, got on the arm of his couch, and jumped on his crotch.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!! WHY YOU LITTLE (CENSORED) PIECE OF (CENSORED) I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR (CENSORED) INTO (CENSORED) (CENSORED)!!!"
"What is your problem today Vegeta?" asked some old man in a tuxedo that seemed to appear out of nowhere.
"Okay…just who the heck is he?" Vegeta asked pointing to the strange old man.
"Oh him?" Goku asked. "That's Smitty McSmitty Smith, your anger management counselor.
A vein appeared above Vegeta's head. "I DO NOT NEED AN ANGER MANAGEMENT COUNSELER!"
"Oh but you do," Smitty said. "At the very least, a counselor to talk about your…err, dressing issues."
Vegeta cocked his eyebrow. "What do you mean by-" he began to say as he stood up, but then he realized he was wearing a ballerina dress. "WHAT THE LIVING (CENSORED) IS THIS!?"
"Your favorite clothing," Goku said. "You wear it all the time!" Suddenly, a random giant fish floated into the room.
"Monkey butt," the fish said.
Vegeta could only stare in sheer annoyance. "Okay…calm down Vegeta…this is a dream, okay! Kakarot is not in your house wearing an apron, you are not wearing a Tutu, and there is NOT a psychologist and floating giant fish talking to you… Yeah… Hehe, next thing I know, I'll be wearing only my underpants in front of Chi-chi and Bulma."
Suddenly, everything vanished and Vegeta was wearing only his boxers in front of Chi-chi and Bulma.
"………" Bulma and Chi-chi could only stare.
"WHAT THE (CENSORED)!!! Wait, why is it I say something like (CENSORED) I instead say 'censored'?"
"HOW DARE YOU!" Chi-chi yelled at Vegeta. Then she took out her frying pan and whacked Vegeta upside the head.
"YEOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!" Vegeta cried, a big lump appearing on top of his head. Then Goku walked in wearing a bath towel.
"Hey guys!" Goku called cheerfully. Then, he turned around and started to walk off…when his bath towel came off.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY EYES, MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!!!" Vegeta cried in agony. "TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE!!!"
POOF!
Vegeta was now in a dark room with no lights, furniture, etc.
"…hello…um, is anyone here?" Vegeta asked.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
"WHAT THE…?" Suddenly the ground was shaking and Vegeta looked up to see…Goku, only as a 70ft. giant!
"HI VEGETA!!!" boomed Goku's voice. Vegeta had to cover his ears to keep his eardrums from exploding. "HOW ARE YOU DOING?"
"OUCH! SHUT UP KAKAROT!" Vegeta shouted. But to Goku it only sounded like some high-pitched squeaking.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Goku boomed again. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU, YOU SOUND LIKE A MOUSE!"
"Oh no…don't tell me I'm about to become…" sure enough, right after Goku said that, Vegeta became a mouse. "Grrrrrrrrr…WHO'S DOING THIS!?" Vegeta shouted in a high-pitched mouse voice. Suddenly, Goku disappeared, Vegeta turned back to normal (No tutus or mouse fur), and a strange fish appeared in front of him. It was the same fish from earlier.
"I am," the fish answered.
"Okay, why?" Vegeta demanded.
"Because Vegeta…I AM BAD SUSHI! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Vegeta stared blankly at the floating, talking fish. "…remember, the sushi restaurant?"
"Oh…wait, so this is all a dream, right?" Vegeta asked.
"No, it's not a dream…IT'S A NIGHTMARE!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Vegeta sweat-dropped.
"……"
"You see, whenever someone eats me, it is my job to make them feel sick and give them a bad dream. Therefore, when you ate me…I just came right on in. It's that simple!"
"Sooooo, let me get this straight," began Vegeta," as long as you are here, my nightmare continues?" The fish nodded its head. "Okay then…DIE!" Vegeta fired an energy blast at the fish…but it passed right through!
"Silly Sayain, you can't hurt BAD SUSHI! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Then the fish disappeared. All Vegeta could do was stand there and wait for something else to happen.
"Ah great…what now!?" suddenly, Vegeta appeared inside a circus ring wearing a clown suit. "Had to ask…"
"WELCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, TO CIRCUS GOKU!" Goku shouted, wearing a ringmaster's outfit. "NOW, SIT BACK AND RELAX AS WE WATCH THE AMAZING DUMBO PEFORM A SERIES OF HILARIOUS ANTICS!" Then, Vegeta was bathed in light from the spotlight above, and the crowd waited in anticipation.
"Surely Kakarot wasn't referring to me…" Vegeta muttered.
"Pssssst, Dumbo, that's your cue," Goku hissed to Vegeta. Veins floated above Vegeta's head. Goku turned back to the audience and said, "WELL, I GUESS DUMBO IS IN NEED OF A LITTLE ENCOURAGEEMENT! LET'S BRING OUT THE LAUGH SQUAD!"
"The what squad?" Vegeta asked. Then a bunch of little Goku's came running out onto the stage in differing clown outfits. "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me…" Vegeta cried as he slapped his head. They circled him and pulled out pies, which they immediately threw at Vegeta's head.
SPLAT!
The audience roared with laughter, while Vegeta's face grew a bright red.
"Would you stop-SPLAT!" Vegeta was hit again.
"Stop-"
SPLAT!
"This-"
SPLAT!
"NONSENSE-"
SPLAT!
"RIGHT-"
SPLAT!
"GRRRRRRRRRR, ENOUGH!!!" Vegeta unleashed a blast of Ki energy that threw back the little Goku clones. "-pant pant pant pant-okay Bad Sushi, I've had enough! Its MY dream! GOT IT!? YOU HAVE OFFICALLY WORN OUT YOUR WELCOME! GETOUT" Everything disappeared and Bad Sushi appeared in front of Vegeta. Vegeta was put back into his normal clothing. Vegeta was red hot mad!
"Ahhhh, come on Vegeta, I was having soooo much fun!" Bad Sushi wined.
"I DON'T CARE!" Vegeta snapped. "AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, YOUR JUST A STUPID PIECE OF (CENSORED)-HEY STOP MAKING ME SAY 'CENSORED' WHEN I SAY STUFF LIKE (CENSORED)-wha, STOP THAT!!!"
"This is better than Comedy Central," commented Bad Sushi, grinning.
"ARAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! THAT'S IT!!!" Vegeta stuck his hands out and charged up some energy. "FINAL FLASH!!!" Vegeta fired his finishing move, but…it went through him again!
"Tsk tsk, didn't I tell you, YOU CAN'T HURT ME!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Bad Sushi taunted.
Vegeta watched Bad Sushi laugh and tease him, getting angrier and angrier…until he had an idea! Vegeta took a deep breath…sat down, crossed his legs…and closed his eyes.
It didn't take long before Bad Sushi could tell he was being ignored. "Hey, what are you doing?" Vegeta said nothing. "SPEAK, I COMMAND YOU!!! HEY! I HATE BEING IGNORED! DARN YOU, RESPOND TO ME!"
Bad Sushi turned Vegeta into a mouse, but he didn't say anything.
"Grrrrrrrr…" then a fly. "GRRRRRRRRRR…!" He turned Vegeta back to normal and surrounded him with a thousand Goku clones. Nothing… "GAAAAHHH!" Then Bad Sushi brought in ten million Pikachus to shock him, detonated five nuclear bombs, blew up a house, scratched finger nails on a chalk board, sexually assaulted his wife, had Chi-chi hit him on the head with her frying pan, and STILL Vegeta sat there and ignored it!
"WHY"
A gunshot.
"WON'T"
A missile.
"YOU"
Everything he tried before at once.
"SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
After everything became quiet, Vegeta lifted up his head and asked," Is that the best you've got?"
Bad Sushi only stared. Nobody, I mean nobody had ignored him before! Then…he lost it. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Then, Bad Sushi disappeared and everything became quiet…
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Vegeta woke up, for real this time, on the couch. He was still wearing his tuxedo from last night. No Gokus, no Pikachus, and no floating fish!
Vegeta starred for a moment before he said;" Never again…will I ever eat Sushi!"
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Author's Note: Well, there it is ladies and Germs, the end to Bad Sushi. I hope you all liked this one; I know I had fun writing this little one-shot/ parody. Be on the lookout for other stories/one shots coming. In case you couldn't tell, this guy: )O is supposed to be a fish...hehe, kinda hard to tell, but there you are! Oh, and as always Read and Review!