"Okay, I'm gonna go now. Anything special you need?" Dean asked from the door.
"Well, you have the list, I think that's all," Sam answered and turned his face to me. Also Dean was staring, which confused my mind a bit.
"Lovely for you to ask, but I'm an angel, I have easier ways of getting things I need," I simply stated. Dean uttered a laughter, said his byes again and left.
After a while I noticed that I had been staring at the door for quite a while, maybe even for too long. I took a deep breath and tried to turn calmly to some other direction. From the corner of my eye I noticed that I had failed badly; Sam was staring at me, with the most peculiar look on his face.
"Cas, I think we need to talk," he said.
"That is perfectly okay," I answered and smiled at him, maybe this wasn't all bad.
"Is there anything wrong with you?" Sam asked and gestured me to sit on his bed. I sat down while thinking about what to answer.
"No, everything's perfectly fine," I said with a grin that was almost about to look horrible.
"But you're acting strange," Sam pointed out.
"No, I'm perfectly normal," I tried to protest but realized that I had hit perhaps one 'perfect' too much.
"Come on, let it out. It'll only make you feel better. And now that Dean's not here, I can promise that I won't laugh. At least not that much," Sam said and winked an eye on me, I laughed a bit. It was actually relaxing.
I took a deep breath, tried to evaluate if I really could open up to Sam about my problems. After all, I could just disappear in case it went wrong. I didn't want to get far from these two guys but well, if that was what the situation needed...
"Okay, come on already!" Sam insisted again. I turned my eyes upon him, I wished that I'd known how much he knew.
"Well, basically I've learned that I have certain intrest towards a human," I tried to sum it up.
"I already know that you like Dean in some special way, is that all you're worried about?" Sam said and waved his hand.
"What? You know? But I haven't told you!" I startled.
"No but it's quite easy to see. Oh don't worry, I'm sure Dean doesn't have any idea," Sam tried to calm me down. I stared at him but he looked like he was still trying to call me down, probably he was meaning what he said. I knew it sounded stupid but I'd probably die if Dean found out, unless I myself found the courage to tell him. Slaying monsters and dealing with demons was such an easy piece of work to do, considering to talking.
"Well, maybe I could admit that Dean is the target of my interest," I admitted.
"And now you're thinking about how to tell him," Sam suggested.
"Good heavens, no! I'm merely admiring him and his looks, those words are not about to part my lips any day soon," I stated.
"You could just talk to him, you know. I happen to know that he has always been open-minded, even though he is very fond of boobs. So you with boobs would probably be perfect!" Sam laughed.
"I don't know Sam, my vessel is a male humanbeing, wouldn't it be a bit strange for an average human male to have those?" I asked him.
"Oh don't be an ass, you know what I meant!" Sam upbraided me.
"Well, maybe I did. But I still have some problems. How does one attract other human beings? How do I attract Dean?" I asked.
Sam fell silent for a while, looked like he was thinking. I let him have his moment of brainwork, tried to control the pictures in my mind. Going way too wild. I maybe was an angel but my vessel still was a human with human needs. At least some of them. It wasn't that easy to take over my brain but I didn't Sam to witness anything too inappropriate.
"How does your boss feel about it, by the way?" Sam suddenly asked. I didn't at first understand what he meaned but then nodded a few times.
"Well, for starters, I haven't mentioned this to Him. But anyway, the business has always been about 'Love thy neighbor', it was just you humans who decided that it's wrong to love someone of the same sex. It's only a matter of producing enough descendants and I highly doubt that everyone would suddenly find homosexual desires inside them," I shrug my shoulders.
"Oh. That clears that out then! But to be honest, I don't quite know, never thought of him that way. I know he likes you a lot but I have no idea if he likes you that way. You might want to be friendly and polite and then... Well I don't know, get him a CD?" Sam suggested.
I gave the idea some thought, it sounded actually brilliant! Dean loved music maybe more than anything else, that would sure help me win his heart to me. That'd be a delicate way to get closer to the matter.
"That's a good idea! And how should I teel him about my feelings?" I asked.
Sam fell silent for a long while, looked like he was thinking. A lot. I let him do his brainstorming in peace, I had no ideas what so ever. Had I had those, I would've already acted on them.
"Just be honest. And don't shove it on his face. Maybe it would be a good idea to first ask normal things about if he has someone on his mind and so on," Sam suggested. I nodded my head a few times and then disappeared for a few nano-seconds. I believed that Dean already had this CD of Led Zeppelin but he sure didn't have it autographed. Good sides in being an angel.
Sam was trying to help me find the right words until Dean came back. Then Sam just... vanished, he said he wanted to go for a walk. Dean didn't see anything suspicious in it, just told him to stay safe. I swallowed a few times, this was it. Time to try my luck.
Oh dear lord.