Yes. another one shot. (I may be obsessed with them) lol. This time it's JP and Hannah. Sharing a heart to heart after she learns he's gay. And, I know, it's not Craig and JP! Big shocks!!!
What becomes of he broken hearted?
It was Monday morning she saw him. On the way to school. He was stood at the bus stop, staring at absolutely nothing. She stopped suddenly. Even after all the heartache he'd caused her, he still somehow managed to take her breath away. He was wearing his faded blue jeans, and his green stripy jumper. Her favourite on him. He looked so casual and yet so amazing at the same time.
She continued staring at him, now reminiscing about all the times they'd shared. The first time they'd met. The first time they'd kissed. The first time they'd made love. It all came flooding back to her. Like it happened only yesterday when, in reality, it could have been a lifetime ago. She remembered the feel of his fingers linked with hers, of his lips brushing against her. Of his body against her. She could still feel it all so clearly.
'Oi!' she snapped as a passer by knocked into her, putting an abrupt halt to the trip down memory lane. She shook her head, knowing full well that she was only causing herself more pain.
Taking a deep breath, she walked towards him. 'Hey!' she exclaimed cheerfully, wondering if he could see just how much she was hurting, even when she smiled.
He didn't respond at first, trapped in his daydream. She wondered just what it was he was thinking about. Was he thinking about the stick he'd get at school? Was he thinking about Craig? Was he thinking about her?
Before she knew it, she was standing only inches away from him. He still didn't look up. She coughed. He snapped his head to the side and smiled weakly as he saw her. 'Hey!' she repeated, in her usual exagerrated voice. 'Hey' he smiled back.
'How are you?' she asked.
'I'm OK. You know?' he said. He was trying to convince himself more than anything. The reality of the situation was that he was far from OK. He was hurting. Just like she was.
They moved towards the bench and sat down beside one another. Hannah glanced at her watch. 8:15. The bus wasn't due for another 15 mnutes. She contemplated going to the shop. If anything, just to get away from him. Save them both the embarrased silences between them.
She looked back at John-Paul, who'd rested his head against the back of the bus shelter and closed his eyes. 'How are you really?' she asked.
John-Paul lifted his head and gazed at her. 'I don't know' he let out a weak laugh. 'It's mad. I thought being honest with myself was going to make me feel better. But I just feel so... oh - I don't know!'
Hannah pursed her lips. In all honesty, she hadn't wanted him to tell her how he was feeling, because she was scared of what he'd say to her.
'Things between you and Spike seem to be going well?' she calmly noted. John-Paul shrugged. 'Yeh. It's good'
'Good?' she felt a flicker of hope. The doubt in his voice obvious. Was he having second thoughts?
'It's just... It's hard. My first relationship with... a guy. I'm just trying to get used to it.'
She felt her lips frown. 'What about you and Craig?' she asked. John-Paul shrugged. 'There's nothing there' he spoke so quietly, she knew she'd touched a nerve, but she couldn't stop.
'Haven't you spoke to each other?'
'No' he replied, hoping that is he replied simple answers, she'd drop the subject. No such luck.
'You should go and see him. Try and sort things out'
'And why should I be the one apologising?'
'Because, if what I've heard is correct, Craig tried to, and you told him to get lost. I think you owe him an apology!'
John-Paul opened his mouth, ready to object, but he closed it again when he realised she was right. Craig had tried to apologise, but he'd been so stubborn, he'd thrown it away.
He shrugged. 'Maybe'
'Talk to him today!'
'What?' he asked, confused as to where her enthusiasm was coming from. Was she actually telling him to talk to Craig?
'Talk to him' she repeated. She didn't tell him she only wanted him to do it in the hope it's prise him away from Spike.
John-Paul raised an eyebrow. 'Why are you so keen for me to?'
'Because' she began, allowing whatever words she could to stumble from her lips. 'He was your best friend. You can't just throw that away'
John-Paul shrugged. 'He battered me. Blamed the whole thing on me. Why should I?'
'Because it's only fair'
'And why all of a sudden do you know what's best for me?' he snapped, interuppting Hannah as she was about to speak again. 'You don't know how I'm feeling. I might now want to speak to him'
'Fine' she snapped. 'I was only trying to help!' she stood up, flinging her bag over her shoulder, and turned to walk away.
'Hannah!' he called after her. After a second she stopped and turned around.
'I'm sorry' he said. 'I just - I don't know what to do' he said. Without saying a word, she walked back and sat back beside him.
'I just want things back to the way they were before... you know'
'Like that's gonna happen' she replied. 'A lot has changed'
He nodded. A lot had changed. And it was all his fault.
'How's your family coping?' she asked. For a moment, he wondered what she meant. Until he remembered exactly how his family were feeling. 'They're...coping' he began. 'Jacqui and Carmel have been great. Constantly inviting Spike for tea and stuff'
'And the others?'
'Mum's being all over protective. Acting as if Spike's her own. Micheala doesn't care, she's just worried about the reaction from everyone at school. It's not easy being the brother of a queer'
Hannah flinched. She hated it when he said it. Sure, he was being honest, but it still cut deep.
'And Mercedes' he sighed. 'Well, we're hardly the best of friends at the minute'
Hannah nudged him gently. 'I'm sure it'll all be alright' she said, because it was all she could think to say.
John-Paul met her gaze with his. 'You think?'
'Yeh!' she smiled falsely. 'I know it cant have been easy. And I know you're worried about what people think, but it'll be fine. Look at me I still have to shake off the tag of being the girl whose boyfriend dumped her because he's gay!' she was half joking with him, half venting her anger.
Without thinking, John-Paul placed his hand on her shoulder. 'You know it's not your fault, don't you?' he asked.
Hannah stayed silent. 'Hannah?' he sat up straight and turned her face to his. 'You do know that, right?'
She moved her face away from his hands and nodded slowly. 'C-Course I do' she lied. She didn't know that. In fact, she blamed herself for it. I mean, if he'd always been gay anyway, why would he have gone out with her in the first place? Was it a cruel prank at her expense?
'Good' he smiled. He hadn't noticed the apprahension in her voice. He hadn't noticed the way she couldn't even look him in the eye unless physically forced to.
'What about you, anyway?' he asked, tryig in desperation to change the subject. Or at least move on from his love life. 'Anyone special on the horizon?'
She stayed silent for a minute. About to shake her head. And then stoped. 'Yeh, actually. Just a guy I met the other day. Steve. He's great. Tall, dark, handsome'
'Sounds amazing' John-Paul smiled, thrilled that she was moving on from he. He hated the thought of her suffering all because of him.
'Yeh' she smiled. 'He is. He's so gentle and caring,' she lied, unable to control herself. 'He treats me like a princess. Buys me flowers all the time and tells me I look gorgeous.'
'That's great, Han. I'm happy for you' he smiled. Hannah looked at him. 'Yeh?'
'Yeh. Now we've both got ourselves a decent boyfriend. Ohhh I know, we should all meet up. A double date!' he suggested. Hannah opened her mouth to protest, but John-Paul shook his head. 'I'm not taking no for an answer. We'll go for a coffee at Gnosh, and perhas to the movies. But no boats' he winked at her, and she laughed, wondering how long he was going to tease her about that.
'Yeh. Sounds...lovely' she lied.
The bus pulled up in front of them and they both stood up. 'That's settled then. We'll go out for dinner one night. You, me, Spike and Steve'
Before she had chance to protest, John-Paul had climbed onto the bus, practically dragging her on behind him. She sat down beside him, opting for the window seat. As the bus began towards the school, she stared out of the window.
'Anyone special on the horizon?' she replayed the moment over in her head. Replayed her reply. Her lie.
She wondered just how long she'd have to keep up the pretence for. And once again, she wondered how John-Paul had managed to break her heart, yet she still loved him so dearly. She pretended not to listen as he droned on about Spike, all the while, her heart crumbled into tiny pieces. And she knew theere was no way back...
xxxThe Endxxx