Summary: Kenny's not going to give up a chance to be on Terrance and Phillip's show just because he is very inconveniently stuck in hell for the time being, so he resolves to break out.
Author's Note: (feel free to skip this if you want to, it's just my ramblings) So basically, I've been watching a lot of South Park lately and I noticed that there seemed to be a lack of good Kenny-centric episodes and I thought it might be interesting to see what happens to Kenny when he dies. And I thought it would be funny to see Kenny try to escape from hell. I warn you, this story will be very random, and probably very politically incorrect (so I hope I don't offend anyone) because it is South Park. I hope you enjoy!
Prologue
They were going to be on Terrance and Phillip. They couldn't believe it. It was too good to be true. But it was true, and it was the best thing that had ever happened to them. It was as if Christmas (or in Kyle's case, Hanukah) had come early and they had awoken to find their living rooms filled with presents. It was as if God was smiling down on them. It was as if they were the luckiest kids in the world.
It had all begun a few months back, when Terrance and Phillip had launched an international contest. The lucky kid that found the special Terrance and Phillip sticker in a special edition bag of Terrance and Phillip cheesy poofs was going to be flown out to Vancouver with three of their friends to be a part of the show. Needless to say, children around the world were ecstatic and cheesy poof sales skyrocketed.
When Cartman found out, he promptly demanded his mother buy all the bags of special edition Terrance and Phillips cheesy poofs in all of South Park, then all of Park County, then all of the state of Colorado. His persistence paid off. After spending the better part of a month eating his way through several thousand bags of cheesy poofs (and subsequently gaining two hundred pounds then loosing it again in order to win a bet with Kyle), Cartman found the winning sticker. Words could not express Cartman's joy. Now the only thing he had to do to make his life complete was to meet his hero, Hitler, but he could save that adventure for another day.
Cartman then faced the difficult decision of choosing who to take with him to be on Terrance and Phillip's show. He pondered this for a solid two minutes before decided on Kenny, Stan, and…Butters. Cartman proclaimed it was because Jews shouldn't be allowed to be on TV.
Kyle immediately threw a fit and locked himself in his room, declaring that there clearly was no God. Stan began to worry that Kyle might develop another deadly hemorrhoid and loose his faith in life again, so he confronted Cartman. But Cartman, being the fat asshole that he is, refused to concede.
Mrs. Broflovski soon found out, and of course, was outraged by Cartman's explanation. She quickly set up an activist group for equal treatment of Jews in the entertainment industry. But she was never able to quite get the group off the ground because Rob Schneider kept trying to tell lame jokes during the meetings. Eventually Mrs. Broflovski got so fed up she started a petition to get Rob Schneider extradited to Uzbekistan, but that's another story.
Cartman still refused to let Kyle join them, so Stan and Kenny had to scrape together twenty-seven dollars and sixty-four cents, a powdered doughnut, and a bag of cheesy poofs to bribe him. Cartman, whose one true weakness was cheesy poofs, finally agreed to let Kyle come as long as he didn't open his big Jew-mouth and make Cartman look bad in front of Terrance and Phillip.
(When they informed Butters that Kyle was going instead of him, Butters donned the suit of Professor Chaos and once again attempted to wreak havoc on the world by freeing all the cows so no one would have any beef to eat. Unfortunately, once he untethered all the cows in a ten-mile radius and opened up their pens, the cows refused to budge and no attempt at prodding could make them move. He then fell back on his plan B, which was to genetically combine all the tomatoes with tobacco so they would look like tomatoes on the outside but taste like tobacco. But, because it was South Park, the "tomaccos" became and instant hit. General Disarray then remarked that he thought that had happened in the Simpsons once and then Butters decided he was better off just going home and playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure.)
But once all that was sorted out, the boys were content to count the days until the Best Day of Their Lives when they got to be on Terrance and Phillip.
A/N: Sorry about all the random tangents. And the tomacco thing actually is in the Simpsons. And this is my first South Park fanfic, so I hope there in character enough. Please review!