Notes: I don't think it's realistic for anything to happen between Casey and Derek while they're both still living in the same house with their family, so this takes place about 6 years in the future. Derek is 22, Casey is 21, Edwin and Lizzie are both 18, and Marti is 14. Casey and Derek are both in their final year of university, Casey at Laurier and Derek at Lakehead (they are pretty much on opposite sides of the province for those not from Canada or Ontario). Their characters are obviously not the same as in the show as they are older and have matured in the past six years. I think anything else will be explained through the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em.

By All Appearances

Chapter One

Casey MacDonald stared at her textbook, not really reading the words but staring in the general direction on the pages. She had just finished the last exam of the term, but had decided to read ahead for the sociology of work class she was going to be taking come January. In all actuality, she was waiting for her roommate, and best friend, Sam to get home from the library where he was studying for his own final exam of the term so they could watch a movie.

It was nearing ten thirty when the phone rang, startling her out of the daze she had been in. Knowing her roommate Holly was already in bed, Casey quickly picked up.

"Casey MacDonald?" the person on the other end asked.

Puzzled, Casey replied. "This is she."

"This is Peter Heathrow from emergency room at the Grand River Hospital. I'm calling in regards to Samuel Calhoun. You are listed as the In Case of Emergency contact in his cell phone."

The world seemed to be revolving around her. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. What was happening? Where was Sam? "O-okay," she managed.

"Mr. Calhoun was hit by a car tonight," Peter said. Casey shoved a fist in her mouth to stifle a cry. He continued on, as though he was reading off a script. He probably does this all day, Casey thought, her somehow miraculously continuing to work. It doesn't mean anything to him. I am just one more phone call on a long list of hospital patients. "He was brought in with multiple injuries and is in very critical condition. As the I.C.E. we need you to come into…"

Peter the recording continued to speak, telling Casey that she needed to come into the hospital immediately, that Sam, her Sam, needed papers signed and procedures okayed by her in person. She was pretty sure that Sam wasn't thinking about signing forms if he was in such critical condition but Peter had already hung up by the time her brain caught up, apparently used to delivering heartbreaking news about loved ones and receiving silence in return.

Heart pounding, Casey remained still for a moment. Sam. Sam had been in an accident. A car had hit Sam. Sam had been run over by a godforsaking fucking car and left for dead in the middle of the road. No, that wouldn't do. Who even knew if that was true. She hadn't even thought to ask about the driver. If it was an accident. If it was unavoidable.

Knowing what her next task was didn't make it any easier to do. She got her address book out of the second drawer in her desk and opened it to the C page. The second entry, printed neatly in her own handwriting, clearly read 'Mr. and Mrs. Calhoun'. Dialing the number into her phone, Casey held it to her ear, gripping the small device so tightly she thought she would surely break it at any moment.

"Hello?"

Casey recognized Sam's mother's voice, although it sounded groggy with sleep. For an instant she is fifteen again and snuggled with Sam in his parents' house, watching an old movie, while his parents joke and giggle in the kitchen.

"Hello?" his mother asked again, more awake this time, having heard Casey's hitched breath.

"M-Mrs. Calhoun?" Casey began, unsure of how to break this horrible news, the worst phone call any parent can receive.

"Casey? Is that you?" After a moment of silence, Mrs. Calhoun's voice becomes more urgent. "Casey? What's wrong? Is something wrong?"

Casey took a deep breath. I can do this. I can be strong. I am strong. "Th-there's been an accident. With Sam. He's at the hospital here. They say its… They told me it's serious." Mrs. Calhoun began to cry. Casey listened, her heart throbbing painfully. "I think you should come," she finished lamely, not knowing what else to do or say.

"O-okay. We're on our way. Jon. Jonathan! Wake up now!" Casey could hear Sam's father stirring at the urgency in his wife's voice. "What- Do you know what happened to him?"

She nodded then realized they couldn't see her nod. "Yes. He was hit by a car."

Mrs. Calhoun made a strange sort of keening noise that made Casey's heart hurt. She pressed a hand there and tipped her head forward. The words on the page in front of her blurred together, looking like a large greyish blob. She couldn't believe that fifteen minutes ago she had been reading about John Dewey and his theories of education, waiting for Sam to come back to watch a movie, and now… Now her entire world was falling apart.

"Casey, we're on our way. Tell him… tell him we love him, when you see him."

She swallowed. "I will, Mrs. Calhoun. He's at Grand River Hospital. I-I'll see you there."

Flipping her phone shut, Casey let her head fall into her hands. She took a few deep breaths, rubbed her hands over her face, and then stood up, leaving her room to knock on her roommate's bedroom door.

"Come on in," Lauren called over the sound of her TV. Casey opened the door, and Lauren looked over at her. "What's wrong," she immediately asked, knowing Casey almost as well as she knew herself.

"Th-there's been an accident. With Sam," she told her, unknowingly using the same words she had used with Mrs. Calhoun. "I need you to drive me to the hospital."

Lauren's face slackened and she leapt up from her bed, staring at Casey in disbelief. "What? Sam was in an accident?" Casey nodded, not wanting to have to say it again, and looked away. "Oh my God. Okay. Okay, sure. Hospital. Yes. Let's go. You ready?" Lauren looked at Casey, dressed in old sweats and a Laurier T-shirt, expecting her friend to want to change, but Casey just nodded mutely. "All right. Okay. Let's go."

*

Casey and Lauren arrived at the hospital in record time, although finding a parking spot was less than easy. Casey sat silently in the passenger seat as Lauren pulled in and as soon as the car was in park she was out of her seat, leaving Lauren to hurry along behind her. She reached the ER doors then stopped, staring through the glass at the crowds of people sitting, walking and waiting inside. Lauren caught up to her and Casey turned to face her friend.

"It's all going to change now, isn't it?" she said, sounding strangely detached and un-Casey-like. "Very critical condition. That's what they said. That's not good."

"No, it's really not," Lauren agreed. "Let's go find him."

Chaos. It was chaos in the ER waiting room as the injured moaned, babies wailed and a couple adults held a full fledged argument in a corner. Casey couldn't make out what they were yelling about, but all the noise hurt her still reeling brain. Lauren took her hand and gently lead her through the crowded room and over to the nurse at the desk.

"Sam Calhoun," Lauren said, as Casey seemed to have suddenly lost all ability to speak. She stared at each of the injured people waiting to see a doctor, picturing each one with Sam's face, only times a thousand, as Sam was in very critical condition and these people could wait for hours to see someone.

The nurse clicked away at her computer before saying, "One moment. The doctor will be right out."

Casey tore her eyes away from a particularly pathetic old man whose left leg was propped up, the ankle bent at an unnatural angle. His face was white as a sheet and he was gripping the hand of an elderly woman next to him. She imagined Sam's face in that kind of pain and her heart gave another painful throb.

And then Lauren was pulling her to a couple of empty seats near the door, and it struck Casey what the nurse at the desk had said. The doctor would be right out? Did that mean they were finished working on Sam? Was he stable? Wasn't that what they called it when someone was okay? Stable? She had no idea. All of her hospital knowledge came from TV, and TV was definitely not that knowledgeable. Why hadn't she taken some kind of course? Her St. John's babysitting 101 class seemed far in the distant past and she had had no time to take a first aid class while she was so busy with school. Maybe she should have made time, she thought now, although it seemed a ridiculous thing to be thinking about while she sat in a hospital waiting room and her best friend could be dying.

"Casey MacDonald?"

A tall man with graying hair looked around the room. Casey jolted at her name and then rose, Lauren beside her, and the doctor saw them and gestured for the two girls to join him.

"Hi, Casey. My name is Doctor Newell. I was the doctor assigned to Sam's case." The doctor looked kindly at Casey, sympathy evident in his eyes.

Casey swallowed. Suddenly the whole situation seemed that much more real.

"I'm sorry. Sam didn't make it."

The world seemed to fall away from her, leaving Casey standing in nowhere. Was she even standing? The doctor's mouth kept moving. She focused on the kind face, the words leaving his lips, pulling herself back to the present. "…drunk driver. We did all we could, but the injuries were too severe." The doctor paused, and then sensing neither girl was going to say anything, continued. "How are you related to Sam?"

It didn't even register that the doctor was talking to her, asking her a question. She was lost. Hit by a drunk driver? Sam was… gone, all because some idiot couldn't call a cab instead of getting into the driver's seat?

Lauren took over, seeing Casey wasn't going to answer. "She's not. I'm not either. I mean, we're roommates… Friends. His parents will be here soon. She called them," she added lamely, biting her lip.

The doctor nodded and told them to send Sam's parents to him when they arrived. Lauren led Casey back to their seats as they waited for the Calhoun's.

It didn't take long. Casey had been staring into space, thinking about nothing, but she looked up when Lauren nudged her shoulder to see Sam's parents rush into the ER. They caught sight of Casey and Mrs. Calhoun practically flew at her, thrown into more of a panic by Lauren's tearstained face.

"You should go talk to Dr. Newell," Casey told her, her voice devoid of any emotion. "He said for you to go talk to him."

"Wha-? Casey, what's going on? What's happened?"

"Please, Mrs. Calhoun, just go talk to Dr. Newell. He'll explain everything." With that, Casey turned and walked out of the ER. She couldn't bear to bear around when Sam's parents found out their only son was… gone.

*

Casey thought she should probably be crying. She certainly felt sad and lost and alone enough to cry. In fact, it usually took less than this for her to cry. But for some reason no tears would come. She sat on the floor in Sam's room, alone but for the fish swimming around in his tank. She had logged onto his computer and opened his iTunes and started a random playlist, wanting to hear his music, pretend that he was going to walk in the door any minute and tease her for believing such a silly story.

Unfortunately, the fish just kept swimming, the music played and she sat alone on the floor, surrounded by thousands of things that would forever remind her of her best friend.

She could hear footsteps and low talking outside the door. She knew Lauren had told Holly what had happened. She had heard Holly's loud outburst, the quiet crying. She assumed her two remaining roommates – remaining roommates, what an odd expression to think, Casey thought – were going to try to get her to come out, to talk, to get some sleep in her own room.

Sure enough, the doorknob rattled and she felt a sense of satisfaction, and then felt immediately guilty. Her friends were only trying to help she knew. But she really just wanted to be alone. She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to sleep, and she most definitely didn't want to leave this Sam-filled room, when it would surely be packed up into neat boxes soon enough and all she'd be left with was an empty room, photographs and memories.

She heard Lauren's voice, and then Holly's coming from the other side of the door. Ignoring them, she held the sweater she had picked up off the bed to her face. It was almost like he was there. It was probably the closest she would get. She didn't want to lay in his bed; they had never really done that before. It felt almost like an invasion of privacy. So she remained on the floor, pretending he was sitting beside her, until Lauren and Holly went to their own rooms.

She might have dozed; she didn't know, she could have just as easily been staring into space and thinking. The shrill ring of her phone jolted her out of her doze or daydream, and she answered quietly.

"Casey."

"Hi, Mr. Calhoun."

"Casey, I just wanted to thank you for- for going to see Sam. And for waiting for us. We're going to bring him back to London tomorrow and hold the service in a couple days there. I thought you should know, so you can get back home." Sam's father sounded exhausted, his voice raw and on the verge of tears. It was somewhat disturbing for Casey to hear a man she saw as very strong sound so defeated and she wanted to end the conversation as soon as possible.

"Thanks for letting me know. I'll be there." She ended the call and then dialed a very familiar number.

"Hello?" Her mother's sleepy voice came across the line and her naiveté of the whole situation soothed Casey in a way she didn't understand.

"Hi, Mom." She stopped, not really knowing what to say, then decided on the bare truth. "There's been an accident. Sam is dead and I need you to bring me back to London."