Okay I love parodies. I have read one on Benny & Joon, Edwards Scissorshands and they made me laugh so hard. I just read one on Arthur and Mr. Ratburn had Tourettes. It was a funny story.
101 Dalmatians was my favorite movie for a few years before I moved onto A League of Their Own so I had decided to do my own parody and picked this one.
Warning: This story contains animal abuse. If you take the internet too seriously, I advise you to hit the back button. But if you know this is not meant to be taken seriously, good for you.
Scene 1
Murder in the Zoo
(It is a very cloudy day in London; the milk man is bringing empty bottles to his lorry. He tosses them in the back literally and there is a shatter sound and he climbs back in the lorry and drives off)
(The alarm clock is ringing inside one of the flats on the night stand and the vibration is moving it off the night stand. It falls off and hits Pongo right on his penis because he was lying upside down.)
Pongo: (Shakes himself awake and howls with pain)
(He gets up and walks to the bathroom. He turns on the shower nozzle and pulls the shower curtain closed. The whole thing falls down and lands on him so he crawls out from under there and goes back in Roger's bedroom. He pulls the covers off of him and Roger is sleeping with nothing on and he is laying face down. Pongo licks the back of his neck and he doesn't wake up so he digs his head in his crotch and licks him down there and he still doesn't wake up so he finally bites his penis and Roger's head shoots up in the air open eyes real wide)
Roger: AAHHH!
(Pongo walks into the kitchen and turns on the coffee maker with his tongue and walks in the living room. He uses his paw to turn on the power button on the computer and the words on the monitor appear. It says 'stay off my computer you dumb dog.')
Pongo: Woof woof woof
(Pongo leaves the computer and walks to the door and pushes the red button and the door opens. Pongo walks outside and gets the milk and shuts it behind him but the door slams on his tail)
Pongo: (howls with pain)
Roger: (shouting) Shut up boy
(In another London flat across the Westminster area)
News reporter on TV: We were not familiar with the illegal poaching of endangered animals in the wild until now. An animal at the zoo here in London was slaughtered for its pelt.
(Anita comes into the room with a cup of tea in her hand and she is wearing clown shoes on her feet as slippers and she is wearing a huge sleeper made out of linen. She sits down at the table where her sketches are of her designs)
(Perdy is sitting on the floor watching TV. She turns around and looks at Anita)
Perdy: Woof woof
(Anita turns her head and looks at the TV and so does Perdy again)
News reporter: Early this morning, while the zookeepers were opening up the zoo, one of them found a dead Siberian bird in the cage and immediately called the security staff. Shortly this morning before dawn, someone had broken into the zoo and killed a three-year-old Siberian bird and all its feathers were gone and so was the skin
(Perdy is growling and moaning throughout the whole news)
News Reporter: The Scotland Yard checked it out and they suggested that the killing was done by someone who privately collects rare animal fur or feathers.
Anita: Ugh. Who on earth would kill a dumb bird and take of its feathers and skin? Probably someone who is sick, pathetic and stupid.
News reporter: …if this ever happens again with another endangered animal here, we've got to ask ourselves if any animal on the whole planet if safe
Perdy whimpers and howls at the TV as the news reporter says: This is Tim Bry-man reporting from the oldest zoo of all, London Zoo
Anita: Shut up, I can't hear. Damn it, you just made me miss the rest!
(Anita turns her head back at the drawings)
Anita: Stupid dog
(Roger is sitting on a bench in St James Park reading Independent. The headline reads: London Zoo bird looses its precious feathers and skin. Pongo is sitting beside him on the bench. Then he sees a nanny dressed in summer clothing even though its fall and brisky out pushing a baby in the crappy old pram who is wearing no clothing and only a dirty nappy, and the small Chihuahua is sitting underneath the pram bed)
Chihuahua: Woof woof
Pongo: woof woof
Chihuahua: woof
(Then an eighty-something-year-old man dressed up as a Buckingham guard comes by with an ugly bulldog on its leash)
Bull Dog growling: woof woof
Pongo: (soft bark) woof
Bulldog: (growling) woof
Roger: Shut up boy
(Then a middle aged man comes by running with a Boxer on its leash wearing no shirt)
Boxer: woof woof woof
Pongo: woof
Boxer: woof
Roger: (shouting) Hey, how many times have I told you this morning? Shut up. (Hits him with the newspaper and reads it some more)
(Pongo keeps barking to his doggy friends and then Roger hits him again with the newspaper)
Roger: SHUT UP! (He then folds up the paper)
Roger: (being sarcastic) Another great day in the animal kingdom
Roger: (Turns to his dog) One day, very soon, Pongo, I'm going to have a sale. I'll sell one of those games I created. We're fast approaching where I'm going to quit eating your table scraps and licking the shit off your anus
Pongo: (barks in a sad voice) Woof (whimpers)
Roger: (looks at him) I was exaggerating stupid. Can't you tell the difference? (gets up from the bench) Well shall we? (pulls Pongo by the leash but he doesn't come)
Roger: C'mon boy, it won't be that bad
(Pongo gets up and jumps off the bench and walks along Roger)
Roger: It won't be that bad. This is a very important for me that this meeting goes well and I'm so nervous and you know how I am about them. When I get nervous, I feel like I'm going to throw up and I say things and do things I shouldn't do like when I hit you with my newspaper which I shouldn't done and the next thing you know, I'm abusive
(At the next bench sits Anita reading her newspaper with Perdy sitting beside her on the bench too and her bike is parked there too on the bench)
Perdy: (barking to one of her doggy friends) Woof woof
Anita: (hits her with the newspaper) Shut up Perdy, I'm trying to read!