Quidditch For Morons

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter, not us :P

Summary: "I am a Slytherin. We do not ask, we negotiate in our favour." Welcome to the epicness between Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.

Granger.

Malfoy.

What is that- obscenity in that mutated bush you call hair?

A hair clip. Wait. What do you mean, an obscenity?

That thing.

Well, I'll have you know, it's-

PLEASE, Granger, I don't have time for this. Time's a-ticking and this Charms essay isn't going to write itself.

I was wondering why you were in the library for once.

Granger, if I find that one word of this has been-

Please, Malfoy. I wouldn't even think of popping your over-inflated ego.

…

…

That's what I thought.

…

…

Malfoy, I don't think staring at the book will help you understand it any more than you already do.

I wasn't staring! That is, I was err- thoughtfully observing how the multitude of words comes together to form this godforsaken-

In other words, you were staring.

Shut up, Granger, you're distracting me from my diligent work.

You weren't working in the first place! The only thing you've written is- let's see- Draco Malfoy. Ten times. In various types of writing?

Yes, well, I was practicing my signature. My favourite is the third one. I suppose you like the one with flowers?

On the contrary, I think all of them are rather horrid.

What?! I'll have you know these are works of art! Masterpieces!

Keep deluding yourself.

Why are you wearing that 'thing' anyway? I would've never thought pink was your colour.

You're Charms essay is waiting. No wonder you're no good at it. You aren't very charming.

Au contraire, mademoiselle. I think you would be surprised. Anyways, I don't recall seeing a line of suitors just waiting for you to look at them.

And where's yours?

The group of fan girls hiding behind the bookshelves giving you death glares should be some indication.

What fan girls?

Haha- made you look.

Oh, honestly.

What are you reading, anyway?

…

Quidditch for Morons?!

Yes.

No!

Go away, Malfoy.

Is this THE Hermione Granger, insipid know-it-all, dictionary and encyclopedia to every known question in the history of mankind actually-?

Yes, Malfoy. Now don't waste your precious few brain cells on me, or else professor Flitwick will have your head.

Pfft! Flitwick? He c- don't try and change the subject, Granger. Now tell me, why would the supreme Knower of All Things Nerdy be reading a book meant for those of the lowest IQ?

… iwunolerowtoflyter.

I'm sorry; could you please say that like a normal human being? I seem to have trouble understanding inarticulate morons.

… I want to learn how to fly better.

What?

…

No need to glare, I was only asking. Jeez.

…

Say what, Granger? If you help me on this essay and tutor me so that I get an O in Charms this year, I'll make you at least an average flyer.

Is this you asking for help, Malfoy?

Don't push it, Granger. I am a Slytherin. We do not ask, we negotiate in our favour.

Granger

Looks like your nagging paid off.

Thanks.

Inside was a small golden hair clip.

Hermione turned the parchment over.

PS. That hair clip was expensive, so I better not see you wearing that other monstrosity again. This one changes colour and shape to suit the wearer and her clothing.

She smiled.

Author 1: I don't really know what to say about this story, except that it sort of came out of nowhere. There will be no sequel to it, as both I and Author 2 are trying to concentrate on Wandering Boy for now. We are still writing! Thanks for reading, and please leave a review if you like it- they push us to write more. :)

Author 2: A monologue written entirely by Author 1. Enjoy and review.