Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Harry Potter universe. I'm only playing with the characters. Please don't sue me.
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Author: Catium
Rating: NC-13
Word Count: 4411
Genre: Romance, Humour
Status: Complete
Warnings: Language, smut, slash.
Summary: Sirius is dreaming of a white Christmas but gets something else he's been dreaming of.
Note: A fic a made two years ago for a Christmas fic challenge on an Icelandic fanfiction page and I decided to translate it into English and share it with you. Merry Christmas;)
Dreaming of a White Christmas
Sirius Black opened his eyes. He stared into space for a while before he got out of bed. He put on his pyjamas, since the neighbours had complained about seeing him naked through the windows in the morning, went into the kitchen in his small Muggle apartment. As he did, he looked at the calendar and turned on the television.
"24th of December..." he thought.
"...And I don't have anywhere to go on Christmas," he said out loud.
"My 'family' doesn't want me, James and Lily are staying with James's parents tomorrow, they invited me but I don't want to impose on their first Christmas together with James's parents. Remus is going to be with his parents since there was full moon last Christmas. The biggest fun I've had at Christmas for years."
He poured some cereal into a bowl for himself, sat down and looked at the TV. He'd been thrilled of the thought of TV when Lily told him about it. It had been one of the first things he'd bought last summer when he'd moved into his own apartment, soon after the graduation from Hogwarts. He'd been living with the Potters for nearly 2 years and since he had enough money, which he'd inherited from his Uncle Alphard, he decided to use it and rent an apartment in London. Despite a loud protest from James and his parents about how they told him they would love for him to keep living with them. He'd bought himself a TV the very same day he'd moved in and not realized until the evening that he didn't even own a bed yet. That he'd bought the very next day.
The weather was starting on the BBC. Sirius was excited to see now if Britain was going to get a white Christmas, but a small heat wave had been in Britain for the last week or so and the temperature had been around 20°C.
"This is the weather forecast on Christmas Eve, December 24, 1978, and many people's dream about a white Christmas..." the weather man dragged out the sentence to enhance the excitement.
It worked and Sirius leaned forward in anticipation.
"...seems unfortunately... not going to come true. We are expecting a 2° rise in temperature until Christmas Day and people should be able to eat their dinner outside if they fancy..."
Sirius leaned back in his chair. He missed Hogwarts. Since the school was so far in the north a white Christmas was a sure thing, but here in London it depended on a lot of things and this year the heat wave had completely eliminated the option of that happening. Sirius decided that since he'd be forced to spend Christmas alone, he could at least spend some money. He was going to go shopping, buy himself some fancy Christmas food, Christmas decorations and then give himself an obscenely expensive and extravagant Christmas present. The Christmas tree he'd bought yesterday, but still hadn't decorated, had some Christmas presents under it, ones from James and Lily, the Potters and Peter. He'd received a note from his family yesterday that said:
The innerest circle of hell is for traitors and mutineers. This heat wave is only the beginning on what awaits you in hell. A treachery to the poor blood is a treachery to the family.
Walburga, Orion and Regulus Black
They had clearly bothered looking through the Bible to find this quote and since pure blooded wizards weren't usually very Christian, Sirius had laughed for a long time when he read this. He'd sent them a letter back which said:
Then we'll meet in hell, mother and father. Regulus.
Your son and brother always,
Sirius Black
Sirius put on a pair of black jeans and a black turtleneck made out of cashmere which he'd bought for the long "cold" winter he'd thought was coming last fall. He didn't even bother with the jacket.
He went out of his apartment, locked the doors, turned around and ran straight into the arms of Remus Lupin. Both of them fell on the floor at the impact. Sirius on top of Remus.
"Ouch Sirius, can't you ever look around before you run off?" Remus was irritated but amused at the same time.
"Sorry Remus. I really wasn't expecting anyone and I was also thinking about what I should buy myself as a Christmas present since I'm the only one I've got left to buy a Christmas present for," Sirius said and raised himself up on his elbows so he would be able to see Remus's face.
Remus smiled a half smile but frowned when Sirius's hair fell into his face.
"You should buy yourself a haircut as a Christmas present for you and everyone you're going to fall on top off in the upcoming year." Remus reached out his hand and took a lock of Sirius's hair, which he'd allowed to grow freely the whole year; it now reached all the way to his lower back, and put it behind Sirius's ear.
The breath got stuck in Sirius's throat. He'd always known he was gay. That is, ever since he knew what being gay was (which hadn't been until 3 years ago). And since he'd known what being gay was and that he was gay, he'd also known that this weird feeling he felt every time he saw Remus or even so much as thought about Remus, was love. At first it had only been a fondness but after he, James and Peter had managed to become Animagi and had started experiencing all these incredible night time adventures with Remus when he was in his werewolf form, that feeling had deepened and become love. Unrequited love. Sirius knew Remus wasn't gay, he'd kissed a girl at the Yule Ball their final year at Hogwarts. Sirius had seen it. He'd never had the guts to tell Remus that he'd seen it. Remus knew Sirius was gay. Sirius had come out as soon he'd realised his feelings, he'd even told his family. To the delight of his mother. But he couldn't tell Remus about his feelings for him; he just knew Remus would hate him for feeling this way and stop talking to him. Sirius would rather just stay friends with Remus than let Remus hate him and stop talking to him.
"Sirius?" Remus asked who was used to getting some witty remark every time he mentioned Sirius's hair.
"Merlin, he's got beautiful eyes," Remus thought. He was in love with Sirius, had been for 3 years now, ever since his friends, Sirius, James and Peter, had managed to become Animagi and their night time adventures had started for real. He was bi but had never told anyone about it. People were understanding about Sirius being gay but there was no way they would understand how anyone could be bisexual. That's why Remus was half in the closet and had this unrequited love towards Sirius. The stunning, gorgeous and rich Sirius Black could never love a poor, scarred and ugly werewolf like him...and...was that a cashmere jumper?
"Sirius?" Remus said again.
Sirius broke away from his train of thought and smiled at Remus.
"I can't stand up while you've got your hand in my hair," he said half smiling.
Remus realised that sometime while he was thinking, he'd started stroking Sirius's hair and let go of it, terrified. If Sirius knew, he'd never talk to him again.
Sirius stood up and gave Remus his hand. Remus took it and pulled himself up from the floor with Sirius's aid.
Sirius didn't let go of Remus's hand once Remus was up from the floor and stared into his eyes. Then he reached forward and ran his hand over Remus's hair and stared at him so hard and for so long that Remus was starting to get embarrassed.
"What?" Remus asked.
"Let's make a deal," Sirius said solemnly. "I'll get a haircut and cut half of my hair off and get it fixed. If...you come with me and hold my hand. And I mean that literally. Not just mental support, but an actual physical handclasp. Scissors scare the shit out of me. My boggart in DADA during third year turned into scissors when it saw me."
Remus laughed. Sirius's boggart had turned into his mother Walburga. Not scissors. "No it didn't, I was with you in that class. Remember?"
"Ahh yes...that's right. But still you gotta come with me and hold my hand," Sirius said and started laughing too. "Well then let's go; let's find a hairdresser that isn't terribly busy."
"Yes all right then, I'll go with you. But first..." and as he said that Remus handed Sirius the gift that had mostly been the point of him visiting Sirius. The other one had been to bring the gift early enough to have a shot at waking Sirius up and getting him to the door naked, that hope had failed him.
"Thanks Remus." Sirius hugged Remus and put the package inside his apartment on the table next to the door, closed and locked it again.
They headed out looking for a hairdresser that wasn't, quoting Sirius, "terribly" busy, during this hot Christmas Eve. They found one shortly and went inside. The hairdresser nearly yelled when she saw Sirius's shock of hair that he'd barely bothered to comb before he went out, and dragged him into the nearest chair. Remus followed faithfully and once Sirius had sat down, Remus put out his hand. Sirius took it into his own hand. The hairdresser stared at them with such a weird expression when they started holding hands that they nearly burst out laughing but barely managed to contain themselves.
An hour later, a newly cut Sirius Black came out from the hairdresser. Remus came out behind him, laughing uproariously. Sirius had dragged out a mirror and was staring at his hair with a terrified expression.
"Half. I said half. Didn't I say half? Not three fourths of my hair. Didn't I say half?" Sirius asked and turned towards Remus.
"Yes, you did, but I bribed the hairdresser to take this much off your hair. You look good like this with your hair reaching just below your ears." Remus smiled when Sirius chin dropped in shock.
"You are so lucky that it's Christmas and we're around Muggles..." he hissed.
He walked right up to Remus, nearly touching him and leaned in so he could whisper in Remus's ear. He was so close that Remus felt his breath ghosting over his neck. That, along with how close Sirius was standing was unbelievable sexy and Remus started to feel a specific body part stirring to life.
"...or else I would curse you right here, right now...and punish you in an unspeakable manner," he whispered in a threatening voice.
Remus swallowed hard and before he knew what he was doing, he whispered back, "What would you do? Chain me to your bed and spank me?" He realised a second too late what he'd said and stared, panicked, at Sirius.
"Oh bloody hell, shit, Morgana.* Now he's going to find out and never talk to me again," Remus thought and stared.
His panic turned into amazement when Sirius started to laugh, a low, sexy laugh coming deep from his throat and whispered back in a husky voice. "Who knows? If you keep behaving this badly today then I might be forced to punish you like this. Come on now, if you're going to come with me to shop."
When he said that, Sirius leaned away from Remus and when he did, Remus could have sworn that Sirius's hand, the hand that Sirius had rested on his shoulder, went down his back and brushed lightly over his hip.
Sirius turned around and smirked at Remus. A suspicion had woken up this earlier this morning when Remus had started stroking his hair instead of standing up straight away after their tumble to the floor. That suspicion, after Remus's words, had now been confirmed.
"It looks like," he thought, "Remus Lupin is not as straight as he seems. Could it be that he's bi AND that he has feelings for me...and I never suspected even with my gay- and bi-dar? Clearly you never know your friends well enough. Maybe it's time for us to move our friendship to the next level."
"What do you have left to buy?" Remus asked.
"Ah... just my Christmas present, your Christmas present, the Christmas food, the Christmas decorations for the Christmas tree and the apartment," Sirius answered nonchalantly.
"SIRIUS!" Remus yelled. "This is going to take all day and you're being optimistic about getting the lunch and the decorations the day before Christmas."
"Well, then we should hurry, I will just buy your Christmas present now and give it to you right away, not having to gift wrap it is going to save time. What do you want for Christmas, Moony?"
I don't know Padfoot," Remus answered him.
"I know!" Sirius said and turned around so quickly that Remus, who had been walking close behind him, nearly ended up in his arms for the second time this morning. "What about a cashmere sweater? I felt you stroking mine when we were lying on the floor earlier. You were absolutely mesmerised."
"Morgana. He felt it..." Remus thought, "...well, it would be wrong not taking advantage of this, since he wants to give me a cashmere sweater. I really want one but they're really expensive."
"All right then. Sure. Thanks, Sirius."
They went to the clothing shop where Sirius had bought his cashmere turtleneck in the fall and found a dark brown cashmere sweater that matched Remus's eye colour. The clerk remembered Sirius and his insane clothes shopping in the fall and was very willing to help them out. They found the right size and Remus went in the cubicle to try it on. When he came out, Sirius was staring at him again with this weird expression of his. Again, Remus got embarrassed.
"What, Sirius?" he asked and blushed at how awkward his voice sounded.
Sirius walked slowly towards him and kept looking at him with this weird expression. When he came close enough, he started to stroke over the sweater which included stroking Remus at the same time. All of sudden, it was like a light bulb went on in Remus's head.
"He knows!!!" Remus thought. "And if I'm not mistaken he's hitting on me and playing with me at the same time. But two can play that game. I wasn't a Marauder for no reason. Let the games begin." As soon as he thought that, another voice was yelling in his head. "Sirius likes me too and he's not disgusted that I like him. Yes! Yes! YES!"
"You know, Remus?" Sirius said. "If you start wearing clothes like this all the time then it won't be long until you'll be able to have any woman or man you want chained to your bed."
"Really?" Remus said back. "Maybe there is just one man that I'm interested in having chained to my bed."
"Merlin I just came out to my friend and kind of admitted that I like him at the same time. Merlin, Jesus, God. I'm not even this religious. Oh my God. All right! Breathe, Remus! Breathe!
"We should keep going," Sirius said "I've still got to buy my Christmas present, decorations and food."
And they kept on shopping. Remus and Sirius first went to a gourmet food store where Sirius bought Icelandic ptarmigan which was a new product for this Christmas and apparently was better than the Scottish ones that Sirius had loved at Hogwarts. To accompany the ptarmigan, they picked out drinks, some cookies and then chocolate which finished the Christmas food shopping. Next, they went to a store that specialised in Christmas decorations. There, Sirius bought himself some golden and red Christmas ornaments for the tree, a star for the top and light sets for both the tree and the window along with other small Christmas decorations to make Sirius's apartment look like there actually was Christmas. While doing this, they flirted non-stop with each other using suggestive sentences, looks and touches. Sirius started to compliment Remus for being a sharp dresser in a loud voice in the middle of the Christmas decoration shop, and complimented him especially for how good his ass looked in those dark blue jeans with the brown cashmere sweater above it. This compliment came with a very inappropriate touch from Sirius where he came rather close to touching more than just Remus's ass. Remus got really embarrassed but got back at Sirius by "falling" into Sirius's arms and whispering, "Thank you, my hero," with such a sexy bed room voice that Sirius needed every inch of willpower he had not to have a rather big problem happening down south. Eventually, the salesclerk asked them to buy what they already had picked out, leave, and never come back.
Finally, they went to a motorcycle shop that sold Harley Davidson motorcycles, spare parts and assorted motorcycle merchandise.
"What are we doing here?" Remus asked.
"I've been looking at this motorcycle..." Sirius said and pointed at a black Harley Davidson FLH motorcycle, 1969 model*, "...since last year and now I'm going to buy it and along with this..." Sirius dragged out a book from the library on Diagon Alley about how to modify Muggle motorcycles and cars so they could fly, "...I'll be able to travel everywhere I want. This is not the newest model but it's so cool and it's £41,241.16."
"How are you going to pay for it and don't you need a drivers licence?" Remus asked.
"I've got an account in a Muggle bank and I keep a considerable amount of my money there so I'll be able to function, money-wise, in the Muggle world," Sirius answered, "and I got a motorcycle licence last summer so I'm completely set to travel and then I've got this." And having said that, Sirius pulled a credit card out of his pocket.
Half an hour later, Sirius came driving out of the Harley Davidson store on his FLH Harley bike wearing a black helmet and a black leather jacket. Remus was sitting behind him with a helmet Sirius had bought as a spare. "Because I don't want to injure my passengers," he said seriously and pointed at the helmet he wanted as a spare.
They went to Sirius's apartment and started to decorate the tree and the apartment which took most of the day. When dinnertime starting approaching, they were nearly finished with the tree but a howl could be heard coming from both Remus and Sirius's stomachs. They looked at each other and started laughing.
"Let's order a pizza," Sirius said and saw Remus's facial expression becoming puzzled. "It's an Italian Muggle food that has become very popular here in Britain and they have started to send them to your house if you order them. I'm becoming addicted to them, they are really good and you are going to eat with me," he explained to Remus.
They finished decorating the tree, ordered the pizza and it came after a while. They had a seat in the living room and Sirius brought out two bottles of butterbeer and handed one to Remus. Sirius took a seat next to Remus on the couch and Remus raised his bottle.
"I would like to propose a toast," he said and looked at Sirius. "To a great day with my best friend, a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. May our friendship keep blossoming for years and years to come and..." Remus hesitated but a small voice told him, "Go on...go for it. If he doesn't toast with you, you'll know he doesn't like you but if he does toast with you, then the dream about a white Christmas might come true too*." "...and," Remus continued, "may it become something more than just a friendship in the upcoming year."
Sirius looked at Remus with question in his eyes. "I can't believe he just said that. He wants to take our friendship to the next level. He has feelings for me. YES!!! Thank you God, you can send me to the inmost circle of hell when I die because this is all I ask for. Remus has feelings for me."
"To something more than friendship," he echoed and toasted with Remus. They took a sip and started looking each other in the eyes, looking for that final answer to their questions. Suddenly it was like they'd both gotten the answer at the same time. They put their butterbeers on the coffee table at the same time and leaned in to each other. And for the first time that day, despite many opportunities when it could have happened, their lips met in a simple, half innocent kiss, despite the tongues.
They broke the kiss only when they were getting desperate for oxygen and looked deep into each other's eyes, then said at the same time, "It was about bloody time. Took you long enough to figure it out. Me? Why didn't you say anything? I thought you'd hate me and never talk to me again."
They both laughed at these words.
"Really, Remus? Did you really think I didn't have any feeling towards you? What about that time when we talked non-stop for two hours shortly before our graduation? I thought I'd blurted out how I felt at least five times."
"I thought I was only imaging things, because I wanted it so much," Remus answered. "How on earth could the rich, gorgeous, and stunning Sirius Black, love the poor, scarred and ugly werewolf Remus Lupin?" Remus said and finally admitted out loud what he'd thought for so long. Then he realised that he'd used the word love not just like and stared at Sirius, frightened at his response.
"Love," Sirius said, surprised. "You love me? Since when?"
"Since after our fifth year when you all guys finally managed to become Animagi and then just...something happened and I started to love you," Remus said and decided they were past the lying phase. He looked away, didn't want to see Sirius's look.
Sirius took Remus's face between his hands and forced him to look at him. "You, Remus Lupin, are the stupidest smart person that I know. You're beautiful in every single way, both on the inside and out and I don't want to hear you call yourself ugly ever again. It's also sort of funny that was exactly the same time I started to love you."
"Love me???" Remus asked, puzzled.
"He loves me," Remus thought.
"He loves me," Sirius thought.
"I'm going to tell him," they both thought at the same time.
Sirius went first. He looked deep into Remus's eyes and said, "I love you Remus John Lupin. This morning I was dreaming about a white Christmas but I never thought this dream of mine would come true come night time."
Remus answered, "I love you Sirius Black. Dreams can come true if you want it badly enough."
Remus had just managed to finish saying that when Sirius stood up and gave Remus his hand. Remus took it and Sirius pulled him out of the couch and started leading him towards the bedroom.
"Hey, hey, wow easy," Remus said nervously. "I've never...well...you know."
"My neither," Sirius admitted. "My reputation at school was largely exaggerated. I don't even know if I'm well endowed compared to other blokes. Let's just take it slow then. But as soon as you're ready for more, then I've got an excellent idea for a game, involving a certain punishment that you were talking about today."
Remus blushed scarlet and admitted, "the idea about the... punishment today made me...ehhh... excited and this punishment was the first thing that came to my mind. But if you're willing when the time comes, then so am I."
Sirius pulled lightly at Remus's hand and Remus started moving again, they went into the bedroom and closed the door.
Afterwards, they lay sweating and out of breath in bed. They looked at each other and you could see the love shining from their eyes.
"Remus?" Sirius asked.
"Yes."
"What do you say about moving in with me, into the house I inherited from Uncle Alphard next spring? I KNOW..." he interrupted when Remus opened his mouth, "I know it's sudden but I really wanna live in it, I don't want Uncle Alphard's house to decay. But I don't want to live there alone."
"I was just going to say..." Remus said, insulted, "...that I would love to move in with you. It's about time I moved out from my parents'. But don't you think it's getting rather cold in here?"
"Yes, it is getting cold, but it was fine in here this morning and the temperature was supposed to go up, at least that's what the weatherman said." Sirius stood up and wrapped a sheet around his waist and walked to the window, pulling the curtains out of the way. Then he just stood there staring, amazed at the outside. Remus became so curious that he pulled off his covers, got out of bed, pulled on his boxers and walked up to Sirius where he still stood by the window with his mouth half open. He wrapped his hands around Sirius's waist, put his chin on his shoulder and looked out.
What Sirius and Remus saw through the window was a silent and slow Christmas snowfall.
"It looks like our dream about a white Christmas has come true too," Remus whispered into Sirius ear.
"It's midnight, Remus," Sirius whispered back and turned towards Remus.
"Merry Christmas, my wolf.*"
"Merry Christmas, my star,*" Remus answered.
They kissed, standing beside the window with the Christmas snow falling. A perfect blanket of snow transfigured the scene; their dream about a white Christmas had come true.
The End
*Morgana was a witch and Arthur's half sister in the legend. She and Merlin were enemies. She was evil and was constantly trying to overthrow Arthur.
*Harley Davidson FLH 1969 módel
* Remus also likes to have a white Christmas, I didn't say but he'd been dreaming about it.
*I don't think I need to explain the wolf and star phrases they use at the end. But if I do just ask me to when you review ;)