A/N: Sorry to the readers of my other stories but this one has been in my head for a long time and i thought i might as well get all my ideas out there so im free to work on them all. As for what this story is going to be... Each chapter is going to be a "snapshot" of Natsuki and Shizuru's lives. A LOT is going to be vauge, and usually if a question is not answered in a chapter (such as one in this one) it wont be answered, sorry but thats part of how this is going to go. The jumps between chapters can be anywhere from a day to years. Unlike my other stories this one is pretty much completely planned out. Anyways tell me what you think, and NO not all of my chapters will be angst...Jeez who do you think i am...
ssjx7squall
Also please check out the poll on my profile, i do need answers
"Are you sure you still want to come? You sound tired?" a concerned Natsuki asked.
"Of course! After all it's been so long since I last got to see my Natsuki." came Shizuru's cheerful voice over the phone.
And whose fault is that? Natsuki thought bitterly. "You sure?"
"Ara, I'm beginning to think that Natsuki doesn't want to see me."
Natsuki winced. "No! That's not it, you just sounded tired and- ug!" she stopped when she heard Shizuru giggling. "I really wish you wouldn't do that!"
Shizuru giggled a while longer before answering. "Forgive me Natsuki, but I couldn't help myself."
Sure you couldn't. Natsuki growled to herself. "Whatever. Well I'll be over in about an hour then."
"I can't wait." Was the other's reply.
Sighing Natsuki closed her phone with a snap. Turning her back to the wall she was facing she leaned against it sliding down a few inches. Looking at her phone she drifted off into thought. How long has it been? A few months? Well, she has been avoi- No. I've been avoiding her too. All those times she called and wanted to get lunch and I always said I was busy knowing I wasn't.
Sliding all the way down to the floor she grunted when her bottom made contact with the hard tile. It wouldn't bug me if I just knew why. Why am I avoiding her? I want to see her so bad but… What? Burying her head in her hands she began to shake it from side to side in frustration. Gah! This wouldn't bug me so damn much if I only knew why.
Raising her head she brought it back against the wall with an audible thump. She was avoiding me for the first month or two, but after that it's been all me. She began lightly banging the back of her against the wall. Why have I pushed her away so damn much? This is ridiculous! I have wanted to see her so many times but never went to see her or accepted her invitations and now that Mai is doin' this damn Hime party thing, and this is the one time Shizuru is tired. I always make her force her self in one way or another. Letting out a loud breath of air she dropped her head. "I'm such a shitty friend." She said the empty apartment. I really have missed her though.
Shizuru fell back onto the couch as her phone call with Natsuki ended. Smiling down at the phone in her hand she idly stroked its side with her thumb. She was so excited. After so many months she would finally be able to see her Natsuki again!
She frowned slightly as she remembered the past few months without her blue haired friend. After she had graduated Shizuru immediately attempted to break her ties from Natsuki for her friend's sake. Memories and nightmares of the events that happened during the Festival still haunted Shizuru. No matter how many times Natsuki said that she was forgiven and that it didn't matter, Shizuru still felt guilty. Every time she looked into Natsuki's eyes or hugged the girl, the memories would bubble to the surface and she would recoil from her friend. She could not count the times she cried her self to sleep, begging forgiveness from her dark bedroom for her actions.
It wasn't what she had done to First District, no. She would burn the world if it meant keeping Natsuki safe. It was what she had done to her that constantly tormented her. Lying awake in bed at night she would toss and turn, constantly being taunted by her subconscious about how she had betrayed her friends trust.
It was for these reasons that she attempted to create a barrier between her and Natsuki. She had expected it to be hard for her but what she hadn't expected was the resistance from Natsuki.
Every time she managed to put a little bit of distance between them, Natsuki would immediately close it and Shizuru found her self to weak to stop her. This isn't to say that they grew much closer than they already were but for the first time in a while they were actually comfortable around each other.
For the time in between the school years they spent a wonderful amount of time together until that night.
Shizuru shook her head banishing her thoughts. Returning her gaze to her phone she saw that she only had thirty minutes until Natsuki would arrive. Less in fact if Natsuki's habits hadn't changed at all. The blue haired girl always had a habit of showing up early.
Smiling again Shizuru stood, and only then realized just how tired she really was. All her exhaustion from the past few days seemed to finally be catching up with her. On top of having to attend all the student council meetings at her university, she also had to deal with all the paper work involved as well as her homework from her classes. Usually this wouldn't have been a problem but it was nearing the end of the semester and finals were coming up so she had to spend that much more time studying leaving very little room in her schedule for sleep.
Her excitement at seeing Natsuki had kept her from feeling the full affects of her fatigue but now it seemed to be settling in. Holding on to objects in her path she slowly made her way to her bedroom to get ready.
"Oh shut the hell up Nao!" Natsuki yelled stepping out of the dressing room. She had just butchered some annoying pop song and Nao hadn't stopped laughing since she first began. Well, it probably wasn't her singing that got the annoying red head laughing so much as the really girly frilly outfit Natsuki got stuck wearing while she sang the song.
"Oh, this is just too great!" Nao said slapping her knee. Wiping a tear away from her eye she was still chuckling. "Who knew that Kuga could look so much like a little girl?" She started laughing again when she saw the expression on Natsuki's face.
"Why you bit-"
"Nao!" Mai said loudly, cutting Natsuki off. "It's your turn."
All the color drained from Nao's face. "No way!"
"Ha!" Natsuki said as Mai began pushing a screaming Nao into the dressing room.
"I thought Natsuki sang very well." Shizuru said as Natsuki plopped down next to her on the couch.
Natsuki merely grumbled. "I hate karaoke." Crossing her arms she leaned back into the seat, not noticing that her and Shizuru's shoulders were touching. "I'm just glad that Mai doesn't pull these "Hime Parties" more often."
"Ara, but if she didn't I wouldn't get to see my Natsuki then." Shizuru said nudging her arm. Natsuki began to splutter in protest. "Besides, you look so cute wearing dresses."
This time Natsuki's face lit up in a bright red. "Ba-Baka!" Turning her head away from Shizuru she began to pout.
Said girl merely covered her mouth with one hand as she giggled quietly. Ara, I've missed seeing her blush so much. Her giggling slowed and a sad expression grew on her face, her eyes looking far off into the distance.
Mai caught this and questioned her about it. "Kaichou-sama? Is something wrong?"
Natsuki's head snapped back to look at Shizuru, worry evident on her face.
Shizuru looked up at Mai slightly surprised before quickly covering it up with a smile. Waving one hand she said, "Ara, nothing Mai-san. And how many times to I have to tell you I am no longer the Kaichou?"
"Hai!" Mai said before returning her attention to the now singing and blushing Nao.
"You sure you're ok?" Shizuru looked to her left to see a concerned Natsuki. "I know you're tired, do you need to go?"
There are many times where Shizuru finds it impossible to not tease Natsuki, especially when the girl's sweet side presents itself, but every so often she finds the will to restrain herself. "I'm quite alright. Yes I am a little tired but not enough to go home, besides I want to spend more time with my Natsuki." To emphasize this she nudged her again.
Natsuki didn't look so convinced. "You sure?"
Shizuru turned to her. Natsuki was shocked by what she saw in her eyes. The playfulness that was in them just moments ago was gone and was replaced by… pleading. "Please Natsuki. I would like to stay a bit longer." Gripping the younger girls arm in calm desperation, the great Shizuru Fujino was indeed pleading.
"O-ok…" Natsuki stuttered. The only times she had ever seen Shizuru's eyes like that before were when Natsuki would catch her crying and Shizuru would apologize for everything she had done. Damn it! What did I do? Shaking her head Natsuki was now berating her self for hurting her friend. I wish I knew what I could do for her.
Not realizing it she placed her hand on Shizuru's and gripped it tightly. Shizuru's eyes widened in surprise. Natsuki? Looking at her friend she saw that her attention was now on Nao, but her hand hadn't moved. And the expression on her face wasn't that of humor like it usually was when the red head sang, but that of anger and a but of…. What was it? Pain. Shizuru concluded. Why Natsuki? Why are you hurting now, is it because of me?
The party progressed and after a while everyone had sung except for Shizuru oddly enough who managed to avoid the stage and dressing room. A few like Midori and Youko were quite drunk by the time they made it to their third round of singing.
It was while a very loud and off key Midori was singing that Natsuki felt a sudden weight on her right shoulder. Looking down she saw the top of her friends head. "Shizuru?" Leaning forward a bit she saw that the Kaichou's eyes were closed. Somehow, despite all the noise she fell asleep. Natsuki shook her head. "See? You were tired, you shouldn't have come."
Leaning back she sighed. You always force your self for me. I still don't know why you want to be around me so bad. Looking down she saw that Shizuru's hand still gripped her arm, and that her hand was covering the others. Her eyes widened in surprise. When did that get there? Suddenly very conscious of her hand and the close contact between her and Shizuru, Natsuki gulped.
Before she knew what she was doing her thumb began stroking the side of Shizuru's hand. Her hand is so soft- wait! What am I doing? Shaking her head Natsuki withdrew her hand.
This is ridiculous. I want to touch her but I still pull back. Why the hell am I so screwed up? Her face showing grim determination Natsuki nodded to her self before stiffly moving her arm. Her arm was now wrapped around Shizuru going across her back and wrapping around her waist.
Natsuki felt a sudden warmth spread throughout her chest as she pulled the sleeping Kaichou closer to her. That wasn't so ba- Looking up she caught Mai staring at her, mouth agape. "What are you looking at!?" she quietly barked.
Mai blinked a few times before shaking her head. "No-Nothing!" Returning her gaze to the stage she giggled slightly.
Natsuki merely growled and settled back in the seat, enjoying the contact between her and Shizuru. "Nat-su-ki…"
Looking down at the sleeping girl Natsuki smiled. Raising her other hand she began to brush a few hairs out of the Shizuru's face. You are so beautiful. I wonder why I never realized it before. I owe you so much Shizuru.
"Oi Kuga!" Nao's loud voice brought her out of her thoughts. "It's your turn."
"I can't." Natsuki simply said not taking her eyes off Shizuru.
"Oh no you don't, I had to go up three times and so do you!" Nao said. "Don't think that just because she's sleeping on you that you can get awa-"
"Nao why don't you go again?" Mai interrupted. "Natsuki can just sing an extra time next time."
Natsuki gave an appreciative look to Mai who just smiled in return. Nao just sat there with her mouth hanging open. "No- No way! Come on Kug-"
"Oh come on Nao-chaaaaan" A very drunk Midori said hugging the red head. "Let's sing a duet!"
Everyone began laughing as Midori shoved Nao into the dressing room and followed shortly after. Everyone except for three people. Nao was cursing everyone as she slowly got changed while Shizuru was sleeping. Natsuki was to busy gazing upon Shizuru's sleeping face to care about much else.
Natsuki grunted slightly as she laid a sleeping Shizuru in the backseat of Mai's car.
"She was really tired wasn't she?" the red head said looking into the back seat.
"Yeah, she's been pushing herself really hard in school this semester." Natsuki said, brushing some hairs out of the sleeping Kaichou's face.
"I thought you guys hadn't been talking…" Mai said as Natsuki got into the car.
Quietly closing the door Natsuki sighed. "We've been talking, but just over the phone. It's been a few months since we last saw each other."
Starting the car, Mai slowly pulled out of the dark parking lot. "I think she really wanted to see you tonight."
Glancing into the backseat Natsuki sighed. "Yeah. Even knowing how tired she was she still came out."
"I heard she is pretty high up on the student council at the university already. That's pretty good for a freshman."
"Yeah…" Natsuki smiled contently. "She really is amazing isn't she?"
Mai glanced over at her friend. She had never seen her like this before, so calm and peaceful. Or… She really didn't know how to explain it, but it had to do with the way Natsuki talked about the Kaichou. Her voice took on a softer tone and her eyes changed completely.
"But I guess even she gets tired." Pulled from her thoughts Mai watched as Natsuki reached into the back seat to brush aside more of Shizuru's hair.
"Yeah… You know, I could have rescheduled this party…"
"No, it's fine. I have a feeling this would have happened eventually anyways."
Mai glanced back over at Natsuki. "What would have happened?"
Natsuki shook her head. She would have pushed her self too far for me. "Nothing…"
Mai's breaks screeched a bit as she came to a stop in front of the Fuka University dorms. Getting out of the car Natsuki said, "You should get those checked Mai."
"Oh shut up, we don't all have money you know!"
Chuckling slightly Natsuki picked up Shizuru. "I'll be right back."
"Yeah yeah." Mai said before turning on the radio.
Kicking the door closed Natsuki made her way to Shizuru's dorm. "You just had to live on the second floor didn't you?" Natsuki said accusingly as she started up the stairs. Shizuru merely mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep, burying her head deeper into Natsuki's chest.
With great difficulty Natsuki managed to get them into Shizuru's dorm. Upon entering she smiled. While she had always known where her friend's dorm was (she had made many trips there) she had never been inside it.
Shizuru's dorm was just like her old apartment, spotless. Everything had its place, books alphabetized on shelves, clean carpets, nothing on the floor. It was about as opposite from her own apartment as you could get.
She inhaled deeply. It smelled like Shizuru, that and green tea. Always knew she was addicted, she thought smirking. And she always got on me for my mayonnaise.
Shizuru stirring pulled her from her thoughts. "Let's get you to bed." She said looking down at the sleeping girl in her arms.
After a few minutes of searching she found the bedroom, she was shocked by what she saw. By the closet there was a chair that must have had six to eight different outfits carelessly thrown on it. That's not like her… Don't tell me she… Oh Shizuru I'm sorry.
Making her way to the bed she laid Shizuru down on it. Making sure that she was covered Natsuki sat down next to her. Brushing the girl's hair she smiled sadly. "I promise Shizuru from now on things will be different."
She was about to get up when something caught her eye. On the nightstand next to the bed was a picture of them. Smiling she picked it up, unconsciously stroking the edges of the frame as she allowed the memories the picture brought wash over her.
After a few minutes she set the picture down then glanced over at Shizuru. "I promise…" Turning around she began to leave the room before a voice stopped her.
"Natsuki!"
"Shizuru?" Turning around Natsuki quickly made her way back to the bed. "Shizuru what's wrong?"
She was surprised to find that Shizuru was still asleep but she was now trashing about.
"Natsuki! I'm so sorry!"
She sounds like she's crying. A pain lanced out from Natsuki's chest every time she heard her friend apologize. No more. Please don't cry anymore.
Lying down next to Shizuru, Natsuki pulled her into a tight hug. "Shhh. It's ok Shizuru. It's ok."
The contact seemed to calm the other girl a bit but she was still crying in her sleep. "I'm so sorry Natsuki. Please don't go!"
Natsuki winced. There's no way I'm leaving her again. "Shh Shizuru, I'm not going anywhere. Shh…"
Her phone started to vibrate in her pocket. Of all the damn times…
"Hi Mai, listen just go on without me, I'll pick up my bike tomorrow"
"What's wrong Natsuki?"
"Nothing, just go, it's alright."
Closing her phone she slipped it back into her pocket then returned her attention to Shizuru. Holding her close she began to stroke her hair. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere Shizuru."
All I do is hurt you when you do so much for me. Tears were starting to form in her eyes. She tightened her hug on Shizuru. I care about you so much you baka, I just don't get why you care so much about me.
A/N: I am going to stop saying that chapters arent turning out the way i originally intended because thats pretty much every chapter. I have to apologize for the last part of this chapter i realize it is bad but i needed it written and we all know dialouge is NOT my strength. Well i hope you enjoyed this chapter let me know what you think.