For: numba3 on DeviantART! This is to go with her picture A Kiss under the Hat. Check it out!
Ferb was getting a little tired of being ignored by the one girl he had a "crush" on. Sure, she was 20, and he was just 13, but hey, he's known her for years. Being the lady killer Ferb was, he could've had any chiquita he wanted, but Vanessa Doofenshmirtz was the only girl to ever get his mind off of Phineas. In an unfair sort of way, Vanessa was his getaway to ignore Phineas. You see Ferb was in love with his step-brother. It was stupid, yes, but Vanessa seemed fine to be the shoulder he leaned on. Johnny didn't mind Ferb coming over often, so he had an all-access pass to their apartment. So when Ferb had the idea to buy a hat and some mistletoe to pick up a girl so he wouldn't be lonely on Christmas Eve, he didn't expect it to attract the one person he wanted to get over.
"Good morning, Ferbooch…" A 19 year old Candace called as she made her way to the fridge. Ferb, being the only other one up so early on Christmas Eve morning, said a very nice "hello!" back. He'd turned off the alarm Phineas had set for oh-so-many years, so Ferb could fix his special hat and not have Phineas question immediately. It didn't make sense, but shut up.
Candace sat down at the table and placed a plate of scrambled eggs, buttered toast, and bacon on Ferb's left side and started eating hers. She didn't question what the little runt was doing, mainly because it was too early for her liking, and he seemed to be too focused to hear her even if she did ask.
As Ferb set the final touches on the hat, he picked it up and held it to the light to see how it feigned. The purple-ish grey felt seemed to match his jacket just right, and the yellow strips of silky strings wrapped around it nicely. He glanced at the mistletoe he'd sewn on the middle at the top. It was centered perfectly.
"Superb…" He whispered before setting it down to his far right. When he turned, he didn't expect to see the breakfast Candace had made him. He looked at it quizzically before pointing to it, then himself.
"Yes, I made it for you. Now eat up. It's cooled off a little while you were working on…" Candace spared a glance at the atrocious monstrosity he called a "festive hat" and turned back to Ferb, "…whatever kind of hat that's supposed to be."
"It's supposed to help me find someone for the holidays…" He stated quietly and began eating. Candace sighed and put her fork down.
"You know you never get over your first love, Ferb… Phineas is no exception to that rule…" Candace was the only one to know about his love for Phineas. Their parents knew they were gay, but they can't know about this unreciprocated love. It'd be a disaster of silence and stares.
It was Ferb's turn to sigh. "I know, Candace… I just hope if I do pick up a girl, that she won't mind that I just want someone to hang out with."
"Ferb?"
"Yes?"
"That makes no sense whatsoever. You're GAY, kid. Why would you pick up a GIRL?"
"…. I… I don't even know…" Ferb honestly didn't. It just seemed like there weren't any gay kids around town other than Phineas and him, so he never really bothered asking out boys.
"Well, as long as you have someone for the holidays, I guess I could care less… Just- make sure you're happy with them, alright? Don't lead them on, either. I don't want a stalker around here…" To Ferb, this was his sister's way of saying 'I love you, and I don't want anyone sad or hurt. Be careful, Ferb'.
When Ferb was finally finished with breakfast, he left to test out his new hat. He didn't get far before Phineas was right behind him, short of breath.
'He was probably rushing to put things on and catch up to me.' Ferb thought to himself.
"Hey Ferb, cool hat!" Phineas said cheerily. He was the second one to notice the weird thing. Their parents chose to ignore the boys' antics with the hat.
"Thanks, Phin." Ferb set out once again with Phineas hot on his heels. They'd only gotten to the end of their driveway before the Fireside girls were standing across from them.
"Hey Ferb. Hey Phineas~!" Isabella called. None of them seemed to notice Ferb's strange hat. Except for Gretchen, that is. His own personal stalker that never really hung out with them.
"Hey Ferb, I like your hat. Pick anyone up yet?" She flirted shamelessly. She was like Isabella with Phineas. It disturbed and annoyed Ferb to no end.
"Actually Gretchen, I-" Ferb cut himself short. He really didn't want her to pick him up, but he didn't want to crush her feelings into dust and have her hate him. Phineas turned to Ferb.
"Ferb! I hadn't noticed your mistletoe earlier! How could I have missed it?" Ferb turned to Phineas out of confusion. He'd missed the sentence entirely.
"Wha…?" Ferb trailed of when he noticed Phineas blushing and bug-eyed. He gave the same questioning look until Phineas pointed to his hat. Ferb looked up and realized the mistletoe was above them. He'd remembered he'd put it up there for a reason, and he wasn't going to miss out on this opportunity. No way in hell.
"Oh." Phineas just chuckled and pulled on the ends of Ferb's yellow scarf. Ferb's lips were on his in seconds. The Fireside girls- with the exception of Adyson- either all gasped, went wide-eyed, or fainted.
After they pulled away from each other- only about an inch or two of space was left-, Phineas smiled and kissed him once more.
Later that afternoon, Ferb went too Vanessa's and slipped a note under the door. He walked back to Phineas who was waiting at the bottom of the steps and took his hand.
"Let's roll, chico." Ferb whispered in his ear. Phineas giggled and they headed for home.
"So," Phineas started. "should we tell mom and dad tonight?" Ferb thought for a second before nodding. It was only fair. They swung their connected hands back and forth until they reached home. Ferb opened the door and Candace smiled when she saw their hands. When Ferb looked into her eyes, all he could think was that everything would turn out fine.