Santana knew she was being watched, she knew and she didn't like it but she couldn't stop the therapist from watching her closely from her spot on the pristine leather chair.

"Santana, are we going to keep this silent act going or are you actually going to speak?"

She cringed as the nasally voice of the therapist sounded out and clenches her jaw before closing her eyes and looking down at her lap.

"What exactly do you want to hear?"

The therapists eyebrows rose to her hairline as the latina spoke her first words after their 12 sessions together.

"Whatever you want to tell me."

With a slight gulp, Santana opened her eyes and looked at the therapist with vacant eyes.

"What do you want me to say? That I'm sad? Everyone is sad. That I'm depressed because my life is shitty? Everyone feels that way at one point. That I'm not always the happy and carefree girl I once was? I'm not. I don't know what happened so don't ask. I just got more and more depressed as the days went on and now it's hard to smile."

Her eyes showed no emotion as she leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees and spoke with a new found conviction.

"But the worst part of all this? I can be happy, I can be really happy. On certain days I forget everything bad in the world and I laugh, and smile and I'm the total opposite of the depressed girl I can be. I have no idea how this can be...but I'll tell you this. I hate it. I hate myself because of it. I don't want to be fucked up like this!"

The therapist quietly leaned back and folded her hands in her lap as the livid girl stood up and started pacing in front of the couch.

"I want only one mood and I don't want to be so damn bipolar about it! I want to be happy and not be afraid of what I might do or say. I want to be one of those people that people want to befriend, I want to not be such...such a fuckup!"

Santana looked at the therapist and glared before clenching her fists.

"But being in a therapists office twice a week won't do a DAMN thing to help my situation so leave me alone!"

The therapist stood up silently and picked up the phone before dialing and smiling when the person on the other end picked up.

"Mrs. Lopez? Yes, she finally spoke."

~ Well that's the end of that...very therapeutic for me. ~