Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, don't sue me.
A/N: Hey guys. So this is a one shot LP fic, set after the 100th episode. I'm ignoring the whole Jamie fiasco, choosing instead to just focus on our favourite couple. Hope you like it.
Lucas kept his head down, dropping the basketball periodically between his legs and letting it bounce back into his waiting hands. He sat alone by the River court, only a sole lamppost keeping the darkness at bay. He glanced at his watch – one o'clock in the morning. Not exactly the best time to be out shooting some hoops – not that he was actually attempting to. He just had to get out of the house, away from all the sympathetic eyes that had followed him for the past few hours. His jacket was thrust down on the bench beside him, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He hadn't even considered changing after the wedding…or lack thereof. He bounced the ball again.
He heard the footsteps approaching but didn't bother to look up. It was probably Nathan – or Andy maybe. He didn't really care. The truth was he didn't want to talk to anybody. He didn't want to try to articulate what he was feeling, how could he possibly do that? The footsteps stopped a few metres in front of him, and it was the hesitation he sensed that made him finally look up. He frowned slightly, squeezing the ball unconsciously. "Peyton?"
"Hey." She replied, somewhat self consciously. "I – uh…" She paused. "I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now, Luke…I just…" She broke off, eyeing him warily, before taking a breath to steady herself. "I just want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm here." She finally let out, relieved that the words had eventually tumbled out.
"You came here at one in the morning to tell me that?" Lucas said, shocked at how short he was being with her. Why was he suddenly feeling angry? She seemed to be thinking the same thing, but when she spoke she kept her voice soft, gentle almost.
"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go for a walk. I saw you sitting here about ten minutes ago, and I was debating whether or not to come up to you." She looked away, actively avoiding making eye contact with him. "I am sorry, Luke." She said sincerely, meeting his gaze again. "I can't even imagine how you feel right n--"
"No you can't." He snapped, interrupting her. She gazed at him for a long moment, trying to discern whether or not she should speak. Whether or not he would even listen.
"I'm going to go." She said finally, her apprehension getting the best of her. As she turned around he spoke, stopping her abruptly.
"It was you, Peyton." He let out. She turned to look at him, confusion evident on her face. "She left because of you."
And Peyton understood. He didn't mean that he had made a mistake, that it was always her that he had wanted. It was nothing as trivial as that. "You're blaming me for this?" She asked, somewhat disbelievingly. He didn't reply, instead letting his gaze drop and bouncing the ball one more time. Peyton snapped, no longer wary of sidestepping his grief. She stormed forward and grabbed the ball, before throwing it into the darkness. The sound of it bouncing away was the only thing she could hear, except for her own deep breaths. She turned, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You can't blame me for this."
"I said--" He started, before she cut him off.
"I stepped aside, I let my own heart shred itself apart…" Her voice broke, but she continued. "I forced myself to forget everything so that I could let you be happy. So you could marry someone else. And you're blaming me?" She was incredulous as she turned around to avoid letting him see her tears. She brushed them aside, trying to catch her breath.
"You think I wanted things to turn out like this?" Lucas asked, his tone softening. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn't want you to get hurt, or Lindsay. I was just trying…" He paused, unable to find the words. He let out a groan of frustration, getting to his feet and walking forward a few metres. He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell…he wanted to do anything other than be here feeling like this. "I was trying to be the good guy." He finally let out, ashamed when she turned again to look at him. "I didn't want to be the great guy who turns out to be not so great when his ex shows up in town."
"I don't know what you're saying, Lucas." Peyton said honestly, still slightly perturbed by his insinuation that she was responsible for his pain.
"Neither do I!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. "I know what I should be feeling, what everyone else expects that I should be feeling." He paused. "And I do feel those things…but the only feeling that seems to matter, under all the guilt and pain and confusion…is the tiniest bit of relief." He broke off defeated, and let himself collapse back onto the bench. He forced himself not to look at her, unsure of what he would see in those appraising green eyes.
Peyton let out a slow breath, following him with her gaze. After a long moment she sat beside him, making sure to leave a large space between them. "You said 'I do', Luke." She whispered, keeping her gaze fixed on her hands.
"I know." He replied softly. "And I did…I loved her, Peyton. I would have stayed with her forever." He hesitated. "It's just…"
"What?" She urged him on, turning her head to look at him.
"She loved me and she encouraged me…she believed in me." He was still avoiding her gaze as he spoke, "But the truth is she didn't challenge me. Or infuriate me…or inspire me." He broke off, finally looking up at her. Peyton was taken aback by the fiery gaze he set upon her, defiant…and honest. "She wasn't you, Peyton."
She looked away abruptly. It was everything she had wanted him to say, but suddenly she felt unsure. He had just been abandoned, he was lost and confused and hurt. How could she believe any of it? "Luke, I--"
"I know, Peyton." He said softly, his tone understanding. "I know it's too soon and it feels like I'm not thinking clearly…" He almost smiled at the realization. "But I haven't felt like this in a long time." He reached over and pulled his jacket onto his lap, picking up the manuscript that had been lying beneath it. He fingered it gently for a second, before holding it out to her. She hesitated before accepting, slightly confused. "It's my second novel." He explained. "I had no idea what it meant…but Lindsay did. I was blind before but I see it now, I don't know how I missed it." He stopped for a moment, smiling slightly. "You're my comet."
She looked at him, frowning as she smirked, "What?"
"You'll see." He said, getting to his feet. He strung his jacket over his arm as he started walking backwards, away from her. "And about you and I…"
"It needs time, Luke." Peyton said gently, and was surprised when she felt the beginnings of a smile forming on her lips. For the first time in a long time she felt that hoping wasn't such a bad thing.
"I know." He replied. "But maybe one day…"
"No." She cut him off, before smiling gently. "Someday." She added. He returned her smile, nodding as he caught on to the significance of the word.
"Someday." He agreed, before turning and heading home, the smile still playing on his lips.
And he felt, this time with positive certainty, that the prospect of 'someday' was more than enough.
A/N: So it was short, I know. And slightly unrealistic – I know that too. But I'm going out of my mind watching the show right now, so I had a little fun. Again, I hope you enjoyed it. Leave me some reviews to let me know what you thought, they'd be much appreciated.