This is something that my perverted mind came up with, so if you don't like it don't read. And certainly no flaming! Rated M for language and later chapters. I have everything typed up already, so there shouldn't be any long gaps like there have been with previous fics…*cough* I'll stop talking now XD

Okay. This is more than weird. There's a guy molesting a chocolate bar with his mouth in my dorm. Just ignore him and dump your stuff –

"Quit tongue-raping the chocolate!"

I tell you, if looks could kill I would be dead right now. But they can't, phew. The guy gets up lazily with a creak of leather and –

Leather? Leather vest top way too short and really tight leather trousers. And when I say tight, I mean –

SMACK! He hit me! He slapped me in the face!

"I'll tongue-rape whatever I want, thank you."

Wait, is he…? He Is! He's eye raping me now!

"Just coz you're jealous…"

Jealous? Of being tongue raped?

"Fuck you!"

"Maybe I will…"

He takes a step forward and starts with the eye raping again.

"Hate to burst your bubble, Blondie, but I aint homo."

I'm satisfied with that. Where was i…? Oh yes, unpacking.

BANG! There he goes again with the violence. Ah. There is literally no space between me and the wall. And him for that matter.

"What did you just call me?"

Whoa, someone needs to go to anger management.

"Blondie."

Way to go, Mattie. Piss off the guy you have to live with for the next year within the first hour!

Ack. Maybe he's just a vampire. Please stop biting me you –

"Ow!"

He pulls back with a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Call me Mello. Anything else will earn you a kick up the arse, got it?"

Does he get a kick out of molesting things or something?

"Sure thing babe!"

He sinks his teeth into the other side of my neck, harder this time. Shit! As my scream fades away, I turn into maniac mode.

"Get off me you bastard! I swear I'm gonna kill you after this! Get off you stupid little fucktard!"

The door opens halfway through my rant, so I look to it. Maybe someone can help me?

Well, that's weird. Two expressionless boys stand there.

"Mello should not let his temper get the better of him." The one with white hair states in monotone.

I get squashed between the wall and Mello even more than before. His body has gone rigid and I'm finding it hard to breathe. Why won't he get off of me?

EEK! Tongue. He's tongue-raping my neck!

"Fuck! I aint a bar of chocolate, you know! Go molest that instead!"

I'm not his chocolate! Why does he keep doing this? Think, what can I do?

Ahah! I jerk my knee upwards and shove him away. Retreat! Retreat!

Damn, he reacts fast. He punches me in the stomach and throws me face down on my bed. This isn't looking good –

WHOA! Leather straddling my arse isn't helping me, think happy thoughts…oh

He only wanted to whack me on the back of my head with a textbook. Ouch. It actually hurts.

I wriggle round so I'm on my back – with him straddling me (Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!).

I tear the book from his grasp and head-butt him. Ow! That's definitely going to hurt in the morning.

Before I can kick him off, he has me by the throat and is cutting off my windpipe…bastard. Why couldn't I kick his arse?

Owww! My head… my throat… my neck… I groan and open my eyes to see the black and white haired guys standing over me.

"He lives." The one with black hair states in monotone.

"You could have killed him, Mello." The white haired one also states in monotone.

What, are they twins or something?

Mello – I can see out of the corner of my eyes – is happily molesting his chocolate again.

"Deserved it though."

His cocky voice winds me up.

"Don't deny it Mello. You just wanted to straddle me, didn't you?" I croak out quietly

"What? I'm not homo, you freak!"

He's put his chocolate down and is preparing for another showdown.

"Could've fooled me…"

He launches off his bed at me, but the one with black hair – he's actually quite tall when he stands up straight – catches him mid-jump and carries him out of the door after saying "Near, I'm taking Mello somewhere to cool off. If that's okay with you?"

"Yes L."

Near? L? Mello? People have such strange names here.

"You shouldn't provoke him. Mello has trouble controlling his temper."

Hell, I'm gonna do it again. Even if it's just to see his reaction. He's so funny when he's angry.

be nice? :)