Sometimes when you're alone he stops screaming and seems so relaxed, like the anger is all a mask and his emotions come flooding out, sorrow, happiness, peace. Sometimes when no one else but you is in the room, they all let their masks down and allow the tears they have been holding back fall like raindrops, screaming out everything they have been holding in to not show any weakness that could possibly used against them. You know they don't care that you are there, because they think you are too far gone to realise, too stoned to see what is happening before your eyes. And you won't tell them otherwise because than you wouldn't be able to see these miracles dancing in front of your glazed orbs. Because doing so will be admitting your own weakness and you don't want to worry Karkat, he has too many things to worry about already without you adding to the growing pile.
You aren't in as deep of a drugged stupor as usual and it scares you even though you enjoy being able to notice more details, like that your number has diminished, and you wonder where those disappeared trolls have gone. It frightens you because you are running out of slime, you have had to start rationing it to make it last, and the voices are starting to come back, voices you have spent the majority of your life drowning out with mind rotting substances.
You don't like the voices, don't like what they are trying to tell you, what they want you to do. Even now you can hear the soft murmurs breaking through the sopor slime's influence and it frightens you because you don't want to do what they are demanding, you don't want to hurt anyone, you never wanted to hurt anyone, you just wanted to have friends and not hurt them, but a small part of you, one that keeps growing the more his high wears down, wants to listen, to kill all those motherfuckers that are lower than you, no matter that you care for them, hell you even harbour flushed feelings for one of them. You want everything to just keep going like it is, with no one getting hurt, without blood splattering the walls that surround you.
You are Gamzee Makara, you are nearly out of slime and you don't know what will happen when it is all gone. You don't want to know what will happen.
This was written under the prompt of 'Sometimes when you're alone...'. I was going to write some fluffy Gamzee/Karkat moirail stuff, but it turned into this. Bad Cloud, this is why you don't write in bad moods, bad stop picking on fictional people.