Hello people! Welcome, welcome! I am thrilled to present my very first fic about DGM but not to worry, I have written in other fandoms before so I know how this works. There might be some OOCness at first because I am really not used to these characters but I will try my best to make them act as authentically as possible.
That aside, this will be a Laven story. There are not enough of them. To tell you the truth, I have been a die hard Yullen (and Lucky) fan for years but recently I have come across a very nice Laven fic and it was like BANG! I fell for it, hard. So yeah, my world was turned around. Anyway, basically it will be in Lavi's POV.
Summary: Lavi's heart is far from dormant as he is slowly falling in love with Allen but instead of having the cute happy relationship he dreamed of, he is learning that nothing is easy in love. Allen does not care for him that way, at first, and he is even slightly attracted to Kanda. So in other words, Lavi is going to struggle with his newfound feelings and the pain of unrequited love. He will learn what it means to be human and to have emotions. It is going to be painful for him. Think of him as a toddler discovering life on his own and getting lost amidst all its chaos. So yes, there will be some Yullen but only a little, the main pairing is Laven even if it is a slowbuild, at first one-sided. They should get together by the end.
This fic will not be sugary sweet with lots of romance. And Lavi might seem OOC to some of you but I believe he can be pretty dark when he does not pretend to be happy-go-lucky. At times there will be drunk!Lavi, possessive!Lavi, jealous!Lavi as well. Never violent though, no dark!Lavi.
I think that is all. I hope you will enjoy this first journey of mine through DGM.
Disclaimer: not enough Laven moments in the original work to be mine.
Resurgence
Chapter 1
At night, the dark hallways of the Black Order were more frightening. Even though it was one of the most secure places in the world, no doubt about it, they really did not look inviting. Yet Lavi did not care. The young man had been wandering aimlessly for twenty minutes, taking a well-deserved break from all the work Bookman had given him. The old man had ordered him to read and translate ten books, each one bigger than the list of the Order's members, including the Finders and the whole staff. Five hours of reading, deciphering and copying later, the words had started to look like black dots on the pages, no longer making any sense. Lavi had decided to stop for a while and let his tired eye rest.
Spending so much time on an uncomfortable chair had had his muscles protesting at his sudden movements and they had begged him for some exercise. So Lavi had gone outside, hoping to find something to distract him. The red-haired had trouble remaining still for a long period of time. Being naturally energetic, he always ended up needing to stop whatever he was doing to clear his head. He could be seriously focused but sometimes, his concentration would waver. Even though he loved recording History more than anything else. Exploring its secrets, learning them and putting them down on paper for the next generations never ceased to fascinate him. His heart rate increased in the same way adrenaline made his blood boil when fighting akuma. Something he had recently noticed, now he actually enjoyed taking an active part in this war, Bookman had even showed his disapproval.
Today, the panda was blessedly away, meaning Lavi could take a break without being beaten for it. The young man exited the library, hoping to enjoy a quiet moment to himself. He first went to the cafeteria to get a drink then thought of training a little. He had not set foot in the training room in weeks but if he did any physical exercise now, he doubted he would be able to work afterwards. And with no sparring partner it would be boring anyway. In the end, he stopped at a crossing on the second floor, leaning against the railing overlooking the lounge downstairs, as dark as the rest of the building.
Few people wandered by. Most of them were asleep, some had been sent out on missions. The scientists of the night shift rarely came out of the laboratories. Lavi was truly alone and he was glad for this. This way, he could clear his mind of an urgent matter that had been begging for his attention for a while, but he had chosen to ignore it until now. However his problem was now seriously distracting: "Lavi" was becoming more and more real. All these years spent among the Black Order with everyone else, fighting the Earl and the Noah, talking and having fun and living had weakened him. Bookman had warned him, it was a mere coincidence that they were on the Order's side. This war was none of their business and the moment it was over, they would leave. Lavi had understood. He had planned on keeping his distance from these people. At nineteen years old he had seen more death and desolation than most of mankind and his disgust for his species had left him jaded. Obviously, he had not listened closely enough to his mentor's warning. In becoming an exorcist, not only had he personally taken part in this war, he no longer fought to survive but also to prevent the Earl from destroying mankind even though he had despised it for as long as he could remember, but he had also noticed that he truly liked spending time with the others. Whenever Krory was depressed, Lavi would try to cheer him up. When Lenalee was worried, he would comfort her. Making fun of Kanda had become a habit and his favourite hobby, despite the risk of losing his head. He did each of these common actions naturally. He enjoyed daily reminding them that he was there. The red-haired could no longer deny what these people had become: his family.
These changes had gradually appeared throughout the years but they had increased since the arrival of the person whom had just entered Lavi's sight downstairs, hiding among the sofas, like a scared mouse, checking no one was on their trail: Allen Walker.
However Lavi had only taken notice of his new way of thinking when Allen had disappeared. His death had hit the eye-patched exorcist harder than he had expected. All of a sudden there had been a suffocating pain inside his chest, burning his very core, preventing him from breathing normally. His soul had been torn apart, creating a resonating void in him where nothing was supposed to exist. This agony had terrified him, he had not understood what was happening to him but he had known it was because of Allen. That day, his heart had come to life. The first emotion the white-haired boy had taught him was despair.
The albino kid befuddled each person he came across, including Lavi. Even if he was used to keep his distance from the rest of the world, the red-haired had under-estimated the intensity of the innocence reflecting in those grey eyes. They cast a spell on you when you dared looking into them and they never let you go. Lavi felt a constant pull toward Allen, like a magnetic connection. The more time he spent with him, the harder it became to resist this attraction.
Ever since they had met, Lavi had changed. His smiles were now real and his desire to protect the people he called his friends authentic. He truly cared for the white-haired boy, which was the main problem. He could hear the old panda's voice in his head telling him what he already knew, Bookmen had no need for a heart, they did not feel anything. He was there strictly to record History, nothing else. The eye-patched exorcist knew that, he had applied that rule his whole life. Today however, he was breaking it for a boy with angelic features.
"Lavi" had appeared when he had learned he was to be an exorcist, Allen Walker had given him a reason to just be. "Lavi" was no longer a mere alias, he was a real person. All of this because of two silver eyes filled with so much sorrow and silently begging for help. The Bookman successor had not been able to resist their call. He was now a prisoner of his own affection, the same one blocking the path of his training. His aim to take over Bookman one day was slowly getting out of reach but despite this, Lavi could not bring himself to regret his decision. He had been raised and taught so he could record History and he liked it, but more than anything else, he longed to feel the sweet warmth enfolding him whenever Allen smiled at him, just one more time.
Bookman suspected something was off with his apprentice. He had probably noticed before the boy himself. Lavi did not want to disappoint him but it was getting harder and harder to pretend he did not feel any sort of companionship for the others. The euphoria taking over him when he talked with Allen would be the end of him. The young man knew how his situation would eventually evolve, even if he had never experienced it for himself.
Right now, he did not care. Lavi leaned over the railing, his palm holding up his chin, his eye locked onto the cursed boy downstairs, a genuine smile on his lips. He watched him in silence, laughing whenever Allen jumped at a noise in the shadows. The albino had probably escaped Link's vigilant watch, again. Timcampy was not even with him. The golem was most likely creating a diversion to allow its master some time to hide. The two must have come up with this plan at the last minute because Allen was wearing his casual clothes, those he kept to remain inside his room, and the Order's dressing gown. He had even swapped his heavy boots for a pair of light slippers.
-Walker! an angry voice boomed not too far from where he was standing.
The boy froze. Quietly, he tried to get to the exit, moving as silently as he could, almost on his hands and knees. Lavi's smile grew. Allen was a skilled warrior but he could not grasp the concept of stealth to save his life. The cat was slowly gaining on the mouse. Soon, it would be found. The show was quite funny but Lavi could not just stand by. The entertainment he had been looking for was right there and he could not have asked for anything better.
Meanwhile, Allen was cowering behind a sofa, hoping, praying that Link would overlook his hiding place. He had run away from his room just after the Inspector had fallen asleep, walking on tiptoes so as not to wake him, leaving Tim behind to buy him some time. Obviously, Link was a light sleeper. Allen knew that disappearing on his appointed supervisor would not look good on his record but he needed to be alone in peace and quiet, just for an hour or two. Unfortunately, his plan had failed. He could hear Link's footsteps coming closer. Furthermore, the teenager felt like he was being watched. He was not sure, it was so dark around him, it was impossible to tell if someone was standing there. Which was exactly why he did not dare leave his temporary sanctuary to find a better place to hide. He could not see anything, if he moved, he would probably bump into Link. So Allen accepted his fate and waited to be found and brought back to his room where he would most likely be admonished. The next second, he indeed got caught, but not exactly the way he had expected.
Before he had time to understand what was happening, he felt an arm circling his waist and a presence appearing behind him. Actually, it was above him. A single "shh" whispered in his ear was his only warning before being hoisted up in the air. He had to bit his lip not to scream in fear but a surprised gasp escaped him. A hand covered his mouth then, muting him for the time being. A few seconds later, his feet touched the ground again and his back was pressed flat against a solid chest, the arm still around his waist, pinning him into place without using too much strength. Actually, it felt more like a gentle embrace. His abductor had yet to reveal themselves but Allen knew he was in no danger. The warmth coming off them was soothing, their breath caressed his temple making this situation all the more strange. Allen was not fighting them, it was as if he had unconsciously recognized them and knew he was safe. Protected maybe. The grip on his waist was a little possessive too. A sweet smell invaded his nostrils. A distinctive mix of spices, old leather and ashes. He knew that mesmerizing and masculine scent: Lavi. The white-haired boy's body relaxed even further, leaning back against his friend's chest who then removed his hand from his mouth, adding his now free arm to the other one around his waist, fully hugging him.
-Walker! Link yelled once more.
Allen was surprised to hear that his voice sounded further away than the first time, as if he were somewhere below him. What had Lavi done this time?
-Looks like he's gone. The coast is clear, Lavi whispered right into the albino's ear, causing him to freeze in shock.
His friend's voice was warm and soothing. Allen just barely nodded, strictly against moving from his comfortable position, as if he were under a spell. He felt the other's chin dropping on his shoulder but the red-haired did not remove his arms from his waist. Allen flushed and his heartbeat quickened. The temperature had suddenly been raised.
-La... Lavi? he managed to stutter.
The older exorcist hummed and remained as he was.
-How did you know I was there?
-I saw you coming in, the young man whispered, creating a secret and cosy atmosphere, as if a bubble were around them. You looked lost and desperate. I just had to save you.
Lavi smiled, fully enjoying their current position.
-I didn't know you could fly, Allen murmured back, not wanting to disrupt the private aura, he was definitely too comfortable.
Lavi's smile evolved in a soft laughter, the vibrations in his chest echoing in the teenager's back.
-That's because I feel so light when I'm around you, Allen, the eye-patched boy breathed in his ear, rubbing his nose against his cheek. (Surprised, the albino turned his head so he could see his friend who winked cheekily at him, his smile fending his face in two.) I never go anywhere without Ĺzuchi Koduchi, in case there're moyashi in distress who need rescuing!
His smile widened even more, earning him a kick in the stomach. He let out a pained noise in exchange.
-My name is Allen, snapped the cursed boy, turning away from him.
A breathless laughter was his only answer. He tried to move away but the hold on his waist increased, forcing him back against Lavi's chest, even closer than before.
-Aww... Don't get mad. You know I like teasing you.
Once again, the red-haired's voice was no louder than a murmur, even if there was no one around, causing goosebumps to appear on Allen's skin.
-Lavi, you're acting weird today. More than usual. Is something wrong?
-Nothing. I'm just enjoying holding you close to me. It's been a while since I saw you.
To prove his point, the older teenager squeezed tighter. Now that Allen was here with him, he realised how much he had missed him. Between Bookman overloading him with work, probably on purpose to prevent him from hanging out with his friends, and Link following Allen everywhere he went, they had not seen each other in more than two weeks. It had been way too long on Lavi's part. Now that he had his friend back, he was going to make the most of it. However he could feel his control slipping. Lavi could not let go of the albino, it felt so good to have him pressed against him. He could get lost in his scent. He was getting dizzy.
-Hum... Well, thank you for helping me. I should go back to my room. Link will seriously get angry if I stall any longer. So, thank you again. (Allen tried to get away but was stopped once again. Lavi's arms did not budge. The older exorcist was restraining him, his grip like a vice.) Lavi, would you please let me go? Allen asked politely though he was starting to get annoyed.
-Never, the eye-patched boy answered instantly. I am never letting you go.
The albino gasped. His friend's voice had sounded so possessive, so full of determination, so solemn, as if he were taking a vow. His arms squeezed him even tighter if that was even possible. And yet, Allen could not bring himself to freak out. He felt safe there, albeit a bit too tight.
-Lavi? the white-haired boy whispered, taken aback.
Hearing his name called in such a soft and timid voice snapped Lavi out of his trance. Realising what he was doing, the red-haired reluctantly released his younger friend, hiding a disappointed sigh. It would not do if he scared him with his conduct. Allen stepped back, making Lavi immediately miss his warmth, and looked at him curiously.
-Ah! Sorry Allen! Got a little carried away there! the young man apologized, scratching the back of his head, an embarrassed smile on his lips, trying to hide the feeling of loss engulfing him, freezing everything inside him.
In truth, Lavi wanted to pull Allen back in his arms, hug him to his heart's content, drown in his presence and his sweet scent and his warmth, run his hand through his snowy hair, mark him as his. This last thought shook the eye-patched teen to the core. Where did that come from? He had never gone so far. Marking Allen as his? Possessing him? This was new and unexpected but the Bookman apprentice had to admit that the more he contemplated it, the more the idea appealed to him. Actually, it would not leave him alone and what scared him was how powerful his desire to act on it ran. Lavi was done for. He was losing control and fast. The more time he spent with Allen, the deeper he fell. This was not good.
-Lavi!
Allen's call broke his train of thoughts. The red-haired exorcist shook his head and met the concerned look of his friend.
-I'm fine. I just spaced out for a minute.
The cursed boy looked unconvinced. An awkward silence followed his words. Neither knew what to say to fill it.
-Well, I should go back. Link will have my head if I don't, Allen finally said, feeling slightly put out by Lavi's behaviour. Good night Lavi.
-Yeah... the eye-patched boy replied, suddenly feeling depressed. Night Allen, he managed to say, mustering all of his strength to paste a smile on his face so as not to worry his friend.
Watching the albino walk away from him was hard. Lavi had to restrain himself from running after him. Clenching his fists, he remained where he was long after Allen had disappeared from his sight. In his heart, where nothing was supposed to be, resonated a dull throbbing, making the void in him all that more painful. Lavi put a hand over his traitorous organ, as if that would lessen the ache but to no avail. He sighed and closed his eye. He was screwed.