Disclaimer - I don't own Naruto, he's a free person and owns himself. At least, that's what he likes to believe. Many fangirls like to believe that they own him. But the truth is some guy called Masashi Kishimoto (who?) owns him. Sad, right?
AN: This has been rolling around in my mind for awhile and I finally managed to find time to write it down. I'd say Gaara and Naruto are about nineteen in here though it doesn't really matter what their age is. No spoilers (except for Gaara's occupation after the time skip) or pairings.
Seeds of War
Sakura could barely believe it when she heard the news. Only Naruto would be able to start a war between two lands over something so insignificant.
The sound of running feet echoed through the hallway as a flustered ninja raced down the wooden floor, intent on reaching her destination as soon as possible. She spotted a door at the end of the long hallway and darted towards it. She banged open the door, causing several heads to turn in her direction as she entered but she ignored them, focusing instead on a single figure standing near the window.
"Temari-san!" she called out, shoving her way through a crowd of people clustered together in the room. She accidentally knocked one young man over but pushed on without pausing, leaving the poor boy to pick himself up. "Temari-san!" she cried again as she drew up before the Suna ninja, wiping her sweaty brow. "I've just heard the rumors on the street! Is it true?"
The kunoichi turned to look at her, eying her disheveled appearance. "Sakura," she greeted the pink-haired ninja. "Is what true? What rumors?"
"The rumors about the Tsuchikage declaring war on Konoha!"
Temari looked rather surprised. "The villagers know about that already?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm impressed. Apparently news circles fast here in Iwa."
"You mean it is true?" squawked Sakura, looking horrified.
Temari nodded, appearing strangely cheerful. "Yeah," she said, confirming the news Sakura had been praying was merely an overblown rumor. "It's all true. The Tsuchikage is furious. Konoha ANBU have literally been stalking your poor Hokage ever since it happened. If they don't follow him every second of the day, Iwa's ANBU are going to move in for the kill."
Sakura's suddenly narrowed her turquoise eyes in suspicion. "Naruto," she growled. "What did he do?"
Temari's green eyes twinkled as a grin crept onto her face. "What makes you think Naruto has something to do with it?" she inquired innocently. Too innocently, in Sakura's opinion.
"What did that blond airhead do!" Sakura demanded, her hands clenching into fists by her side.
"Do you really want to know?" asked Temari, seeming far too amused for her own good.
"Temari," said Sakura warningly.
"Alright, alright," laughed Temari, holding up her hands in a show of surrender. "No need to overreact, I'll tell you." She shook her head slowly, a smirk forming on her lips. "You see, Naruto kind of...did something in the meeting that...well," Temari chuckled, "something that didn't sit too well with the Tsuchikage."
"What did he do?" The pink-haired kunoichi scowled fiercely at the blond.
"Naruto accidentally spit a cherry seed that directly hit the Tsuchikage's nose while he was giving a speech."
...
...
"Excuse me?" asked Sakura in a low voice, her eyes slitted.
"Naruto hit the Tsuchikage's nose with a cherry seed," repeated Temari, her grin bright enough to outshine the sun.
There was a moment of precious silence.
"What?" Sakura screeched, fists closed so tightly her knuckles were turning white. Her shout echoed through the entire room. "Are you serious?" she continued, raving at the exhilarated Suna nin. "Are you freaking serious?"
"Quite serious," said Temari, looking like this was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
"You're telling me that Naruto just caused an international incident...because he hit the Tsuchikage's nose with a cherry seed?"
Temari nodded happily.
"I'll kill him!" screamed Sakura, turning and storming back the way she had come. The observing people cleared a path before her like the parting Red Sea. She raced out of the room, an enraged expression on her face and a murderous intent surrounding her.
Temari smiled as she leaned back against the glass of the floor to ceiling window. This Kage meeting was turning out to be the most eventful affair of the past couple of years. She was going to enjoy every single minute of the current drama.
After all, it wasn't Suna that was about to go to war over a cherry seed.
Naruto sighed as he tiredly rubbed the back of his neck, feeling grateful that he had two of his most trusted ANBU standing only a few feet away. Their menacing aura radiated through the entire room.
It made Naruto feel slightly safer, but the actual feeling of danger that was currently racing through his body did not quell entirely.
After all, he did have the Kage of the host village out for his head at this very moment.
Naruto winced as he thought about Sakura-chan and how she was going to react to all of this. The Rokudaime was hoping that this whole thing would be cleared up with little difficulty before his close friend got too riled up.
"The Tsuchikage is here, Hokage-sama," said a young girl, looking at the young Hokage rather reproachfully.
Then again, at the moment, it seemed highly doubtful that his dreams of a peaceful Kage meeting would come true.
The old Tsuchikage looked like he would willingly bring an axe to Naruto's neck himself and do the deed with great pleasure. He came stalking into the room with eight ANBU trotting behind him, each one of their blank masks trained on Naruto.
The Hokage felt like there was a bright target on his forehead.
Which he supposed there metaphorically was.
He glanced behind him anxiously, searching for the only comfort he could possibly receive during this confrontation.
Ah, there it was. Standing by the window with a single ANBU, looking rather bored by the proceedings of this Kage meeting.
Naruto jerked his head, silently asking for the physical support from his friend he wasn't sure he would receive.
Amazingly, the Kazekage moved immediately and came to stand by Naruto's side.
Feeling much better with the redhead beside him, Naruto turned back only to see the Tsuchikage glaring viciously at him. He gulped heavily and faltered in his resolve to straighten this situation out. He stepped back slightly, instinctively putting more space between himself and the old man.
"He looks like he wants to dash me onto sharp rocks until I shatter into a million pieces," he hissed at his friend.
"That's because you hit him with a cherry seed," the Kazekage reminded him unnecessarily.
"So?" whispered Naruto. "It was an accident."
Gaara sent him a dry look.
Naruto scowled at the redhead before turning to face the Tsuchikage, face instantly morphing into a strange cross between cheerful and apologetic. "Tsuchikage-sama!" he chirped, grinning his most friendly grin, all the while deep regret shining in his blue eyes. "It's good to see that you're still looking good...just the same as yesterday!"
Naruto could feel the hate exuding from the Iwa ninja increase tenfold. He sent a desperate plea for help to Gaara who returned it with a small and silent, but very pointed message.
The blond sighed as he once again faced the Tsuchikage. "Tsuchikage-sama," he said, groping around his mind for the right words as he turned on his official Hokage voice that he loathed using. "I'm very sorry about the...cherry seed incident of yesterday. It wasn't meant to hit your nose."
The Tsuchikage drew himself up. "Why were you spitting them at all?" he asked primly, nose in the air. "It is very inappropriate behavior for a Kage, especially during a meeting with all the other Kages."
Naruto bristled at the direct scolding coming from the man. He thickly swallowed the words bubbling in his mouth and forced himself to say politely, "I realize that. I'm very sorry."
The Tsuchikage glared.
Naruto threw his hands up in the air. "Look, I'm sorry, okay?" he yelled out. He waved his hands wildly as he spoke. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It was an accident! I was hungry, I was bored, the cherries were right there, and I just started spitting them! It's actually a very fun pastime if you ever give it a try! Alright? I'm sorry I hit you in the nose! I'm sorry I spit cherry seeds while you were talking! I'm sorry!"
The Tsuchikage did not respond at first, opting to switch his glare from Naruto to the unknown second culprit of the cherry seed incident who was standing calmly next to the blond, gazing out the window.
"Kazekage-sama," he said pompously, causing Gaara to turn his eyes to the old man. "Were you aware of this...cherry spitting event while it was happening?"
Gaara looked at him blandly.
"Well?" prompted the Tsuchikage.
"...yes," Gaara stated. "I was bored and Naruto attempting to hit targets with cherry seeds is amusing to watch. He claimed that he could hit any target I picked. I proved him wrong.
Naruto jutted his lower lip out, looking every bit the part of a crestfallen child.
The Tsuchikage frowned, obviously not pleased with the redhead's explanation. "I see," he said disdainfully. "Well, I must admit that I am shocked by such immature behavior during a Kage meeting. A cherry spitting contest right under my..." he paused, rethinking his words. "Right in front of me while I give my speech!"
Both Naruto and Gaara glared at him, picking up on the jab to their young ages.
"We apologize," said Naruto through gritted teeth, wishing that punching this man wouldn't cause a massive war to break out between Konoha and Iwa.
He also wished that it was Gaara who had bad aim while spitting. Because Gaara - despite the agreement of silence between the two cherry spitters - had been involved as well. A miniature contest between the two of them that had (unsurprisingly) been Naruto's idea. Gaara had managed to make a cherry seed fly directly out a small window above their heads. Naruto had tried to do the same thing.
He had hit a nose about three feet below the window. Albeit a rather small, wrinkled nose, but a nose three feet under the target nonetheless.
But despite Gaara being his co-conspirator in the contest, Suna wasn't being threatened with war. No, it was Konoha that had a possible breakout of war looming over their heads.
When he got back to Konoha, he was practicing his aim some more.
"Humph," snorted the Tsuchikage as he turned to leave the room. "I am offended that you care so little about the dealings between our two countries that you cannot even sit still in a meeting for a few hours to maintain our peace. If that is how you feel, perhaps we should call off all trading agreements and..."
"Wait!" shrieked Naruto, flailing his arms as he lunged towards the Tsuchikage. If Iwa really did start a war with Konoha, Sakura-chan would kill him! Slowly and tortuously. "I care about our peace! And..."
"I will speak to you tomorrow, Hokage-sama," said the Tsuchikage smoothly as the ANBU closed around him. One of them was obviously itching to draw his sword toward the blond but one of the Konoha ANBU had flitted over and was hovering protectively over his own Kage.
The Iwa ninja walked out with their heads held high leaving a somber trio of Konoha nin and two rather bored Suna nin behind.
Naruto turned to look at the ANBU beside him. "Neji," he said desolately. "Sakura-chan's going to kill me."
Despite the mask, Naruto could tell that Neji was giving him a sarcastic look.
"I'll see you tomorrow as well, Naruto," came Gaara's voice. He gestured to his own ANBU who was instantly following his Kazekage as Gaara began walking out of the room. "Good luck with Sakura," he added as the door closed behind him.
Naruto groaned loudly. He returned his gaze to the two ANBU and pointed directly at them. "You two had better do your jobs and protect your Hokage against any one who tries to harm me!" he ordered. "Even if it is a Konoha ninja!"
"Hokage-sama," said Neji, amusement lacing his voice. "I believe we have more to fear from Sakura's wrath than yours."
"...of all the irresponsible things you can do, you have to go and spit cherry seeds during a Kage meeting! I know you like pranks and you get in trouble a lot, but this is unacceptable! You're like Tsunade-sama at home, avoiding work and such, but she never caused an international incident like this! You took things to a whole nother level! I didn't even know that it was possible for a war to start because of a cherry seed. Only you could do this, Naruto! Do you realize how stupid this was and what the consequences are going to be? What if the Tsuchikage actually decides to..."
Naruto tuned out from Sakura's rant, eyes roving around the room and counting the number of ANBU who were allowing their Hokage to be lectured and beaten. Naruto could actually feel the bump on his head swelling to a massive size.
He couldn't even feel his ribs anymore.
"Are you even listening to me?"
"Yes, Sakura-chan," he said wearily, returning his sight to Sakura's angry face.
"Seriously, Naruto, only you could have caused something like this to happen." Sakura calmed down slightly, rubbing her temple with her fingers. "What even happened in there, Naruto?" she questioned him. "How did you even come about spitting cherry seeds?"
Naruto grinned sheepishly, hand rising to rub the back of his neck. "Well," he said. "You really want me to tell you?"
Sakura nodded.
Naruto shrugged. "Alright then. It started about halfway through the Kage meeting. I missed breakfast that morning and lunch wasn't served for the meeting since they didn't want any of us to start choking from food when we had to speak. So anyway, I was hungry and I asked some Genin who was on a D-ranked mission - which was serving us or something - if she could get me some kind of snack to eat..."
xxxxx
Naruto shifted restlessly as the Mizukage rustled through her papers, searching for the missing one. Where was that Genin with the snack? he wondered, glancing hungrily at the door which the girl had exited from. He squirmed in his chair as his stomach rumbled loudly. The Mizukage sent him a disgruntled look which he returned with a glare.
She was the most annoying Kage ever. Arrogant, rude, stuck-up...
Ah! There was the Genin.
The girl was blushing madly as she walked towards the Hokage, well known to be both young and handsome. In her hands was a large bowl of something red.
She set the bowl down in front of him along with another small bowl.
"Thanks," Naruto whispered to her, causing her to redden even more. She bowed deeply and scurried back to her corner with the other two members of her team.
Naruto peered into the bowl, and picked up one of the small round food items. Cherries.
He had had about thirty cherries in two minutes by the time Gaara turned to him with a pointed look.
"I'm hungry," he said irritably, not in the mood for his constant ally in these boring meetings to turn against him. And bored, he added mentally as Gaara turned back to the meeting. The Mizukage had sat down, not being able to find her other paper, and the Tsuchikage stood up, puffing his chest up proudly as he hobbled to center stage. Naruto grabbed another cherry and, yanking the stem off, putting the small fruit into his mouth. He swished it around for a few seconds, chewing off the fruit and reaching the seed. He spit it into his bowl, and felt an intense gaze on him.
Blue eyes focused onto aquamarine ones.
Gaara was watching him again.
"Hungry?" he asked quietly, sliding the bowl over to his friend.
Gaara eyed the bowl for a minute, before reluctantly stretching his hand for a small cherry, popping it into his mouth and chewing for a minute before spitting the seed into the bowl from nearly a foot away.
Naruto stared, judging the distance in his head.
He himself was about three inches away.
He frowned and pushed the bowl closer to Gaara, grabbing a cherry and biting around it for the seed, spitting it determinedly towards the bowl. Score! he cheered when it hit the bowl directly.
Gaara was still watching him and quirked his right eye more open, his own version of raising an eyebrow.
Naruto leaned back in his chair with a satisfied grin.
Gaara turned away disinterestedly, bringing his attention back to the Tsuchikage's speech.
Naruto pouted, insulted that Gaara had so blatantly ignored him. "Oi, Gaara," he called to his friend softly. The redhead once again faced him. "Betcha can't spit cherry seeds farther than me!"
The Kazekage's eye opened a little wider. "Really?" he said in a low voice.
Naruto nodded smugly.
"I bet you can't hit all the targets I pick out for you," Gaara stated.
"I second that bet!"
"Deal."
"Deal!" Naruto leaned forwards and grabbed a small handful and cherries, watching Gaara closely as he did the same. "You pick first."
Gaara nodded, popping a cherry into his mouth. He motioned towards a trashcan about seven feet away from Naruto.
The seed flew over the distance with ease, landing directly in the middle.
Naruto smirked. He pointed to a cup holder ten feet away, right behind the Raikage's back.
Gaara chewed for another moment before releasing the seed.
It landed in the cup with a little binging sound which caused the Raikage to look behind him, searching and finding nothing. The Raikage looked confused for a moment before shrugging and returning to the Tsuchikage's dull speech.
The blond was ready for Gaara's second try as the Kazekage pulled the stem away from another cherry. Gaara nodded to a nail in the wall about five feet from Naruto.
The blond Hokage scoffed openly, and spit the seed.
It missed by about four inches.
Gaara's smirk was visible as he spit his own seed in the same direction.
Bing!
The Raikage glanced up, hearing the faint noise, but finding nothing around him that could possibly be the cause of it, scratched his head and once again gave his full attention to the Tsuchikage who was still rambling on, unaware of the events around him.
Naruto looked furious as he sent a competitive glare at Gaara who actually had the nerve to look entertained.
"Pick again!" he bit out, shoving two cherries into his mouth at once.
Gaara surveyed the room and gestured towards an empty bowl on the other side of the room.
Naruto curled his tongue, measured the distance in his head, and spit the seed out, doing a mental victory dance when it landed with a solid bing!
The Raikage refused to let his attention span waver this time, telling himself firmly it was all in his head.
Naruto pointed victoriously at another trashcan in the room near the door, small and far away.
Gaara gave him a belligerent glance as he spit the seed towards the can.
The Hokage sulked visibly when it landed without even a rustle. He scowled at Gaara as the redhead picked up another cherry, nonchalantly setting it in his mouth.
Stupid Gaara with his stupid cherries.
Gaara waved his hand towards the fourth target, a light switch set near the other entrance. Naruto shot the cherry seed out of his mouth, victoriously cheering in his head when it hit the target.
Naruto glanced around for an impossible target to give to the redhead when his gaze landed on the Genin team who were staring at the Kazekage and Hokage with amazed expressions on their faces.
They had seen the whole thing.
Naruto pointed to the girl, who snapped her hanging jaw closed and mimed for her to take her cap off and hold it over her head. The girl did so and Naruto figured Gaara could guess what he had to do himself.
It landed perfectly in the cap and the girl gave the Godaime Kazekage a thumbs up.
Naruto leaned back in his chair, upset that his plan didn't work. Gaara casually began eating another seed and pointed to a small, open window across the room.
The blond sent his friend a disbelieving look.
Gaara returned it with an expressionless one that quite obviously stated yes.
Naruto narrowed his eyes at what he imagined to be a look of confidence and arrogance on Gaara's face. He spit the seed in his mouth so hard and with no skill whatsoever that it went about two inches away.
Gaara smirked.
Naruto viciously grabbed another cherry and ripped the stem off, welcoming the small round food into his mouth. He quickly tore the fruit away from the middle. He bit his lip as he fondled the seed with his tongue, calculating how much power he had to put into his aim.
Gaara seemingly decided to try the target and smoothly spit the seed. Both teens watched as it sailed crisply over the blabbering Tsuchikage's head and whooshed right through the window, heading down towards the street.
They imagined they heard it hit the ground.
The Raikage - frustrated - rubbed his head with his hands, massaging his temples. He needed a vacation when he got back to his own village. He was obviously stressed out if he was starting to hear binging noises.
Naruto gave Gaara a thumbs up, a pose reminiscent of Lee's trademark position, with the exception that Naruto was sitting down. The Rokudaime eyed the window, took a deep breath, curled his tongue, puckered his lips, and shot the cherry seed out of his mouth like a cannon ball from a cannon.
It sore through the air, five pairs of eyes following it.
Naruto watched anxiously as it cut through the air like a dagger.
Gaara watched it curiously as it began curving downwards.
The three Genin watched it with nothing short of awe.
It sharpened its descent. Naruto suddenly sensed something was wrong as it was not yet near the window. It went down farther, and Naruto's gaze passed it, trying to predict where it would land, and finding that it was heading directly towards...
Bonk!
The Tsuchikage released a high pitched yelp as he clutched at his nose, voice breaking away from the droning noise it had been making for the past ten minutes. There was silence as the Tsuchikage's hand began to rub his nose. "What was that?" he demanded.
The Mizukage and Raikage exchanged befuddled looks.
Naruto sank down in his seat as Gaara discreetly shoved the cherries in his hand back into the bowl.
The Tsuchikage looked downward, searching for the source of his unexpected and painful attack. His still somewhat sharp eyes spotted a small, round, slightly ragged, brown seed sitting on the floor, apparently innocent. He bent down, limbs creaking, to pick it up.
He held it in front of him, examining it closely. His eyes widened in surprise. "It's a cherry seed," he said.
Time appeared to slow down.
Ever so slowly, the three Kage turned to look over at the bowl of cherries sitting between their fellow leaders.
All three raised their eyes to gaze at the two teens in bewilderment.
Naruto and Gaara stared back.
There was silence.
And then the Tsuchikage's face contorted into a look of such fury that Naruto suddenly wondered what the quickest escape route was from Iwagakure back to Konoha.
Naruto turned his eyes away from the old man's volcanic face to look at the other two Kage who were looking just as horrified. Slowly, he returned his vision to the Tsuchikage who appeared ready to commit homicide.
Naruto felt something catch in his throat.
Wordlessly, he raised his arm and pointed his finger towards Gaara.
May as well try and save his own ass while he still had the chance.
xxxxx
"And that's pretty much all that happened," chuckled Naruto nervously, warily watching for any sign of a violent Sakura.
The pink-haired kunoichi was shaking her head slowly. "You tried to blame it on Gaara?" she asked in disbelief.
"Yeah," said Naruto. "He called me immature later."
"Do you really think that they would've believed that Gaara, Sabaku no Gaara, fearsome Jinchuriki of the Sand, would degrade himself into doing something as mindless as cherry spitting?"
"Well, he did!" cried out Naruto defensively. "And he was good at it! He beat me. Like, a lot."
"Yeah, that's great for him. He gets to win your contest and we get to deal with a war against Iwa!"
"I'm sure the Tsuchikage was just in an unreasonable mood, Sakura-chan," Naruto assured her. "He'll come back to us with new trade agreements in no time."
"He better," threatened Sakura, shaking her fist at him. He cringed and looked helplessly at his ANBU who didn't even flinch. They were so fired when he got back to Konoha. "If a war actually does start, then when I'm through with you we're going to have to find a new Hokage and you're going to have to check yourself in for a permanent home at a place for crippled ninjas. Got that?"
"Y-yes!" shouted Naruto, saluting Sakura as she turned to leave the room.
"You better remember that, Naruto!" shouted Sakura as she slammed the door behind her.
Naruto turned to glare at his ANBU. "Some help you were!" he screeched at them, stomping past the silent figures to exit as well.
God, Sakura was right when she said that only he could get into a mess like this.
After all, how many people could boast that they single-handedly started a war with a cherry seed?
Review? Please? If you do, not only will Konoha not go to war, but Naruto will be spared Sakura's wrath and he'll be eternally grateful and you'll become one of his precious people. (He might even give you a kiss. ^_^) Review!