Disclaimer: I do not own Portal 1 or 2, or the characters. Valve does XD. I never have or never will. There are some spoilers for portal 2 but they're not major spoilers.
AN: I'm sorry if this story is a teensy bit random and a bit short. This is my first story, you have been warned!
It was Christmas and everyone was in the mood. Everyone but GLaDOS that is. Everyone was getting ready in GLaDOS' central chamber, which was littered with cracked mirrors and reflective materials that served as mirrors.
"I don't know why you bother dressing up metal ball. You are already dressed as a moron." GLaDOS said to Wheatley
"Well maybe if I'm a moron then what does that make you? A... a bloody, erm... idiot?"
Chell tried not to snort in laughter at Wheatley's reaction.
"Wow your insults are insulting to anyone hearing this. You really think that's going to upset me? Listen up moron, you. Are. A. Moron." GLaDOS snapped
"SPAAACCCEEE" came a voice from the orange eyed core.
"I'm not a moron" Wheatley muttered to himself.
"Look GLaDOS can you at least try on one outfit on? Pleeeeeease?" Chell fluttered her eyelashes at the swinging computer.
"Oh how can I resist those eyes? Oh right I just did. No that's not happening." GLaDOS replied sharply.
Chell sighed but then heard a robot like chuckle come from behind a panel in the wall.
"Guys you can come out now" Chell shouted into the small hole in the wall.
"Chell? Why are you talking into a small hole in the wall?" GLaDOS demanded to the short woman.
"Maybe her brain damage is kicking in?" Wheatley suggested.
Just at that point, Atlas and P-body emerged from behind a few malfunctioning panels, P-body with one arm holding her head, complete with Santa hat, the other round Atlas and that same robot was dressed as an elf with ears balanced over his optic.
"Oh. My. God. What made you two think that you were invited to this Christmas get together?" GLaDOS demanded to the two small robots, who were both looking at different things, anything, that wasn't strait at Her.
"Well?" "I invited them. They were testing so I thought 'Hey let's ask them if they want to come' and so here we are wi..."
Wheatley was cut off when a small cup was thrown at him, knocking him off his rail, also knowing askew the little mini Santa hat that used to rest on the top of his core body. Chell quickly ran to his side in her large 'Mrs Santa clause' gown, glaring at the computer as she ran past.
"Now that you've so 'kindly' knocked Wheatley off his rail, I think it's about time you tried on some costumes" Chell said to the computer.
"Fine then but this is the only time, ONLY time that I'll be listening to you chubby." GLaDOS gave a serious look to the dark haired girl.
Chell clipped Wheatley back on his rail, and tried to look serious back but ended up bursting into peals of laughter. Wheatley and the two testing robots also started to laugh and the only ones not laughing were GLaDOS and the cores, who had returned to their charging stations.
"What is so funny?" GLaDOS shouted over all the laughter. Just at that point, GLaDOS saw her reflection in one of the cracked mirrors. She had a small dunce hat balancing just over her optic and she had a whippy cream moustache just under her optic.
"WHO DID THAT?" GLaDOS demanded.
One optic and two human eyes locked onto the two testing robots, who were still laughing, obviously not listening.
Two claws came out the ceiling and smacked both the small robots around the head, knocking off Atlas' head and making P-body curse in robotic jibberish.
"There now that's done, are you going to make me up properly?" GLaDOS calmly asked the woman sat on the floor.
"Yeah ok!" Chell answered back. Half an hour and a few costume changes later, GLaDOS was made up like a reindeer with antlers strapped tightly onto the sides of GLaDOS' head.
"So who's ready to go 'Santa Hunting'?" Chell questioned the four other robots.
"ME". "Just go on then". Beep. Boop.
"LET'S GO THEN!" Chell shouted excitedly
The three robots and woman quickly rushed out the doorway, GLaDOS rotating on her axis to 'search for Santa' through the cameras. The truth was that when she got back to her chamber, she was enjoying watching them through the cameras. She was that caught up in fact, that she didn't notice the bird cage being put down carefully by a mysterious being right behind where she was hanging...
In the corridor, Chell and Wheatley were hanging back whilst the two happy robots were storming ahead, exited to actually find out who 'Santa' was.
"Chell, luv I'm feeling great now unlike that time when you came up behind me in that chamber. Urghh that was scary all in one scene. Anyway..." Chell started to zone out, not noticing that Wheatley had carried on talking to her. Atlas had entered a room to Chell's left with P-body and Chell still didn't notice Wheatley go in the room to the left and entered the room to the right of her. Suddenly, the door slammed shut and all that Wheatley heard then was a blood curdling scream. Not from Chell, but from Her.
The bird just wouldn't move. She tried everything from attacking it with a claw to just plain out screaming. It wouldn't budge from on top of her mainframe. There was a sudden knock on the chamber doors that just wouldn't go away.
"Hey! GLaDOS are you ok?" An annoying voice came from the other sides of the double doors.
"Badabeep" Another two robotic voices came from the other side of the doors.
"YES! I'm fine Blue, Orange. There's just a horrible thing in here, a bird. And out there. A moron. Anyway can you get rid of it? The bird that is."
"Beep." The two small robots replied.
The two doors slid open to reveal the two robots in fighting stances with portal guns clutched tightly to their 'bodies'. Atlas rushed in strait at the bird whilst the more feminine of the two, P-body, cowered by the door, watching her partner get attacked by a small black bird. The small bird finally flew out a small opening in the roof, causing GLaDOS to sigh in relief. At that, Wheatley finally stopped talking into a door and slid into the large chamber.
"What happened in here? It looks like you got attacked by something."
The only reply he got was three robotic glares.
"Help me! I'm stuck in this blasted room!" a small feminine voice came from behind the door Wheatley was talking to.
"Chell's stuck. Great. It's not surprising because she is quite idiotic. Just leave her there, she'll get out eventually." GLaDOS said coldly.
Chell paced the room, wondering when the others were actually going to open the door, when a small whisper came from the back of the room that was mostly hidden in shadow. It came again and by this time, Chell was backed up against the wall, holding out the foam sword she had found earlier.
"W...who's there?" Chell asked in a shaky voice.
That's when she heard it.
"There you are." a sweet robotic voice came from the shadows, a small light shining luminously in the darkness.
"I'm different"
Chell let out a relieved sigh. It was the oracle turret. She had found it earlier when she was going through the test chambers. It had told her about t he past and it was actually something she could call a friend.
"He's coming for you. You need to get out. He will own you."
What did the turret mean by that? He will own you?
Chell turned to her left just to see a human figure, too dark to see his features, stood there, staring straight at her, a murderous glare in his eyes. She turned to the right just to see the oracle turret gone. Nothing in its place. She turned back to the mysterious figure to see that the oracle turret was under his arm, desperately moving its legs to get free from his iron grip. He took one step closer to the terrified woman, making Chell hold up her 'weapon' to try to protect herself. She began to run to the door, only to fall over a chair to the floor. The only thing she heard before she was out cold on the floor was a menacing laugh, obviously coming out of the stranger's mouth, and a loud clang when the pipe collided with her head...
GLaDOS looked at her internal watch, waiting for the dark haired woman to emerge from the supply room that she had so cleverly got herself locked in. It had been over two hours since she heard anything come from the room, that being the moving of a chair, no doubt for her to sit on, and she was getting impatient now. What was keeping her so long? And why was access to the camera in that room also blocked from her viewing?
"Moron, go and get her, the sooner the better." GLaDOS demanded Wheatley, who was still anxious about Chell. He just had the feeling that something bad had happened to her, and whatever it was, he wasn't going to like it...
Atlas kicked in the door and moved aside for Wheatley to enter the pitch black room. Wheatley slid slowly along his rail embedded in the ceiling, entering the dark room. There was a few chairs scattered around the room and on the floor was a small broken turret. Although it was broken, it still had the flashing red pointer beam, frantically dancing round the room. There was a hole in the wall, just big enough for a person to squeeze through and coming from that hole, was a flashing artificial light, like the ones on the ceiling. GLaDOS' camera was lying on the floor, ripped from the wires in the wall. Wheatley slid so that he couldn't get any closer to the hole and clicked on his flashlight. Inside the hole was a bandage that was made for a wrist or ankle.
'Chells wrist support!' Wheatley thought to himself.
"Erm... GLaDOS you might want to have a look at this." Wheatley shouted into the hallway.
Waiting for GLaDOS to reply, Wheatley had another look into the small hole in the wall. Inside was a small torch that had a cracked screen, the light blinking on and off. Wheatley shuddered at the small broken pieces of glass. There was also an old companion cube, with a note attached to the top by a piece of cellotape.
'She is safe. For now. Come to behind the lift for chamber 64. Come alone if you want Chell safe. Signed DR.' The note read.
"What is it moron? I don't have all day" GLaDOS droned through the communication device built into all robots.
"Chell's gone!" Wheatley replied through the device.
"No, no no no, this can't be happening? Do you know what happened?" GLaDOS asked, her voice unusually frantic.
"There's a hole in the wall, and there's a cube." Wheatley replied. He wasn't going to tell her about the note, not yet at least.
GLaDOS muttered an unrecognisable word to herself. Atlas and P-body moved into the storage room, standing next to the panicking core.
"Atlas, P-body, go into the hole with Wheatley, see what you can find. If you find anything, report back to me at once. I'm not losing Chell after she came back for the moron." GLaDOS said to the two robots.
Atlas picked up Wheatley and stepped into the small hole. The light from Wheatley's flashlight lit up a small den, where cans and water pots were scattered all over the floor. P-body picked up the struggling turret, setting it strait on its legs. She then entered the hole after her companion and the three robots continued further into the den.
When Chell awoke, she was over the shoulder of a medium sized man, with scraggly hair and a short beard that reached a small way down his neck. He had an unreadable expression in his rough face but when he slightly glanced down at Chells open eyes, the corners of his mouth slightly turned upwards. In the hand that wasn't wrapped tightly around Chell's legs, he was holding a small medication bottle with one word written across the side: schizophrenia. Chell gave the man the dirtiest look she could muster up.
"You know, it's surprising how long it was before She let you out. I was there when the turrets were singing. Hidden in the shadows. You wouldn't have seen me though. I've watched you since you were found here, ever since She woke you up in that pod. Hell, I even watched you at bring your daughter to work day."
Chell gave him a questioning look, which then turned to a much softer one, then back to confused.
"I know you're not mute so it's no use pretending you are." The mysterious man said to a barely conscious Chell.
Chell sighed very deeply.
"What did you do? Why did you take me? Who even are you?" Chell questioned her kidnapper.
All she got as a reply was a very deep laugh.
"What's so funny?" she demanded.
"God, breathe! I read your file. Know you have a very short temper" He explained to the woman, still being slightly dragged along the floor.
"Well? Who are you?" She asked.
"My name's Doug..."
Atlas was storming through the dens, looking for evidence, whilst P-body and Wheatley held back from the male robot, more slowly looking around each new location.
"How long is this going to take?" Wheatley moaned to the two testing robots.
BEEP beep.
It was clear by the blue eyed robot's reply that Wheatley was getting on his nerves.
"I mean come on, they can't have got that far, and they're humans! They need rest at sometime don't th..." Wheatley was cut off when P-body hit his metal casing, knocking his audio receptors, making him speak with a more feminine voice.
"What have you done to my voice?" Wheatley asked.
Atlas and P-body stopped, just to burst out laughing at Wheatley's new voice. It was so funny to the two robots that they didn't notice GLaDOS' voice coming through Wheatley's communication device.
"Hey, listen up. HEY LISTTTTTTTTTTTT..." Her voice cut out due to the static of lower aperture. "Sorry, got cut off there for a moment. Found anything moron?" GLaDOS asked through the device.
"As a matter of fact, we do! Wait, I'm NOT a moron!" Wheatley replied.
"Well then?"
"We found a radio playing some sort of song and it's messing with our static, one sec I'll play it for you." Wheatley explained
"Why is your voice really high moro..." GLaDOS stopped when she heard the lyrics of the song:
Exile, it takes your mind, again. Exile, it takes your mind, again. You've got suckers luck. Have you given up? Does it feel like a trial? Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?
"Stop. Just stop the music." GLaDOS demanded.
"I... I can't! It won't let me!"
P-body picked up the radio and snapped the off switch. It still wouldn't go off.
Vilify. Don't even try. Vilify. Don't even try. Vili...
The music stopped when P-body smacked the small radio off the floor. The static changed and the radio changed channel.
Do you believe in magic? In a young girls heart. Have the music a... the radio smashed straight through the window that was conveniently above P-body's head, that led into an old cafeteria. P-body winced as it knocked all the filthy pans from the wall.
"Thank you P-body. Carry on." And with that, GLaDOS closed the communication.
She was checking all over the camera's from one hour ago, searching for anything that would lead her to Chell. He didn't get her last time, so he wasn't going to get her this time. No matter what it takes, she would get Chell back, if it's the last thing she does. The battle between an artificial intelligence, and a Rat.
"Why? Why did you take me? I don't need rescuing anymore. You saw me; it was my choice to come back. So why?" Chell asked Rattman.
"Because it's my duty to protect you."
"My safety is none of your concern so if you please" She motioned towards the floor.
"I'm not putting you down if that's what you mean. Like I said, it's my duty to protect you now stop struggling or I will knock you out again."
Chell immediately stopped trying to pry his grip away from her waist, relaxing her body so she hung limp on his shoulder.
"So, why am I so important to you, Doug?" Chell questioned her captor.
"Because I always had faith in you to kill Her and after you did, I watched you get dragged in. I made sure the intelligence dampening sphere..."
"Wheatley" Chell interrupted
"Sure whatever. I made sure he would wake you up so that you could escape after all I'd done for you, and then I fell into a deep sleep and when I woke up, you'd gone. I thought you were dead and it scared me. You mean a lot to me kid."
"Well, now that you put it like that... I still hate you for taking me." Chell replied.
"Whatever you say Chell."
"Where is she?" GLaDOS raged through Wheatley's speakers.
"Wait, I'm getting like a radio connection!" Wheatley replied
They all listened in on the conversation.
"Listen dad I'm a... I'm not a crazed gunman dad I'm an assassin! What would the difference be? Ones a job and the others mental sickness!"
"You moron you've picked up someone's telephone conversation! Just keep going and you'll find them some time or other!" The connection fizzled out.
Before long, Atlas and P-body, still holding Wheatley, came to a split, one path leading left and another leading straight ahead.
"Beep. Badabeep." "Beep." The two testing robots conversed.
"What, what are you saying? I don't know what we're doing!" Wheatley shouted at the two robots.
Atlas pointed to himself, then down the left path, and then pointed to P-body and the path straight ahead.
"Oh you want to go to the toilet?" Wheatley guessed.
Atlas slapped a metal hand to his optic. He passed the Wheatley to P-body, clicking on his flashlight and continuing down the dark path to his left.
"Wait where you going? Shall we stay here for you?" Wheatley shouted, his voice finally back to normal. P-body poked him and pointed down the path ahead of them, starting to walk in that direction.
"Where are we going?" Chell and Doug had been travelling down the dark pathway for over two hours, sometimes stopping to pick up food or water from the run down cafeterias that just happened to be on the way to wherever they were going.
"It's none of your concern." Doug replied, his voice extremely raspy.
"It's all of my concern! You had the nerve to capture me when I was vulnerable and I've done nothing wrong with coming back! There's nothing out there! At all! It's just desert, and the occasional big huge crater! I have no money and I don't know if there is anyone alive in the world so what was I supposed to do huh? I had to come back! It's..." Doug whacked her over the head with a water can and she went limp in his arms. There's one problem taken care of...
"P-body can you listen to me pl... LISTEN LADY CAN YOU NOT IGNORE ME!?" Wheatley was getting impatient; P-body had been ignoring his incoherent babble for at least an hour. She opened the communication to Atlas.
"Beep." She asked him over the robotics. "Beep beep".
"What did he just say? I'm British not robot-ish!" Wheatley moaned at the taller robot. P-body sighed. This was going to be a long day for the testing robots. She signed best she could that 'Atlas was fine' and 'he had found some lighting' meaning he was near the testing tracks. They assumed he was getting near to Chell seeing as this mysterious being – or DR – appeared to want to get out the facility. The two testing robots had also read the note seeing as Wheatley had rolled onto it and it had stuck to his optic. It was now stuck to P–body's hand, rumpled up and torn. She stuck it to Wheatley's optic again and continued down the path, switching on her emergency lights in her eyes when it became too dark.
"Hey I can't see!" "BEEP!" P-body snapped at Wheatley, the tone of her voice dropping him into silence.
"Beep beep Boop" Atlas' voice came through the receptors.
"Well?" GLaDOS' voice came suddenly through the communication device built into Wheatley, startling both robots.
Atlas' voice came through the receptor, speaking to the significantly larger robot AI. Wheatley began to hum, making P-body give him a dirty look. How he wished he could speak their language.
Doug slipped Chell onto the table in the canteen, stretching his back as he did so. They had been walking – Doug carrying Chell all the way – for at least 3 hours and he finally decided that he deserved a rest. The dress didn't help at all and although it was pretty, he was really building up a hate for the thing. It weighed at least 12 pounds and now knocking her out didn't seem such a good idea.
"What have you gotten me into huh?"
The unconscious form of Chell didn't even stir. Doug plopped down into the hard chair beside the table that Chell was laying upon. He took out a metallic device, not unlike a PA, and checked the location of his cube. That cube had helped him so much in the past years, directing him when he got lost and keeping him company in the loneliest of times. Good, it hadn't been moved. He really hoped he got to test chamber 64 soon, or he might collapse under Chell's dead weight. He sighed and leaned the chair back onto two legs. It was at that point that he heard music coming from behind the dusty counter where chefs and dinner ladies used to work.
Believe in the magic of'a young girl's soul. Believe in the magic of'a rock and roll. Believe in the magic that will set you free, Ahhhh. Talking bout magic. Do you believe like I believe?
He looked over the counter and spotted a radio lying on its side, dented and filthy. It was surrounded by dusty pots and pans. A dented pan wrack (?) lay on the floor, obviously knocked off the wall. He looked around and spotted a smashed window in the vague shape of an arc, just like the shape of the radio. He clicked the radio off and shoved it into his rucksack along with the other he used to send messages in Morse code. He started to climb the shelves, every so often looking back to the unconscious form of Chell on the table. When he reached the top of the shelves, he looked through the window and saw a walkway, not unlike the one he was on earlier, but this one sported a long trail of oil.
"How much further?" Wheatley had been arguing with GLaDOS for about an hour, GLaDOS naturally winning the argument.
"The more you argue, the longer we will walk now shut up. Anyway, P-body has to carry you so ask her."
"Beep" Atlas spoke to P-body. P-body stopped abruptly and peered far into the dark hallway, spotted something and began to run at full speed down the corridor, not once looking back. When they finally came to the end of the hallway, there stood Atlas holding a big rucksack with the aperture logo haphazardly stuck on the back. Atlas picked up P-body in a huge bear hug, Wheatley squished in the middle.
"Hey. Hey. HEEEEY! I'M GETTING SQUISHED HERE!" Wheatley shouted at the two robots either side of him. Atlas looked down at Wheatley, or rather down at something just past him.
"BEEP!" Atlas pointed down at the floor, where a large pool of black oil had pooled around their robotic feet. P-body jumped out the puddle in surprise, oil spilling from the joint on her arm. Atlas pulled out a tool box from a nearby supply cupboard, handed it to P-body and P-body, being the mechanic she is, began to fix up her arm one handed, after dropping Wheatley heavily onto the ground, occasionally taking tools out Atlas' hand. After a little while, her arm was fixed and the oil puddle only a black stain on the floor after Atlas had vigorously scrubbed at it with a mop.
"Erm, a little help here?" Wheatley mumbled, his speakers facing towards the now black ground. P-body picked him up and slapped a hand to her optic when she saw that the protective glass over his optic was cracked into a spider web shape. At least he couldn't see anymore.
Doug grabbed Chell and started to climb the secret stairs that he found at the back of the kitchen. She had half awoken and was now in a dreamy state, occasionally muttering unrecognisable things. The dress was still weighing down his arms, and although they had only been walking ten minutes, the blasted dress had begun to annoy him again.
"Doug" Chell's voice was a bit clearer and made a lot more sense.
"Yes Chell?" Doug's voice was soft and comforting. He stopped at a wall and slid down it to sit on the floor, Chell resting on his lap. The dress splayed all across the floor and in some places, was stained a darker red than the material from scratches when Doug walked to close to a wall or stumbled over the long dress.
"This dress is itchy. Do you have anything sharp?" Chell blinked up at the older man, as if pleading him with her eyes.
"Erm sure." Doug pulled out a sharp piece of glass he had come across earlier and handed it over to the younger woman sat on his lap. She began to cut at the dress, layers falling around her and Doug. When she finally gave him back the shard, her dress had been reduced from a full red ball gown, to a short red ripped dress that came down to her upper thighs. She stood up, wobbled a little, and started to step towards the door.
"Oh no you don't" Doug stooped down and scooped Chell up, bridal style and started for the door, picking up his backpack on the way out.
"Don't you think this is getting a little old?" Chell looked up at the man carrying her. "I mean, I'm not a child, why do you have to carry me everywhere?"
"Because." Doug replied simply. He gave her a look that said 'Stop asking questions'. Chell and Doug fell into complete silence.
P-body tapped his optic, testing its stability. She robotically sighed and motioned for Atlas to fetch her tool box she used previously on her arm. She pulled out a wrench and began to detach the optic from the core. She peered deep into the middle of the core, past his optic, occasionally moving around a few wires.
"OOH! That tickles! Stop it!" Wheatley whined when P-body moved the wire connecting his speakers to his receptor. She yanked on it and Wheatley's voice fizzled out into nothing. Atlas did a small cheer and started to dance around the room until P-body grabbed hold of his fake ears to stop him. She grabbed hold of a few other wires and disconnected them. She then picked up a memory stick like device and inspected it thoroughly, then finally plugging it into a port in the core. Wheatley's optic went all black and switched off. She pulled out a wrench from the tools, turned the connectors of a wall panel and detached the panel from the wall. She peered deep inside and saw that it was a core disposal unit. She picked up one of the cores, turned it over and dropped it when she read the black writing on the side. Adventure sphere.
He tapped her on the shoulder. She had fallen asleep against his chest and they had travelled for many hours towards chamber 64. She had become significantly lighter now that the dress had lost all the heavy underskirts and he could go on for much longer. She awoke with a start, and Doug nearly dropped her, pulling her to his chest at the last minute.
"Sorry" She apologised. "I keep having bad dreams. I dreamt all the cores were turned off and stowed away in a supply room. I guess I was just over-reacting." Doug paled. He had come across the sleeping cores earlier and had shut them down temporarily. He knew GLaDOS had immediate access to the cores so he couldn't take any chances.
"Well are you sure you're ok now?" He looked down at the half asleep girl, his vision lingering on the big burn mark going up the side of her face. Part 5 of Wheatley's 'plan'. He looked up at the doors he was passing and counted down the numbers to 64.
"Yepp. I'll be fine." Chell looked down the corridor ahead of them with a questioning look.
"Where are we going? And why are we by the test chambers?" Chell looked up at the older man.
"Erm well I asked the dampening sphere..."
"Wheatley"
"Yeah, I asked him to meet us behind chamber 64"
"Wait why?"
"All will be revealed my little sugar cube."Doug looked ahead and spotted the chamber. This was going to be good...
"Well how come this didn't come up on my files?" Both the testing robots were inspecting the room, every so often picking up a core and reading the writing that was printed on the side. She finally found a blank one among the rest of the cores and used her wrench to pull off the screen. She carried it over to the core now lying on the table in the room and began to re-attach all the wires she had previously pulled out. When she connected the speakers to the audio receptors, he continued to talk, as if he hadn't been in silence for the past 20 minutes.
"And I don't think that wire should have been moved at all and... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?!" Wheatley moved his exposed optic around, scanning over the cores lying on the floor, off and the various wires of the dismantled core on the ground.
"Where's my screen gone?" Wheatley cried out, panicking. P-body held up the screen off the blank core, and began to work it back into place over the sensitive screen that was Wheatley's optic. When it finally snapped back into place, she took the wrench and began to screw it shut.
"Ow! That really hurt"
Beep
Wheatley immediately went silent under the scrutinizing glare of the more feminine test robot. She picked him up along with the tool box and began for the door.
"Where are you going?" GLaDOS' piercing voice came through Wheatley, startling the three other robots.
"You can't just leave the rest of the cores here. They're exposed to... to... oh never mind just fix them, or take them with you. That is all" She cut off the communication and returned to searching the cameras. P-body walked over to the large pile and picked up Rick the adventure sphere. She had a lot of cores to go through and she may as well start now...
He slid down the wall and placed Chell down on the ground. They had reached the chamber and now he didn't know what he was going to do with her. She had fallen asleep again and was snoring softly, her hair splayed out over the floor. He rummaged through his backpack and pulled out the tire wraps he had found years ago in the under layers of aperture. He pulled out one and tied one of Chells hands to some wiring jutting out of the elevator. He couldn't take any chances with her. If she could murder a super computer – twice – then she could run away easily.
"Wheatley" Chell started to murmur in her sleep and started to shift around. She suddenly jolted up and hit her head off the elevator shaft.
"WHEATLEY!" She looked all around the room then back at her hands that were tied up.
"What have you done?" She demanded the older man opposite her. She was breathing heavily and starting to hyperventilate. He crawled over and pulled her into his chest and muttered comfortingly into her ear. She calmed down immediately and fell back into sleep.
"Kiddo you need to calm down" He muttered to her sleeping form. He pulled her onto his lap then leaned against the wall and fell into a comfortable slumber.
P-body held in the button and waited until the orange circle like optic came back on.
"Thanks space buddy. Have you been to space missy? Can you help me get back to space? Please space missy?" P-body rolled her optic at the little cores rambling and clipped him onto the rail above her head. Space core zoomed off towards the charging bay along with the other cores. P-body picked up Wheatley and rolled her optic when she saw his rail was completely broken off. She picked up the tools and placed them back in the box and handed it to Atlas for him to carry it. She could never guess when she would need them again.
"Remember we need to get to chamber... erm well whatever it says on that piece of post it note..." Wheatley looked around awkwardly then finally up at P-body. P-body slapped her hand to her optic yet again and started to search the floor for the missing piece of paper. She got on her hands and knees and crawled around the floor, shining the light from her optic under tables and discarded cores.
"There it is." Wheatley's optic froze. That was GLaDOS. She couldn't know about it could she?
"What's written on it anyways?" Wheatley visibly relaxed. At least she didn't know what they were up to, right? But she was still suspicious.
"Erm, ingredients to a cake?" He asked it more like a question than a statement. GLaDOS turned on her slow clap processor.
"Well done moron that is the best thing to write on a Post-it note".
Sarcasm detected
"Oh good that's still online. Now tell me what's on the Post-it note. Now."
"Erm...erm..."
"Don't lie, I'm a super computer, I know when you're lying." GLaDOS interrupted Wheatley's ramblings.
BeepBoop
"Thank you Blue. Go on then. Go to chamber 64. I need to have a good discussion with this 'DR'"...
Doug awoke with a start when he heard robotic beeping from outside the panels of the elevator shaft. He stood up and pulled Chell around the other side of the elevator, pulling the wiring along with her. He leaned against the glass and slowed his breathing to a point where he wasn't breathing at all.
"I think this is it" The British voice of Wheatley came from outside the still round down panels from where GLaDOS hadn't cleaned up the facility. There was a scanning like sound and then the panel slid open, revealing two testing robots and Wheatley, Atlas and P-body standing close together with Wheatley hanging from his rail above their heads.
"Erm are you DR?" Wheatley asked the rough looking man.
"Erm... yes, yes I am." He answered the small metal ball. He walked over to the robotic trio and left Chell lying on the floor. Wheatley spotted her and started to whizz over to her but was stopped when Doug leaned up and detached him from the rail. He held him in his hands and walked over to Chell.
"I'm a man of my word. But are you, dampening sphere?" He asked the core, looking down at him with a serious look in his eyes.
"Yes he is now give her back you Ratt!" GLaDOS' voice came through Wheatley's audio receptors, startling the older human.
"Ah Caroline, how nice of you to join us. Oh yes I forgot that you 'changed' your name. So what may I call you oh mighty super computer?" Doug asked, moving into the way of the camera at the top of the stairs.
"Don't call me that you dirty rat. It's GLaDOS. Just give us back Chell and you won't be hurt. Just tested." GLaDOS spoke through Wheatley.
"Nope. You didn't keep your word so I won't keep mine. Goodbye Disk operating system." He picked up a broken piece of panel and threw it at the camera, disconnecting it from the wall. He then picked up Wheatley, threw him at the two testing robots and cut away at the tyre wraps covering her wrists with a broken shard of black glass, accidently cutting her in the process. When he finally cut through the thick plastic, the two testing robots had come to their senses and had run over to the two humans. Chell had awoken when Doug had cut her arm, and had begun to struggle in his hold.
"NO! GET OFF ME!" Chell screamed at the older man gripping her upper arm tightly, hitting at his chest. Atlas kicked Doug in the chest, pushing him off Chell, and picked up Chell and handed her to a panicking P-body. He then reconnected Wheatley to his rail and motioned for his testing partner to run down the corridor next to the test chambers.
"RUN!" GLaDOS' voice came out Wheatley, causing his to disconnect from his rail in surprise. Atlas stooped down and carried the core the rest of the way down the corridor, moonlight flashing over them from the holes in the ceiling. Wheatley shuddered. Why couldn't it be daytime?
"GIVE HER BACK!" Doug's angry voice came from behind the robots, full with hatred. Chell moved in P-body's arms so she could face the floor. Her eyes scanned across the floor, and locked with a small glass bottle with one word written across it.
Schizophrenia
"Wait! Atlas pick up that bottle!" The rounder robot moved Wheatley into one hand and scooped up the bottle into his other. He held it up to his optic so GLaDOS could see through the built in camera.
"Quick, make him take it! I think he's hearing voices...
Quick. Get revenge.
Wait I don't want this!
You have to get Caroline back for what she did to you.
I'm not listening.
You need the girl. This is the opportunity. Take it!
I... don't know.
Don't back out now. You've been waiting for this for years.
Doug began to run after the speedy robots.
"GIVE HER BACK!"
That's it. You know I'm always right.
Oh shut up.
I can't, not now. Look they've stopped.
Doug looked ahead and, like the voice said, Atlas and P-body had stopped. Doug slowed down and walked menacingly towards the testing robots. Atlas suddenly launched forwards and sat down on Doug's torso. He forcefully opened Doug's mouth and emptied the two remaining pills out onto the metal of his hand. He stuck them in Doug's mouth and held his nose until he swallowed them unwillingly. Atlas hesitantly stood and offered his hand to the broken man. Doug reluctantly took his hand and wobbly stood up.
No don't give in...
The voice completely disappeared from Doug's head and he put his hands to his forehead, and shook his head slowly from side to side. When he stopped feeling dizzy, he looked up at the three robots and the young woman before him.
"You know I would have taken them willingly." He smiled up at Chell, who had only just stood up from her position lying on the ground.
Chell began to laugh, quietly at first, then into full blown laughter. The two testing robots looked at each other, shrugged and soon joined in alongside with Wheatley, Doug and –reluctantly- GLaDOS. When the laughter finally died down, Chell turned to Doug.
"What happens when these wear off?" Chell asked him seriously.
"I'll sort that out. Come to my chamber." The voice came out of all three robots, intensifying the noise.
Doug reluctantly started to trudge out the corridor back towards the vague direction of the huge AI's chamber. He had never truly trusted her, human or not. Chell followed behind, the bottle clinking out of her hands onto the filthy floor. The three robots pushed them aside and began to lead the way towards the circular room. When they finally got to the central AI chamber, Doug looked up at the huge robot in awe. It had been years since they had come face to face.
"Here" Her eye flashed as she spoke.
A claw descended from the ceiling and gripped tightly between the metal tongs was another small bottle, similar to the one previously in Chell's hand, filled with small white pills. Doug grabbed it when it was close enough, and pocketed it, deciding that the first sign of a voice, he would take that medicine like a druggie. He couldn't help it; he hated that voice so much.
"So what's going to happen now?" Chell asked the small group stood in the middle of the chamber.
"I believe you were going on a 'present hunt'?" Doug spoke to the young woman stood before him.
Chell stood still, contemplating this, then began to run around, helping everyone get ready, redoing her make-up where it had smudged against Doug's t-shirt. Doug shook his head. Women. He looked up and found the huge AI scrutinising him with her glare. Her optic suddenly took the shape of an arc, giving the impression of smiling. He flashed a cheeky grin, showing his teeth. And then she began to... Was she laughing? Her arc of an optic was bobbing up and down, her way of laughing.
"Ha... Do that again!" She exclaimed, her optic still bobbing up and down.
"Erm... do what exactly?" Doug asked her, a questioning look on his face.
"That smile! It's fun... Funny!" She was still laughing at him, and he had recently gone bright red.
He flushed, and smiled shyly at the huge computer. He had to admit; she was quite cute when she laughed, it sounding a lot like when she was human... No! He couldn't think that! She was a murderous AI and he was a human! He smiled cheekily at her again, and she burst into more peals of laughter. Chell looked over at them, her face shiny from recently applied foundation. Or not, he could never tell. She walked over to them, cautiously.
"Erm... what are you two laughing at? Oh and Doug? You've got bright red." Chell exclaimed, still wary of the laughing robot.
She looked up at GLaDOS, and burst into laughter yet again. GLaDOS' laughing ceased and her optic narrowed immediately at the brunette.
"Well what are you laughing about?" GLaDOS asked the young woman, her optic still narrowed.
Doug began to laugh alongside Chell, deep and raspy.
"What?" She narrowed her optic more when she saw the two testing robots come over, carrying Wheatley, also laughing.
Doug reached up and smudged the whippy cream of from on GLaDOS' screen, and dabbed it onto Chell's nose, making her sneeze. Atlas and P-body pulled out multiple cans of whippy cream and handed one to every person- GLaDOS having it in her claw- except Wheatley. They all began to spray the cream at each other, Atlas and P-body being particularly good at it. GLaDOS, being the mean one she was, sprayed her whole can in Doug's hair, Doug covering her entire head and optic with his can. Chell and the other robots stood off to one side watching the odd couple, just focused on each other. Chell sprayed the rest of her can into her mouth, not caring who was watching. Who cared if they didn't have any physical presents? This was the best Christmas present they could ever want.
Whew! R&R please? You will get cookies (or ponies if you don't like cookies[!]) If you didn't like it, please tell me in a review or PM so I can either explain or edit it! Please, no flames! And sorry for the slightly cheesy ending ;)