She arrived late at night, too late, she thought. Darla was standing at the doorstep with an impatient expression on her face, ready to leave; her eyes were telling her she was waiting for Riley to reach her so after some small talk she could go to her nephew's birthday party. She briefly smiled and apologized.
"I am so sorry, Trina, I lost the bus and I tried to call a cab but my phone wasn't working and then started to rain..."
"It's fine, sweetheart, I understand, you don't have to worry" Her Norwegian accent was prevalent and sharp but her soft words usually compensated the roughness.
"I'll pay you for the inconvenience; it has been my entire fault"
"Oh, I can't accept it, dear" she murmured, humble.
"Then give it to Nils, consider it a gift for stealing his aunt's time"
"Thank you, angel" She sheepishly kept it in her purse and said goodbye.
"See you on Monday, and again, thank you for staying"
She politely smiled as she opened the door of her car and drove away.
Riley went to the kitchen and prepared a vegan sandwich, she ate it slowly wanting to fill the hours of the clock as much as possible before going upstairs. The raindrops started filling the streets in crescendo and she went outside to smoke a quick cigarette. While she was looking for the lighter in her pocket, her last cigarette slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor, ending completely soaked on the ground.
"Do you want one?"
The reflexive gaze of the Korean woman suddenly appeared in front of her.
"I can't quit it." she admitted sitting next to her in the bench and accepting it.
"You don't have to. Life always finds its ways to sicken you somehow, so you may as well decide the reason deliberately."
Riley never guessed if being in jail made Sun wiser or if she had always been that way.
"I'm sure you're enjoying each one, how does freedom feel like?"
"Jail, for me, was a promise. A link to my mother, a bond I was too afraid to break. It was hard to let go, but I think I'm finally liberated and in peace. It's a wonderful feeling to take that weight off my shoulders"
"I can already feel that pressure fading, I'm glad you found your reward, Sun" She placed her hand over hers and she nodded in agreement.
"Now you go with him, I must return to my office, everything it's chaos, they've been lost since I left" And as she stood up, she disappeared into thin air.
The sounds of the begging kitten asking for his dinner made her throw away the cigarette and prepare the cat food she had started buying recently. He came closer to her, eagerly waiting, sharing his warmth with Riley's legs in an act of pure empathy. Apparently the terrible storm that stroke the village some nights ago forced him to find shelter inside the house, she couldn't resist his longing stare and he had been rumbling around the house for weeks. She left the bowl in its usual corner and headed determined to the stairs.
Every little step made her shiver, one would say that visiting him thrice a day for almost two months would make her get used to it, but it was inevitable. She couldn't help but feel overwhelmed every time the door opened and the picture was the same. A dim light hanging from the ceiling, a window she often kept closed for prevention, a slightly cracked old mirror with a picture of her father, a couple of blankets just in case the temperature of the room got really cold, a comfortable armchair right next to two pile of books in the coffee table (one was hers, the other was Trina's), four half melted crimson candles and, as the protagonist of the whole, a young man lying on a small bed who usually triggered tiny tears in the eyes of the Icelandic girl watching the scene from a far. She lit the candles and sat in the bed by his side. According to her watch in less than five minutes he would wake up, disorientated, looking for answers and getting nothing but more silence, eternal and annoying silence. And without even noticing, she starts to do what has become a ritual, cherish the moments she has before grief carves new holes in her, what seeing him and not being able to be with him makes her. She caresses his front tenderly as once she knows he did with her. She tells him about her day sometimes, about how it's like to being a bartender again, about how she misses his dad so much, making music and Iceland too. It's hard to be optimistic, she's really not one and Will is way better at that but she has to do it for him, for them, for her.
"How are you? Lito told me he was here this morning and commented that you had some sort of incident last night."
Nomi appears out of nowhere at the end of the bed with a concerned look on her face, the woman could be very direct when she wanted and petrifying chills ran through her spine with the simple thought of remembering the events of yesterday. Riley threw a last glance at him before answering.
"We're fine now. It's just… when I gave him the medication; it didn't seem to affect him at all. He started to become more conscious about what was surrounding him and he panicked because he thought Whispers was going to find a way in through him and that he would harm any of us... I really tried to make it work, but I couldn't so I freaked out. Fortunately, Kala came right away and said it was normal if he didn't respond immediately to the medication because of the constant supplying he was receiving. She told me what to do to calm him down and eventually fell asleep. It was just a scare, I was just... afraid something could happen to him."
"Well, it's alright now, he seems just fine. If you want, I'll stay here till you go to sleep."
"Thank you, Nomi, for everything. Especially for getting us this house and for Trina."
"We need trustworthy people around us and her brother was an old friend of mine who used to hack corrupt organizations with me a long time ago. There is no way he could be collaborating with Whispers. I met her sister a couple of times, I remembered she used to be a nurse and I knew she would help us."
"She's been a blessing since we arrived, the way she takes care of Will and makes me feel so welcomed. Whenever I need a hand, she's there... I'm lucky to have her"
"However" She approach her and spoke nearly murmuring "Time has taught us that anyone can turn up against us so, just in case, keep an eye open"
In that moment she heard the beeps of the alarm and prepared to hear him speak for the first time today.
"Riley…" following the tradition, her name was the first thing he uttered after waking up. The clear blue eyes of his usually lit the place brighter than all its lamps or candles you could find in Reine.
"Hey" Trina, who had some experience with patients in similar situations in the past, had told her she needed to act lively and happy around him, even if was just for less than a minute, just so he felt better.
"Yesterday…I" He was never able to create full sentences, some days he just pronounced random words, or even just sounds. She didn't mind, just the image of his cheerful gaze reminded her why she was there. Why it was worth it.
"Everything's ok, Will, we're all ok." She already had the syringe ready and prepared to inject him the medication. He kindly smiled and she perceived that during his sixty seconds of consciousness his thoughts belonged to her, it was the only thing he cared about, he always tried to make it easier for her, each and every time. She put the needle away and held tightly his hand.
"Now just rest a little." Her voice was always gentle and careful, trying to keep him completely relaxed.
"I miss you, Ri…" His words were drowning in sadness. He constantly fought against the meds effect, she could feel he hated being always asleep. Having danger all around and being one of the greatest of all drove him crazy.
"I won't give up, Will, I am here by your side. We're searching for a solution; we're all looking after you"
She still couldn't believe the amount of support she had received from the other sensates. At least one member of the cluster always cared to come by every day, to make her company. Capheus and Kala appeared in the morning, opening the blinds and placing cute flower arrangements all over de room. They were the most joyful and happy, and they sang together funny melodies from well-known musicals to Will while she was getting ready for work, she could swear that deep down he was laughing out loud just listening to those dorks performing their crazy and theatrical musical numbers!". Sun and Wolf usually came after lunch and they were her smoking buddies, they all knew it was wrong and harmful but it helped them to evade a little from reality and also those breaks helped Riley to stay away from any other recreational drugs in case Will needed her. They contributed any time they could through the detoxification process while they shared occasional philosophical thoughts, staying quite silent and meditative. In the evening, Lito passed by reading his scripts once and again with her, he was rehearsing his first movie since coming out and was quite insecure about pretty much every single thing about it. Nomi accompanied him to offer support and share similar experiences that would help him to go forward. Also she took the role of the leader, making sure everyone was doing fine and solving any misunderstanding or argument they would have.
"Oh, Nomi, thanks… for…" He vaguely noticed the woman's presence in the room.
"Hey, we're taking care of everything, ok? Don't worry, save those efforts." She winked and smirked
"Good… Remember…" And Riley knew, just like every night, that those words would be the last ones his lips would pronounce. However, she wasn't worried about not knowing what he was going to say. Because she didn't need to remember, she just would never forget.
"I love you" the girl ended for him calmly, releasing him from the weight of articulating words, filling every piece of their soul with those three letters that conveniently expressed the feelings both had for each other.
He nodded with the bit of strength he had left in his body and squeezed her hands while she ignored the tears running down her face that were blurring the view of his habitual 'see you tomorrow' devoted gaze he had already prepared, which was followed by a characteristic melancholic smile he always prepared to her, as a gift.
He leaned in and kissed his temple, forcing him to finally close his eyes. Nomi instinctively hugged her from behind for a few moments to let her cry at least a little in her shoulder, where she stayed curled up around her neck. Riley, her whole life, felt like she and everything she cared about were walking on a wire, a thin wire that represented the insecurities that constantly haunted her. And seeing all those people fall down like domino pieces made her want to fall with them, to get carried away by the lonely tides and simply give in. But lately she had found another reason to keep fighting, seven other reasons that needed her as much as she needed them. She felt useful, she felt valued and, most importantly, she felt alive. After being all this time afraid, she finally felt safe.